Quest Judging
Intricacies of Asymmetry
STORY
Continuity ~ 5/10. I felt that there was much here to be desired. There were references made to past adventures and encounters that would have left me a bit confused had I not read those threads. A little more explanation would have been nice.
Setting ~ 7/10. You're getting better at not dropping the setting in favor of other forms of filler, well done.
Pacing ~ 6/10. This was a bit slow from time to time. It wasn't that there wasn't anything happening, it was just that what was happening wasn't holding my attention well. See Technique.
CHARACTER
Dialogue ~ 7/10. I like what you did with the meaning of the elves words, though sometimes you took it a bit too far.
Action ~ 7/10.
Persona ~ 8/10. I liked how well you outlined the personalities of your characters, even though your perspective of elves differs from mine. I thought there were a few times when you made them sound awfully like Drow.
WRITING STYLE
Technique ~ 6/10. I know I've talked to you before about putting too much Pratchett emulation into your writing, so I won't even touch on it here. Aside from that, I found your style to be like reading a guidebook. I connected more with the NPCs than I did with your character, and I would really like you to work on that a bit. The biggest problem was the humor. There are times to do it and times not to. Until the end, you really pushed it, and it took a lot away from the more serious moments of thread. A time for everything, you know? I felt that the timing of a lot of your jokes was off, and that a lot could be gained by looking at the ending of your thread. There are still humorous moments, but they are lighter, not pushed so hard and the serious of moments, especially the moments of horror when he's dealing with his act of necromancy, are given the proper respect that they deserved. I thought your ending was absolutely masterful, and I wish I could have been that enthralled with the rest of the thread.
Mechanics ~ 9/10.
Clarity ~ 7/10. Here and there I didn't quite understand what you were trying to get across, but for the most part this was fine.
MISCELLANEOUS
Wild Card ~ 6/10.
TOTAL ~ 68/100.
Caden Law gains 3173 EXP and 508 GP
Caden also gains a basic knowledge of necromancy, as per requested.
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