Fourth Target: The Dweller in the Dark

[Mage Hunter]

"I feel somewhat useless," Drusilia mused. Her hair had once again been brushed out of the way once Godhand had moved beyond the effective range of the arrows. She couldn't afford to do anything else, for even now the symptoms of Mana Burn had come up once more. The queasiness of her stomach was near crippling, as she sat on a chair, unable to do much beyond point out targets.

Still, in focusing the fire of the few archers that Sergeant Verynna had allowed her, the tide of the battle was slowly shifting, from overwhelming to a manageable force. While the undead hammered upon the gates, the amount of magic in the air was near caustic to the Huntress, and forced a relapse of illness. She sipped at water, hoping to keep it down, but already a bucket sat nearby where she had purged the contents of her stomach.

Her bow lay against the wall beside her, forcing her to rest against it, and use it as a crude leaning stick. Her master would have thoroughly kicked her ass if he had seen her now. Closing her eyes she felt the nausea once more, rolling upon her in waves before she leaned over the bucket and retched, nothing coming out anymore. Her stomach muscles burned with the exertion, while nothing left her mouth.

The other guards merely looked on and fired on what they had agreed were most likely necromancers. The figures wore robes and seemed to be more animated than the zombies surrounding them, and so they had been killed, for if they weren't the necromancers of the army, surely they were the commanding officers. Drusilia had no time to confirm the targets, as she had watched these sessions of nausea come in faster waves.

Still she clutched her stone and forced her will into it desperately. It briefly glowed, before dying down once more, not charged yet. She needed to wait just a bit longer, and it would discharge and allow her the freedom to act, even if for a moment. Mumbling softly to herself she whispered in drow, “Xund, lu' ori'gato uns'aa g'jahall udossta muan...”

[Godhand]

The pillar of stone that stood where it seemed the dwarf was only moments ago exploded as Godhand hurled himself through it. The mercenary swept his arms in front of him, violently attempting to scatter the plume of dust that sprung up when he shattered the decoy. He narrowed his eyes in an attempt to lessen the sting he was feeling in them without compromising his sight. He noticed a silhouette shift to the left of him and immediately lurched forward and drilled it with a huge right hand. The body was fired into the ground as if launched by a cannon, and Godhand stood over the small crater he'd made with his sheath at the ready to drain the magic sustaining one of the last members of the Necrosition.

But as the dust cleared, he saw that it was merely one of the Necromancers supporting the siege force. He whirled around instantly once he heard a dwarf's harsh laugh, just in time to see a spire of jagged rock shoot up from the ground beneath him in what was doubtless an attempt to pierce his heart.

But the spire froze just inches away from it's intended target. There was an unsure pause, and Godhand thought he heard the geomancer mutter something. He could see him clearly now; the dust had cleared. He was a strange mutt, sharing traits of both the dwarf and the drow. His dark skin turned an angry red at the palms of his hands, only a few shades lighter than his beard. He shook off the surprise of his failed attack and steadied himself, drawing both of his fists close to his shoulders. Suddenly, two walls of stone sprang up on either side of Godhand. The dwarf instantly clapped his hands together in front of him and both of them were sent rushing towards each other, with the mercenary in the middle.

But again they froze just short of crushing the swordsman. Godhand looked at both of them, smirked and decimated one of the structures with a casual punch. The Dweller in the Dark took a step back, seeming unsure of himself. Godhand sensed weakness and immediately charged, but the dwarf hopped backwards and clasped his fingers together. Immediately the ground under the mercenary turned into a muddy pit. Suddenly it was Godhand that was forced to attempt to maintain his balance. Grimstone pumped both fists into the air and a column of stone arose before him. He took a moment to give the swordsman a dirty look, then began punching the column before him. With each blow, a section of it fired forward like a cannonball and burst apart once it struck the mercenary. It knocked the wind out of him, but his sheath was helpless to stop the inertia of objects, magical or no, as it had done with the walls and the spire.

Two more chunks of rock struck him and Godhand was sure he'd cracked a rib. He punched the following stones right out of the air, but he knew he wouldn't be able to keep that up forever. Furthermore, he needed to destroy the geomancer before the Necromancers could regroup and set their zombies upon him. In that muddy pit he'd be easy pickings for even the most wretched of the creatures.

[Mage Hunter]

The Huntress looked morbidly at the stone in her hands. She had been holding it for a few minutes now and desperately was forcing her will upon the stone. Her instructors had said she could have used it twice before sleeping, and yet here she could see it was having troubles. Her head ached, pounding from the focused effort in trying to activate the stone over an over.

"You look like you folks could use help..." The voice caused the Drow's head to snap up a snarl on her lips. Before her was a cloaked figure who she recognized from the one in the Bazaar earlier. Moving to stand a hand went to the hilt of her sword, even as Sergeant Verynna moved to engage the hooded figure. A hand moved and rested firmly on the sergeant's shoulders before he spoke once more, "Are you really going to waste time locking me up during a siege? I didn't know you folks were doing that well..."

"This is a restricted Area, leave now or-" The sergeant was cut off, before with a casual sweep of his hand he hit the Sergeant right at the base of her neck. She collapsed to the floor and twitched softly, even as the man stepped forward towards the Drow. Sword drawn she staggered from the fatigue she felt in her muscles, even as Mana Burn sapped what little strength she did have.

"Rath harl xor Usstan orn elgg dos!" Drusilia spat, moving between the cloaked man, and the Archers.

"P'luin suxxizz dos xuil Mana Flamgra, nindol zhah lu'oh dos telanth vendui? Ol kluthak Valsharess kat ulu kyorl plez ulu detholar yutrin vel'drav il detholus lu'oh ulu kyuvr ilta silinrai. Nau selg'tarn, dos gumash naut kl'ae nindel lu' jivviim uns'aa ka dos ssinssrinil ulu. Dos ph' bauth ulu quorin dosstan wun Mana, lu' vel'drav nindel sha'nalten, jal nindel Mana, orn flamgra dosst wu'suulen lu' shar'tleg dos wund natha zombie. Usstan guu'lac l' loktriamen ghil orn ssinssrin ulu zexen'uma bauth xuil dos, ha'ishe tluin elghinyrr 'udtila naut ol?" The man said firmly. He then slapped the girl on the wrist, and immediately Drusillia lost control of her weapon, it clattering to the floor.

"Don't you ever disgrace our language with your tongue again...human."

"Good, I hate speaking your language but if that's the only way I'm going to get you to admit you're over your head here, far be it from me to say otherwise," The man replied. The other guards had drawn swords and were prepared to defend the wall from the strange human that had made its way upon the parapets. The newcomer then reached forward and plucked the stone from the girl. Looking it over he snorted softly before it glowed brightly and discharged the anti-magic stored within. Immediately Drusilia felt better and looked at the man her eyes narrowing.

"What did you do to fix it?" A gesture from the Drow who had been helping them at least made them stand around. They seemed unsure if they should attack or just go back to firing desperately.

"Me? I did nothing, I just proved my point. You don't even have enough willpower left to activate your stone. How do you expect to fight the zombies out there like this? You need to let that Mana go now!"

The hooded man tossed the stone to the newly recovered Drow, who caught it with a deft snatch. She then growled lowly, "How do I do that?"

An eyebrow shot off the newcomer's face before he spoke, "So you acted like a Magical Lightening Rod, without any way to dispel the Mana? You're screwed girl, it takes at least a day, and Baruk already discharged his stone at the gate to give the guards a chance."

She immediately pointed out at the approaching army before she said, "One of my companions is out there fighting even now with trouble. They have mages rushing from the front lines after him. I need to protect him, how do I do that?"

"You can't do shit, sit down and eat your humble pie sweetie. If you want Godhand Striker to get his Liche, you're going to have to trust me," The man pulled an arrow from one of the stands near the wall twirling it artistically in his fingers. Drusilia seemed at a loss as she opened her more and tried to say something before she closed it again. She literally had no idea how to respond to someone who seemed not the least bit cowed by her anger.

She found her voice when he reached for her bow, pulling it back she snapped, "Leave my bow alone, if you need one so badly get one of the guards..."

"I can't, standard Elf a procedure is to enchant the bows with a range spell, so they can possibly hit farther than normal. Yours doesn't have any magic on it, so I can safely fire it without losing my lunch, and a damn good one at that," He then ripped the bow from her hand and nocked the arrow searching the battle field.

"What are you-"

"For my next trick, I require absolute quiet from the audience!" The man replied, before he narrowed his eyes. The arrow in the bow began to glow a brilliant white, so suffused with the antithesis of magic it had become. Immediately the arrow fired, sending a shock wave of the force through the field of battle. Where the arrow passed over, zombies feel and necromancers found their spells weakened. Soon the arrow sunk into the ground, near the crater Godhand had sunk himself in.

"What was that?" Drusilia said, a sense of respect coming into her voice.

"That won't last long, but it'll give him a chance. It might stop one or two spells tops before it can't anymore..." He replied. A smile spread across his face. He tossed the bow at the Drow before he said firmly, "You don't go anywhere, I'm going to yank Baruk's ass up here so he can try to rip the Mana out of you. If you run, I will hunt your ass down and I will tie you down. Though, given the tough girl attitude you're pushing, you might enjoy that too much."

The Drow couldn't even argue before the man was off, rushing down the stairs to the city below.

[Godhand]

There seemed to be a limit to how much stone the geomancer could draw up from a particular point in the ground, as the flurry of projectiles pelting the mercenary steadily waned. This allowed Godhand to get his bearings even as the attacks suddenly stopped altogether, much to the consternation of his diminutive assailant. The mercenary smiled and dug his heels into the muddy ground before leaping a couple of dozen feet into the air and stretching his body out, aiming to frog-splash the dwarf. But Killian regained his composure faster than the swordsman could fall, and quickly threw a roundhouse punch into the air. Responding to his movements, a huge column of stone arched out from the ground and into the mobster's flight path. Godhand had held out both arms and legs to maximize the point of impact with the geomancer, and this compounded the injuries he sustained as he flew through the stone arch abdomen first.

The impact knocked the wind out of him and he didn't even have the presence of mind to roll as he hit the ground. The mercenary sucked in air and held his limbs close to his center, trying to deaden the pain of the blow. All the while the Necrosition's dwarf approached him, finally breaking into a run as Godhand got to his knees and nailing the wounded swordsman with a full-body clothesline. Normally he wouldn't have thought the stocky fighter capable of doing him any harm without using his magic. But the earlier hit combined with the fact that the geomancer threw his entire body into the attack actually managed to knock the mercenary back down. Godhand began to crawl away from ground zero of his freefall, but seeing the killer weakened served to entice the dwarf to attack further, now that he found himself in the rare position of physical superiority over his opponent. Short-man syndrome at it's most vicious.

Godhand vaguely noticed that his sheath had come loose sometime after he fell through the stone arch, but he simply couldn't afford to go looking for it at the moment. Grimstone was firing blow after blow into Godhand's head, usually nailing him in the temple or jaw. The attacks weren't really painful; they only truly served to disorient him, but the dwarf didn't seem to realize Godhand was vulnerable to magic without his sheath and was relying on what strength his fists had instead of burying the mercenary under a mountain of rubble.

Finally, the mobster had had enough. He clenched his fist in the ground as Killian reared back, then suddenly threw a fistful of dirt into his opponent's eyes. The dwarf fell backwards, blinded, and Godhand took a small amount of pleasure knowing that he'd incapacitated the geomancer with his favored element. As Grimstone futilely tried to claw the dirt out of his eyes, Godhand got to his feet and measured the dwarf up. He licked his lips and dug in his heels as the dwarf crawled away, waiting for just the right time before he rushing forward and destroying Killian with a punt to the head.

The kick nearly decapitated the dwarf and completely obliterated his face. He gave a loud moan and Godhand watched him trying to hold his nose and jaw and eyeballs up, the wretched bastard refusing to believe that they'd all been shredded to pieces. Godhand knew he was doomed when he realized the pathetic sight didn't bother him. It bothered him that it didn't bother him. Now that Killian was basically neutralized, he was free to find his sheath at his leisure. He found it near ground zero, and calmly walked back over to Grimstone. The geomancer must have felt the vibrations in the earth, because even without eyes he began to whimper and throw up shoddy walls between himself and the mercenary. Godhand knocked them down like they were made of clay. Finally, he cornered the dwarf against the walls of Anebrilith and before he could manage to groan out some plea for his life from his decimated jaw, Godhand plunged the sheath into his chest.

It was just like the other times. The enchanted scabbard greedily consumed all the magic power sustaining the geomancer's soul, until all that was left hunched against the wall was a useless husk. The swordsman pulled the sheath out with a crisp snap and took a look around, surveying the now leaderless zombies around him. They ended up like he'd expected.

Sightless, aimless, mindless.

The siege was over.

[Mage Hunter]

Drusilia sat in the chair for gods knew how long as the waves of magic assaulting the city ruined her temporary bout of good health. Immediately she was back to clutching her head, as her world felt like it was about to explode, taking her brains and skull with it. She was in trouble she knew that much, but how much was another story.

"Here she is."

The huntress felt her head snap up at the sound of the mysterious human's voice. A groan left her lips as he saw a human and a dwarf rushing towards her. The man put a bracing hand on her shoulder, to keep her from getting up as the dwarf moved forward. Her eyes while unfocused hadn't lost their discipline, as she fought to see the dwarf clearly through the fog. She may have been sick, but she still retained some semblance of a warrior’s pride.

"I knew those idiots in Ettermire couldn't train their hunters properly. Soon as they caught Mardin I knew this was gonna happen. They would train people in something they dinnae understand, and get their hunters killed for fun when thay didn't know how ta fix their problems," The dwarf muttered as a cold hand pressed against her forehead. A low whistle left his beard before he muttered, "The lass doesn't have much time before she anchors to tha mana flow in the area."

"Best case scenario?" The human asked.

"Zombie, though with the amount of necromantic energy in her we'd be lucky if tha's tha least she becomes. We might be looking at the next Warson if we aren't careful..."

"Can you do it?"

The dwarf let out a chuckle before he spoke, "Lad, I've been doing this since it began, I doubt you'd fathom how fast I could pluck the mana from her. She'll be fine, but first a trade..."

Drusilia's head swam as these men were talking about things she had no idea of. First this Mardin fellow being the beginning of the Mage Hunter project, which had produced Drusilia. Second was the fact that they had done so without fully understanding what they were doing. It was hard to imagine her queen using such experimental techniques on her soldiers. Not the Queen Valsharess that she knew. As she pondered all this she felt a harsh slap across her face and hissed, "Ele xunus dos xun nindel?"

"Listen lass I have nae time, nor patience. I need yer promise when you're done chasing liches tha you're gonna to head fer Corone, and I'm not taking no fer an answer. If you say no, I'll just hack you open with me axe and toss you over the rampart, save us all the trouble of watching ya die."

She felt perhaps this was the best deal she had heard all day. With a sigh and a nod she assented. Immediately the Dwarf grabbed her by the front of her armor and forced her hunched over. Another hand held firmly to neck before the sound of stone upon metal was heard. The drow tried to struggle only to stop when she felt the human male's hands force her back down, he was practically balancing atop her with his efforts to pin her down.

Soon she felt a prick against her shoulder, before it became a rush of pain. She inhaled sharply before she relaxed, forcing her body not to tense up and increase the pain. Immediately she heard the dwarf's appreciative tone, "That's right lass, relax, let it dissolve and work through ya..."

When she looked at her shoulder she saw the handle of a dagger sticking out from it. While she could feel the pain of its blade in her shoulder she also felt a soothing relief as the materials on it went to work. Finally able to sit up she noticed her right arm was a bit sluggish in reacting. Looking at the dwarf she frowned.

"Magebane, it’s a special material made from the forces of anti-magic. Mages are born, not made, though there are a few exceptions. They have mana flowing through their bloodstream and they harness this mana to produce their spells. ‘at's why it seems ta tire them out when they cast their stupid fireballs or try to charm a lass with a quick suggestion spell. Or perhaps even some stupidity that I can’t even begin to fathom. If that blade dissolves completely in the bloodstream, it removes all traces of mana from the victim. Essentially removing them from the winds of magic..."

"Or in my case..." Drusilia began looking at the dwarf she vaguely remembered was called Baruk.

"Removing the mana you stored up. I wouldn't recommend draining mana till you learn what to do with it once you have it. Though I've seen the hunters that Ettermire put out do some pretty stupid things before. At least you're more of a mid level stupid," The human replied a soft chuckle on his lips.

"Somehow I remain unflattered," Drusilia retorted.

"Well Lass, its yer own damn fault. Yer the one who pulled all that mana with no way to release it or destroy it..."

Drusilia chuckled as she shook her head before she said firmly, "I have a feeling I'm going to be hearing how stupid I am for some time to come..."

"Depends on how quick you catch up to the rest of the class. Just keep that in there, when the hilt drops out, you should be good to go, have one of these ninnies bandage you up and you'll be good to go for the next Liche, though I wouldn't let Godhand know what happened, say you got hit or something..."

"Knowing that man, he won't ask questions. I think he wants to be rid of me. Though I have one question, can I have one of those blades?”

“Lass that blade is fer fully trained hunters, not a toy for a child like you.”

Spoils;

Drusilia is no longer sick from the magic she absorbed from Warson. Also she loses 200 gold and gains the Arctic Hide leather armor she is currently wearing, made for a woman.

[Godhand]

Godhand took his time going back into the city proper. He was wounded, but felt strong. Maybe it was all the stares he felt drilling into him from the ramparts, but he was starting to feel really good about himself and his situation. Occasionally a zombie with a little more sense than the rest tried to lunge at the mercenary, but he always countered with a kick or a punch that sent them flying off into the writhing mass of undead like a pinball. He didn't know what it was, but killing Grimstone had really improved his mood. A weight was off his shoulders as though he'd completed his mission, although he knew he still had two more of the Necromancer's generals to go before he could make a dead run back to Corone and into the nearest hotel to wash the stink of death off his body. Tall order, though. He could practically feel the stench crawling under his skin, like bits of undead flesh beneath his fingernails. It was starting to drive him nuts.

But not right now. Right now he felt tall. The large gates to town opened slowly for him, almost reverently, so much so that he almost expected to see a full parade in his honor waiting for him at the other side.

No parade, but sergeant Verryna was waiting for him. There was love, true love in her eyes. And admiration. He didn't think anyone had ever looked at him like that. It nearly knocked him on his ass, getting in from such a hard fight. The commander ran forward and hugged him, and he knew what a gesture that was coming from someone that had to avoid even the shadow of feminity because of her position. He would have enjoyed it more if his ribs hadn't been busted, though. He tensed up and tried not to show her how much pain he was actually in. It might shatter her illusion of the invincible hero emerging unscathed and victorious from the fog of war. But, as he had already realized, he was not Devon the Starslayer. He screamed when he got burned.

But by God did that woman ever smell good. It was with a small sense of personal loss when she finally retreated from him and looked him in the eyes again. He knew right then that he couldn't do what she was asking of him. He couldn't abandon his life and his mission to sit here fighting off zombies with her, whatever it meant.

"As you feed us, won't you lead us."

"What?"

Godhand shook his head.

"Nothing. I'm sorry, sergeant. But I have to go now."

Godhand hefted himself into the back of his cart with as much poise and grace as he could, under the circumstances. The mage hunter was along shortly, and the mercenary was curt.

"Get us the hell out of here."

Spoils: Godhand's sheath has absorbed the soul of Killian Grimstone.

[Lord Anglekos]

Fourth Target: The Dweller in the Dark
I enjoyed reading this thread, despite not reading the others in your series. Guess you could say I read it with virgin eyes. Well, I'll make this a light-commented judgment, as you said it was up to me. If you got any questions or want a further explanation as to why I said or graded something so, you can reach me via PM or AIM at blackdecadence19. Now, onto the judging. I'm going to assume that all bunnying was approved and discussed beforehand.

STORY (20/30)

Continuity: 7
You both gave me a general idea as to why you were there throughout the thread, but no real mention of where you were going and where you were from. Still, it fit and flowed nicely, and I felt rather as if I'd opened up a book to a random chapter and started reading from there. It wasn't annoying, and I felt no real need to go back and reread your profiles or back threads to understand what was happening, so despite the lack of real explanations I gave you a pretty high score.

Setting: 6.5
While I was given a time and place as to where this was happening, I didn't get a very good image or sense in my head as to how your characters were involved within it. Yes, you both described it and interacted well with it at times, but at others I felt as if you were walking along a painted canvas, trying not to rip it. Scenes such as Godhand breaking through the lines of the undead, only to be piled upon by heaps of them and then exploding out from under were fun to read because of the imagery I was given, and Godhand's fight with the Dweller was also fun to read moreso from the geomancer's interaction with the ground and Godhand's using the earth itself as a weapon. Mage Hunter, most of your writing was rather how the setting affected your character, rather how your character affected the setting. While not a bad way, per se', to write, it was weird having to switch from that style to Godhand's each time.

Pacing: 6.5
I don't have much to say on this; the pacing was pretty much fine in the beginning, with them coming into and exploring the city, and even unto the battle with the army attacking. A little rushed at times, but otherwise fine. At the very end, however, it just cut off with no real direction, no further explanations as to where your next intent was or who you were going after next; a cliffhanger ending in a sense, which I really hate.

CHARACTER: (23.5/30)

Dialogue: 8.5
There's not much to say here either. I loved reading it, although there were a couple points where I felt that it wasn't exactly appropriate to the characters speaking it. For example, I felt the Sergeant would've been rougher, sharper, despite Godhand's prowess. But otherwise it was completely fine, and spots like where Godhand and Drusilla were bantering pushed the story along and made it engaging to read. An extra half point for the Dwarf's speaking at the end, Mage Hunter; you wrote it so anyone could obviously tell that he had an accent, but not so it wasn't able to be read.

Action: 8
The action was fast and it was hard. Neither over-explained the fight scenes, which was nice, but provided enough detail to give me a clear image in my head as to what was happening. While it wasn't perfect, mind you, it was impressive. I was bothered, though, by Godhand's apparent transition from rampaging bull in post 20--as he "snapped", and "GORE, GORE, GORE"-- back to his normal self in post 22. I was left wondering what happened in between, really, but the fight with the dwarf soon distracted me from that, so I suppose it's not that big of a deal. Out of battle, your actions fit right with your characters, there was no real problem there. I liked the mental framework behind them as well.

Persona: 7
Most of the time I got a clear idea as to your character's personas, but sometimes it seemed there was alot of meshing going on. There were distinct moments, for example, where I got a clear shot of your character's persona through his/her interactions with others, and at other times they seemed to be almost exactly the same. Be careful there that you don't make your characters too similar. But the times where the personas stood out, they stood out clear and easy to recognize.

WRITING STYLE: (19.5/30)

Mechanics: 7
There were a couple points where your sentances ran on too long or you mispelled something (made instead of mad, for example on Godhand's case). Also, Mage Hunter, you tend to use commas where you should semicolons or periods, especially in dialogue. This gives the appearance that the character is speaking on and on without any real pause or breath. But nothing that a good thorough read-over can cure.

Technique: 8
Your writing was mostly solid and easy to read; eloquence where needed, and nothing that left me scratching my head and saying "Hunh?". It's obvious you're both comfortable in your styles, so I have nothing else to say here. It wasn't perfect, but it was solid and well done.

Clarity: 4.5
The biggest dip in this score was the issues I stated in Continuity. When you introduced characters like the mysterious man in the Bazaar or past issues as the sickness from the Mana Burn, most readers would be left confused as to just what the hell what was going on. Having more explanations would've helped, although you cleared some things up near the end with the Dwarven master and conversation with the Sergeant. Godhand, I never really understood though how your character knew that Drusilla was in the prison. I read through, but there was no mention of it to his character that I knew of. Did he figure it out on his own, or just assume so, or...? In any case, that hurt your score.

WILD CARD: 7

Final Score: 70/100. Good job.

Godhand gets 6800 EXP and 600 GP.
Mage Hunter gets 1800 EXP and 100 GP (300 minus the 200 deducted, as requested).
All spoils granted.

[Taskmienster]

Exp and Gp added!

Godhand is now level 10!
Mage Hunter is now level 2!

CONGRATS!