Judgment

Note, the score only reflects the first 2000 words.

Story: 2.6/5 ((The story was simple, but it highlighted something you did perfectly. You had excellent interaction. The way you responded to one another's posts was exactly what I was trying to convey in my Battle FAQ. I would like permission to use portions of your registration to display interaction. Please PM me if that's fine.))

Character: 2.3/5 ((Relying on dialogue is an excellent way to show and develop character. That said, I feel no true or lasting connection with your characters and was not excited to read on (the exception to that being a hint by 'Hopper that he was in the tournament for a friend, which I wanted to learn more about). The characters just seemed bland. Granted, it is hard to develop characters in few words, this is something I want you to work on in the tournament proper)).

Writing Style: 2.1/5 ((Vegna, you need to change your writing a bit. You use the same pronouns and the same sentence structure over and over again. Mix it up a bit and you'll find that your writing scores increase tenfold. Mike, your writing was good until you began 'Hoppers actions. At that point, you lost the clarity you had at the beginning. I think this might be a result of the old Ayenee T1 battle mantra. You're a good storyteller, so rely on that more than trying to meticulously describe your character's actions. Avoid using run-ons so much and you can expect this number to increase. As a side note, Vegna, using names in prose is acceptable. You can only say "the strange man" in so many ways until it becomes a hassle.))

7/15 or 46.67/100