Team Registration: Body and Mind

[Christoph]

Body and Mind

Team Members: Christoph and Gesse

Characters: Jacob Rivers and Silas Gesse

Arena Exclusion: None

[Christoph]

All bunnies approved, naturally.

The bulky iron freighter cut like a blunt axe through dark churning waters. The massive, rusted vessel powered forward, defying the swirling tempest even as it battered the sails and tormented the sky above like the wrath of an angry god.

Jacob’s soft leather boots impacted the slick metal deck with a light percussive clank as he leapt from the riggings above. An extreme sensation of vertigo overtook him as his unnaturally slow descent dragged on for a long moment. His knees bent reflexively on impact and he quickly darted to the prow of the ship. The raging winds whipped against his frail frame, battering the sickly youth through his grey greatcoat.

Alert, he scanned the vacant vessel as lightning slashed phantom wounds into the sky. He could detect movement, but he knew that he was not alone. He could feel the eyes of a predator upon him. His master was close.

The jagged daggers of light flashed blindingly in all directions, gleaming from his drenched black hair and flaring hellishly in his keen green eyes. The tortured heavens showered wrath upon the ship as growling thunder rumbled overhead and frigid rain pelted the student’s face like stones.

‘Training,’ his sensei, Master Silas Gesse had called it. Typical of the old man, thought Jacob. In one breath he would preach caution and concern over the ill Psion and martial art student’s safety and health, and in the next he would order a ‘training’ session on an abandoned ship in the middle of a storm.

And what a storm… Never before had he witnessed one so potent! The rush from the shear power, the blinding lightning, the ghastly wail of violent winds, and the endless wall of rain, invigorated him, making him feel alive and allowing him to forget for that moment that illness would soon claim his life. He could easily come to covet such a sensation.

Determined to prove himself, Jacob released his mind, pulsing his psychic power through his physical senses and expanding his awareness. The cacophonous din of the tempest seemed to fade into silence. His perception reached out across the immense entirety of the ship. And there it was! He sensed a heartbeat and a second pair of lungs breathing the saturated air over thirty meters before him.

“Is this one of those ‘when crouching to strike, the tiger is most vulnerable’ lessons, Master?” he called ironically though the swirling gusts of icy rain as he strode purposefully forward.

[Gesse]

A foot emerged out of the darkness to impede Jacob's ambling gait as he strode confidently by an empty cargo container. The foot managed to plant itself squarely in the middle of the young man's stride, tripping him easily and sending him sprawling onto the wet deck with a yelp of surprise. Jacob rolled over immediately, positioning himself on his back and instinctively readying himself to fend off an attacker. Arms folded neatly behind him, Silas Gesse stepped out from the container's shadow into the low light of the stormy afternoon...

"The lesson, Jacob," Silas began, offering a hand out to help his fallen student rise, "is actually, 'The arrogant hunter is most vulnerable.'" Jacob was glaring at him again, and Silas could feel the young psion's energy raging behind those eyes. His student was almost three decades his junior; still full of the youthful fire that made him quick and brash. "You were using your gift again, weren't you?"

"I thought it would give me an edge." Jacob accepted the offered help and Silas pulled his student to his feet. "I thought I could sense you."

"Well, obviously you're still having trouble distinguishing between me and anything else that might be lurking on this wreck." Silas began. He had Jacob fixed with a knowing look. "A couple years ago you wouldn't have even considered using your powers during an exercise. You were more disciplined then - more astute..."

"Here we go again." Jacob rolled his eyes as the all too familiar lecture came rolling out of Silas' mouth.

"...Ever sense you started developing these psionic abilities of yours, you've only regressed. You're putting too much stock in these parlor tricks of yours. They are only hindering you!"

"You don't know that!" Jacob snapped back - that youthful vigor fleshing itself out in his anger. It was the same argument that had been ongoing between them for months - the older Silas wary and critical of his student's newfound (and rapidly growing) powers. He could see what effect they were taking on the young man, even if he couldn't. The psionic powers that seemed to have taken root in him were sapping at his Qi, his spiritual energy, depleting him. The muscle mass that the young man had built as a martial arts student under Silas' wing was wasting away beneath his flesh - slowly, but wasting still.

These powers will kill you! Silas wanted to scream, but he knew the words and the sentiment would be wasted...

[Christoph]

If only you knew what truly hindered me… but you mustn’t ever know.

Jacob inhaled deeply, taking in the sensations of the wind and rain as he calmed his nerves. He hated to argue with Silas, the closest person to a father figure he had, but the old man just didn’t get it! How could he? He didn’t know of his student’s illness, and it probably would have made little difference either way. Silas had enjoyed extraordinary health his entire life; he couldn’t possibly relate. He wouldn’t understand that Jacob needed his psionic powers just to balance out the effects of his hidden illness.

“Master… I…” Yet, there had always been the hope that with honesty would come understanding from his paternal sensei. He desired the liberation from deception and from the constant effort to hide his condition. But… he couldn’t stand to risk Silas then refusing to train him after learning of his student’s condition. Thus, the secret was preserved. “I’m sorry. Let’s just finish the exercise, no more psionic tricks.”

“Good,” Silas replied. “Now show me the Jacob I used to know.”

With a feral grin, the student lunged at his master without warning. He attacked with the aspect of the tiger, just as Gesse had taught him, lashing out with a flurry of carefully aimed strikes. Thought Jacob remained far more dexterous than most men, Master was always faster, able to bat aside the youth’s attacks with almost condescending ease.

The youth ducked a high strike, but caught a low one in the stomach. The hit had been light, but it felt as though a sledgehammer had struck him. Through force of will, he kept fighting without showing signs of weakness. Sidestepping another blow, Jacob powered forward and drove his forehead squarely into Gesse’s face. The student grinned with satisfaction, and was quickly punished for letting his guard down.

The sensei delivered a calculatedly forceful and blindingly swift open-palmed strike to Jacob’s diaphragm, sending the student back several steps. He slipped on the wet deck and found himself, once again, squarely on his ass.

“What… am I supposed… to be learning, Master?” he asked, climbing back to his feet. His lungs burned as he struggled to hide his shortness of breath, knowing full well that Gesse would express disapproval at Jacob’s lack of stamina.

[Gesse]

"You should be learning that fighting isn't about pride." Silas wiped a drop of blood away from under his nose to emphasize a point. "The Martial Arts are about self-preservation. They're about putting your opponent down as quickly, efficiently, and safely as possible. Only fools, sadists, and killers take pride in their small victories; don't settle for happily landing a single blow. Follow that blow with another, and don't stop until the one attacking you is either dead or unable to pose a threat."

"Aren't you breaking your rule right now, then?" Jacob replied. "I attacked you, and I'm still able to fight. I could attack you again."

"You could." Silas smirked, a rare show of emotion for him during a session with a student. "But even so, you're no longer a threat to me. I've robbed you of your breath - weakening your limbs. Right now it's taking everything you have just to stand."

Jacob's eyes fell to the wet deck of the ship, defeated. Silas knew that look - knew the stinging bite of a man's pride being trampled upon. To leave his student today with that feeling wouldn't have done either of them, or their student/teacher relationship, any good...

"But you are standing." Silas offered seriously. "A weaker man wouldn't have been able to climb to his feet without air in his lungs. You should be proud of yourself. It is a difficult thing to overcome the body and do what the mind wants - but always remember: The mind controls the body, not the other way around."

Silas relaxed his stance a little and moved to help Jacob. The poor young man looked like he was about to fall over, despite his best efforts to put up an imposing front. The student didn't bother arguing with the aid, and simply draped an arm around his Master's shoulder as the two shuffled slowly over the wet deck of the ship towards the land side. As they walked Jacob's legs grew sturdier, his body getting over the punishing open palm blow Silas had inflicted upon it.

Maybe I hit him a little too hard. Silas thought as they began getting off the ship. Highly accustomed to dealing with his own Qi, the Master had some experience with feeling the spiritual energies of others. Today Jacob's energy felt weaker than normal - and there was a slight murmur, a hiccup, in the normally vibrant rhythm of the young man's aura. He'll recover. The older man reassured himself as they departed the training ground and headed for home. A man's Qi always recovers...

[Max Dirks]

Taskmienster completed this judgment.

Judgment Time! So, this is just a skeletal rubric we will be using later on in the tournament, just so that the opening registration threads will be done quickly and proficiently. That being said, this is also a way for you to understand what is expected of the full rubric and get a good feel. If you have any questions on how things work you are free to contact me at any time for assistance. I am also going to be putting in ‘general notes’ at the end of the judgment, with a post signifier [post number] so that you can go back and look over the part that I commented. This is for your convenience only, not something that all mods will do, and is not required, but something that I like to add in for further help. Just for reference, a 2.5 out of 5 is the pure median for a score, so don't worry, it's not like... 'epic fail'-ness. Haha.

Story (2.75/5)

~This section is most notably used for how well you did. In the full rubric it will be split into three different parts: Continuity, Setting, and Pacing. Continuity is the section regarding the background of who your character is and where they came from, without a good bit of reflection on your back story it’s difficult for the reader to understand most other categories that are also being looked over. Setting is the part of the judging that is pretty much self explanatory. A good setting not only shows the reader as well as the participants of the thread were you are and what’s around, but also involves the tactical and practical use of the setting your character is interacting with. Final section of Story is the Pacing. This is the most complex of parts to analyze, normally. However, in a battle the pacing of the story is the intent of the writer to keep the reader on the edge of their seats, build the suspense well, and let it dwindle correctly.~

~Why are you on a boat, just to train? Where is the boat? Where did your characters come from? Their history, both individual and as partners, are missing as well… As for continuity we weren’t judging it too hard because of the word count, but even a little bit about what was going on and where the two are, much less how they met and what they feel about the tournament would help. Pacing was spot on though.

Character (3.2/5)

~This section is looked in regards to another three parts: Dialogue, Action, and Persona. Each of these is rather simple to explain, compared to the story section. Action is a matter of following actions and a direction that makes sense for your character. If your character is a powerhouse then his actions sulking and hiding wouldn’t make much sense, same goes for if your character is a spy or assassin, up front confrontation wouldn’t make sense either. Dialogue is self explanatory, what you say, but it is not just that simple either. Dialogue pertains to whether your character is speaking in ways that make sense. A quiet character wouldn’t talk a lot, but maybe have inner thoughts instead, a cocksure character might stop in the middle of a fight to talk a lot, or a character whose persona isn’t either probably wouldn’t pull away from conflict to give a long speech. Persona is how well you keep ‘in character’, it is not just a part controlled by what you say your character does, but how he performs actions and why he does so. This section is contributed to by dialogue, action, pacing, continuity, and to a degree setting.~

~Both of you did very well with dialogue and action, showing your persona through them. Though, outside of dialogue, there was not much to go off of as to who your characters were or why they acted the way they did. Otherwise, well done. I expect that without limitations to your thread it will be much better.

Writing Style (3.5/5)

~The final section is the compilation of the final three parts: Technique, Mechanics, and Clarity. Technique is the section that we delve into your personal style of writing, in regards to ‘advanced’ styles of writing. The use of alliteration, foreshadowing, and metaphors or similes are going to heighten this score. Of course, stylistic uses of technique that go against proper grammar are also goo ways to use Technique, and will not be counted against you in the next section. Mechanics is the grammatically correct part of the judgment. How many mistakes you made with spelling, punctuation, and other mistakes is how this section is scored. Clarity is by far the most simple to judge. Were all the other sections clear? Was the way you told the story clear? Was your writing clear? That is what the entire section of clarity is about~

~Both of you wrote very clearly, and without too many issues. The only thing that was missing was more advanced techniques. I saw a few in Christoph’s opening posts, but after that they were pretty much forgotten. Keep up the advanced technique side of things and you shouldn’t have any worries later in rounds.

Total: (9.45/15)