Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst ... 234
Results 31 to 33 of 33

Thread: The Three Ouellets

  1. #31
    ברוך אתה אדוני אלוהינו
    EXP: 9,299, Level: 4
    Level completed: 6%, EXP required for next level: 4,701
    Level completed: 6%,
    EXP required for next level: 4,701
    GP
    616
    Zook Murnig's Avatar

    Name
    Alma Waterstone
    Age
    25
    Race
    Human (Q'Doshi Sinai)
    Gender
    Female
    Hair Color
    Black
    Eye Color
    Russet
    Build
    5'4" / 129 lb.
    Job
    Witch

    View Profile
    Quest Judging

    The Three Ouellets

    STORY ~ 22/30

    Continuity ~ 8/10 While I did not get information about what the Villeneuve family had been up to prior to the events of this thread, they were introduced in such a way that it was completely unnecessary. Quite a feat, I must say. As well with Lillian. Further, the plot of the story held together nicely, and the backstory stands up to scrutiny quite well.
    Setting ~ 7/10 While there was little actual description of the setting, in detail, there was sufficient for my mind to fill in the blanks and build scenes of the library, the café, and other places. As well, you made off-hand mention of specific features of scenery, and when action sequences took place, you reinforced those features through use, both advantageously and disadvantageously for your characters.
    Pacing ~ 7/10 Started slow, but once it got going, the only reason I'd put it down was when my own life encroached. Wonderful. Toward the end of the climactic fight, however, it seemed to drag as you tried to extend that climax. Still, that was made up for by the fact that you didn't end there, but finished "one week later," when the backstory was confirmed (as almost exactly, except for specific details, what I had gathered throughout the thread). Finally, one thing that I always advocate is the need for collaboration between writers, and you two went above and beyond with that. I actually had to check each post to see who officially posted it.

    CHARACTER ~ 23/30

    Dialogue ~ 8/10 A little cliché at times, particularly with Ludivine, but otherwise great. And the dialogue for Ludivine can be chalked up to the archetypal nature of the character (see Persona). Otherwise, the speaking habits and patterns of the characters fit, to a T.
    Action ~ 7/10 As I said in Pacing, the climax seemed to drag a bit, but I absolutely loved the fight at the café, particularly when Lillian finally jumped into action, and the titular Three Ouellets got their act together. This, as well as the minor details as the story progressed, and your use of Setting (see Setting), add up to a great score in this category.
    Persona ~ 8/10 Within the first few posts I knew all the main characters as well as if I'd been reading story after story about them, and wanted to learn more and more about them. And I did! A lot of people have a hard time providing enough for this category when they have multiple characters, and others tend to do better when they're not focused on a single person. It looks like you've found your niches, respectively.

    WRITING STYLE ~ 26/30

    Technique ~ 8/10 You are both strong here. I'm accustomed to Ataraxis' style, but not to The International's. However, it was such that I was quick to find myself enjoying it. The aforementioned lag (see Pacing and Action) was in part due to ups and downs of technique. Your styles, as well, mixed well (again, see Pacing).
    Mechanics ~ 9/10 Very few mistakes. You took grammatical risks, and they paid off. A couple of spelling errors were made, but only a couple.
    Clarity ~ 9/10 Everything was clear, or became clear after a while. Not really much to say on that.

    MISCELLANEOUS

    Wild Card ~ 10/10 Highly enjoyable, and bonus points for extensive use of canon, including creative and imaginative expansion upon hinted canon.

    TOTAL ~ 81

    The International gains 1410 EXP (no gold, as requested, turned to EXP)
    Ataraxis gains 5010 EXP and 352 GP

    All requested spoils granted. The diamonds, however, cannot be sold, either by you or anyone to whom they are bestowed.

    If you have any questions about the judgment or how you can improve, PM me or send me a message on AIM, screen name SuperSonicMatt1.
    Current Threads
    Clean and Clear (Solo)

    Recently Finished Threads
    Through Forge and Flame (Solo, 77)
    The Rubric: Remeberin Garthabel (1)
    The Memory Man (Closed to Ataraxis, Twylith, and Chucklecut, 68)
    The Fated Embrace (Closed to Vortimo, NSFW, 51)

  2. #32
    ברוך אתה אדוני אלוהינו
    EXP: 9,299, Level: 4
    Level completed: 6%, EXP required for next level: 4,701
    Level completed: 6%,
    EXP required for next level: 4,701
    GP
    616
    Zook Murnig's Avatar

    Name
    Alma Waterstone
    Age
    25
    Race
    Human (Q'Doshi Sinai)
    Gender
    Female
    Hair Color
    Black
    Eye Color
    Russet
    Build
    5'4" / 129 lb.
    Job
    Witch

    View Profile
    EXP and GP added!

    The International leveled up!

    Move pending Judges' Choice decision.
    Current Threads
    Clean and Clear (Solo)

    Recently Finished Threads
    Through Forge and Flame (Solo, 77)
    The Rubric: Remeberin Garthabel (1)
    The Memory Man (Closed to Ataraxis, Twylith, and Chucklecut, 68)
    The Fated Embrace (Closed to Vortimo, NSFW, 51)

  3. #33
    ברוך אתה אדוני אלוהינו
    EXP: 9,299, Level: 4
    Level completed: 6%, EXP required for next level: 4,701
    Level completed: 6%,
    EXP required for next level: 4,701
    GP
    616
    Zook Murnig's Avatar

    Name
    Alma Waterstone
    Age
    25
    Race
    Human (Q'Doshi Sinai)
    Gender
    Female
    Hair Color
    Black
    Eye Color
    Russet
    Build
    5'4" / 129 lb.
    Job
    Witch

    View Profile
    This thread is officially a Judges' Choice. Congratulations Ataraxis and The International!
    Current Threads
    Clean and Clear (Solo)

    Recently Finished Threads
    Through Forge and Flame (Solo, 77)
    The Rubric: Remeberin Garthabel (1)
    The Memory Man (Closed to Ataraxis, Twylith, and Chucklecut, 68)
    The Fated Embrace (Closed to Vortimo, NSFW, 51)

Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst ... 234

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •