AC: Round 1 - Group 9

[Opposites]

Abrinano was scared out of his mind as well as ashamed. He couldn't believe that he was the cause of Blake's demise. He had been put into a trance but that didn't matter now, oh no, he mustn't try to defend himself. He had to just follow the group in a state of silence till he had something of great importance to say. No, not even if he had something important would he speak. He would stay quiet just like the women told him to. He would probably scare them with his silence, but he wouldn't want to get the woman angry again. He quickly scurried down the stairs making sure to break the ice before he stepped on each step. As he made it to the bottom he noticed that the tunnel was going to narrow. He started to run through and as the tunnel was about to end it got slightly to small for him to fit, but that didn't stop him. No, instead he just broke through the last centimeter of rock stopping as soon as he entered the room. The smell of the dying sirens entered his nostrils making it so that he felt sick. he found the closest building and rushed inside. Luckily it was a bathroom. He went into a stall and threw up what was left in his stomach.

After cleaning himself up, he walked back out and took a look into each of the buildings. They were all shops. He found food and other items that could be useful in their journey through the tunnels, including a map. After finding many other useful items and a few useless ones as well as eating a bit of food, he found a clothing shop with many dresses and a single male robe. He grabbed the male robe then went and got changed into it. It was white like all the clothing in the shop. It had a rose on each shoulder. He also grabbed a dress off of one of the racks. It was white just like all the dresses, it had fabric flowers all along the base with a giant white rose in the center of the chest. Maybe after we finish with this quest I should give this to that girl who yelled at me. You know what, I don't think I ever got her name. He looked around some more and found another dress. This one was also white but it was more versatile and could easily be used in combat. It also had a rose in the center of the chest but the length was that of a half dress. Its bottom half only reached to the knees, almost like a skirt. He looked at the first dress then put it back getting two of the same style dress, but the second one being a little more plain.

After looking around in the shop some more he came out with both dresses behind his back. He walked over to Resolve handing the flowered one to her then walked over to the other lady handing her the plain one. He also gave them some food which he had wrapped with cloth then put on top of the dresses. He didn't bother speaking as he hoped the gesture would speak for itself. After handing the ladies the food and half dresses, or whatever they were called, he walked over to the last doorway and looked inside. It was another hall with downward stairs at the end. He looked back at the ladies then pointed inside. After he knew they got the message, he himself entered the tunnel and headed for the stairs only to notice that the floor bellow had thigh deep water. He looked at his robe and decide it would be fine. After all, if it was made by the sirens then it was meant to not absorb water. He stepped in and found it to be quite warm and, just as he had predicted, the robe did not absorb the water. In fact, it looked like it was repelling it. He turned around and looked up the stairs, waiting for the women to follow.

[Liliana Ambria]

Things were warmer only in the sense that they were out of the chilly winds. The girl beside her was next to freezing and Liliana was starting to get concerned with how violently the body was shivering to generate heat. She wasn't too comfy herself and with her gear across the lake she didn't have anything to change into. Still it was only her raw anger towards the food tester that was keeping her warm as they reached the top and saw the boiling bodyparts of the Sirens flooding into the chamber.

A deep sigh of defeat resounded through the chamber even as the fat man waddled off to gods know where. She didn't have any energy left to spare for that man, only disbelief that the putrid scent of boiled flesh was coming from the very creatures they had been fighting upon the lake waters. Her eyes scanning the area she noticed a few torches to illuminate the area, possibly for the keeper of these things, if not the Siren's way of lighting the dark themselves, and grabbed it before handing it to the girl, "Don't burn yourself but use that to keep you warm for now. With luck we might be able to get a campfire going and dry off. If you stop shivering let me know, thats when your body is shutting down."

The words were soft even as the horrid stench of the dead emanated, Liliana was used to it having walked into several Demon Pits, the worst it did was give her a nausea that she could handle. While not pleasant, her job had a few fringe benefits, and this situation was one of the rare occasions she was happy with what she had done. For the second time that day she was thankful of what her time before Seth had given to her. She was more than certain had she not been hunting demons for over half her life, she would have been like Resolve, a shattered wreck who wasn't sure why she was here. Even if Liliana felt that way inside, she knew that she couldn't afford to look it, not in front of the girl.

Her sword was gone, possibly lost in the lake and so all she had was the staff of shadows as she looked about her, and eyes fixed upon the food tester who wordlessly gave them clothes he had found. He then shuffled off like a beaten dog and seemed to indicate where he was going noiselessly before he disappeared. The sound of splashing filled the air before Liliana looked at Resolve and sighed, "I'm half tempted to leave him here. We don't have the time nor the talents to bail him out of every mistake he makes..."

Grabbing another torch Liliana held it closer to her body, feeling the water in the clothes warm up considerably with the high heat exposure and nodded before she said, "We should find someplace dry and start a small fire to dry off, but for now this will have to do..."

The cold freezing feeling reminded her of the day she met Seth, who was nothing more than a two bit thief at the time. He had rescued her when she had been knocked out by a bunch of bandits attempting to waylay the two of them. She had heard form him afterwards that they had jumped onto a river to avoid the bandits and that they had been soaked to the bone. She had awoken naked with an irritable thief who taught her just how much he hadn't cared about her at the time. Of course, that attitude had changed as the two of them had a child together, though still unmarried. She had a feeling that was something they were going to fix, very soon. That left a whimsical smile on her face, at least she had that to look forward to.

Even still the happier memory allowed her the patience to look at the fat man fooling around in the water as she sighed and shook her head speaking up, "No, we don't know if thats connected to the water that Blake drowned in, we might get sick if we tried to ford it, now get out of it. We need a drier route and one that we can use to give her a chance to warm up, she nearly froze to death trying to help you..."

...she didn't feel the need to add the you idiot.

[Resolve]

Resolve saw the concern in Liliana's eyes as she handed her the torch and accepted it gratefully with trembling hands. She forced a smile and nodded, acknowledging the priestess' warning. By the way things were going, Resolve was bound to be the next man down if they didn't finish their mission or find warmth soon. That was a sobering thought.

The torch did help a bit to her great relief, but as the chill lessened she felt a sharp pain in the tips of her fingers. Resolve wasn't going to say anything to worry her team mates after all their unexpected kindnesses, but she understood that as a sign of frostbite and desperately flexed them to encourage blood flow while they waited for Abrinano to return. Her short sword was still strapped to her belt, but in this state she wouldn't be slaying much of anything.

Abrinano had found dry clothes somewhere and that was great, but it wasn't like they could change right there and then. Resolve settled for accepting the dress from him and wrapping her hands in it until they could figure out what to do next, not having any particular interest in the strange food he'd discovered. Needless to say, she was worlds grateful to Liliana for reeling in the giant as he went wandering off in another direction.

"We're supposed to go to the center of the island," Resolve managed to say through chattering teeth. "Is this not it? Is there another structure we missed?" Those last few words were cut off by a low creak, as if the earth around them was shifting. It groaned as it succumbed under new weight and Resolve stepped backwards to meet the wall which, upon contact, she realized was leaking.

The cavern had been reinforced with stone, but water wept from the seams in quickening tears that gathered in streams at their feet. The team couldn't see it happening, but Blake's sword had not been deactivated and was gradually melting every bit of ice on the island, including that which had solidified in the soil and between the boulders, keeping the underground city standing strong. In losing that strength, the chamber was in imminent danger of collapse.

Resolve instinctively latched onto Liliana as the earth and rocks around the orb in the ceiling began to fall, the tangle of roots breaking and dropping the tiny blue sun into the flooded well in the center of the cavern. It splashed, fizzled, sank... and then something miraculous happened.

The water that had flooded the city gradually fell and drained through the pit to make the floor and tunnels navigable once again. However, in losing its the main source of light, the cavern went nearly black as the orb winked out of sight down the hole. They were in crescent moon darkness save the few scattered torches including the one Resolve was clutching in one sad, frostbitten hand.

Bricks began to fall around the three team mates and smashed on the floor with loud crashes, mud dripping down onto their heads as the structure began to give. Resolve's energy found itself renewed in the face of yet another near death experience and she let out a long string of curses just as a chunk of dirt dislodged from the ceiling and hit her arm, knocking the torch from her hand and sending it scattering across the ground toward the pit.

The well continued to glow faintly and as Resolve, covering her head to protect it, scampered over to retrieve their light source, she saw inside and gasped. Her voice was almost drowned out amongst the noise of the crumbling cavern, but it was just loud enough for the others to hear.

"I think it's a portal!"

[Opposites]

Abrinano was surprised to say the least when all the water had drained. He was even more surprised when Resolve called out about a portal. He ran over to the well and looked inside. There Was a purple liquid at the bottom of the well. He stepped back a little bit then jumped right in. He had no idea where it went but anywhere was better then a collapsing city. As he fell into the portal he felt dizzy. The purple substance started to spin. Abrinano closed his eyes to keep himself from getting sick. when he opened them he was lying on his back in front of another portal, probably the one that led to the other portal. He looked around to see if it was safe. It seemed to be. It was in another place that looked exactly like the city he came from except it wasn't flooded. It had actual people in it as well. There was no Sirens to be seen. Everyone there looked at him for a second then continued on with their business. He took out a piece of the paper he used to rate restaurants then started writing.


Restaurant: Other Side of Protal

Stars: 10

Comments: It Is not safe to come through. It is dark as can be and the people aren't friendly

Signature: Abrinano Ticherra Voscinato

After he finished writing he folded it up into a paper plain then threw it through the portal.

I hope they get my message?

*Notice: He thinks normally*

[Liliana Ambria]

When it rained it poured, and for the demon hunter this was a veritable hurricane. The world was beginning to collapse about her all for the simple fact that the Pyrrhic victory that Captain Blake had offered them was even now entrapping them in their very salvation. She felt Resolve cling to her in a panic as the well before them emptied the water in the area rapidly. The portal opening was probably the best thing Liliana had heard of the situation and with the food tester running through she realized that at least he would get himself killed if his idiocy led him to a dangerous spot.

When the paper airplane flew through the portal in response Liliana gripped Resolve and shouted over the din, “He’s safer than here, let’s go!”

She jumped.

It was a leap of faith, something she had not done in forever, but something that she didn’t need to think about. It was the act of choosing hope over despair. That was what being a Seraph of Sintyre was about, what made a Demon Hunter able to continue despite the horrible things they saw with every cult scattered to the winds. No one Demon Hunter could win the war against the Demons of Sintyre, but together, together they formed a counterbalance to the evil and destruction the ancient evil could spread.

When her stomach lurched she let out a cry of triumph recognizing the feeling almost immediately. Sprawled upon the floor she lay there for what felt like forever, her grip on the young girl never slipping before she heard the voices;

“Two more just appeared, I think this was team nine on the southern slopes! Hurry up and bring the blankets, none of them look prepared for the cold weather!”

“They survived the sirens dressed like that?”

“Shut up and grab the blankets!”

A smile lit up her face as people gently lifted up Liliana to a sitting position, and it was only then that she threw up the content of her stomach. Her hand remained resolutely on Resolves hand as she felt a ahnd patting her on the back and asking if she was alright. Of course she wasn’t, but she had had her fill of idiots already and merely ignored them as she managed between coughing fits to purge the bile from her throat, “She’s suffering from Hypothermia and possibly frostbite. Take care of her; I’m only in early hypothermia. Where is that fat fuck?”

The men looked at each other before they nodded and spoke, “He’s nearby, and your group is one of the first to make it. Where is Captain Blake?”

Liliana remained silent on that point as she looked over Resolve and saw the blackened skin that marked the freezing of blood in her veins before barking at the men nearby, “Get the healer its worse than I thought…Resolve, stay with me darling, you gotta stay awake!”

“I hurt, and I’m tired…” came the weak reply.

Liliana moved to support Resolve as she said firmly in her most motherly tone, "You made it this far don’t you dare give up yet. You’re hurting because your body is waking up from the sleep the cold forced on it. And you’re tired because it’s a lot of energy to kick start your body after it wants to shut down. Stay awake darling until the healers get to you, then you can rest I promise you can rest soon alright?”

She felt a soft squeeze on the hand as the girl’s eyes opened and she met Liliana’s before nodding. Liliana carefully helped her up as she looked at the man who raised an eyebrow. She knew what he wanted and still felt angry at the subject at hand. No one had to die if that man could have fought against the influence of the sirens. Liliana shook her head softly before she said firmly, “Captain Blake died giving us the cover we needed to get off the ice. Our obese companion walked out onto the ice of the lake when guided by the sirens and fell into the water. It took me and Resolve to get him out, while Blake went into the water to kill the ones that would undoubtedly push through the ice to get at us as we made our way to the island in the center.”

“We’ll send a team to recover him, anything else you we should know?”

“Two things.”

“Name them,” Their replies were prompt and it was to their credit they at least sounded knowledgeable. Liliana couldn’t have tolerated much stupidity after that.

“First, I want to know who’s bright idea it was to grab all of us in the middle of the night. Second I left my gear back on the beach of the lake, possibly in the water. I need that back if I’m to continue,” Liliana replied firmly. She gently stroked the girl’s hair hopefully calming her after the disorienting ride through the portal. The priestess looked upon the men coming to take the young woman away and waited silently for the reply.

The man scratched embarrassingly behind his head before he replied, “Yeah, apparently there was a mix up in the tournament information and we didn’t know till after the fact that those who signed up didn’t know the date and time were based on where this island was, not their local time zone…”

“So you’re saying everyone was teleported unprepared and unable to be adequately equipped?”

“Again it wasn’t our decision…”

As they took Resolve to the healers Liliana gently squeezed her hand and shouted to her, “I’ll be by shortly to check on you. Don’t worry, they’ll take care of you now…” Her tone took on an icy chill at the end that implied what she was thinking.

…or I will cut them down where they stand.

Looking upon the man she replied firmly, “Get me my equipment and let me send for the rest of my gear and I might be charitable enough to forget this.”

“I’ll see what can be done about it ma’am…” The man rushed off to fill the order as Liliana shakily stood on her feet and watched them carry off Resolve. Moving after the girl she thought back to what she had seen in the caves, ages old instinct kicking in when she realized the truth of the situation.

The ruins that the sirens had been using as a nest were nothing more than the ancient remains of the Demons of Haidia. While not her primary target, they were considered noteworthy to watch. The portal that had opened up was very much like the portals that littered Corone amongst other areas. It was part of the reason why she instinctually jumped, after all there was no threat of looming harm. The Demons would often use those portals to move about the world, and as such would often find safe hidden spots to have the portals empty out into.

While not immediately suspicious, it did give her much to think of as she shambled next to Resolve and gave her a brave smile, trying to look every bit the strong warrior the girl needed right now. She leaned down and whispered softly for her ears only, “I know a lot happened today, when you feel ready to talk about come find me, okay?” The girl looked up from the gurney she was laying upon and met eyes with Liliana before she managed a brave nod. One final squeeze of a hand and Liliana was off to find a place to warm up and dry her clothing. Hoping the girl would come soon, if this was but the first of many tests to be had, Resolve needed to work through her fears now, before they choked her later.

This concludes Liliana's and Resolve's participation in the first round of Adventurer's Crown.

[Opposites]

Abrinano was glad that they had gotten to the end of their quest. While his other teammates getting checked up and ready to find out if they were going to move on, he decided to go and find the closest restaurant in town, he had been waiting to eat all day long. After looking for maybe fifteen minutes he finally found one. It had a lovely smell to it. He ran inside and sat down waiting for a person to serve him. However this was not a regular restaurant, it was fast food. After a couple of minutes waiting he got up and went to the counter. "Welcome to the Quick Fry, may I take your order?"

Abrinano smile "No, May I not have one of everything?"

"Ah Abrinano of the AC tournament group nine, we were told to expect you. One of everything coming up." She got to work making the meal fit for a king. Just like all the other restaurants he had visited, they brought his food out in trays. He ate every single burger, fry, nugget, fish, even ice cream they brought to him.

After he finished he cleaned the table and left.They told him not to write up a report as they were only going to be around for the tournament. The rest of the time that he had for the tournament, he just wandered the streets tasting all the food that the town had to offer. In fact, this was the first time he had ever eaten till he was full.

*End of the Thread*

[Revenant]

Round 1 closed for judgement.

Good luck!

[Revenant]

Plot: (14)

Storytelling (5) – The story behind the thread you guys did was…well different from the others I read, and while not the worst I have judged, this certainly could have gone a bit better. With Opposites whackiness, Vastness…well oddity in the group dynamic, and then Resolve and Liliana’s stoic, stern styles, it told a story where everyone pretty much grabbed the bull by the horns and went for a ride. This was only mitigated by Resolve’s compliance to work with Liliana. Sometimes, this can pay off, but today, the risk didn’t grab you a home run.

Setting (5) – Resolve and Liliana both worked hard to keep their settings at the fore front, never letting it slip. To them, I congratulate you both, and only recommend tossing in a few new senses and ways to bring the vibrancy of a jungle to life. However Vastness you were more of a touch and go, and consistency is key in these tournaments. Opposites, you barely used setting at all, and it left me with nothing but you antics to read, which helps in some areas, but not here unfortunately.

Pacing (4) – As I said earlier in story, you guys each took the bull by the horns and ran with it. A lot of back tracking, a lot of needless, little posts, and a story that never even felt like a story. This was the area I think you guys got nailed the hardest. Communication to keep the story flowing is what you guys can do to improve, so nobody steps on another’s toes.

Character: (15)

Communication (4) – You guys really looked like you just went with the flow instead of talked it out. The only two who showed any sort of communication was Resolve and Liliana. Vastness, your attempts did help, but the character’s inner reflections tended to drown out those moments. Opposites, your character’s speech, while unique, were distracting in a group dynamic in a manner that wasn’t helpful to the tale. Try to tone down the need to use so many opposites, or at least give me something to fill the space from your endless riddles.

Action (5) – Not a whole lot here. There were a great deal of dead moments, and some posts by you opposites were filler posts that did nothing to advance the story save to say you were hungry…I think. I can’t really tell with you. Resolve, I saw several attempts on your part to get a theme going, and Liliana gave it her best, but in the end, the inner group conflict just hurt the whole she-bang in the head.

Persona (6) – I got a good idea of Liliana, her connection to her gods, and why she is the way she is. Same with Resolve, who was a treat to read and learn about. Even Vastness gave me a bit of intriguing ideals for the Space Man. Opposites…I don’t know what, or who you character is. I couldn’t tell if he was a chef, a reporter, or just a fat sack of crap looking for a free meal. I got no direction with your character. Flesh out your characters and go for it. That’s how this score can rise.

Prose: (17)

Mechanics (6) – Tiny little errors can creep up in a timed tournament. That is why, more than ever, one must be vigilant. You cannot let speed take away your quality. More than ever, quality is important in competition, not quality. Liliana – your post 18 had a spacing issue, look out for these in the future. Go back, proofread, and edit.

Clarity (6) – The biggest issue I had was when Vastness said Radioactive level 5.0. I mean…that’s just so off the wall in Althanas I was ripped right out of the reading world. Little asides like that, they can’t be bluntly shoved into a fantasy setting. Opposites, whenever you were involved, you just made me slow down reading, wondering what it was you were even saying. I know this is what your character does, but it’s not helping you score points for clarity. Resolve, you were great in this, with good examples of what to look for in a thread. Good job.

Technique (5) – Half of you showed great techniques, word choice, and other great skills. The other half…not so much. Opposites, this is where your short, three to five sentence posts really hurt the overall score. They are choppy, break the flow, and make it harder for your fellow writer’s to go from there. You need to add meat to your posts, try new and different things and stay away from the trap of keeping with the same style for all your accounts.

Wildcard: (5)

Total: 51

Resolve receives 446exp and 70 gp.
Opposites receives 510 exp and 80 gp.
In the Vastness of Star receives 319 exp and 50 gp.
Lilliana Ambria receives 446 exp and 50 gp.

[Silence Sei]

Exp-GP added!