Sorry for the lateness, everyone! I got a little busy while at the same time fighting some sort of coughy-sneezy-sniffly illness. Without further delay, I'll get right into the reviews.


Captain on the Wind -- You use some nice figurative literary techniques, though I sense that you often have a hard time setting them up effectively, if that makes any sense. You're getting closer, though. Keep practicing and polishing. Work against over-writing sentences with too many unnecessary words, avoid repeating the same word in the same sentences, and always try to use stronger verbs. To your credit, you did describe things clearly, so while I didn't often feel as much energy as I wanted to from your prose, I definitely always had a good mental image of what was going on.

You did considerably better in the character department, portraying some strong emotions in the story. You may have overdone just a little bit, but not by much. You used subtle actions and motions to bring your characters to life. Your dialogue was decent overall, though nothing spectacular (though it didn't necessarily need to be.)

I was a bit disappointed at first when Gale woke up, because I immediately thought "Oh, it was just a dream. Lame." Then it turns out to be a flashback (or so I gathered), which changes things a bit. I still wasn't thrilled about it, but you wrapped things up well enough that I forgave you. :P My only other issue is that your tie to the prompt was a bit weak, mostly implied, really.

All in all, you're heading in the right direction and I look forward to seeing you continue to grow and improve as a writer.


Aegis: Your opening description of the grotesquely fat man amused me, though I found myself wishing for a little bit more. Maybe I'm just a sucker for hyperbole. Lord Munro reminds me of an obese version of Ramsay Bolton, which isn't a bad thing. It makes him pretty easy to dislike, which I imagine you intended. You dialogue was pretty good in general, though you did sometimes slip into a somewhat more... modern verbiage, which didn't match the rest.

Your writing for this entry was much cleaner and smoother than your round 2 Aegis vignette. It drew me in, and I forgot that I was supposed to judge it for a little bit. Good work. The paragraph with the crossbow bolt was a bit tricky to follow at first, but I figured it once I read it again. Other than that, it was solid. I would have liked a little more imagery sprinkled in, but not too much more. I was a little disappointed with the ending, but I can see why you cut off there instead of continuing -- the fight that follows just wasn't important to the story.


Wings: Your opening line struck me as... odd. I'm not sure how well a simile comparing a falling cherry blossom to a falcon works. I'm nitpicking, of course, but opening lines are excruciatingly important, so I figured I'd indulge myself. The second line, however, was pretty cool, if just a tad on the wordy side. You tossed in some alliteration later in the paragraph, which I like, though I think "stood stern and sentinel" would have worked a tad better. You also had a couple of odd-sounding lines of dialogue.

That's all nitpicking, however. I really, really liked this story. From the characterization and emotions portrayed to the flow of the conversation to the awesome flower symbolism throughout, this was a top-notch entry.

Whispers: You had one of the better core story concepts here, and created a strong ominous mood. The 'men-that-weren't', as you call them, reminded me a lot of the Sranc from the Prince of Nothing books. That's a good thing, I think. Unfortunately, your prose wasn't as solid as I have seen it before. You stumbled frequently into passive voice and overused weak verbs. "Their very appearance was violence personified" -- try "Their very appearance personified violence." I won't spend any more time here, though. You know where to find me for more details.

I wish you had painted a clearer picture of the unfolding carnage early on. You gave glimpses here and there, but I kept feeling like I should be seeing things more clearly. Most notably, Maester Musashi came somewhat out of nowhere. The combat got a bit hard to follow at times, and other times stumbled in its pacing. I don't fault you much for this, mind, because I know firsthand just how difficult it is to write compelling, clear, and exciting combat scenes. In all honesty, clarity was your major stumbling block in this entry. There was a lot going on and several characters, most with odd names, and it became difficult to discern what exactly was happening at times.


Flames: You did a great job with the setting; I swear I felt a little colder when reading, haha. I also liked that you tied in your entry with a variety of other things in your character's history, giving context without confusing the reader or bogging down the narrative. That's a very good thing. Your prose was generally pretty good, barring some issues here and there that I'm sure I've mentioned before, haha. My main complaint here is that, as good as this entry was, it felt too much like a part of something, rather than a complete story. Despite that, you did a good job with characterization, and I'm finding myself more and more intrigued with this character.


Bloodrose: At first, your take on the prompt struck me oddly. It wasn't exactly "choose between a friend and honor/morality", but rather choosing between a friend and his own self-preservation. But then I thought about it, and came to the conclusion that Teric's code of honor basically is self-preservation, lol. And almost as soon as I reached that conclusion, you more or less confirmed it in the story.

I would have liked a bit more information on the Reus. They intrigued me. Your pacing was much better in this story than in round two, and your prose generally a bit cleaner and overall better. The combat was pretty good, though not perfect (combat is just hard, lol). Mainly, it suffered from some instances where you overwrote some sentences and hurt the intensity. Still, that was a minor issue, and overall I felt drawn into your story. Your dialogue wasn't fancy, but it felt possibly the most real out of any entry here, as did your portrayal of Teric's personality.



Sagequeen: I liked your story concept. It was a nice take on the "life of an innocent or your honor" choice. You set it up wonderfully, but I feel that making it a trick played by a demonic entity cheapened the impact at the end, robbing the choice of its emotional weight. Also, you mentioned some things at the end regarding references drawn to other stories you wrote, and indeed the vignette might have hit home more powerfully if I had any knowledge of them. That said, stories like this need to stand on their own just as well.

Your prose was good as always. I would have liked a little more description of "the man" in the early parts of the story. I think a good, ominous description would have added to the dark mood. You had a few parts where I think you could have added some extra style. For example: "purring with a soothing and sinister voice." -- This sort of intriguingly contradictory description warrants a bit more flair and clarity to let the reader feel exactly what you mean. All in all, though, you produced yet another solid entry. Well done.


Artemis: Your opening line was pretty good, which just a few nitpicky things holding it back from excellence. For instance, "Artemis' eyes scanned" would, in my estimation, work better as "Artemis scanned". There are a few other things to be tweaked. You know where to find me for further details, hehe. I won't go into excruciating detail regarding your prose. You know what you need to work on, and I'll be happy to help you out over AIM. You are getting better, mind you, though you stumble into problems with wordiness still. For instance: "Artemis balled his hand into a fist and slammed it down onto the metal table." That's an example of something that you just took far too many words to say, which caused it to lose its impact.

You went with a classic approach to the prompt, which is fine. I liked the concept, though I felt that the emotions and interactions were a bit rushed and overblown. Also, there was some incongruence between the overall mood set in the story and your little twist at the end. It just felt too goofy and really detracted from the overall effect of the story. If you had written the entire thing more light-heartedly, it would have worked perfectly.


Zerith: I'll be honest. I've never read your work before, so I didn't know what to expect. Barring some errors here and there, your writing is pretty solid. You say what needs to be said without too much fluff. I would have liked a little more imagery and flair, but still. I can't complain too much.

You also took a fairly classic approach to the prompt. I liked the concept and you executed it fairly well, though I think the conversation felt rushed at certain spots, and some of the dialogue didn't sound quite right. I liked the characters, but I never felt like I got to know them enough. That's probably caused by the shortness of the story. I know it's just a vignette, but I definitely would have liked a little... more.

*******

All right, this was a close one! We had so many great entries, and seriously, you guys are awesome. In the end, I had to pick one winner...

Bloodrose wins round four! Wings of Endymion comes in a close second. Good job! While Bloodrose's 'style' was not quite as sophisticated as Wings, I found his story more exciting and engaging. Still, so very close. Well done.

And that's it! The final round. Atzar and I will announce the top three finishers for the entire event very soon, so keep your eyes open.