Christoph's Manor of Music -- Challenge #3

[Christoph]

Welcome back to Christoph’s Manor of Music, home to the only musical contest on Althanas! For those who don't already know, the object of this challenge is to channel the tone, mood, and style of music into your writing. The rules are simple. I provide a link to a particular piece of music and you write a short scene or excerpt that you believe truly captures the essence of the song.

This challenge is a bit different, both in the style and the guidelines. Where the last two songs were serious and epic, this challenge is designed to be something far lighter and more amusing. Using this song as a point of reference, write the most hilarious circus or carnival related death that you can imagine. This time, the word limit is set at 800 words. You have until March 10th to post your entries.

Good luck!

[Lightfoot]

((I figured, why not, since no one else has entered. I understand if you want to keep to the strict date.))

"Tonight, ladies and gents, we have a special performance in mind!" Sally could hear the ringleader's voice echo throughout the stadium. It made her want to vomit. In a few moments she'd have to walk out and perform with a big smile. And every time she walked out on that stage she thought of how she wanted to die.

"So keep your pants on for...Sassifrass Sally! The Multi-Tasking Clown!!" The crowd's uproarious applause filled Sally's ears and she donned her fake smile. She ran out to the sound of trumpets and whistles, drums and laughter. In one hand she held three swords. In the other, a taming whip.

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP! She lead Fred the Elephant around while she juggled the swords and watched for her next addition. High in the air a trapese artist flipped and flew like a graceful bird, spinning and twirling. The high-flying artist threw a hoola hoop down at her, which she managed to catch and begin twirling around her neck.

Now came her most hated part. She could feel Jasper sneaking up on her, pie in hand. It's the same routine every performance...but something had inspired her.

Fuck this! she thought. She wasn't letting Jasper cream her face, again! She caught the swords in her hands and turned on the pie wielding clown. She wore a wicked grin, a true grin, and she reveled in the horror on Jasper's face. He tried to run, but Sally was quicker. She threw a sword at him and it stuck in his chest. Other performers tried to run out and restrain her as she set her elephant loose on the unsuspecting crowds.

The fire-breather came at her, blowing great balls of fire that would make Little Richard proud. Sally ducked underneath one, but she set the hoola hoop that was around her neck on fire and threw it at the man. She laughed as the flaming man ran away screaming. She killed two more -- the ringleader and one of those freaky mimes -- with her swords, and started for her elephant.

After mounting the great beast like a warhorse she trampled over hobo clowns and innocent bystanders alike, laughing while she did. Off in the distance she could she the flaming fire-breather catch parts of the stadium on fire. She raised her arms high into the air and gave a hearty laugh. And as the stadium came down around her, mounted on her great beast, Fred the Elephant, she squashed another clown.

Sassifrass Sally, the Mutlitasking Clown, had spent her days thinking of how she wanted to die and she had finally come to a conclusion: she'd die smiling...after killing a shitload of people.