Random IM Conversations (Part V)

[Saxon]

Any time, Pedro.

[Zook Murnig]

A couple days ago...

SuperSonicMatt1 (12:30:20 AM): Has he demonstrated how sex with Josh is a religious experience yet?
Necathys (12:30:28 AM): The man can take on a bazooka but he won't let people get someonething to protect themselves against knives.
Necathys (12:30:41 AM): Oh god I don,t think I even read that in depth.
Necathys (12:30:45 AM): It actually says that?
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:30:50 AM): Yes.
Necathys (12:31:20 AM): I mean it's funny with Pat and his foreplay ability.
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:31:27 AM): Hell, Caduceus actually makes it a true religious experience, and it's not in his profile. Are you going to dock my score for that?
Necathys (12:31:44 AM): Haha, no
Necathys (12:32:27 AM): Use the Throbbing spear of heavens
Necathys (12:32:28 AM): No
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:32:38 AM): Spear, definitely.
Necathys (12:32:38 AM): Spear of Longinus
Necathys (12:32:42 AM): Shit that's blasphemous
Necathys (12:32:49 AM): So wrong.
Necathys (12:32:56 AM): It actually made me feel queasy.
Necathys (12:33:17 AM): But it's got Long in it, and the pun was too strong.
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:33:57 AM): I think we'll skip banana, though.
Necathys (12:34:11 AM): What about...
Necathys (12:34:28 AM): Purple Helmeted Soldier of Love?
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:34:34 AM): ...
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:35:06 AM): Yeah, definitely looking for simple stuff. One word or compound words.
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:35:15 AM): Like shillelagh.
Necathys (12:35:16 AM): The Mushroom
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:35:33 AM): Witching stick.
Necathys (12:35:34 AM): I actually have a hard time pronouncing that
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:35:39 AM): Truncheon.
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:35:45 AM): Shi-lay-lee.
Necathys (12:35:47 AM): The clobberer
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:35:58 AM): Wand.
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:36:00 AM): Staff.
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:36:02 AM): Rod.
Necathys (12:36:09 AM): The red mallet
Necathys (12:36:12 AM): Oohm alleus
Necathys (12:36:15 AM): *Malleus
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:36:23 AM): Malleus?
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:36:25 AM): Is that a word?
Necathys (12:36:31 AM): Yes
Necathys (12:36:33 AM): hammer
Necathys (12:36:52 AM): the righteous maul
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:36:59 AM): It's the Hebrew Hammer!
Necathys (12:37:17 AM): The circumsized sledge?
Necathys (12:37:37 AM): Oh!
Necathys (12:37:40 AM): Naturally, the verge
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:37:47 AM): Verge?
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:37:56 AM): Virgin?
Necathys (12:38:08 AM): [n] a ceremonial or emblematic staff
Necathys (12:38:19 AM): It's also a french unit of measure
Necathys (12:38:26 AM): And a word for penis
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:38:37 AM): I'll definitely use "his virgin verge."
Necathys (12:38:49 AM): scepter!
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:38:58 AM): Already used it, I believe.
Necathys (12:38:59 AM): shepherd's crook!
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:39:06 AM): That's a good one!
Necathys (12:39:07 AM): Lead the muttons!
Necathys (12:39:09 AM): Hahaha
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:39:34 AM): Thesaurus.com has no results for "penis."
Necathys (12:39:37 AM): Ooh, a mace
Necathys (12:39:41 AM): Oooh, a flagpole
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:39:52 AM): Flagpole, no.
Necathys (12:39:53 AM): The flagpole of his longing virginity
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:39:56 AM): That sounds like porn.
Necathys (12:40:02 AM): Pole, t hen?
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:40:10 AM): Nah...
Necathys (12:40:16 AM): hockey stick
Necathys (12:40:24 AM): lacrosse
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:40:29 AM): ...
Necathys (12:40:30 AM): crosse!
Necathys (12:40:43 AM): A crosse COULD work
Necathys (12:41:00 AM): It doesn't sound silly
Necathys (12:41:21 AM): And it's the stick they use for the game anyway, which was inspired by a shepherd's crook to start with
Necathys (12:42:36 AM): baton?
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:42:38 AM): Wow, according to Wiktionary, the word for penis in quite a few languages is, in fact, penis.
Necathys (12:43:13 AM): Wait how?
Necathys (12:43:20 AM): I mean, french, sure
Necathys (12:43:29 AM): but what else?
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:44:27 AM): Afrikaans. Bosnian. Croatian. Czech. Danish. Finnish. Latin. Polish. Romanian. Serbian. Slovene. Swedish.
Necathys (12:44:41 AM): That's mind-blowing
Necathys (12:44:56 AM): But it's more like they adopted the wordl ater on
Necathys (12:45:01 AM): as a synonym to their own word for it
Necathys (12:45:09 AM): Right?
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:45:11 AM): In a couple cases, yeah.
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:45:14 AM): But not all.
Necathys (12:45:27 AM): Well latin is understandable
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:45:29 AM): It's actually from Latin.
Necathys (12:45:35 AM): That being the point
Necathys (12:45:53 AM): But the other languages don't stem from latin do they?
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:46:20 AM): And so many other cultures saw the Roman penis and heard the word immediately around it.
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:46:28 AM): Thank Caesar for that.
Necathys (12:46:56 AM): Thank you Caesar for globalizing the penis
Necathys (12:47:10 AM): We owe you the world
Necathys (12:47:20 AM): And the full measure of its progress
Necathys (12:48:16 AM): Lituus - a) A curved staff used by the augurs in quartering the
heavens.

Necathys (12:48:23 AM): Ooh! Musket! Bayonet!
Necathys (12:48:27 AM): Oooh! Magical flute!
Necathys (12:48:38 AM): The oboe of his love!
Necathys (12:49:25 AM): His melodious bassoon
Necathys (12:49:49 AM): I don,t think you'd want the italian equivalent of a bassoon though
Necathys (12:49:53 AM): AKA fagot

Later...

Necathys (12:54:49 AM): But why?
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:55:04 AM): On principle.
Necathys (12:55:30 AM): Because good sex isn't a spoil?
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:55:38 AM): Exactly.
Necathys (12:55:43 AM): Hahaha
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:55:50 AM): Nor is it a viable thing to put in your character profile.
Necathys (12:56:02 AM): Well, viable if you're serious about it
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:56:09 AM): Everyone has their fucking off days. Literally.
Necathys (12:56:27 AM): But his is almost literally made of mythril
Necathys (12:56:49 AM): He could stab people with it and it'd leave a war intact.
Necathys (12:56:56 AM): That is not cool.
Necathys (12:57:06 AM): That is a new genre of gore porn on DA.
SuperSonicMatt1 (12:58:48 AM): Well, he's had his junk chomped down on and he's still capable of providing a religious experience.
Necathys (12:59:14 AM): Madison should've bitten the tip off while she still could
Necathys (12:59:21 AM): While it was still soft
Necathys (12:59:30 AM): And unprotected
SuperSonicMatt1 (1:00:07 AM): Well, technically she still could.
SuperSonicMatt1 (1:00:15 AM): *can.
SuperSonicMatt1 (1:01:24 AM): When he's not hard, the muscles are as soft as skin, and the human jaw is incredibly powerful.
Necathys (1:01:52 AM): Though technically it's sponge tissue rather than muscles
Necathys (1:02:10 AM): THe only muscle in there is the lower strip that's connected to the anus
SuperSonicMatt1 (1:02:22 AM): No, the sponge tissue is at the base.
Necathys (1:02:24 AM): Allowing a minimum of mobility
Necathys (1:02:33 AM): Wasn't it the other way around?
Necathys (1:02:38 AM): Lemme flex.
SuperSonicMatt1 (1:02:40 AM): Nope.
Necathys (1:02:42 AM): Hmm...
SuperSonicMatt1 (1:02:50 AM): Seriously, I know waht I'm talking about.
Necathys (1:03:02 AM): Why is most of the action in the lower area then?
SuperSonicMatt1 (1:06:13 AM): The muscles on the rest of the penis just tense. They don't have anything to pull on.
Necathys (1:07:03 AM): I'm actually looking at the cross-section of a penis right now
Necathys (1:07:12 AM): God, the things you make me research.
SuperSonicMatt1 (1:07:36 AM): Not a bone in there, despite its alias.
SuperSonicMatt1 (1:08:01 AM): Rather, it's muscle.
Necathys (1:08:43 AM): Most sites say that there's only a minimal numbero f muscles
Necathys (1:08:48 AM): One even says that there aren't any
Necathys (1:08:56 AM): All say that the penis is made of three spongy tubes
SuperSonicMatt1 (1:09:08 AM): DON'T LISTEN TO THEM.
SuperSonicMatt1 (1:09:13 AM): IT'S A TRAP!
Necathys (1:09:22 AM): Oh god!
Necathys (1:09:37 AM): They're trying to make me think that masturbation doesn,t makethep enis stronger!
Necathys (1:09:48 AM): MUSCLES GET BIGGER IF YOU GET RIPPED
Necathys (1:09:57 AM): Therefore, masturbation makes the PENIS BIGGER
Necathys (1:10:18 AM): But they're trying to to lower me into thinking that it's impossible!

[Allenslob]

omg, talk about penis? that had to be awkward, are any of yall girls? cause if you arent then you didnt say no homo

[streak101]

[19:28] Supercalifragilisticespialidocious*: hi
[19:29] Giancarlo(Shika-Kun, Streak101): how in the hell did you spell that!?
[19:29] Supercalifragilisticespialidocious*: lol
[19:29] Supercalifragilisticespialidocious*: by doing it
[19:29] Supercalifragilisticespialidocious*: duhh
[19:29] Giancarlo(Shika-Kun, Streak101): holy crap
[19:29] Supercalifragilisticespialidocious*: lol
[19:29] Supercalifragilisticespialidocious*: wut?
[19:29] Giancarlo(Shika-Kun, Streak101): nothign
[19:29] Giancarlo(Shika-Kun, Streak101): thats just amazing
[19:30] Supercalifragilisticespialidocious*: lol
[19:30] Giancarlo(Shika-Kun, Streak101): supercalifragilisticespialidocious
[19:30] Supercalifragilisticespialidocious*: umm...k
[19:30] Giancarlo(Shika-Kun, Streak101): wuts up?
[19:31] Supercalifragilisticespialidocious*: nada
[19:31] Supercalifragilisticespialidocious*: nd u?
[19:32] Giancarlo(Shika-Kun, Streak101): meh
[19:32] Giancarlo(Shika-Kun, Streak101): I'm bored
[19:32] Supercalifragilisticespialidocious*: k
[19:33] Supercalifragilisticespialidocious*: supercalifragilisticespialidocious
[19:33] Giancarlo(Shika-Kun, Streak101): lol
[19:33] Supercalifragilisticespialidocious*: lol
[19:33] Supercalifragilisticespialidocious*: wow
[19:34] Giancarlo(Shika-Kun, Streak101): its just funny

[Blind Justices]

SethDahlios (3:52:24 AM): Just remember, we don't know your storyline, you, unlike a certain boring bastard (read: ME), don't spoil it to everyone within ear's reach.
restitutionspork (3:52:58 AM): You're the only one I've told. n.n
SethDahlios (3:53:09 AM): Ain't I special.
restitutionspork (3:53:35 AM): I probably did it because when I get to the end of the thread and forget how I wanted it to end, I can go through AIM logs and find out. You're my secretary.
SethDahlios (3:54:14 AM): Awww, how cute...do I get a phone and computer?
SethDahlios (3:54:21 AM): Can I tell you you missed an appointment?
restitutionspork (3:54:39 AM): No, but you can wear short dresses and suck my dick for raises.

[Liliana Ambria]

[02:08] RestitutionSpork: Well, I'm ignoring them for the time being. So, still, no. Dammit. Although there's going to be a women's only dance song going to be on there.
[02:08] RestitutionSpork: "You Don't Own Me" from the First Wives Club, played by Rasputina. XD
[02:08] SethDahlios: Ha ha ha
[02:08] SethDahlios: KNowing me I'd be cheering you girls on.
[02:08] RestitutionSpork: Really, I'm only using that song to make out with Jenn and Megan.
[02:08] SethDahlios: Definitely now.
[02:09] RestitutionSpork: ROFL!
[02:09] RestitutionSpork: And while that goes on, all the boys bring out the camera/tape recorders. *giggle*
[02:09] SethDahlios: Of course.
[02:09] SethDahlios: What self respecting man wouldn't, besides your father of course...
[02:09] RestitutionSpork: ROFL.
[02:09] RestitutionSpork: True
[02:10] SethDahlios: This aint no ALabama wedding!
[02:11] RestitutionSpork: Haha! Indeed not.

[Tainted Bushido]

[16:43] Sukoda Fox: Was trying to post in Learn to Fly. I wrote four sentences. >.>
[16:43] SethDahlios: Its okay I understand.
[16:44] SethDahlios: Seth is very sexy

[Saxon]

restitutionspork (3:54:39 AM): No, but you can wear short dresses and suck my dick for raises.

American free enterprise at it's finest.

[Arsène]

AngelicMalice15 (6:55:51 PM): Yo.
moderndaypaladin (6:57:26 PM): whats up?
AngelicMalice15 (6:57:54 PM): Wet and tired
moderndaypaladin (6:58:01 PM): did you just get laid?
AngelicMalice15 (6:58:13 PM): I live in new england
AngelicMalice15 (6:58:36 PM): And have mono
moderndaypaladin (6:59:20 PM): ah...
moderndaypaladin (6:59:23 PM): that makes sense
moderndaypaladin (6:59:33 PM): I was hoping for a more positive spin
AngelicMalice15 (6:59:33 PM): I fear for my spleen
moderndaypaladin (6:59:37 PM): I do too

[Breaker]

Ez150 (12:35:09 AM): sup nugget
AlexTheLlamas (12:36:15 AM): not much uh... broccoli.