Ok every one, So I have been going through alot here recently. Well, I was sitting here thinking. There is not many ppl that I can talk to about this situation. I would turn to some out side advice. I know y'all don't know me. And some of y'all may be sitting there thinking to yourselves "This guy don't know us. Why is he coming to complete strangers for help with something this big?"

Here is why. I am a good person and I am always willing to help some one with a problem that they may have,, and I like to think that there would be people out there that would show the same kindness that I would show.
I aint asking y'all to listen to me when and complain about my life. I am just simply asking for a bit advice from some wise minds.

So here we go. I will explain this the best I can.

Back at the end of Jan. and the beginning of Feb. My ex fiance came to stay with me. And everything was great. I was happy, I was smiling more. I was truely in heaven with this girl by my side. Well, the weekend of my 25th birthday my cousin and 2 of her friends came down for my birthday. But sadly. My birthday got ruined and I my ex fiance and I were run out of our house 2 days before my birthday. The things that were dot to our room and to our stuff. The way we were treated by people that sat there and said they loved me can never be forgiven. I know that the bible says not to hold grudges but this is one of those things were you cant help but hold grudge against ppl. Well we went and stayed at my uncles brothers house for a week of so. that is how bad my so called family hurt us, we didn't even wanna go home even after my cousin and them left.

When we finally went home. we stayed in the guest room upstairs because our room got completely destroyed by them. I mean, they spray painted our bed room walls, dumped my ash tray out all over my close. Poured a bag of chips all over our floor. Dumped an entire bottle of laundry soap all over our bed. I can't forgive that stuff.

Well, My ex and I were back together through all this and I snapped. I was pissed, I am sure that most of y'all would feel the same way. Considering that my aunt. My cousins mom didn't do a damn thing to stop her own daughter. That is pretty messed up that she let it happen.

Well, not long after going home. My ex went back on the road with her mom. While we were staying at my uncles brother's house. Her wallet come up missing. Now luckily, her DL and her Bank Card were not in it. But her Medical Card and a ton of high school memories including her senior prom ticket stub was in it. That stuff can be replaced. Now you can see why she went back on the road with her mom. To many backstabbers in my family.

Sadly enough. a week after going back on the road. We broke up. But we did stay in contact. My aunts wedding was a couple of weeks after she left, and her best friend/sister came down from WV for the wedding. Now her friend/sister started to like me alot. She is back home now. But let me tell you abuot something she told me one night in the cafe of UMC children's in El Paso, Tx. See. my mom, ant her this other girl were trying to get me to move to WV. and here is why. If it turned out that my ex was pregnant. That my "Parent's" would try to take custody of the baby so that the mother (my ex) couldn't have anything to do with the baby. Then give me the baby to raise. The reason they would do that is because that would ment the baby did have his/her daddy. But at the same time, make sure that I was not able to take ff wit the baby and go to my ex with the child. If I had taken off, do to the fact that they would have custody, they could get me for kidnapping. Finding out something like that can take a major toll on some ones heart.

I also found out that same night. That what my cousin and her friends did to us. Was all set up by my aunt. It was all planned out. That hurt me even more. They thought I wouldn't go to my ex and tell her all this. They were wrong. That is exactly what I did. I told my ex everything that I was told. I am that honest with my ex. I dont keep secrets from her.

Now this is were the situation takes a turn. This is were it gets real and reality slaps me in the face so hard that it opened my eyes to all the BS. She called me on the day I was headed to UMC, She told me that she was late. A few days later she called me again. She told me that she had just taken a test and it came back +. meaning you know. So we sat there a talked about that. She texted me later that evening telling me that she had a doctor appointment the next day at 1 to get a pregnancy test done. so again we sat there and texting a bit more on that one.

(Now before I continue, let me explain something. The reason we are having to discuss this over the phone, or txt is because there is current 909 miles between us. That is why this is a very pressing issue with me.)

The next day. I was laying there in my room. Not sleeping, not napping, but just kinda resting my eyes. It was a long day cuz I knew where my ex was going at 1 her time. So like I was saying. I am just laying there thinking. I get a phone call from her, and this was the first thing she told me "I am 11 weeks, if everything goes right I will be d in November." So, again we sat there talking. she then told me "I will prolly tell my mom tonight, so be prepared." Ok, so by this time, there is no way I am getting any kind of rest now. I know this. So I went out into the living room were my other cousin was playing Xbox and I just sat there in the chair in front of my laptop. I didnt do anything with my laptop right away. I mean I sat there and slide my finger across the mouse pad and hit "
ENTER" to sign me on to my desktop. Then I lean forward a bit more and grabbed my pack of cigarettes and lit one. I took a few drags still thing. My cousin over there playing "Boarderlands" he kinda glanced at me and knew I had something on my mind. But he didn't say anything. He just kept to his game. Which is good because I wouldn't have talked about it anyways. I then got on facebook and just started goofing around here and there trying to keep my head clear. didnt work.

Now later that evening I got a text from her saying "I am going to tell my mom it was only one time, ok" and I texted back "So as far as your mom knows it was once?" and 20 mins went by before I got a reply. The next text I got from her was this "Oh...... She hates you now." so we sat there once again, we were sitting there talking. I soon got a text from her mom. Excuse my language, But this is what the text said exactly. "I am going to fucking kill you ...... when I see you again!" I then started talking to her mom about it.

Her mom told me that I was not going to marry her daughter and what not and we talked about that whole thing and it turns out that her mom is not going to stand by that. She is going to give me a chance to prove my self. And that is what I plan on doing. I have now been in contacting with a select few friends that now what I am going through. Here is the delima I face now. The friend/sister of my aunts, then one that told me everything wants to move down here for me. But I have a feeling in the next month or so. I wont be here. Here is why I say that. I have done alot of thinking and deliberating on this and I have decided that I am going to be there for my ex and my kid. I wont walk away from them. I have told that to every one that knows the story and they all say that I am doing the right thing. I know when I make this choice. My family will be very upset with me and what I will have to do to protect my new family. The only one that matters now. I would have to delete and block alot of people to protect the ones I love. That means all family and all friends that can link me back to my parents. It is a huge sacrifice I know. But one I am willing to make for my child and the woman I love. I have even thought of my only way getting there would be by traveling on foot. I have a very interesting way of looking at that option. See, Jesus walked every where with a pair of worn out sandles to spread his fathers word, to get what he wanted. How hard could it be for one man to follow in his "Father's" foot steps and also walk great distances for what he he loves.

So I know where my heart and loyalty's lay. They lay with my ex, and my baby. No one else. They are all that matters in my life now.

This morning I finally had it out with my mom. She still does not know the full details. She has no clue she has another grandchild on the way. No one in my family knows that I have a kid on the way. That is the way it shall stay. You know the reason's. and then my aunt had some what the same conversation with me. Next will be me and my dad, and I will say this now. I am done dealing with him trying to dictate my life. I am sick of the way he talks to me and it wont continue. It ends now.

So now y'all know my story. My situation. What are y'all's thoughts on this cross road in my life

If you would like to reach me on this matter personally. you can reach me on FB. I am always online.
https://www.facebook.com/homeofthedamned