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I enjoyed your entry in the March Vignette, so I figured I'd give this a read.

I may get a bit sassy, but I still enjoy your style for the most part, and think you have some good potential.

...

Gnashing teeth and severed tongues decried his black descent,
wailing flesh defiled and wrought, by the hands of the profane prince.


Murry berfmas, cutter.

A female voice echoed through the house, and the swordsman wandered out to see who it was. Vauna was already sending Melnach Guard throughout the house, and stood next to the corpse of Bones. She...

The light that shone in through thin windows flickered with the lightning above, the heavens ever swirling in color. The swordsman had grown fond of that twisted sky, and glanced down at the blue...

"You've been watching him for days," she said leading.

"He's going to kill you. Cherub was supposed to do the job already."

She took the news pretty well, and even nodded calmly after a few...

Quick it was, after the resistance spread out among the city. They all waited until a flare shot up into the chaotic sky to attack at once, and most of the port guards gave up peacefully. They...

Surprisingly, no one did, and the next morning Nyadir was marching up the northern road with Vauna and nearly a hundred cat-folk all dressed in the deep blue of the Melnach Guard. Lorvo had argued...

As the resistance trickled into the inner city, occasional cries of battle rang out in the distance. Everyone was on edge, but the brave Vauna led the way with certainty. Deep blue doors parted...

A lithe hand whipped steel up to block the attack, and the assassin turned his head with a crunch. The swordsman recognized the sound, however, and leaned back just before the toxic green cloud...

A cool breeze carried the salt of the sea across the harbor, and canon fire rang out among the many ships gathered there. Though the tattered orange flag of the cat-folk still flew, their numbers...

Lightning crackled as swirls of orange and purple wafted up from the darkness below, and a bright blue wave poured out of the tunnels and down the canyon walls. Millions of glowing bugs congealed...

The sun struggled to shine through the hazy aurora above by the time the resistance left the blackened trees of The Rubber Woods. Everyone wor plain clothes, and carried satchels of various sizes....

"Yeah. Cherub is here then?"

"He is. We didn't expect any of those 'pigeons' he sent to make it. Strong birds you must have, in the north."

Though the young Tuevo had confusion painted plainly...

Gnarled black roots covered the dark soil, and twisted the ground into dips and valleys. The muscled man and the lithe cat-kid wormed their way through tall trunks, sky still flickering beyond the...

Those lofty goals led the pair across the rolling hills south of the port, which was apparently named Keinas, or Shorewatch. The lad asked about the storm that had landed the muscled man upon this...

With little other choice and no particular leads, the bare-armed swordsman bellowed over the line of refugees, seeking a guide to Kessar Forest. He would've sought a translator, if he hadn't...

Barren black soil rose in rolling hills just outside the port city, and the large half-elf sat on high the next morning listening to the screams from the buildings below. Though three wells were...

The soft greens and deep purples of the southern sky flickered with lightning, but the horizon below it stretched barren for miles. Nothing grew along those rocky shores; the only speck of...

Since you continue to ignore me in chat, I figured I'd post this here.

Did Team 1's Round Two thread happen, or not? You didn't even bother listing our thread in the From The Mists thread, and...

Since this was mainly an effort by Storm, I focused my feedback on his posts. I have a section for Tobias at the end.


Story:

The story started off about where you'd expect, and the pipe...

I bestow upon thee the fruit of my cynical bosom.

Verily, suckle forth upon its bristly teat.


Story

The opening poem was straightforward, and pretty neat. It was maybe a bit slow to...

Blistering sunlight beat down on a warped wooden deck, salt and sweat strong on the breeze. Thick jungle spread across the horizon, and a muscled half-elf rested bare elbows on the rail to gaze...

Wind howled through the broken stained-glass windows lining the church, and the stone walls and wooden pews disappeared into blackness between bursts of lightning. Each flash revealed more, a large...

The broad gates of the southern port stood open, but the guards closed them tight when they heard why the swordsman's companion had split off to chase the other man down. Rendering some small...

"Not if we don't catch him."

The swordsman found a line of tethered steeds near the supplies, and the two warriors were skirting the battle on horseback just as the samurai army showed up to help...