Bandits Ahoy! (OPEN)

[Cyrus the virus]

This should have been done sooner, but I’ve been pretty busy. You waited too long for this judging, especially unreasonable since J didn’t ask for comments. Sorry about that.

Story
Continuity – 6/10 Definitely consistent.
Setting – 6/10
Pacing – 5/10

Character
Dialogue – 7/10 Good. Very good in some places, not so good in others.
Action – 6/10
Persona – 5/10 I don’t understand why someone who kills for money would care about someone else being talked about behind their back. If Kyo hates when people insult others when they don’t deserve it, how can she kill someone without knowing whether or not they deserve it?

Writing Style
Technique – 5/10
Mechanics – 6/10
Clarity - 6/10 Small issues in Saxon’s writing, especially. Some ‘her’ instead of ‘him’ and similar mistakes, and you could work on your sentence structure to make it read in a clearer, less abstract way.

Miscellaneous
Wild Card - 8/10 As far as quick meet-up recruitment threads go, this was a good one. It wasn’t boring to read, there were lots of different things going on (rather than a single back-and-forth conversation) and it accomplished what it was supposed to.

Total: 60

Rayner loses some of his reward gold to cover the ale.
Saxon loses some of his reward gold for being noble.

Molotov receives 1,800 EXP, 150 gold.
Rayner receives 245 EXP, 30 gold.
Kyo receives 560 EXP, finds a keychain made of rubber, 180 gold.
Bandit receives 880 EXP, 150 gold.
Saxon receives 450 EXP, gains 20 gold.
Papa Dagon receives 245 EXP, 60 gold.
MiaKane receives 360 EXP, 120 gold.

[Karuka]

EXP/GP added! Kyo levels up!