AC: Round 1 - Group 5

[Tainted Bushido]

He was tired, but refused to go to sleep. He was wounded, but refused to give in. Many people got in their heads that the samurai of Akashima were some nigh invincible force that never bleed and were masters of magical sword techniques. They would claim that Taka would know upon looking at someone what the outcome of a fight would be, and that his devil eyes would stare into a soul and gauge your worthiness of such a fight. They of course were wrong; the reality was hardly something befitting a legend.

Fighting for roughly an hour in bursts drained the energy reserves faster than most activities. There was the cycle of figuring out what about this replica was off, and resolving the issue with haste. Taka had to use every ounce of restraint not to blow into a copy immediately; for fear that he might injure an ally. It was tiring in both a mental and physical capacity. As he moved along slowed by the tendrils of fatigue clawed at his limbs making them feel like dead weights as he nursed the various black scabs on his body, signs that if he wasn’t Taka he had fought the real one at least.

He wasn’t invincible, but he was slowly moving forward.

His gate was moving towards the middle of the maze, checked with the occasional poke through the brush with his blade, to see where the rest of the maze was in relation. With the trail of dead corpses behind him it became easy to give himself landmarks to go by, and with it not being actual flesh it was easier to stomach the arduous task of arranging the corpses in the manner he was going, pointing the way for his allies. The upper body of his Kimono had been torn to shreds by the repeated attacks by the maze to ensnare or entrap him. It only offered more flesh for the scabs to cover, beside other scars he had earned over his tenure with the Ixian Knights.

It wasn’t until he had killed his third Steppenwolfe that he sensed the presence of something nearby. His shoulders tensed ready for battle once more as he heard the soft shifting of the sand and turned to see the Elf once more before him. It had been awhile since he had seen such a clone and chalked it up to the Elf’s mental fortitude more than anything. They looked upon each other in silence for a while, each waiting for the other to speak, and so Taka made his first bid for some solace in this maze.

Hefting the Rat’s Tail Nodachi he spoke firmly, “Touch the blade.”

“Why should I?” Came the cautious response as Erissa slowly moved forward her eyes carefully watching the Ronin, “How do I know you won’t attack as soon as I step forward…”

Taka carefully gripped the blade of his Nodachi and cut across the palm of his hand. The cut wasn’t terribly deep, but deep enough to show the blackened blood that flowed in his veins as he carefully held his palm up to the Elf. He then carefully lifted the blade to Erissa and spoke firmly once more, “Touch the blade. If you do as I ask, I will not attack.”

She then reached out a hand and carefully touched the steel as she raised an eyebrow in confusion and carefully drew it back. Taka’s eyes went to the flesh of her hand and upon seeing no blistering he sagged to a knee and let out a hoarse laugh, “Good, it is you. It is good to see a friend after so long through this hell.”

“How do you know it is me?”

“These plant creatures we’ve been fighting, they have a weakness to iron, which my blade is mainly made from. Never before has my diligence with this blade been so rewarded. I believe it is the fae nature of this place causing these plants to succumb to the iron in my blade. All I know is that even their weapons are near useless to defend against the Nodachi. If you can touch my blade without injury, you are either her…”

“Or I am an enemy, and it would be foolish to attack if you knew I was mortal,” Came the resoning forth.

“Either way, I know I have met another real person and I can let my guard down for now. Have you seen the others at all?”

“Not truly, only their copies, though with the number free in this maze, I think we’ve been out of it for an hour. I don’t even know when I’m awake or asleep…”

“Pain.”

“What?”

“Pain, it differentiates from the dream and this place. I’ve been cutting myself occasionally to wake myself up if I suspect the passage has been too smoothly. Hopefully you have not been too bothered by my…” He gestured unable to remember the word in Trade Speak before he switched to Akashiman, “Kodama.”

“Plant spirit? That is an apt name for them. No, I have seen through them, it is only tiring to resist them and figure out who the real one is,” The elf then nodded to him and noticed the scraps that formed the upper body of his kimono.

“I had problems finding you, let’s find Steppenwolfe and the girl and get out of here…”

[Taste of Treason]

Cel could feel as her body was jostled around by the gentle giant carrying her. The funny thing about being somewhat asleep is that one also had a tendency to also be somewhat awake. That’s why when Cel found the wind blowing through her hair at an alarming rate; she chalked it up to one of those half-awake, half-asleep dreams rather than the cruelty of reality.

And then she slammed into the ground.

She could feel her skinned arms and legs as she rolled unexpectedly along the hard floor, gaining her bearings just long enough to watch the shrubs close before her eyes once more. Just like that, she was isolated from her team again. The girl stood up, looking around at her surroundings. For the most part, this area seemed to be just a circular pad with a wall of bushes around it, a single red door against one of the green walls before her.

“Cellar!” a familiar voice cried out, the kind Steppenwolf, “Cellar, stay right where you are! I will be with you as soon as I can! You did it girl! You made it out of the maze!” Cel stood, puzzled at the large man’s echoed words through the garden. The teen stood in front of the door, just starring blankly ahead as she tried to wrap her head around what had just happened. Somehow, she had managed to get to the end of this nightmare while not doing much of anything. It was all thanks to the man with the pink afro. The same man who was now by himself once again.

Tears filled the girl’s eyes as she thought about the kindness of Steppenwolf. If nothing else, she would be sure to thank him after this tournament round was finished.







Cel ran as fast as she could, trying to tail the ronin who had not seen her. The girl was not as well trained as the Akashimian, and thus, began to tire quickly during the pursuit. It wasn’t until Taka gave pause to talk to their third team mate, the elf, that she had the opportunity to join them, breathing heavily. She placed her hands on her knees and doubled over, raising her hand for a moment in an attempt to catch her breath. She stood a few seconds afterwards, grateful the swordsman did not strike her down in her moment of weakness.

“Prove it,” Taka spoke directly with the girl, his hand never leaving his sword, “prove you are the correct Cellar.”

Cellar’s eyes widened, but she still complied with a nod. Taking in a single deep breath, Cellar began to walk closer to the wall of the maze. A vine began to reach out violently towards her, its thorns intent on embedding themselves in her wrists. Before the plant got close, however, the girl began to sing. The song was enough to cause the single vine to retract, and give her the chance she needed to step away from the dangerous side.

“Proof…enough?” Cellar spoke, still trying to catch her breath in between words.

[Steppenwolf Orlouge]

Around every twist and turn now, there seemed to be either a Taka, or an Erissa. Every twist or urn, they were an imposter. Every twist and turn found my fist being crunched into various body parts until the threat was gone. By this point, Alabaster had all but stopped trying to mess with my mind, and started sending his little duplicates on an attempt at a killing spree. The Taka’s already had their swords drawn, the Erissa’s always….. you know, I never really gave those fake elves the chance to show me what Erissa’s actual weapon is.

Come to think of it, what was that Erissa actually did? I would have to ask her when I found the real one. If I found the real one.

Every so often, I would pass out only to wake up immediately afterwards. I found myself constantly going down the same paths I took down my ‘dreamscape’ (which ever world that was), and running into the same clones with the same tactics. Eventually, however, I realized that there was a key difference between the others and me. It actually hadn’t dawned on me until now.

The others weren’t super heroes.

I grinned as I reached into my pocket, withdrawing a small eye mask and placing it on my face. As soon as the object touched my skin, I could feel myself losing height and weight, my hair frilling down to my shoulders and turning blue, and even my very bones shrinking to fit my smaller stature. That was the part that hurt the most. Have you ever hit your arm so hard it felt like the pain went directly to the bone? Imagine that feeling, only all over your body. It sucked, but it was the best solution I had come up with to get me out of here.

I took a deep breath for a moment and opened my different colored eyes. My transformation into Breaker was complete. Now, I could manipulate the energies at play here, and use it to locate my team mates. The only problem would be making sure they weren’t aware that I was in all actuality the Super Hero of Salvar. I walked coolly over to one of the walls, pressing my hand to it. I could feel the magic of Alabaster now coursing through the plant, flowing through the veins in my arm and directly into the nanomachines that coursed throughout my body.

“Locate,” I spoke, my voice speaking with the same high class Scara Brae accent as Alabaster. The ruse seemed to work, for instantly, the walls began to shift to my will, even forming arrows in the shrub to give me a general direction of which way to go. I grinned just before the pain coursed through my body. I grabbed my heart and gritted my teeth. As Breaker, I could absorb almost any energy I came into contact with, but if I held those energies within myself for long, I would suffer their effects from the inside. The last thing I needed was to have a shrub maze grow from within my body, so I began to run down the path, releasing a little bit of the magical energies at a time as I did so.

I ran until I could hear voices, and the spell singing of Cel. My thoughts instantly went to the worst case scenario. Had she retreated back from the exit, to find me? How could I have not realized that the girl would have done that? She seemed like the kind who would go that extra mile for such things, but the thought had never crossed my mind just how selfless she was.

I instantly took off my mask, the last bit of energies leaving my body, and a grunt of pain coming from my throat as my bones readjusted to their old body type. My howling must have alerted the others, for as I finished transforming back, I could see Taka make his way around the corner where I stood. I was holding my chest still, stumbling forward a little under the pressure of my own wait.

“Orlouge-san,” Taka spoke with that respect and reverence typically reserved for my brother, “Are you alright?”

“How…o you know…I’m me…?” I managed to gargle out through my pain, looking to my reunited party.

“All of the Steppenwolf’s we’ve encountered go directly for the death blow,” Erissa spoke up, “None of them just stood there as we approached, let alone in pain.”

“Bad call!” I shouted, standing up and slamming my fist into my hand. I jumped back from a quick sword slash, which was more comparable to a flash of hot steel. “Relax Taka!” I shouted, a small laugh pushing through the agony, “It was a joke!”

Apparently, the only one who thought it was funny was the slightly smiling Cellar Door…

[Sagequeen]

Erissa cringed at the realization of just how easy it was to forget this was all a game, though Steppenwolf's ill-conceived joke did remind her of that at least. The pain of broken ankles and the disorienting quality of what amounted to narcolepsy was real enough, as was the fear that pumped through the elf with every beat of her heart. Every copy of a person invited indecision that could cost her life. At times, the pounding of her heart was all Erissa could hear.

Yet somehow, the four had managed to once again find each other, and what was more, the elf knew in her bones they were close. The flowers would no longer pose more than annoyance; it was unlikely one flower could take out all four of them, and killing duplicates had proved to be very easy.

“I may have angered the only ally we have in this place,” she said to the group with a heavy sigh. “Gabacef the Tender, a faun. This is his flute,” Erissa whispered, removing the reeds from her pocket. “It saved my life. I was growing roots, becoming a part of the hedge. I played it and the hedge retreated from me. But in the beginning, I did not trust the faun.”

“Lies and deception, all meant to lead you down dead ends,” Taka said somberly. “You have the flute and it saved you. That is all that matters.”

“I suppose,” Erissa said hesitantly. “I just hope that it is not him we will need to deal with at the center, although I daresay I would take him over Alabaster.” The adventurers prepared to round another of the myriad bends in the pathways of the maze. “Wait, please,” she implored them, and quickly summoned a shield of energy. “I will go first.” Taka nodded, and as the elf disappeared around the hedge, the three heard a distinct hissing.

Erissa peered victoriously through her shield at the striped tiger-lily as it emitted a haze of sedative; her translucent shield displayed glowing constellations as the poison struck it.

“Erissa!” Taka called.

“Stay back!” the elf cried, and she willed the energy of the shield to move away from her, and around the bloom. With another telekenetic heft, she summoned a gust of wind that carried away the errant haze that hung in the air. “Your blade, Taka! I have disabled the flower!” The Ronin moved with such silence that the elf, even with her superior senses, only heard the singing of his weapon as it sliced through the stem of the flower, which fell in a crumpled heap upon the grass. Cel peeked around the corner, and her eyes widened.

“We made it!” the girl squealed, and she stumbled forward. Steppenwolf caught her arm quickly to stop her, wary of what lay ahead.

Taka stepped carefully forward, Erissa following closely behind, and Steppenwolf with Cel side by side through the last few yards of the pathway. Immediately, Erissa was struck with the beauty of the gardens at the center of the maze. Shapely statues graced beds of painstakingly cultivated rainbows of flowers and rich green foliage. A small spring bubbled into a pond, which in turn meandered as a stream throughout the enormous square.

“Hail, adventurers!” came the call of a most familiar and uncanny voice. The group’s attention was drawn to the top of a large, ornate building, upon which their pale nemesis perched, a crow of foreboding in his black jacket framed by the clear, blue sky.

[Tainted Bushido]

“My oh my oh my, of all the groups to be put against, you have certainly been entertaining. I must thank dear Kenneth for allowing me this chance to play. I do get so bored, and when he offered me a chance at entertainment I didn’t realize he would supply so fully. I feel I might have to return the gift he gave me, this was already gift enough…” Alabaster remained sitting atop the building as he looked down upon the group that had stumbled to the center of the maze.

“What is the plan now? Are we to entertain you in some large scale battle?” Taka challenged as the Nodachi was hefted in a single hand pointing directly at the man who had been tormenting them. “All this pain and misery for some cure to your boredom? Is this truly what you find fun? Tormenting and torturing people in your mazes?”

“Come now Taka, don’t be so hurt, you learned much. I doubt you have thought on your feet nearly this much ever. And the maze wouldn’t have killed you; I made a promise to dear Kenneth that I would turn over any who succumbed to the maze for revival and summary ejection from the tournament. Of course, I was quite surprised to see how everyone had managed to find each other, and further reach the exit together. Dear Ms. Door’s run back into the maze was quite inspired on that part,” Alabaster said with a tone that was equal parts lecture and congratulatory.

“So we are safe?” Taka asked.

“Of course. The exit to the city at the center of the island is over there. I give you my word, though I do wish I had more time to study you all, each of you is so very, very interesting…” Alabasters gaze seemed to linger longest upon Steppenwolfe as Taka carefully pulled a small cloth from his obi and cleaned the rat’s tail nodachi, before he sheathed it. His eyes never wandered from their so called host who only watched with an amused smirk as the ronin seemed to stand down from any attempts at murder.

Taka closed his eyes smelling the sea once more before he opened them and looked back at the others, “I trust him, less than I trust each of you, but I trust him. He has given us no reason to believe he’s lying. Fact in point, I don’t think he can…”

“Figured me out Taka?” Alabaster asked.

“Fae trickery this entire way and the Faun I have heard about could only have done so much of it. If the Faun was your servant it would have either been by entrapment, or because you aren’t mortal,” Taka challenged.

“Half right on that account, much like I could call you a Benjiro and be half right. I am Fae on my Father’s side. It has gifted me with a wonderful chance to choose between the two realms. You and I are but two peas in a pod, both cut from a tree we relish, but both wondering if we could ever re-“ Alabaster was cut off by the Ronin as he gripped the hilt of his nodachi his voice growing cold as his Ki washed over the area in a tide of anger, the dark waves that marked Taka’s soul washing through the garden much to Alabaster’s slight discomfort.

“I do not seek to shame that family anymore and I have warned you about calling me that. Disgrace that family by marking me one of their kin and suffer the consequences.”

“Justly so,” Alabaster said nodding in concession, “You all have been through much and I’m sure you do not wish to dally with dear old me, as I said that path there leads to the city at the center of the Island, congratulations team five you have passed the first test!”

Clapping was the last thing Taka heard as the statement of congratulation let the ronin give in to the wounds at last. He remembered someone screaming, maybe everyone it was hard to tell, but he collapsed in the garden as the fatigue and the minor injuries finally took their toll.

This is Taka's Conclusion

[Taste of Treason]

Cel was overjoyed at the maze-keeper’s words. She had actually survived the first test of the adventurer’s crown. True the victory was in no way her own, but even being the weakest link in a successful finish was more than she had ever accomplished before. The young girl looked to her team mates with her newfound enthusiasm, but the joy was short-lived when she saw Steppenwolf focusing on her with a furrowed brow.

“Where is she?” The giant stared at her with building rage.

Cel stammered, all at once confused and terrified. “I don’t…what do you....?”

“Not you!” He held up his massive hand to stop her, turning his attention to Alabaster. “Where is she?” The roar sprung the garden to life, all the small animals running in every direction, birds soaring towards the sky.

The nobleman lowered himself to sitting atop the green wall, crossing his legs at the ankles and adjusting his monocle. “Lord Orlouge!” As he said the words he bowed slightly, tipping his hat mockingly towards Steppenwolf. “What ever do you mean? Miss Erissa is good as ever, right before you, and the girl you’ve got shaking in her boots is Miss Cellar Door. Unless I’ve somehow forgotten, that was all the girls you brought into my little game.”

All at once Cel felt a hand upon her wrist and her body turned through no will of its own. She was lifted into the air and for a split second she swore she saw dark brown hair through the bushes.

“I found her, crying in the maze. I carried her. The Cel I brought to the center of this place had a tear in her pants! Where is the real Cellar?”

The realization hit the teen, who immediately began to fight her way from atop the man’s shoulders. With no struggle he released her, apparently satisfied with making his point.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about! I haven’t seen you since the beginning! I followed Taka and then he met Erissa! I never ripped my pants! Please Steppenwolf, you have to believe me! I’m real!” Sympathy met her in his eyes, but not trust. Cel knew the look all too well. “I’ll prove it to you!” Her eyes began to tear up as she gestured towards the fallen ronin. “Taka’s sword! It only has to touch you, if you aren’t real you disappear! Right Erissa, Alabaster?”

Steppenwolf looked from one to the other, seeming to accept from their expressions that the girl spoke the truth. Cel never took her eyes from him, it didn’t make sense but she needed him to believe her. Not for fear of her life, but because for the first time she felt accomplished and she couldn’t let him think she didn’t deserve it. She stepped slowly towards Taka’s unconscious form, her eyes still locked tightly with the half-orc. Hr legs began to shake as she slowly reached for the iron blade, feeling electricity between her fingertips and the cool metal.

[Steppenwolf Orlouge]

I crossed my arms, nodding approvingly to Cellar as she proved that she was the genuine article. My gaze shifted over to Alabaster, who shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t have a care in the world. I glanced to my team mates (at least the conscious ones) for a few moments before I focused back on the cause of all this trouble. “So the Cellar I threw over here was one of yours?” I spoke, my tone remaining unchanged.

“Not at all,” Alabaster chuckles, waving his hand to remove some of the brush away to reveal an exact double of Cellar. I raised my eyebrows, my blue orbs instantly shifting down to the girl’s pants, to the hole at the back of her legs. “You see, Lord Orlouge, I’m not the only one who can make duplicates. Young Cellar Door here has an ability in which she can duplicate herself. Her double, unlike mine, possesses all of her abilities, but for all intents and purposes thinks she’s the real deal.”

I looked to Cellar to confirm the story (the one without the ripped pants). I got a nod in return for my silent query. It made sense; my brother, Sei, had a similar ability, although there was a telepathic link between the two Sei’s, and the clone realized he was a doppelganger. I bit my lower lip as Alabaster waved both Cellars over to him, both girls’ exhibiting the same reservations about doing so. “It’s okay,” he said with a smile, “My trickery for you is over, dear Cellar.”

The two Cel’s walked over to the man cautiously, one on each side of the gentleman, and he held his arms out. The pants-ripped Cellar had a slightly bruised face, probably from when I chunked her into the exit. I winced as I looked at my unintentional damage. “Now, Lord Orlouge, because I’ve enjoyed Cellar’s company here so much, I’m going to keep one of them. Normally, the girl’s own abilities can only maintain her double for a period of time, but due to my own prowess, I can prolong that doppelganger’s life for an eternity. However, I will only allow you to leave with one, not both. Choose wisely, Lord Orlouge.”

I thought for a moment, my eyes wide with fear. If I chose the wrong Cellar, she would disappear as soon as we went through the exit, condemning the true one to an eternity in this labyrinth. I closed my eyes, breathing heavily and trying to concentrate. Which Cel was the real one?

I opened my eyes, a grin forming across my features as I pointed towards the unbruised Cel. Alabaster’s eyes widened, apparently surprised that I had chosen the one I didn’t save. The ‘pure’ Cel ran over to me, swinging her arms around my large frame and whispering a thank you. I nodded and hugged her back.

I kneeled down, picked up Taka’s body and began to go through the door that would lead us to safety. “Wait!” Alabaster almost sounded as if he were pleading with me, “You were so confident, how did you know that she was the right one?”

I turned around for a minute, shifting my head to indicate the area behind Alabaster. The man turned around, gasping at what he saw as I walked through the exit. I’m sure Alabaster could hear my roar-like laughter.

For behind where Alabaster forced me to make a difficult choice, a stony, faun-like finger was sticking out through the shrubbery, pointing towards where I had chosen right.


((Steppenwolf's and ToT's finale. Wrap us up good, Sagey!))

[Sagequeen]

Through the open door, Erissa’s three teammates exited. As she peered more closely, she saw her bed, her nightstand, and her packed supplies waiting for her.

“You are reluctant to leave?” Alabaster asked, drawing her back into the fantasy that was his maze.

“Not at all,” the elf replied, and took several steps forward.

“Are you quite certain, Erissa Caedron?” the pale man asked, his grin filled with too-large teeth.

“Quite,” she said softly. “Quite certain.” The tone of her voice wavered.

“Then by all means, go,” Alabaster asserted, gesturing to the doorway below. “All that you know is there. All the problems, all the heartache, all the death. That is what you want, isn’t it?”

“I...” Erissa shook her head, her bun of silver hair tumbling down to her shoulders. The pale man laughed until he was gasping, and the elf regarded him with distaste.

“I,” he choked, wiping moisture from his eyes, “I couldn’t keep you here if I wanted to, Miss Caedron. It’s part of the contract I made with the tournament host. But,” he said, standing to his full height and leaping to the soft grass below. He strolled toward the elf. “Keep the flute. It’s worthless in your world, but if you should ever wish to return, you know the song to play.”

“You think I would choose to return to this place?” the elf asked incredulously.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Alabaster said lightly. “But this,” he gestured to the garden, “is a better future than some that might befall you through there.”

“Is that so?” Erissa asked in a huff, crossing her arms.

“It is. I am giving you the ability to choose your own reality, should the one you cannot control become unbearable.” Alabaster tipped his hat to her. “Go and win your little book, if you think you can. See for yourself, and perhaps we will meet again.”

“Mr. Alabaster,” Erissa said with a nod, bidding him farewell. With a deep breath, she strode through the grass and into the doorway.

The high elf looked around her empty room, fingering the flute in her pocket.

[Revenant]

Round 1 closed for judgement.

Good luck!

[Revenant]

Plot: (19)

Storytelling (7) – For sure this was a nice twist on what I had initially assumed to be nothing more than a hungry hedge maze. You followed all of the prompts in a lively way that wrapped them together into one whole, which was an elegant and simple way to do it. The addition of the faun statue, and its rebellious ways were a nice addition.

Setting (6) – Though this was a lively setting, your descriptions didn’t live up to it and after a great beginning it quickly devolved to nothing more than a run through a plant maze with flowers. By focusing more on the purely aggressive nature of the maze, you lost out on a chance to really bring the setting to a more enriched level.

Pacing (6) – Things flowed really well at the beginning and end of the thread as you all came together, but the back and forth nature of the posts as the characters wandered the maze didn’t quite live up to those parts.

Character: (18)

Communication (6) – The reasons that you came up with to determine how a double was a double stemmed mostly through this area and I have to say that there were two in particular which broke me out of the flow of the story to question your character’s deduction abilities. The first was Tainted Bushido in post #13 where he killed an Erissa-clone for calling him General. To assume that someone knows that you hate the title just because someone else might have told her once … sometime … maybe, seemed like a thin explanation. Similarly, Steppenwolf’s smashing of an Eriss-clone (what did you do to piss people off Sage?) in post 15 because she was a master seamstress without her sewing kit when Sage specifically mentioned that she was transported to the tournament with nothing but her nightgown seemed like you were just looking for anything you could come up with rather than being an actual good reason.

Action (6) – There was a lot less confusion about whether your characters were sleeping or awake than I expected. Tainted Bushido came up with a great solution which made a great fit for his character and Sagequeen did a good job of pointing out the disorienting nature of the maze. Steppenwolf, on the other hand, seemed only to find the situation only a minor inconvenience and Taste of Treason pretty much just ran through the thread panicked. Sagequeen’s additions of the faun and Alibaster’s temptations broke the “encounter a double, realize it’s a double, kill it, move on” mold that the rest of you seemed to fall into.

Persona (6) – I got a good feel for Sagequeen and Tainted Bushido’s characters in the varied emotions they displayed as they moved through the thread. Cellar Door did little more than run around in near-hysterics while sobbing which, while not as rich in character as Erissa or Taka, still worked rather well for the character. Steppenwolf seemed more like a caricature than a real character, displaying only the big loyal puppy mentality to Cellar Door and when not dealing with that being completely unfazed as a cardboard cutout.

Prose: (15)

Mechanics (4) – There were multiple instances of improper word usage and either extra or missing apostrophes throughout the thread, with Steppenwolf and Tainted Bushido being the main culprits. Psyche instead of psych, mazes instead of maze’s, moments instead of moment’s, can not instead of cannot, hoe instead of how, etc. Proofreading will help you clean these up and remember that you’re able to edit your posts to clean them up.

Clarity (4) – The general theme of your thread wasn’t one that lent itself well to clarity as it was ultimately about duplicitousness. Given more time than the tournament’s round allowed, I’m certain that you four could have cleaned this up and pulled it neatly together, but by its did trip you up here.

Technique (7) – Opposite clarity, while your thread wasn’t perfect, the theme was very well done and made for an exciting read. The theme was interesting and allowed a lot of room for individuals to complete a group-oriented thread without turning on one another.

Wildcard: (5)

Total: 57

Sagequeen receives 599 exp and 80 gp.
Taste of Treason receives 499 exp and 80 gp.
Steppenwolf Orlouge receives 698 exp and 80 gp.
Tainted Bushido receives 599 exp and 70 gp.