The Red Requiem in Cresting Summer

[Caden Law]

Zundalon the Cantor died in his bed at sundown on the Day of Mourning Stars, three days into the Month of Elder Wisdoms. His true passing went unmarked in the Year of Retribution Dawning, and no history book would ever record his last words to the ages. Caden himself did not write them down.

"That which is dead can eternal lie,
"For with merciful aeons,
"Even Death can die."

The Cantor smiled when he said it, smiled when he died, and kept smiling as Caden burned his phylactery and cleansed his resurrection pool. Piece by piece, with only the corpse as a witness, the Sorcerer destroyed the last surviving Durklan and wiped him clean out of this world. He brought the roof down on the chamber, slowly but inevitably, and then he scourged the walls of the passage clean on his way to the surface. When he was done, he slammed the while thing shut and obliterated it all, compacting the earth down into a crater within a crater, packing it so tight that it would hold shape, and a small lake might form with a few centuries of rainfall or dumb luck.

He didn't mark Xem'zund's gravesite. He didn't really do anything other than to stand watch for an hour, Hat off, skin alight with lingering Sorcerous power, head bowed with an eerie, disquieting sense of respect.

Then he put on his Hat, changed to his glasses, and started looking for a way out. Hopefully the Skinwalker was busy somewhere else.

[Caden Law]

If you are reading this, then it means I made it out of Lindequalmë and probably died at a much later date. Presumably after bedding nine wenches. At once. In all honesty, there's a very good chance I died of heart failure.

But that's beside the point.

The job is done. Xem'zund is now truly dead and gone. His Death Lords have been brought to heel, and if any are even left, it would really surprise me. The last two I saw were slaughtered by a creature called the Skinwalker, along with maybe half a dozen demigods and...yeah.

It's a long story that I don't think I'll ever be able to fully write down, just as I doubt that anyone will ever be able to fully make sense of the Red Forest. There is a curse active there, but after so many centuries I think it's been twisted right into the fabric of the environment. It's a work of such complexity that someone else could spend a lifetime studying it. Definately the kind of long-term magic a Forgotten One would throw around.

And I suppose it's fair to say, the kind of magic I'll be able to throw around someday. I spent a lot of time with Xem'zund when he passed. We talked. I know things about the true history of the world I'll be puzzling over for years. I

Caden stopped writing. He was sitting just outside the Red Forest now, at the Witching Hour, with a high moon in the night sky and nothing but his own thoughts to keep him company. The empty ditch separated him from Lindequalmë, and the idea was that he would go back to Kinolan's once he finished writing and catching his breath. It had been a hard run out of the Forest, even with magic and a certain lack of obstructive predators or locals. He was alone.

Except that he wasn't.

"Who's there!" Caden called, looking into the forest. "Show yourself!"

He waited.

Nothing happened.

For a long time, nothing continued to happen.

And then, out the corner of his eye, the Wizard caught movement. A great lumbering thing, receeding into the woods. He could swore it looked back at him as it vanished, awful red eyes looking straight into his soul, but Caden really couldn't tell for sure. All he had was a terrible sense of urgency accompanied by an even worse sense of certainty.

He had dodged the Skinwalker.

But it knew him.

And it would never forget.

[Savas Tigh]

Savas ran and ran and never stopped running. Down winding roads he lost track of, through fields he couldn't place or name, through the ruins of villages he was completely unresponsible for. Every now and then, he burst into a sick kind of cackle, and it was all he could do to keep his head on straight. The Curse was affecting him less so now that he had regained his Name, but he was still going on several months of total immersion.

He raced his own shadow as the sun fell on the land of Raiaera and the forest of Lindequalmë, propelled along at the speed of baying madness and growling ghosts. Through a burough, through the village where he'd once been taunted by Bailequin, through a muddy pit six feet deep, and through a thorny bush that raked most of his shirt off and bloodied his torso. There were wolves growling tonight.

There was only one Hunter calling, and it was a mournful sound like nothing Savas had ever heard before. If the Skinwalker were anywhere in earshot, it wasn't echoing that cry.

Finally there was a gate in front of him. Savas slammed into it before he could stop himself, then took to climbing like some kind of rabid animal. He had to squeeze over wrought iron spikes and under ancient splintered wood, shredding the remnants of his pants and gashing his thigh in the process. He scrambled to reach one hand through the gate, grabbing his bone wand and the pouch full of coins that he had gathered from Hidden Leaf. The wand was sparking from damage. It wasn't going to last long.

He could hear footsteps pounding on the bridge, coming closer to him. He heard a voice.

"Blueraven? Oh, Gods, Blueraven?! Is that-"

The footsteps stopped abruptly. Savas heard a bow string pulling taut. He reacted without thinking.

The wand exploded, leaving Savas' hand a bloody mess, but the spell went off without a hitch and with all the precision that adrenaline-fuelled homicidal mania can provide. Kinolan didn't even scream as his face blew open, spewing brains and bone, teeth and tissue, snot and blood and miscellaneous fluids all over his own shoulder. His remaining eye actually looked shocked and outraged as he dropped.

Even through the shocked pain of his blood-soaked hand, Savas could feel the elf's spirit departing. It made him feel giddy. And hungry.

It's only cannibalism if it's human.
- Heironymous Ross, the Butcher of Bostok

[Savas Tigh]

Savas ate his fill. He didn't even waste time cooking it. He used the guardsman's own longknife to do most of the butcher's work, and then he took some of the choicer bones and dragged the corpse into the nearest ditch. He took Kinolan's knife, keys and his pants, then left the body where it lay.

He let himself into the guardhouse and didn't feel the slightest hint of emotion upon seeing actual stores of food or cooking equipment. Savas cooked stew and gave himself a rag bath from the same pot at the same time, then he grabbed the only mirror in the house and ritually broke it with the butt of his newly acquired knife. He didn't shave so much as he just chopped off huge chunks of beard and hair, quickly losing the psychopathic mane that Blueraven had known him by. It still left his beard thick and his hair a little mangy, but it was all short and manageable now. He could hassle over his appearance in detail later.

He put on some of the elf's old clothes. They were a little tight, but would loosen with time. He threw on Kinolan's tunic for good measure, then armed himself with the dead elf's short sword and his lumber axe. He kept the knife too, strapping its sheath onto his thigh for ease of use. Kinolan had a small messenger's bag, presumably for carrying personal effects to and from the village. He also had a spare quiver, complete with a flap that was supposed to cover his arrows and protect them from the environment. He wished he'd taken more bones then, but it was alright.

Raiaera was a big country. News travelled slow at the personal level. And there were plenty of people who could go missing without one eyebrow being raised.

Savas spent the next few hours carving spells into the bones. He had one good, sturdy arm bone, ideally suited to holding an ectomancy-based fist spell. He had some ribs, good for shadow manipulation and divination. He had a bunch of hand bones, good for tiny one-shot magicks. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

When he was done, Savas shouldered his quiver full of bones and his travel bag's worth of food and coin. Kinolan had kept logs of his activities, and Savas took a few of those too; empty books, with sturdy leather covers and bindings. They still weren't the same as having an actual grimoire, but they would do for now. He took Kinolan's ink and pen, and his spare pencils too. The last thing he robbed from the guardhouse was a lantern.

Once he was outside, he used his finger to drag lines in the dirt and grass around the guardhouse. It was a spell set on a delayed timer. When he was done, Savas lowered the lantern to hide its light and he held up a divinitory rib bone.

Spirits whispered. Death and life flowed, and only a Necromancer could gauge any meaning from it.

"Okay," he said. "Okay."

He put the wand down, tucking it into his belt for now. Lantern leading, Savas started walking north, towards Tembrethnil.

The watchhouse at Lindequalmë exploded an hour later.

[Caden Law]

Wormaxe was long gone by the time Caden found the guardhouse in ruin. Compounding matters was the fact that summer was the Raiaeran dry season, and the Wizard had to put out the fire lest it spread completely out of control.

He didn't find Kinolan's body until later, when he was checking to make sure the bridge and the gate were intact. There was a bloody trail into the grass, and the light of the Wizard's staff was bright enough to show the body even in the pre-dawn twilight. After seeing so many awful things during and after the Corpse War, Kinolan's mutilated body didn't even make him blink. One missing arm and a mutilated ribcage, some disembodied organs and a mangled skull were literally tame compared to what he had seen when the Death Lords chased him to Salvar.

Caden buried the guard in the fullest honors that he could manage. He didn't have a spare pair of pants, and considering the indignities wrought on the elf's body, he doubted Kinolan would have cared about his clothes.

"Sorry about that," he said to the dead elf, recalling vividly that he could have killed Savas back at the crater. He took a deep breath and exhaled a short puff of fire, turned to smoke rings by the time he spoke again. "I won't make that mistake again."

He bowed. Then he went to the town to tell someone about the dead guard and the ruined house, and the lack of a necessity for a replacement. He would have to lie about how he knew the guard wasn't necessary, but it would be easy enough to make something up about how he had uncovered the curse's basic functions. Once he was done in Carnelost, Caden reasoned, it was time to head to Anebrilith and take a boat back to Scara Brae.

Spring was over. It was going to be a long summer.

There ain't no rest for the Wizard.
- Warlock Deadcider

[Savas Tigh]

Spoils time.

Savas is going to be completely rewritten soon-ish, so...yeah.

Savas has acquired the following items. All are steel and average quality.

• Raiaeran Shortsword
• Raiaeran Longknife
• Logcutter's Hatchet

Savas has also acquired the following bone-items. Note that these are expendable and will probably all be used up during the next thread. All items are elf bone and poor in quality.

• Wand of Ghost Fist: Fires off a softball-sized fist made of ectomancy. Weak spell. Fully charged. Carved from a humerus.
• Wand of Escapist's Divination: Reveals the path of least resistance, metaphorically speaking. Carved from a rib bone.
• Wand of Entropy: Generates a random destructive effect on a target. Weak spell. Fully charged. Carved from a rib bone.
• Wand of Ghost's Hands: Generates a phantom hand that can manipulate up to five pounds and has a maximum range of twenty feet. Weak spell. Fully charged. Carved from a rib bone.
• Wand of Guidance: Controls lower level (0) undead (NPCs only). Weak spell, maximum number of five. Carved from a rib bone.
• Hand bones engraved with various one-shot spells, nothing more powerful than an M-80.

Savas has acquired the following non-combat items. All are leather or cloth, Raiaeran-made and average quality.

• Clothes: Savas has two changes of clothes, each consisting of pants and a shirt. He has one green leather tunic, water resistant.
• Savas has one arrow quiver.
• Savas has one burlap messenger bag.
• Savas also acquired several empty leather-bound logbooks (journals), some ink, a pen, and a few pencils.
• Savas managed to steal genuine Sidhë coins; however many and worth however much the thread judge dictates.

And before anyone gets smart: No. He doesn't have shoes.

Caden has no special spoils for this one.

[Duffy]

The Red Requiem in Cresting Summer Judgement

Firstly, you asked for no or light commentary, so I’ve picked up on one or two things where appropriate, and praise where praise is due of course. This thread is one of the longest I’ve read both from you as a writer, and on Althanas proper, and you’re to be commended for completing it and doing so with such style, so, on with the judgement!

Story (24/30)

Continuity: (8) Although set over a relatively long time, each event connects and refers where appropriate. There is a real sense of scale not just within the thread, but referring to older events too. You have clearly done your research into the history of Althanas!

Setting: (9) Living, breathing, pulsating world. Simple and effective but brilliantly done. I especially implore your use of sensory descriptions and non-direct descriptions. Describing a bed not for its concrete properties but the reasons it was built for in Xem’Zund’s tower was especially genius.

Pacing: (7) Difficult to perfect pacing with a thread of this length, and it slacked towards the end when Caden and Savas parted ways. It felt almost rushed, considering the bulk and the well timed events that preceded it. Tempo flowed nicely in the court room and the battle outside the tower, seamless but not quite polished to get an 8 or more.

Character (29/30)

Dialogue: (9) No 10 this time, as although it’s witty, fun, to the point and utterly in character, your npc interaction was a little trite. Xem’zund’s speech especially switched from high brow and overly dramatic arch-villain to semi-casual Eastender’s extra (Dallas I suppose works more for you ). To get a nine you really need to pull some crackers, and there are a lot of crackers in this. Your rhetoric in the court was especially done, and although many cringe at coloured text, you use it appropriately to add (no pun intended) colour to speech where otherwise you’d have to overcomplicate it with thick technique.

Action: (10) Ah-ha! A ten, there we go. This thread did action right in every way. You’ve literal face-crunching bone breaking blood soaked violence of the pointy hat inspired variety, interaction between characters, NPCs and the environment, and you describe people’s motions and reactions to words, sounds and sights with upmost diligence.

Persona: (10) A devilish understanding of who your characters are, and, dare I say, Savas is turning into a bit of a Caden wannabe/nemesis/fanboi – the dynamic between them would make for an excellent sitcom. I don’t need to tell you who your characters are, and how you write, I don’t need any explanation at all.

Writing (19)

Technique: (7) Solid but repetitive technique used throughout. Your coloured text usage is excellent, and your use of letters, diary entries and the like is always interesting and rewarding to read. Several awkward run on sentences and one line paragraphs are useful in moderation, but be careful not to make whole posts hammer blow anecdotes and simple sentences.

Mechanics: (6) Sadly, much weaker show here than anything previous (or perhaps I’m paying more attention out of sheer envy). Elision out of dialogue and several mistypes detract from your score.

Clarity: (6) Everything was described to crystalline clarity but, working with no many NPCs has it’s downside. If you’re going to use so many names, and I can see why coloured text helps here, be careful not to use them too much or too little, as they need to be burnt into the reader’s mind to be memorable when referred to 30 or so posts down the line.

Wild Card: (9) I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. When I see a post of yours appear I’ve read it before you’ve even cracked your knuckles. You are a pleasure to read without a shadow of a doubt, and I long to be Caden’s apprentice, hands down. Your command of the story and characters is awe-inspiring, but be careful to not let yourself get carried away knowing this will carry you through to good scores. You write well, and with flair, but it needs tightening up and perhaps, in places (hypocritical comment of the year coming up!) toning down a bit.

Total: 81/100

Spoils & Experience:

Caden Law receives 6673 xp and 1080 gold.

Savas Tigh receives 1227 xp and 1080 gold.

Your equipment spoils except the bone items are approved. You will have to run their effects past the Realm of Greeting when you next level up or update your character profile.

Thread to be moved pending Judge's Choice nomination!

[Silence Sei]

GP-Exp added.

Wow Caden, You and me leveled up in the same day, maybe that means we should quest together now that you're free! : D