2 v 2 Morituri te Salutant v. Celestial Warriors

[Abomination]

Freedom! Trapped! Run! Stay! We! You! Tobias! Tobias! Each word came from a different voice in head of The Homunculus. After the blinding light passed, his arms, legs, and head hanging limp as if no muscles held them up. Though his legs were limp, strings were attached to various parts of his body and pulled kept him in mid-air. The wind blew across the plains once more and there was a clakka-clakka sound of his body shuffling about in one place. In the distance, the rolling hills almost seemed to be pulled toward the battlefield. The stream, while pouring in one direction, flowed slightly toward the side where the three were located, hitting the shore before continuing its murky journey. Hazard... The wooden-like flesh on The Homunculus started rotting, peeling off and flying into the air. In its place regrew new skin, but not fast enough to replace most of the old. Something started appearing in the sky, but it had no concrete form yet.

Before the creation of this strange meteor could commence in earnest, Homun looked toward Banda and noticed Tobias heading right for him. Tobias? Tobias? Tobias? Tobias! TOBIAS! TOBY! TOBY!!

"Hoo~! Toby Toby~!!"

His thin, hollow body was lifted into the air by the invisible strings, and he started flying towards Banda with bits of his flesh still peeling off and flying towards the sky. His previously white body had started to turn a shade of metallic gray, slightly taking on the quality of iron. Genocide... His left hand detached itself in the same manner as his right, and out of both arm sockets emerged two long steel swords he had assimilated earlier. They extended out of his arm all the way to the handle, so it looked like just blade stuck right out of where his wrists were, with his dangly puppet hands clacking listlessly below. His black coat changed and and rather than turning into a cape, it turned into what appeared to be unwound blue ribbons, spinning themselves around his arms. His mouth opened and closed repeatedly as he flew towards his enemy.

Before Banda's fist could connect with the young boy, Homun's lightweight body flew in and took the blow in his cheek. Despite the loud CLANG! sound one would hear from striking iron, part of Homun's jaw ripped off like wood and fell to the ground, leaving only half a bottom jaw and a large gaping maw of darkness where half his mouth was. Time's running out! Time's running out! It was fun while it lasted! We tasted freedom! Freedom from the Toy World! The long blades sticking out of Homun's arms started swinging wildly at Banda, with the two unwound ribbons partly attached to his arms flying to the side, then at Banda from behind in an attempt to wrap themselves around him and suck out his adrenaline. Homun's jaw was not regenerating from the blow, in fact pieces of it were slowly being ripped off and sent towards the rotting meteor forming in the sky. While swinging his sword-arms around, his body was light and moving wildly, almost independently of his arms. He was fighting like a puppeteer was controlling him from above.

[Toy Soldier]

The young mage trainee was fully prepared to counter any attack of the enemy the instant the foolish Johx propelled him into the air. He been with his other worldly companions long enough to know their tendencies. Therefore, when he was sent airborne, Tobias gripped the straps of his shield tightly in order to be used as a means of either protection from the bandana wearing warrior, or a harsh fall to the ground. It seemed though, that when the fist had drove toward him, his crazed ally intercepted the impending strike wholeheartedly. Such a sudden move would’ve been noble and upright in normal circumstances, but due to the blade appendages that his Sine Nomine companion wildly swung in the process, Tobias' left leg had been slashed a few times before he could turn his shield toward the metallic onslaught and guard himself.

With a clamorous thud, the child hit the grass, skidding several feet on his shield, which exposed the fresh dirt beneath the green pliable blades and created a half-pipe indentation. Battalion lifted his face out of the dirt and violently spewed soil that he’d inadvertently collected in his mouth. Some of the torn earth had found its way in his feathered headdress that he briefly removed and shook loose.

“Freaking idiot!” The boy looked at his stringed friend whom had found a way to get himself impaled to the ground, via the dagger that the enemy threw right through his corded shoulder. The incessant laughter coming from the jester had grown intolerable to the Coronian orphan. His eyes began radiating a brilliant blue. The red wagon reacted to this by emitting an ominous black mist. Then from out of the center of the toppled vehicle, a black door quickly jutted out from it. For the first time, the clownish Johx adopted another emotion other than careless happiness.

“No….No! I don’t wanna’ leave yet!!! I was having so much fun!!!!!!!” Two beings had emerged from the black portal, contrasting their threaded companion in appearance entirely.

“You’re a fool! Take your seat in the lowest depths of our world!” After turning the wagon right-side up, the man adorned in fine white linens approached Johx, ripping him through the dagger in his shoulder and tossing him savagely through the enigmatic gateway. The cloaked elderly gentleman that’d also made his appearance observed the feuding warriors, having not paid the least bit of attention to the crowned jester. His expression remained confident and unalarmed, until he took notice of the rotting meteor hovering high in the sky. Wide eyes then set on the eleven year old.

“Care to explain what’s going on?” Hazard pointed upward with his index finger, guiding Tobias’ eyes to the recent development. The boy hadn’t even noticed it until now. Ever since he arrived on these plains and witnessed his partner’s techniques, he received an eerie feeling from him. The firing of fireworks and the shooting of countless knives had been strange enough, but with the emergence of the rotting ball, he began to piece things together.

“I think he’s……copying me.”

“Copying you? Nonsense.” The cloaked druid responded, dismissing the very notion.

“Well not me, but…..you guys.”

Both Season and Hazard refused to believe that such a thing was even possible. But the voice of Talisman Grail entered their minds from the realm of the Toy World, confirming Tobias’ observations.

“You two would do well to listen to the child for once,” The militaristic historian continued, carrying on in his brash and authoritative tone. “The wildly violent specimen that you see fighting Banda Utako is called Homun Culus. He definitely has the ability to copy the skills and techniques of anyone or anything he touches. In this process he receives also the mannerisms, thoughts, and experiences of the individual that he assimilates with. Since that idiot Johx had caused both he and Tobias to fly wildly on the scene of battle, when the wagon hit Homun, the assimilation process began. So what you have now is a fellow who’s utilizing the power of several Toy World residents as I’m sure you’ve figured out by now……Hazard.”

Grail said nothing after that, but the information he provided was more than enough for the trio. Hazard was fascinated that such a specimen existed in this world. “This homunculus interests me greatly. I’d like to investigate his assimilation abilities further.”

The stream nearby was full of aquatic life that fishers and farmers of the rural area thrived on. But such life was robbed of its vitality when the evil druid walked to the edge of the waters and stuck the Blight Jar in, thus killing all of the dense life that this portion of the stream contained. The waters quickly turned a gangrene color while fragments of decaying fish ascended to add to the collective waste of the rotting meteor. When it’d grown to the size of a boulder, the vile warlock turned and evil eye toward Tobias and Season.

“Start the fires.”

The two knew what to do. Having still harbored indignation for the fact that he’d been wounded due to Johx’s antics, Tobias stood in front of the young, finely dressed mage. The temperature of the area grew hotter than it already was, bringing flames to patches of grass that were dry as well as producing a haze in the distance as humidity built up.

Then, when Tobias let out a vociferous outcry, flames ignited from around him. Wielding the conjured magic, Season sent the flames to the aerial meteor, setting it ablaze. “To do away with a bug is most imperative if I want begin examining the homunculus in a decent time frame.” Taking control of his own technique, Hazard lifted up his arms and guided the torched meteor down towards Utako in all hopes of crushing and incinerating him so that not a shred of his humanity remained.

[streak101]

A surge of pain went through Banda's arm when his punch connected with the shape shifter. He had not hit the child, but the boy was still harmed by his teammate. The dagger had halted the other puppet creature in its tracks. He meant to look at the boy but his shape shifting enemy had began another attack, with two long blades slashing frantically at the mercenary, Banda could hear the wagon doing some strange formation as well.

He parried the Homunculus' attacks. Banda! Ribbons! They will bind you! The mercenary saw the ribbons unwrap themselves from his enemy's body and stretch towards his. With his other hand, Banda gripped the ribbon coming from the right and tugged it to throw the Homunculus behind him whilst parrying the oncoming attacks from the Homunculus.

Banda, meteor! Banda looked up, a fireball the size of a boulder was careening towards Banda from the sky. The boy, he's brought friends. Banda ran forward grabbing his sword and chain and side-rolled to the left and dodged the crashing rock. He was in a position that he saw both his opponents, the shape shifter on his right and the strange boy on the left. Banda, choose wisely, one mistake can mean - "Saffron! Shut the hell up!" Banda screamed, stomping the ground in irritation.

Something hit his foot, he looked down. His boomerang was there, in flames no less. The meteor must have set it aflame! Banda looked at the crater in the ground. He grinned, "Wood and fire don't mix very well." He picked up his boomerang and quickly threw it at the shape shifter, his hand sustaining a minor burn. He sprinted towards the boy and his allies. He made a wide, arcing swing with his chain and sword at the three. "Fine Kara, this will be my fight alone." Banda said through clenched teeth.

[Abomination]

The ribbons had done their job. In fact, Banda had grabbed them to throw Homun away from the battle! It was such a nice act, especially considering the danger of the meteor just hovering ahead. The ribbons' draining power came from their contact with the target, so Banda's adrenaline should be diminished. Still, able to parry Homun's quick attacks and expose himself to throw him away was quite a feat. This was someone who Homun couldn't beat if he didn't have control of his assimilation. The Homunculus found himself on the ground, but not for long. Propping himself back up like a wind-up toy with the ribbons losing their inanimate movement and falling helplessly to the ground, he was about to continue his attack until he noticed his movement stopping completely. Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! It's over! It's over! It's over! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! The voices in his head were not his, and it was only just now that he realized this. He was realizing quite a bit of things just now, which means... The assimilation! It's ending! The last thought was in his own voice.

He couldn't move. The last phase of assimilation was taking its toll, and all the damage he had built up was magnified. His body was returning back to its original form, and the grotesqueness of his missing jaw was now evident. At least, since it's been so long since the wound, the blood had clotted already. Still, his body felt heavy and fleshy. His hands fell off his arms like rotten apples, and the swords fused with his skin and bone. It was a disgusting sight, and he couldn't do anything about it. His skull felt like it was going to split open all over again.

So obviously, he couldn't do anything about that meteor crashing down. He looked up for a moment before he lost consciousness completely, his mutilated, pathetic excuse for a body joined up in the momentum of the flaming boulder that rolled down into the stream and got swept up in the current. In his last moments, he wondered exactly what had went wrong. He somehow knew that his alleged 'teammate' was to blame. He thought: wHeN i gEt OUt oF hErE, i'LL KILL hIM! His bloody body was careening downstream, and he was gone. In the spot where the meteor collided with him, a large glowing husk of flesh, wood, and debris remained that could be mistaken for Homun's body.

[Toy Soldier]

Watching the fiery flesh comprised meteor plummet to the open grass fields and deliver deathly judgment to Tobias’ newfound ally was not a sight that Hazard expected to observe. By the way that the fallen companion had utilized the unfamiliar techniques owned by the residents of the Toy World, the old druid was quite sure that the homunculus would adeptly evade the rotting rock instead of succumbing to its weight and intensity, allowing it to pilfer the life right out of him. It was all anti-climatic as far as the cloaked elder was concerned.

A slight interruption reared its vile head though, in the form of Banda Utako. The chain and sword were swung with pure and fresh viciousness, which would’ve certainly rendered the receiver of the murderous weapons dismembered like the corpse of Homun Culus. However, despite their awkwardness and unorthodox behavior, determination wrapped firmly in hardened battle experience rested snuggly in Tobias and his companions.

What appeared to be but a simple attacking maneuver had come with a twist. The chain dipped somewhat low while the blade cut through the air at mid height. Hazard was the furthest away from both the long and short range assaults, so for him he simply took a casual step back, allowing the tail end of the metal chain link to whip passed his face which in turn caused a brief gentle breeze to push the hood of his cloak off of his head. The elderly codger was well equipped for distanced combat and could’ve easily made short work of the young and inexperienced Banda. However, his interest simply wasn’t in the persistent fighter. Instead, his eyes fell upon the remains of the homunculus’ cadaver, since the bulk of the slain body had already traveled quite a distance downstream with the meteor.

“I have to collect what I can!” Hazard yelled as he ran in the direction of his bloodied and lacerated treasure. Meanwhile, Season and Tobias reacted in unison in response to the two-fold threat. Utako’s blade came in swift and hard, yet the orphan raised his shield at the proper time, letting the steel defense utility clang against the sword’s razor sharp edge. When the fury of the blade was quelled, the child ducked and then moved the large round shield over his head as if it were an umbrella. Season responded to this gesture by leaping atop the shield and then quickly springing aerially. While airborne, the arrogant mage concocted an ice javelin, which he hurled down speedily at the cloth-covered head of Banda. Instant yet brutal death was the desired result of such actions.

Back at the sight of the homunculus’ remains, Hazard kneeled down, examining the pieces of flesh and charred wood that gave off a stench worse than his dead skin that would grow back after having been robbed of it by the Blight Jar. Tobias’ wagon was very close by, and the black door gateway was still wide open. A wicked smile suddenly crossed his face as he hastily gathered what was left of Homun’s corpse. Tossing it into the opened door of the red wagon, the druid immediately followed after it, closing the door of the ominous Toy World behind him.

[streak101]

His attack was unsuccessful, the old man accompanying the boy had dodged the quite easily, the boy blocked the sword with ease using his shield. Banda spit on the ground. It would have been easier to fight the child from afar without having to touch him but if Banda continued to battle using long range tactics the boy would only use the proportionately large shield to cover his small body.

He suspected the shape shifter had been defeated, if he hadn't been then the homunculus would have returned with another devastating onslaught of murderous tactics. The mercenary had to give credit to the boy and his friend though, for their attacks were just as intentionally bloody as their partner's were.

Banda ran from the lance. Outrunning the weapon seemed to be the only way to dodge it at this point. As he ran though, a pain struck his left leg, as though his energy had been sapped from his body. Saffron gasped in his mind. The ribbons, their effects must have been delayed due to the gloves on your hands.

Banda tripped onto the ground, and as he did, his boomerang was returning to him, now burning away slowly like wax on a candle. Ice and fire collided, leaving steam and condensed water to descend upon Banda, whose leg was still movementless. "Guess you should thank your partner." He said smirking. He staggered up to his knees and pulled on the chain, protecting his face with the claymore in his left hand. The charred remains of the boomerang only hinted at what he thought was to come. He had to buy himself some time to regain movement in his leg. I'm ready for the worst. He thought to himself, if only to keep him from thinking of death.

[Toy Soldier]

When the ice lance darted through the air, missing its target and finding residence in Woodsy Green soil, the young boy’s eyes locked in on it and acquired a countenance that was of an individual frozen with fear, for it served as a trigger of sorts. The thrill of battle and violence was stirring up in him and had reached a point that rivaled the feelings he had when he was still under the care of the Oak Grove Orphanage. The desire to see Utako dead and his flesh burned by the murderous hands of Season had brought a strange sense of excitement that he immediately attempted to root out with self-talk. “I can’t think like that anymore!” Tobias shook his head in frustration, wishing not to revert back to a mindset that had only sought to destroy lives.

Season witnessed the subtle change in the child’s intensity through use of his peripheral vision and knew exactly what was going on. “Get yourself together, boy!” His gaze never lifted from the enemy, realizing that death could come to any warrior that allowed a distraction to soften his or her guard. However, the real reason for the urgency in his demands was due to the fact that their adversary had struggled to remain balanced. The brown haired mage wasn’t entirely sure as to the reason behind this, but understood that such an opportunity would not last long.

Yet the element of surprise was always at a premium.

“Child, what are you doing!?” Season’s indignation caused him to turn his head toward Tobias, which revealed to him a terrified boy who had not fallen to his knees.

“I’m not going to do this!” Battalion dug his fingers frustratingly into the ground, tearing away blades of grass and exposing the earth and its small inhabitants below. He’d recalled the thoughts he had with regard to doing whatever was necessary to keep those in Raiaera that he cared about safe, but he’d forgotten the mental turmoil he went through upon recognizing the wrong deeds that he’d done. This battle was a strong reminder of those times.
Sighing, Season formed two additional ice spears and kept them afloat with the use of the wind that he was able to manipulate. They hovered obediently, eagerly waiting for their master to ship them off to the enemy’s supple and fatigued flesh and find their domicile in his vital organs. However, to make a rash move without Tobias was risky, since he wouldn’t have the luxury of forcing the enemy of worry about two opponents attacking rather than just one. But the child was unresponsive and lost in his own little world.

“Tch! If you’re going to persist in acting like a frightened toddler, then you’re useless.” Season was about to shoot the ice lances at Banda with immense speed, but the emission of the dark wagon mist had covered nearby ground. From the door yet another of the Toy World’s children emerged. “Wh…what are you doing here?” The magic user inquired to the new individual, stuttering in his shock.

“It is time. This battle is over.” Talisman Grail stoutly stood on the surface of this realm in perfect posture. His military garb was immaculate which was a testament to his dislike of personally getting involved in battles and instead letting lesser beings (in his eyes) handle the grunt work.

“Is that so?” Season immediately melted the crystallized javelins. “Well, this is quite the pleasant surprise. Unfortunately, the little gate opener has experienced a loss of heart.”

“I’ll take care of this little problem.” Grail gave Season a look of assurance, which the mage responded to before leaving for the black door entrance. Talisman then walked over to the terrified Tobias and looked down on him with pure contempt. “You fail to realize that your antics will do nothing but cause you to witness the death of anyone and everyone who is close to you. Your only chance in saving them is to do as we say. Isn’t that clear?”

Tobias looked up at the intimidating figure and remained motionless. The fear that’d already set in him was only amplified by the appearance of Talisman Grail, who seemed to have a certain level of authority over many of the residents of the strange wagon world. He knew he had to move, but to do so meant that he’d invite that horrible feeling of guilt back into his mind, since the eleven year old knew that his Toy World accomplices never had his best interest at heart.

“F….fine.” Tobias finally rose to his feet, which produced a grin across Grail’s face.

“A wise decision. Now go. In serving your purpose, Hazard was able to acquire something very valuable. We shall see if it brings to fruition the first step of our……plan.” Battalion never liked the schemes that Grail orchestrated, but simply did as he was told like always. By entering the wagon world he’d be subjecting himself to verbal abuse and torture of all kinds, but to rebel as he’d thought only moments ago would do nothing for him.

When Tobias entered the black door, Grail soon followed after him. However, before he plunged back into his home realm, he glanced at Banda Utako. “It is a shame when so much is out of your control,” Grail spoke with his usual arrogance and air of superiority. “You couldn’t save your mother from your father and now you can’t even save yourself from that which Sine Nomine will bring upon the world. Maybe it would be in your best interest to end it all right here.”

Afterward, Grail smirked and left the fatigued Utako to his lonesome. Perhaps his advice would be taken.

(Final post.)

[streak101]

Banda stared at this newcomer, he seemed to be the one who ruled over the boy, and even the magician who was prepared to decimate Banda had melted the ice lances once being ordered to stop. The magician entered the wagon and disappeared into the vehicle, soon the boy followed obediently. As the supposed leader was about to step into the wagon, he spoke to the mercenary. His words froze Banda to the ground as though the lances really did pin him there.

"H-how do you-" Banda uttered in fright, but the man was gone. He stared into the space where he had stood, how did this stranger know about his past? He trembled uncontrollably. The man, whoever he was, was indeed correct. He couldn't do anything as his mother was struck down by the man he held so much hatred for. Only when his brother had destroyed his own mind in order to destroy his father had his mother been saved and even then it was not enough. He thought he had changed, yet even now he could do nothing as his opponent was about to finish him off.

He won, or at least it seemed that way, but only by sheer luck and desperation. It was hardly an improvement. He stared at his arm, the blood had clotted some time ago but his arm was beginning to lose feeling. Banda focusd the small amount of magic he possessed on the wound and it healed somewhat, a green aura surrounding it. His leg had recovered and he stood up. Banda was alone on the plains, the marks on the ground indicated the battle had taken place, the remains of the meteor smoldering in the crater the large ball of flame had created.

The first round was over, but it had broken Banda's spirit. The absence of his partner and the brutality of his opponents had done its toll on his mind. Banda, are you okay? The mercenary laughed maniacally. He placed a hand over his face. "He is right you know, I couldn't do anything then, and I couldn't do much now either." He laughed again, "But I did something Saffron, didn't I?" Yes of course, you killed one of your opponents and held a fight against many opponents on your own!

Banda stared at the ground, "Yes, I suppose. Only because of their lack of teamwork though, and on the count of the range of effect of their attacks." He laughed. "Look at me, helpless when I lose, helpless when I win! Maybe I should just end my life here! Right now!" Banda picked up one of the daggers that had been used in the battle and held it to his chest. Thoughts of his mother flooded his mind. He ceased his laughing and threw the dagger in frustration at the ground. "I will not become my father." He clenched his teeth.

He trodded off farther into the plains. "This doesn't end here," he recalled the man, he mentioned Sine Nomine, "They are my enemy now, the next time I see that boy or any of his allies I will strike without questioning. From now on, there will be no remorse for my enemies in this tournament, no mercy." He picked up his belongings. "I will become stronger."

((Final Post))

[Christoph]

Karuka Tida charitably offered to help out and judge this battle. The following is her judgment:

"Judgment: Celestial Warriors v. Morituri te Salutant 2v2

Celestial Warriors:

Seline: 0 - You didn't post.

streak101: You did a good job, and are to be commended for not giving up in the face of abandonment by your teammate.

Continuity: 7 - I understood why you came to the tournament and what you were determined to do after.

Pacing: 6 - the pacing of this thread was pretty bumpy, but you kept it moving forward as best you could.

Setting: 2 - I didn't get much sense of setting from you at all.

Persona: 4 - the last post was great for persona, but on the whole, I got very little of Banda. Try working more of that into your posts, it'll add some substance.

Action: 4 - You had quite a few abilities you could have used in this thread, and instead you pretty much relied on luck and your opponents' bumbling to see you through. And I also don't know why you have Saffron talking in your head. Saffron was listed in your history, but there was no ability listed that has him talking in Banda's head.

Dialogue: 5 - There were several things said that didn't need to be, and it wound up amounting to some needless prattle. Some of it was good (again, in the last post), but when Homon Culus was approaching, it's just running off your mouth when an experienced warrior would stand ready.

Mechanics: 7 - there were very few mistakes here.

Technique: 2 - I didn't really see anything here.

Clarity: 4 - The style of thread really helped mess up the clarity, but there were several points I wondered "what is he doing?"

Wild Card: 9 - There was a lot about your writing that could have been better, but it takes real grit to do a team match solo - especially when your opponents can pull out extra helpers. +2 for making it to the end on your own, +2 for finishing the battle.

Total: 50

Team average: 25

Morituri te Salutant

Homunculus: As far as I know, you can only assimilate one being at a time. I was quite disappointed to see that you used multiple NPCs for your transformations. Your profile even says "if there are multiple targets, and they all touch Homun simultaneously, it is random which genetic data is accepted, but only one can be accepted in the end."

Continuity: 4 - I don't really have much idea of what brought you this far, ultimately, or what you've been up to, just what drives your character.

Pacing: 6 - You did a decent job of keeping things moving, but sometimes (like after multiple-post exchanges between streak and Toy Soldier), you'd go back a bit and that was something of a break.

Setting: 3 - Like I said to streak, I didn't get much setting from you.

Persona: 5 - Homon seems pretty flat. While that might be intentional, all it seems you've made your guy of was bloodlust, like a machine.

Action: 5 - Most of it seemed like something he'd do, but it all went by kind of rushed. I liked the way his jaw came off and the description of that, and I liked that you took damage off your ally. There was a lot of you two bungling around each other.
I deducted a few points here for assimilating multiple NPCs. You can't do that yet.

Dialogue: 6 - there wasn't much of it, but what there was was in character.

Mechanics: 9 - good job.

Technique: 5 - I noticed a few little things, but not enough to get this above a 5.

Clarity: 4 - A lot of what you did in your writing was kind of jumbled, and I found myself going back and re-reading your posts quite often.

Wild Card: 8 - +2 for completing the battle.

Total: 55

Toy Soldier

I'll put my comments in the individual sections, since I didn't really notice anything out of line with your stated abilities.

Continuity: 9 - You did the best job here by far. I have some in-depth knowledge of Tobias's reasons for doing everything that he's doing, as well as his backstory and why he's going on.

Pacing: 5 - You really knocked the pacing back when you entered. There had been some high-intensity stuff happening, and then you have a really long and slow intro, and there's a lot of bumping about during the thread.

Setting: 5 - I didn't get much setting from anyone, but you were more aware of it than either of the other participants in your thread.

Persona: 4 - While a lot of what Toby acted like was explained by his past, he acts like a confused man, and not like a child. Children think differently than adults do

Action: 6 - There was a lot of potential for this battle, but instead it was a lot of you and Homun bungling around each other. I liked how you took damage from Homun, but the organization was really cluttered. I think there had to have been some dialogue between the two of you, but some real planning would have cleaned this up nicely.

Dialogue: 5 - Like I said under Persona, Toby doesn't quite read as a child. Even though he has had bad things happen, his little brain isn't through developing yet, so he still thinks like a child.

Mechanics: 9 - I noticed a couple of mistakes, but good job over all.

Technique: 5 - Again with some wording issues that sounded more adult. In particular, when Toby was thrown from the wagon, he had some "abrasions" on his legs. Did you have abrasions when you were 11, or were they "scrapes"?

Clarity: 6 - Pretty much what I've said for the others follows here. There was a lot of back and forth and jumble bumble.

Wild Card: 8 - +2 for completing the thread.

Total: 62

Team Average: 57.5

The winner is Morituri te Salutant.

Rewards

streak101 gets 250 EXP and 90 GP
Homunculus gets 750 EXP and 110 GP
Toy Soldier gets 1375 EXP and 124 GP"

[Cyrus the virus]

Rewards added, sorry for the wait.