Continuity 6.5

Setting 7

Pacing 6

All the fighting too me from the edge of my seat, off of it, onto the floor, where I looked up and saw more fighting and decided to just stay on the ground and take a break. There is a lot to say about pacing when the thread is so full of fighting, especially in the first two pages. It was good, but then it seemed to continue on and on, never ending fighting doesn’t really make me as a reader get drawn in anymore… just makes me want to take long breaks.

Dialogue 6.5

Some of the dialogue, as long as it was with the characters that you were all familiar with, was really well done. But some of the NPC’s that were created were, just uninspiring through dialogue and persona. Dialogue took the hit just a little more than persona, because you can show persona through actions, reactions, and general narrative. Dialogue, it’s hard to do that with. Things like writing “Teehee” constantly instead of describing the laugh or just saying that the person laughed made me bored with reading the laughter again and again.

Action 7

There was almost too much of it. It was well done, but there was sooooo much fighting that sometimes it was off, other times it was really good.

Persona 7

Technique 7

Mechanics 8

Clarity 6

Wild Card 7

Score:

68!

Rewards:

Flames [47 posts]: 4760 base exp * 2 for FQ = 9520 exp | 1278 base gp * 2 = 2556 gold

Kyros [13 posts]: 1213 base exp * 2 for FQ = 2426 exp | 353 base gp * 2 = 707 gold

Wings [23 posts]: 1095 base * 2 for FQ = 2190 exp | 625 base gp * 2 = 1251 gold

((Didn’t see anything asked for in regards to rewards, so just PM me if you wanted something but it wasn’t specified or I missed it…))