The Croft Of Ravens (Closed)

[Jennifer Oakley]

My name is Jennifer.

Her name was Jennifer.

We are Jennifer.

The forest speaks through cycles, seasons, suns and moons, and through me, she roars, a primal incantation through the bough of the three and the dance of my people.

Rotting trunks and deep wood spheres, they record the history of these lands. My heart, her heart, his heart, our hearts, they recall and beat the life blood of this rocky and desolate wood.

The Circle has watched.

The Circle has waited.

It has found me, again.

I do not know what the druid wanted, nor do I care. My people must be guided to the new land of the future, with or without Yedda’s blessing. She called on me to sacrifice my life once, to quell the wrath of the Ancients who slumber deep in the forest in tomb glades and barrier bound Winterfell.

But I will not give my life again.

Faustus, the creature now named Anima, will not have his heart broken once more.

This is my Oath.

This is my calling.

Jennifer opened her eyes and peered out of the hollow of the Croft of Ravens, and smiled with a deep and knowing inkling that beyond the bent bough and the gnarled bracken glades of the deep woods, the Ancients were waiting for her.

War was coming to the Thayne of the woods.

The Tree had shown her where to go.

It had shown her who to speak to.

It had revealed to her what she must do.

[Venessian]

Plot Construction ~ 14/30

Story met the basic elements of a story arc. Very little attention to the tangible setting resulted in poor scoring for this category. I assume that this is just a small piece of what is a very long and well thought out story line. I believe the distance from Concordia to Underwood is rather large. You cleared it in the transition from one post to another.

Characterisation ~ 17/30

Dialogue was good. Not great compared to your past accomplishments as a writer, but good. Make sure that your abilities used coincide with what's on your character sheet. If new abilities have been obtained since your last level up, please make links available to judges/readers. Keep in mind that abilities don't just mean combat powers.

Writing Style ~ 19/30

Titillating usage of adjectives. Advanced usage of writing techniques were appreciated but at times, word play detracted from the flow of the story. Spelling mistakes here and there, but nothing major or hampering.

Wildcard: 5/10

Total ~ 55/100
Jennifer receives 550 exp, 125 gold, and story advancement.

[Letho]

EXP/GP added!