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Thread: Gaze of Graxis

  1. #11
    Hand of Virtue
    EXP: 87,799, Level: 12
    Level completed: 84%, EXP required for next level: 2,201
    Level completed: 84%,
    EXP required for next level: 2,201
    GP
    16,708
    SirArtemis's Avatar

    Name
    Artemis Eburi
    Age
    28
    Race
    Human (+ Dovicarus)
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Dark Brown and Gray
    Eye Color
    Piercing Blue
    Build
    5'8"
    Job
    Smith

    Artemis hopped to his feet quickly, unsure which direction seemed the safest to go, but before he had time to make a choice he noticed the world around him start to shimmer and flicker. The cavern’s walls started to ripple as though melting away. Artemis looked at his own body and noticed the same effect upon his being.

    “This can’t be good,” he said in a whisper. As he looked up, he watched the man laughing darkly. For whatever reason, the figure did not look bothered.

    Seconds later the ripples and transitions seemed to end and Artemis stood in a rather large cavern complex. The ceiling reached nearly two stories above and had been cut smoothly into a series of domes. Small buildings had been carved out of the stone as well, though still part of the mountain. They were not made as an afterthought it seemed, but rather were created at the same time as the complex itself. As Artemis took a breath in he could feel lost millennia fill his lungs. The taste of forgotten names and memories lingered on his palette like a strongly brewed tea. Wherever he had landed, no whispers had been spoken for countless generations. The silence almost felt like a parasite had sucked every drop of life from the cracks and crevices of time itself.

    More of the white mithril could be found all over, lining what looked like small roads and paths as well as wrapping around each building, though now they appeared as though vines spreading and growing to swallow the entire complex. Even the ceiling seemed overgrown with their invasive glow. They all seemed to extend from a central point – an elevated platform leading to a strange open structure. Upon the dais, a dozen pillars stood, connecting the roof to the cavern floor, and within that chamber a white light brighter than all the rest seemed to flicker.

    Three bodies still lay upon the ground at the feet of the laughing figure, as far away as they had been before the world began to shimmer. The figure seemed particularly interested in the source of light, turning to the dais and moving onward; perhaps he didn’t even realize the young warrior had followed and been so close. Hesitating, Artemis watched, unsure what to do but let the man walk away. When it felt safe, Artemis crouched and hurried over to the three bodies. The first he examined looked dirty, like the man hadn’t showered, carrying a simple steel cutlass on his hips. The second and smaller one seemed a ragged little man wrapped in fur, not even armed. When he came to the third, he rolled the robed figure over and saw the dead eyes of an elf.

    The bodies seemed almost drained, like they’d been rotting for days already. ’Be wary of that man. It seems he uses blood magic. I’ve not seen much of this dark art, but it can be exceptionally powerful and dangerous.’ Artemis looked up, hoping to catch sight of the blood mage once more and follow his trail, feeling wary of Judicis’ warning. He thought he could discern shadows coming from the dais so he walked on. Doing his best to remain hidden while moving fast, he traversed the large open stone surface without a sound, only to discover that the man had already entered the structure. Upon a small podium, a strange orb appeared to be the source of the light.

    “Now, let’s see,” the man said, reaching into his thick coat and pulling out what looked like a scroll of some kind. Strangely, the scroll seemed to be made of an extremely thin form of mithril, and instead of ink the lines were etched into the surface itself. Yet all the same, it seemed to serve the same purpose. The man lifted it before him, unrolling the document, and as he did Artemis shifted quickly off to the side to get a better vantage point at what the man was about to see.

    As the man lifted the scroll, Artemis focused his enhanced vision and saw what looked to be blueprints of some kind. ’That vaguely looks like where we are now . . .’ Artemis thought, recognizing some of the structures he’d noticed as well as the podium where they now stood. What really intrigued Artemis and the man equally was that a small silver-white dot glowed on the map now.

    The man started to laugh, as though overwhelmed with the joy of victory. “Finally!”

    Artemis knew this was it – that spot on the map marked the location. And time was against him. He had to make sure that he got there first. ’Judicis, I’m counting on you to guide me.’ Artemis activated the magic of his ghostly movement, creating a sphere of silence around himself where no sound would enter and no sound would leave. With that in place, he went into a full on sprint across the stone floor toward the spot marked on his map.

    ’There are two floors to the facility, Artemis. It looks like the stairs are on the opposite side of the cavern complex from where the light sphere sits. Head there first. Keep looking around when you have a moment – the more data you give me the more thoroughly I can map everything.’ And Artemis did just that, rushing past buildings that spanned the distance from ground to ceiling. Some even had staircases that climbed the sides of the building to grant access to the second floor, as if these were small residencies. Few structures along the way seemed larger in size and scope and often lacked the staircase – likely simply bigger on the inside. Artemis didn’t have time to look after all.

    His steps took him over various vines of mithril that made it seem like he was traveling through a glowing white metal jungle. When his sprint reached the opposite side of the cavern, which surprisingly spanned hundreds of yards, he rushed down the stairs as they spiraled down along the cavern wall, curling back eventually to a massive space of equal scope and build to the flight above – though here there was significantly more open space and less cover. Artemis had to hurry – if the man reached this point, he’d see Artemis and realize that this expedition had competition.

    Near the center of the complex hung a semi-circular structure with a low ramp up to its center. ’That’s the building.’ Artemis rushed up the ramp, urging himself onward toward the entrance. Once there, he deactivated his sphere of silence and stood looking upon an intricate door with a handle that glowed with the same mithril light that spread through the complex like veins through a body, giving it life and energy. Artemis removed his mask and gloves, reached for the door, and opened it.
    Last edited by SirArtemis; 06-21-16 at 11:55 AM.
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  2. #12
    Hand of Virtue
    EXP: 87,799, Level: 12
    Level completed: 84%, EXP required for next level: 2,201
    Level completed: 84%,
    EXP required for next level: 2,201
    GP
    16,708
    SirArtemis's Avatar

    Name
    Artemis Eburi
    Age
    28
    Race
    Human (+ Dovicarus)
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Dark Brown and Gray
    Eye Color
    Piercing Blue
    Build
    5'8"
    Job
    Smith

    As Artemis stepped into the small spherical chamber, the overwhelming elegance of the space assaulted him. The curved walls shimmered in vibrant colorful arrays, with thousands of opals of varying size and cut creating an unbelievable mosaic. The darkness of the dark stone landscape, even with its shimmering mithril vines, seemed void of light when contrasted with this remarkable room.

    In the center a mithril chain hung from the ceiling upon which a tray had been attached, and on said tray stood a figurine roughly the size of an infant’s head in the shape of a white snow leopard with emerald eyes. Beside the figurine, most out of place of all stood a man in beige robes. His leather sandals matched his mane of brown and gray and contrasted the brightness of the room drastically.

    The two men’s eyes met in silence and awe, like two spooked animals that were equally terrified of one another but didn’t know it. Words collided in Artemis’ mouth, contemplating what to say or ask, and the attempt left his mouth stuffed with unspoken thoughts that refused to come out. An overwhelmingly awkward few seconds passed before the man shifted his gaze to Artemis’ bracer, and as he noticed he immediately softened and relaxed, allowing Artemis to do the same. “Oh, thank goodness,” he began. “For a moment I thought things were about to get violent.”

    Artemis did not know what had changed the man’s demeanor but felt relief that the he didn’t appear an enemy. “I don’t know who you are, but if that’s the artifact, we have to take it and get out of here. We don’t have much time.”

    “What do you mean?” the man asked, sincerely confused. For a moment he seemed almost naïve despite his clear age.

    “There’s a man here who is very dangerous and he’s not far behind. I’m here to make sure he doesn’t get the artifact. We have to take it and leave. Now.”

    The man looked at Artemis quizzically. The idea of imminent danger seemed unfamiliar, but the fact that he was no longer alone in this lost city meant there may be truth to it. Another few moments of silence passed as he reflected on the circumstances, ending with a heavy sigh and closing his eyes. “Fine, give me a moment to deactivate the artifact and then we can go.”

    “How long?”

    “A couple of minutes at least, as this wasn’t exactly meant to be turned on and off regularly.” He gave a look of annoyance, as though this should have been quite clear. He saw Artemis’ concern and dropped the annoyance almost instantly. “Is that a problem?”

    “I don’t know if we have that much time, but I suppose we have no choice.”

    “I will work as quickly as I can, within reason. I would prefer not to harm the artifact or cause an accident of some kind.”

    Artemis gave a quick nod, donning his mask once more. “Meet me outside of the room as quickly as you can. Hopefully we will have the time we need, but if not, I’ll do what I can to distract him long enough for you to finish.” He turned and walked back out, closing the door as he walked down the ramp. He looked around for a ledge or vantage point but could find none. The buildings didn’t have windows and their ceilings were melded into the roof of the entire chamber, offering no high ground or vantage point.

    Instead he simply hid behind a building, knowing where the enemy would be coming from, and waited attentively.
    Last edited by SirArtemis; 06-14-16 at 08:18 PM.
    2011 Althy Winner - Most Realistic Character
    2016 Althy Winner - Best Contributor & Player of the Year (tie)

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  3. #13
    Hand of Virtue
    EXP: 87,799, Level: 12
    Level completed: 84%, EXP required for next level: 2,201
    Level completed: 84%,
    EXP required for next level: 2,201
    GP
    16,708
    SirArtemis's Avatar

    Name
    Artemis Eburi
    Age
    28
    Race
    Human (+ Dovicarus)
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Dark Brown and Gray
    Eye Color
    Piercing Blue
    Build
    5'8"
    Job
    Smith

    Artemis waited patiently, hoping against all odds that the man had gotten distracted and decided to explore the complex. Unfortunately, his instinct told him that the man was here for one thing only and would not be distracted. Nearly two minutes after stepping out, he could hear the patter of footsteps descending the massive staircase, echoing louder with each one as the sound came closer.

    The young warrior continued to wait silently, shifting Judicis into the form of a bow and drawing a magical projectile of black energy into the weapon as he waited.

    “Ah, so many have sought you, and yet you are finally mine,” the man said, looking upon the chamber that he knew to be the location of the artifact.

    Just as the man passed the periphery of the building where Artemis stood, the young man stepped out from the shadows to fire at the man. The projectile struck the target cleanly, yet as it did the magic dispersed as though striking a barrier of sorts around the man.

    “Hmm?” the man looked confused at the sudden strike upon his shielding. He turned toward the source, noticing Artemis standing there with his bow drawn. “And who might you be?” he asked, more to himself than anything.

    ’It’s him,’ Judicis whispered urgently. ’That’s Krysteave!’

    The lord smiled as he began to walk toward Artemis. He raised a hand and a bolt of red and black energy surged out of his fingers at the young man.

    Artemis tumbled away, taking cover behind the building and watched stone wall crack where the bolt struck. “Why are you doing this?” he yelled from around the corner. “Why did you kill those men? Haven’t you hurt enough people in your wild hunt?”

    “And who are you exactly to question me?” he called into the distance, the pompous tone of nobility wrapped around his words. “I need power. What more explanation does one need?”

    Another bolt struck the building hard, taking a large chunk of stone from the wall. Artemis quickly turned around the opposite side of the square house and glanced around the corner, teleporting to another building and hoping he remained unseen. He conjured a crimson mist this time and let fly at the caster. Again the missile struck the barrier, flashing slightly upon impact but showing no other effect.

    “That’s an interesting toy you have. Maybe I’ll take that as well after I’ve killed you.” As he ended the sentence, he cackled wildly, conjuring tendrils around Artemis’ feet and binding him in place. “Now just stay still!”

    Artemis returned Judicis to his passive form as a bracer and pulled out his daggers in one swift movement, slicing down to free himself from the bindings and turned behind the building once more. “What do you intend to do once you get this artifact? Do you think you’ll be safe when others find out what you have?” Artemis hoped that the man was like most arrogant men, glad to tell his evil plan under the pretense of bragging and the assumption of victory. He just needed more time.

    “I’ll take all of Salvar, that’s what I’ll do! Every lord will bend their knee and pledge fealty to ME. The Sway will bow to me, they will work for me. Armies will march for me. Ladies from every walk of life will grovel and serve my desires. I will have what is mine!” He laughed again, and then began mumbling softly under his breath. Artemis began to worry, taking a moment to peek around the corner and saw a ball of dark energy being conjured in the man’s hands.

    ’Oh shit,’ Artemis thought, and quickly broke out in a sprint away from the structure. Seconds later an explosion rocked the cave, its rumble echoing through the closed complex and vibrating through Artemis’ very bones. The blast launched him forward nearly a dozen yards as his body slammed into another of the stone structures, barely giving way while knocking the wind out of Artemis. His daggers clanged as they hit the ground but he quickly scooped them back up, looking at where the lord stood.

    Artemis charged at the man and closed the distance fast, expecting another spell from the caster; instead, the man opened his arms wide in acceptance of the attack smiling even wider, causing Artemis to reconsider. Deciding against striking with his blade, Artemis channeled a burst of his elemental magic into a fist of lightning and struck the lord in the face, watching as his foe absorbed the blow like he were being struck by a child. He turned back at Artemis and blasted him with a forceful wave of the red and black magic, launching him away as his body slid across the smooth stone surface.

    Artemis lay upon the ground, numb from the shocking blow and disoriented. He looked up to notice the blood mage walking toward him, hands weaving another spell and mumbling.
    Last edited by SirArtemis; 06-21-16 at 11:43 AM.
    2011 Althy Winner - Most Realistic Character
    2016 Althy Winner - Best Contributor & Player of the Year (tie)

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  4. #14
    Hand of Virtue
    EXP: 87,799, Level: 12
    Level completed: 84%, EXP required for next level: 2,201
    Level completed: 84%,
    EXP required for next level: 2,201
    GP
    16,708
    SirArtemis's Avatar

    Name
    Artemis Eburi
    Age
    28
    Race
    Human (+ Dovicarus)
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Dark Brown and Gray
    Eye Color
    Piercing Blue
    Build
    5'8"
    Job
    Smith

    Realizing the urgency he teleported once more, this time right behind the lord, and shoved a dagger straight through where the man’s liver should have been. The weapon managed to ignore the magical barrier and strike true. However, the blood mage launched a powerful elbow into Artemis’ face, followed quickly by a second, leaving Artemis to release the dagger and fall backward. The blow was of unnatural strength, and even Artemis felt a crunch of bone in his jaw.

    “What a disappointing fool you are. And here I hoped for at least a smidge of fun.” He pulled the dagger out of his back and then raised his free hand in the air once more, forming a dense ball of black and red energy in his palm. “Oh well,” he said jovially.

    Artemis looked on when in a sudden and brief moment the man lost concentration as pain spread across his face. Without hesitation, the young man blinked across the room again, this time further away and out of the sight of the blood mage. He leaned his body up against a small building that resembled many of the others.

    “Where did you run off to this time you coward?” the man yelled angrily. “Don’t you try to get away from me!” His voice had changed, almost corrupt with a sinister voice within. “It’s mine! Do you hear me? It’s mine and you’ll never get it!” As he finished, the chamber suddenly shook violently. Artemis looked to the source and saw the aftermath of what looked like a small explosion. A moment later, another rumble not far from the first hinted at the desperation in the blood mage. Again and again he lobbed what looked like balls of dark red and black energy that pulsed for a moment before erupting and devastating the nearby area. He laid waste to the environment needlessly, destroying architecture and history and memories that didn’t belong to him with the selfishness of a child who wanted more candy and was denied.

    'Damn, it's like he isn't even bothered by the wound.' Hoping he was wrong and that the stab did something, Artemis sheathed his other weapon and called upon Judicis, drawing crimson energy once more as he ran across the open room and began firing bolt after bolt at the man. They seemed to continue to disperse, but the blood mage grimaced in pain with each strike, giving Artemis hope.

    The blood mage conjured what looked like three spears of energy and shot them at the young warrior. He avoided two but the third pierced the side of his abdomen, burning like fire, before the weapon exploded in a burst of shock sending a wave of overwhelming agony through the very core of Artemis. He stumbled at the pain, landing hard against the stone floor.

    “You piece of filth. You think you have what it takes to defeat me?” Again the man approached Artemis, still seemingly unphased by his wound. “You’re nothing but another obstacle in my way. An obstacle that shouldn’t even BE HERE!” He threw back Artemis’ weapon in a taunting way, as though offering him a weapon and knowing it wouldn’t do any good. “Take your little butter knife,” he offered, beginning to weave another spell now that both hands were free.

    Suddenly, thorny vines of icy blue appeared to wrap around the body of the blood mage. Confusion splayed across the lord's face, causing him to lose concentration long enough for his own magic to dissipate. Not willing to ask questions, Artemis stood quickly and brought the weapon up and pierced the man’s heart, the enchantments on the blade allowing the weapon to pass through skin and bone and muscle alike as though it were butter. He hoped at least this would harm the man.

    The man grimaced in pain, staring at Artemis angrily as he couldn’t suppress a cough. His eyes glowed with the same sinister red and black energy as he erupted with a wave of dark energy, shattering the blue vines and sending Artemis flying back for the third time. The force launched him into one of the few standing buildings, the stone cracking under the force of the blow as well as a few of Artemis’ ribs.

    He could see the robed man standing on the ramp to the room, figurine held in one hand. The vines were likely his doing, but it seemed they weren’t enough. “What are you doing?!” he screamed at the blood mage. “You’ll kill us all, you bloody fool!”

    'His magic is healing him, Artemis. He's drawing from some source of power, preventing the wounds from killing him even if he feels some of the pain. Perhaps it's related to his shielding?' Judicis' comment concerned the young warrior, as he worried that there would be no way to stop the blood mage.
    Last edited by SirArtemis; 06-14-16 at 08:19 PM.
    2011 Althy Winner - Most Realistic Character
    2016 Althy Winner - Best Contributor & Player of the Year (tie)

    Artemis Eburi Wiki Page
    Current Character Profile

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    Hidden Beneath The Canopy (75)
    Lost Loot of Lornius (74)

  5. #15
    Hand of Virtue
    EXP: 87,799, Level: 12
    Level completed: 84%, EXP required for next level: 2,201
    Level completed: 84%,
    EXP required for next level: 2,201
    GP
    16,708
    SirArtemis's Avatar

    Name
    Artemis Eburi
    Age
    28
    Race
    Human (+ Dovicarus)
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Dark Brown and Gray
    Eye Color
    Piercing Blue
    Build
    5'8"
    Job
    Smith

    “Arrogance truly is a disgusting trait,” the blood mage said in a tired tone. His entire body wrapped itself in sinister red and black. His features fell away and were replaced by the avatar of the magic itself, as though energy had simply taken on the form of a person. He held his arms above his head, conjuring a sextet of magical blades and launched them at the robed man. Not a single blade missed, piercing the man all over the body and pinning him back into the stone of the room he had come from.

    The artifact had flown out of the man’s hands, flying across the room and sliding along the floor. Artemis looked at it through the pain, terrified of the blood mage realizing what he had just risked destroying. Though admittedly, it seemed reason had left him.

    Suddenly the entire complex began to growl and rumble, as though inside the stomach of a terrible beast. Artemis watched the avatar walk toward the robed man, his energy crackling like a hungry bonfire.

    “Stop! You’re going to . . . destroy the entire complex!” The robe man yelled between a violent cough. He seemed distressed, but Artemis couldn’t tell if it was from the swords puncturing his flesh or the fear of what he warned would come.

    The avatar walked up the ramp to the robed figure, still struggling against the weapons with a strange urgency, and lifted a hand to his throat. The man choked and struggled, and while pinned the avatar absorbed the blades of energy back into his being. He lifted the robed man and then threw him with unbelievable strength launching him across the vast open expanse. He landed nearly thirty yards away, his body tumbling along the destruction that the earlier display had caused.

    The robed figure lay motionless, and Artemis feared the worst. He began to rise to his feet, watching the avatar walk toward him and weave what were once hands into another spell. The man lifted a fist up high into the air, smashing it down and sending a ripple of shock through the stone floor. The cavern roared with the aftershock and Artemis pulled out his other blade, holding both up ahead of him in the hope that the dehlar coating would help absorb some of the shock. He braced himself and grimaced as the painful wave passed over him.

    The cavern seemed to be under tremendous strain, like a sheet of ice with more weight than it could bear. Artemis knew there wasn’t much time left. Whatever the robed figure was worried about, it was coming. He sheathed his weapons again and hurried behind the building, knowing the man knew the trick by now but hoping he still could buy a few more seconds. He looked over to where the artifact was, clutching his ribs through the pain.

    ’Just two left,’ he thought, his breath labored and short. He teleported to the artifact, grabbing it quickly and holding it with his free hand and looked over to the wounded robed figure – or perhaps dead. ’Too far,’ he realized. He had one short range teleport left, his power limited, and with just a fifty yard range he’d have to get to the man while trying to run through the pain.

    The avatar turned, seeing where he had gone, beginning to cast once more. Artemis began to hear chanting in a strange tongue, different from before and bizarre coming from the figure as he didn’t seem to have lips or a tongue. He raised his hands above his head, conjuring a ball of energy that began to grow. Artemis limped toward the robed figure as quickly as he could, watching the orb grow in size and ripple with energy. He knew that if that attack struck, things would end.

    The walls of the complex suddenly began to crack, whatever was straining them clearly becoming a much bigger concern. Perhaps this is what the robed figure warned of. ’Almost . . . a few more yards . . . ‘ Artemis grunted through the pain, using his last teleport. He was just ten yards from the robed figure, limping onward. Two brief seconds passed before a shout from the avatar signified the climax of the spell, but Artemis didn’t turn back. He urged himself onward, knowing the spell had been directed at him, even after his teleport. He could almost feel the energy behind him, rushing toward him with destructive urgency.

    The cavern started to collapse, the roof cracking as the floor above collapsed. The mithril vines lost their source of power and sent the entire complex into an utter darkness. All Artemis could see was a faint red glow illuminating the body in front of him. He lunged forward, one hand holding the artifact, and threw himself onto the body of the robed man. He activated the magical tattoo on his arm, a teleport made for travel rather than combat, and held onto the man in desperation. The last thing he saw was a ball of red and black the size of an elephant just a moment away.

    As the magic took hold Artemis felt a strange and overwhelming rush of energy run through him. He and the robed man were pulled out of the lost civlization’s site, landing on the hillock outside the Gate of Bordayllum, where Graxis had left Artemis earlier that very same day. When they arrived, Artemis heard a massive explosion off in the distance. As he turned to the north, toward Mount Rutherglen, he saw the rocky peak collapse in on itself. Massive shards of the stone mountain flew outward as whatever the robed man warned about finally happened. Artemis’ vision then blurred, and as the tallest mountain of the Kalev Highlands lost right to its title, Artemis blacked out.
    Last edited by SirArtemis; 06-14-16 at 08:20 PM.
    2011 Althy Winner - Most Realistic Character
    2016 Althy Winner - Best Contributor & Player of the Year (tie)

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    Hidden Beneath The Canopy (75)
    Lost Loot of Lornius (74)

  6. #16
    Hand of Virtue
    EXP: 87,799, Level: 12
    Level completed: 84%, EXP required for next level: 2,201
    Level completed: 84%,
    EXP required for next level: 2,201
    GP
    16,708
    SirArtemis's Avatar

    Name
    Artemis Eburi
    Age
    28
    Race
    Human (+ Dovicarus)
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Dark Brown and Gray
    Eye Color
    Piercing Blue
    Build
    5'8"
    Job
    Smith

    When Artemis regained consciousness there was still light painting the sky, though the sun itself had dipped beyond the horizon. Kneeling over him was the robed man, his hands glowing a soft blue as he placed them over Artemis’ ribs.

    “I thought you . . . were dead . . .” Artemis said groggily before letting out a rough cough.

    “Don’t speak,” the man said softly. “The magic is still stitching together the tearing of your stomach lining.” Artemis lay there quietly, his breathing shallow as the man concentrated. Seconds passed quietly as the gentle breeze of the area rolled over Artemis body, as though embracing him with a loving caress. “You saved me,” the man said quietly while he worked.

    “How are you alive?” Artemis replied, barely more than a whisper.

    “If you thought me dead then even more reason to thank you; you risked your life to save the body of a dead man.” His laugh sounded like a man who wasn’t sure what else to do; as though laughter seemed the best default reaction to go with here. "Magic saved me, just as it is helping you right now."

    Artemis turned his head to look around the area and noticed the figurine where the man knelt. “So we got the artifact,” he smiled weakly.

    “Yes,” the man smiled back. “By the way, what is your name? We never had a proper introduction.”

    “Artemis,” he answered. “Artemis Eburi.”

    “My name is Amitiel,” the robed figure replied. “It is a pleasure to meet another disciple of Khal’Jaren.” Artemis looked at him with a look of utter confusion, not sure what Amitiel meant. “Ah,” he said, realizing his mistake. “Forgive me. I assumed because of your artifact, you too were a follower.”

    “My artifact? What artifact?” Artemis spoke defensively, though for no reason he could articulate.

    “The bracer you wear,” the man replied. “I imagine that is one of the legendary artifacts Khal'Jaren crafted while still upon our plane.”

    Artemis lifted his forearm, glancing at Judicis. “What?” was all he managed to say. The young man even sensed Judicis’ confusion, reaffirming his notion that if Judicis didn’t know his maker to be Khal’Jaren, then certainly this robed man was wrong. "What makes you think so?"

    “Khal’Jaren speaks to me, as I am a tool for his learning. When you arrived, he told me that you wore his magic, and that you could be trusted.” He paused, seeing Artemis' blank expression. “It doesn't matter, forget I said anything."

    “What were you doing there?” Artemis asked, changing the conversation. “How did you even get in?”

    “I’ve been there for years. Khal’Jaren aided me in my entry and tasked me to research what I could of the lost civilization. He is unable to come to our plane freely, as his energy reacts poorly to the Tap and can cause devastating effect. And as a fragment of the Tap had landed within the outpost, the proximity would have been disastrous. That is why I panicked when the other man began aggressively using his magic.”

    “Though he did not realize it, his proximity was pulling heavily from the fragment that was nearby. For him he likely just felt a rush of power. Blood magic comes in many forms. It seemed this man stores his power and draws upon it when he needs, enhancing and molding it with the power of the Tap. His use of blood magic clearly did not resonate well with the fragment and as he drew tremendously from the nearby fragment as well as his own reserves, he began to destabilize the energy. When I woke and looked over at the mountain, it looked much smaller. I expect the fragment, which was already quite unstable, imploded from his abuse of power; more the reason for me to thank you for saving me, as I most certainly would have died in the aftermath.” He paused, realizing he had been rambling. “How exactly did you get in seems the more interesting question.”

    “I was following him,” Artemis began, feeling better now that the magic had been at work. “I watched as he seemed to drain three people of life to cast a spell. It was like he hit the shielding and next thing I know, I’m in some stone town.”

    “Outpost actually,” Amitiel corrected, “and I expect that he struck the exterior with tremendous force, causing it to ripple. Almost like a wave, and as the wave passed over, the two of you were able to dunk your way into the outpost itself. Fascinating. Though unfortunate for those used for the spell.” He spoke as though he were reading from a textbook, emotionless and simply calculating consequences. “Forgive me,” he said, “I haven’t spoken to anyone in many years. Perhaps I’ve lost a bit of manners.” He reached for the artifact and then rose to his feet, offering his free hand to help Artemis up. With a grunt, the young man rose, standing beside him. “Here, you were looking for this,” Amitiel said as he extended the figurine.

    Artemis took it, looking down at the intricate design. Only then did he notice the faintest etching of script tracing along the body of the feline. “I don’t even know how to use it,” Artemis admitted, turning it in his hand.

    Amitiel reached over, placing a hand upon Judicis with a smile. “And now you do.”

    “Hmm,” Artemis sighed softly, wondering if there was any truth to what the man said about Judicis. “Thank you,” he said, holding onto the artifact.

    “I think it’s time we part ways,” Amitiel said. “Now that my mission is over with Khal’Jaren, I’ll have a small reprieve before I begin anew. Perhaps we will cross paths again.” The man extended his hand to Artemis.

    “Let’s stay in touch,” Artemis said, clasping the robed man’s hand in his own. “I have a little trinket that can let me reach out to you, if that’s ok.” The man nodded, giving Artemis permission. “Initus Amitiel,” he said clearly. The robed man felt the magic, acknowledging and accepting it with a smile. “Terminus.”

    “Neat item,” he laughed softly. “I’ll have to study it someday. Khal’Jaren watch over you,” he added with a wink, stepping away and pulling out an item from one of his robe’s pockets. As he did, blue vines similar to the ones before erupted from the ground and wrapped around the man, pulling him down and into the ground and away from sight. With that he was gone and Artemis stood alone, holding the artifact that had almost cost him his life.
    Last edited by SirArtemis; 06-14-16 at 08:23 PM.
    2011 Althy Winner - Most Realistic Character
    2016 Althy Winner - Best Contributor & Player of the Year (tie)

    Artemis Eburi Wiki Page
    Current Character Profile

    Solo Quests:
    Hidden Beneath The Canopy (75)
    Lost Loot of Lornius (74)

  7. #17
    Hand of Virtue
    EXP: 87,799, Level: 12
    Level completed: 84%, EXP required for next level: 2,201
    Level completed: 84%,
    EXP required for next level: 2,201
    GP
    16,708
    SirArtemis's Avatar

    Name
    Artemis Eburi
    Age
    28
    Race
    Human (+ Dovicarus)
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Dark Brown and Gray
    Eye Color
    Piercing Blue
    Build
    5'8"
    Job
    Smith

    Epilogue


    After Amitiel had left, Artemis walked the same path he had earlier that day, passing through walls until Nevette had found him once again. She escorted him through the keep to the same room, taking a completely different route, and Artemis told them of the events that had transpired. Jacob held back tears, unsure whether to feel remorse or relief. With Krysteave gone, he would take the Lordship and rule the area – hopefully with more generosity. Nevette seemed relieved as well, though clearly for other reasons, but had not seemed overly concerned.

    Once the meeting had concluded, Artemis had walked back to the church of the Thayne. Seeing he was alone, he pulled out the trinket Graxis had given him and softly spoke his name. Within moments, his body was tugged across Althanas to a cavern tucked into the Zaileya Mountains of Fallien.

    Graxis stood with hands behind his back, wearing a smile that seemed to fit so well yet strangely at the same time. “I’m relieved to see you so soon. I had expected your task to take some time.”

    “I had some help,” Artemis confessed, looking at the elf through exhausted eyes.

    “And you’ve certainly earned some rest,” he acknowledged. “By the way, now that you have the artifact, have you considered what to do with it? If you’d like, I can keep it here for safe keeping.”

    Artemis had thought on that during his walk to the keep, the thirty odd minutes gave him enough time to run through his day as well as see the people of the keep once more. “I think I want to try to establish a town of my own,” Artemis said, almost embarrassed. “It’s something I’ve considered in the past, though at the time I’d wanted to do it along the mountains south of Knife’s Edge. You know, along the northern side of the mountains that draw the border of Salvar. Thought the climate would be better there. But . . . after seeing the Kalev Highlands, maybe I can use this artifact and settle a town up there. The mountains have this marvelous effect that makes everything so temperate. It’s really remarkable.” He paused, almost feeling more doubtful now that he heard his own idea aloud. "I don't know . . . it's just a thought."

    Graxis nodded, walking over to Artemis. “I think that’s a fantastic idea,” he said as he placed a hand upon Artemis shoulder. “In fact, I have just the thing that can help. Judicis imparted a bit of information about how your abilities work last we spoke, and so I know you have a few ocular abilities. I have one of my own, and if what I know of your magical nature holds true, you’ll be able to absorb and utilize it.” Graxis closed his eyes, mumbling an incantation in an unknown language. Artemis felt a rush of energy through his body – similar, he realized, to the one he felt when he’d teleported away. “If my assumptions are correct, I think you now have it.”

    Artemis stood dumbfounded, not sure what to make of the situation. “What exactly do I have, and how do I use it?”

    “It is an ability I possess that I developed with the help of Judicis long ago. It allowed me to see the nature of those I met, as though seeing into their very souls. When you look upon a sentient creature, you will see how deeply it aligns with good and evil. Most people fall into a hazy gray area in the middle, but some lean more to one side than the other. Keep in mind that it is intention that drives this, not action. After all, killing as an example is not inherently evil, if done to protect ones you love.” He gave Artemis a warm smile, patting him on the shoulder before releasing his grip and stepping back. “Perhaps I can keep the artifact safe for you then until you settle the plans you have for this town?”

    Artemis nodded, grateful for the offer. “I think that’s the most practical thing to do. Speaking of, I felt something similar, when I teleported away and held the artifact. It felt like what just happened – the rush of energy through my body.” As he finished, he lifted the Artifact, looking at the emerald eyes of the elegant white feline figurine. “Do you think . . .”

    Graxis took the artifact from the man, raising an eyebrow as he did. “That I do not know. Perhaps you gained ability similar to the one the artifact has? Some sort of cloaking?”

    Artemis shook his head, not even wanting to go down that line of thought after such a day. “Maybe. Who knows. I’ll have to worry about that later. For now, I just want to go home.”

    “A valid want indeed. I’ll keep the artifact safe. For now, get some rest and see if you can master your new ability, or abilities.” Artemis gave the elf a nod, not having much else to say. “And Artemis . . . Thank you.”



    Meanwhile, in the Hold of Hamorearm


    “Do you think we should have told him? I mean, I know he's a lowlander, but it still feels wrong,” Jacob commented to Nevette, sitting at the liviol desk in the center of the room where they had met earlier. He had begun working on the endless paperwork that came with the change in lordship.

    “What would it have changed?” she asked, sitting on the bed with crossed legs and facing the man. “It’s incentive enough to stop a war. Whatever other threats lie in wait aren’t of consequence.”

    “It just feels a bit unjust. He seems a good man – a trustworthy man. One who I’d like to keep on good terms with if we need him again. I don’t want him to feel betrayed.” He melted some sealing wax under a candle flame that flickered, lighting the room as night had come. He let a few drops fall upon the parchment he worked on and pressed his ring into the soft substance to leave his impression – a hammer over five interlocking stars.

    “I don’t think it’s an issue, really.” She stood, walking over to the window. “Besides . . . if things go as I expect, he’ll know soon enough.”

    Nevette Adylon stood at the window, looking out at the mountain where the explosion had happened just hours before. With the protection of the artifact gone, she could finally seek what had evaded her for so many years. Krysteave’s obsession had benefited her quite a bit as it happens. A secret from the War of the Old Gods, long forgotten, lay buried beneath that hidden outpost - a piece of an Old God, in fact.

    And Nevette was going to find it.
    Last edited by SirArtemis; 06-14-16 at 08:24 PM.
    2011 Althy Winner - Most Realistic Character
    2016 Althy Winner - Best Contributor & Player of the Year (tie)

    Artemis Eburi Wiki Page
    Current Character Profile

    Solo Quests:
    Hidden Beneath The Canopy (75)
    Lost Loot of Lornius (74)

  8. #18
    Hand of Virtue
    EXP: 87,799, Level: 12
    Level completed: 84%, EXP required for next level: 2,201
    Level completed: 84%,
    EXP required for next level: 2,201
    GP
    16,708
    SirArtemis's Avatar

    Name
    Artemis Eburi
    Age
    28
    Race
    Human (+ Dovicarus)
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Dark Brown and Gray
    Eye Color
    Piercing Blue
    Build
    5'8"
    Job
    Smith

    Out of Character:

    Spoils Requested

    Gaze of Graxis: Artemis has been gifted a power by Graxis that will allow him to determine how good or evil someone is across a spectrum. Most people fall into a gray area but lean toward goodliness, as their intentions do not come from malice. Artemis will be able to see how malicious they truly are as a person. This does not speak to certain actions, as acts themselves do not carry good or evil, but rather the intention behind them does. This will appear as an increase in blue in goodliness and red signifying evil, starting at a base gray.

    Shimmering Cloak: Artemis' body has replicated the power of the artifact he sought on his mission. He is able to activate a cloaking field around himself that renders him almost completely invisible while active. If stationary, it is practically impossible to see him. When moving, someone may notice ripples in the air similar to the way one does when looking down a hot road in the summer. Once noticed, they would have to actively seek him out but it would still be difficult. This ability renders him undetectable by any visual method, including but not limited to subsequent abilities that detect heat, magic, radar, or plain visible light. Duration and uses will be determined in the ROG upon level 10.

    Cloaking Artifact: Graxis currently takes care of the artifact for safekeeping, but Artemis now has a cloaking device that can effectively hide up to ten square miles of space, effectively rendering an area impossible to detect or enter. He intends to found a small town with the artifact in the Kalev Highlands that can be a haven for those who seek asylum from the tumult of Althanas. The artifact will be set up and activated and people will not be able to enter or leave without knowing how to do so - which Artemis will keep a well guarded secret in order to ensure secrecy.


    Finally, please remember to note the use of the treasure map - which in this story is the blueprint - for the 500% gp bonus.
    2011 Althy Winner - Most Realistic Character
    2016 Althy Winner - Best Contributor & Player of the Year (tie)

    Artemis Eburi Wiki Page
    Current Character Profile

    Solo Quests:
    Hidden Beneath The Canopy (75)
    Lost Loot of Lornius (74)

  9. #19
    Reaching beyond the stars
    EXP: 4,150, Level: 2
    Level completed: 72%, EXP required for next level: 850
    Level completed: 72%,
    EXP required for next level: 850
    GP
    2,555
    Gnarl & Root's Avatar

    Name
    Gnarl
    Race
    Human
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Brown
    Eye Color
    Blue

    View Profile
    Just a note, your spoils will be approved by the ROG team, not myself. So look out for that afterwards.
    Judgment Name: Gaze of Graxis
    Judgment Type: Full Rubric
    Name of Participant: Sir Artemis

    Commentary:

    Story: (7 of 10 Points)

    The base of the story and what you were aiming for here was good. However, there were a few questions that popped up, which in turn stopped it from reaching any great heights.

    Artemis clearly has a strong faith in Judicis, and followed everything without a fault. This, at times, took away from the story to the point that Artemis just accepted whatever everyone said, because Judicis knew everything about them - So why worry? While you painted a picture of a gritty unfair place to live, it lacked the edge because Artemis never really questioned much about it. I'll go into this more on persona.

    Otherwise, it was small things that didn't always make complete sense. An example from post fourteen:
    Artemis looked on when in a sudden and brief moment the man lost concentration as pain spread across his face.
    It was difficult to understand why he was suddenly struck down with pain? A couple of small things like this never felt completely understandable.

    It's not always easy writing a story that's all about stopping the bad guy so he can't become all powerful. You did it well but stuck too closely to allow yourself breathing room for further development for both characters storylines and potential side stories. Despite these, however, this reader did enjoy the small twist in the final scene, which, your story benefitted from. As without it, everything seemed just too simple and expected.


    Setting: (7 of 10 Points)

    Mostly this was rather solid, with clear vivid descriptions and appropriate adjectives. You used some nice metaphors to bring certain scenes to life and your first explanation of the fortified town was great. Example from post four:
    Artemis turned his gaze beyond the wall to an even more impressive structure, using his enhanced hawk-eyed vision to examine the seven-story monstrosity. The architecture resembled an hourglass with an exceptionally wide center; a quartet of pillars acted as support for the elegant design. The limited access to the higher floors likely served as a defensive advantage to ensure that the leaders remained secure at the top. A trio of walls surrounded the keep adding layers of protection beyond the massive barrier splitting the region from the rest of Salvar.
    However, this reader did struggle on your transitions. You use a lot of magical ideas to shift scenes, especially when within the mountain. However, it wasn't always easy understanding what was happening or where Artemis now was. Slowing these down a little would have helped, as your transitions on these scenes were quick and instant.

    The biggest issue that halted your score, though, was post fourteen to fifteen. This reader found the entire section difficult to gage in terms of where Artemis was and what was actually happening. You had a lot in this room / cavern to work with, yet it felt confusing and messy, rather than clear and descriptive. Some examples:

    His entire body wrapped itself in sinister red and black. His features fell away and were replaced by the avatar of the magic itself, as though energy had simply taken on the form of a person.
    I couldn't picture this. What is the avatar of the magic itself? The colour is great, but without something to add the colour too it falls short.

    The artifact had flown out of the man’s hands, flying across the room and sliding along the floor. Artemis looked at it through the pain, terrified of the blood mage realizing what he had just risked destroying.
    This was difficult because this reader couldn't picture where in the room anything/anyone was. A lot of your characters actions were not in sync with the scenery, and therefore it made it difficult to understand and picture in my head. An example to explain what I mean.

    The artifact flew out of the man's hand, crashing into the stone floor and coming to halt upon the crumpled debris of the collapsed building. Artemis, fearful of how close the blood mage had come to destroying the artifact, watched wearily from the cracked decaying wall he still leant against.
    You had a lot happening in these posts, so a little direction to where things were happening would have helped a lot here. You did this a little with the use of the ramp, but it needed more.

    Another thing worth mentioning to your compliment is smell and colour. It is something often forgotten, and you used this at times, powerfully.

    Pacing: (7 of 10 Points)

    Overall pacing was fairly good. Nothing lagged too long anywhere, and nothing, despite a fairly sudden ending, felt out of place.
    I refer back to posts fourteen and fifteen for where it struggled a little, but this relates more to how it was described. As the fight continued it started to feel like the fight this reader had been waiting for, but it would have been better placed had the main antagonist had a bigger introduction. Your story told so much about him, and even showed he had no remorse to get where he now was(killing the three men) but the fight just happens and lacked an introduction.

    Character:

    Communication: (8 of 10 Points)

    Communication was a strong point for you. Your speech is powerful at times and appropriate to the situation. It also helped evoke the emotion that felt missing at times and it didn't feel cheesy or cliché.

    Being more critical, it sometimes felt like Artemis was too formal. Even the most conformed people show emotion in their speech upon certain situations. You did this well for other characters, but while I appreciated the formal trusting friendship between Judicis and Artemis, it would have been better to see more from Artemis as he interacted with further characters.

    An example from post sixteen:
    “I was following him,” Artemis began, feeling better now that the magic had been at work. “I watched as he seemed to drain three people of life to cast a spell. It was like he hit the shielding and next thing I know, I’m in some stone town.”
    That is being critical, though. As I appreciated the dialogue throughout and thought it was done very well. Feeding a strong emotion into this would have raised this score into the highest points. As well as further internal thought.

    Action: (6 of 10 Points)

    Your action was generally solid and clear. There was no confusion to what your character was doing or interacting with except for posts fourteen to fifteen as I previously mentioned. However, it would have been nice to see Artemis interact with more within the world. He noticed a lot but didn't really interact with it. The moments and scenes you describe gave plenty opportunity, but there was a distance between himself and the world he walked in. Examples:

    Post five:
    Artemis even noticed a particularly beautiful field of sunflowers growing a few kilometers away.
    Post six:
    Artemis started to notice the somber mood of the people. Smiles were exceptionally rare among the folk here.
    Post sixteen:
    Artemis turned his head to look around the area and noticed the figurine where the man knelt.
    You start to notice a pattern here. As regardless to what he notices, he never really interacts with it. Using your actions, when you did, came across well, but investing some more adjectives to his actions would really add to his personality and to the feeling of the piece.

    Persona: (6 of 10 Points)

    Artemis is very formal in general, and this at times, struggled to convey the emotion he was feeling. You create a bridge between Artemis and the reader by using the term "the man" an awful lot. This, while causing confusion between which "man" you were referring to at times, removed emotion from his actions, his speech and feelings.

    When you added it, it was powerful. However, it felt like you created the scene and separated the emotion from it, often explaining how he felt about it afterwards. It left this reader wondering what Artemis really felt about the whole situation, and made it hard to connect. The below example is powerful, but it took time to reach the reader.

    Post six:
    Artemis’ heart started to well with compassion, and though he had not yet seen anything that could be deemed blatantly wrong or sinister, he could sense the mood of the population as though he were swimming in their gloom. This was not a life worth living – these people just happened to be alive.
    This links closely to "Actions" as describing how Artemis feels afterwards, as a lot of these emotions and beliefs really could have been relayed in his actions; how he does it, and why?

    A great example. I wanted more of this -
    Post fourteen:
    He laid waste to the environment needlessly, destroying architecture and history and memories that didn’t belong to him with the selfishness of a child who wanted more candy and was denied.

    Prose:

    Mechanics:(7 of 10 Points)

    You writing reads very well, but it struggled mainly with two things in particular. The first being what I can only describe as over wordy sentences.

    Post two:
    When the figure had finally gotten close, slits of silver that seemed to glow much like Artemis’ own blue eyes stared back at the young man.
    Post three:
    Davian looked at Artemis with a gravity and concern that seemed almost out of place on the face of a man of such power.
    Post five:
    The wall stood near four stories tall made of large blocks of stone melded together flawlessly by magic.
    These sentences knocked this reader a bit silly at first. They could be structured better, be it through comma use, or just re-wording. Example of post five above:

    There stood a wall of flawlessly magic melded stone bricks that stood four stories tall.


    The above caused the second problem: flow. The way you phrase certain things or word them, interrupted the way this reader read your story. It is worth nothing, that while a sentence can be grammatically correct, it's not always the right way to say it. Try thinking about how well it flows onto the next sentence or paragraph, and re-word accordingly.

    Other than that, there was various little mistakes sneaking in. Nothing too dramatic, but they were there. Examples:

    Post five: Missing word.
    He realized then that he could probably intuit that Judicis was in favor of the journey, given that he would have likely voiced his opposition otherwise.
    Post Eight: Spelling error.
    the smell reminiscient of her silver hair.
    Post five: Missing space.
    and I'm justpassing through.
    Clarity: (7 of 10 Points)

    Various problems here were caused with the use of the "the man", and while I noticed you tried to use "young man" for Artemis, this wasn't always clear. Writers often use a particular term to help direct to reader to who they are referring to, however, using such a term as "the man" was very unclear. This reader had to re-read over sentences to make sure I was understanding exactly who you were referring to.

    Example from post thirteen:
    Just as the man passed the periphery of the building where Artemis stood, the young man stepped out from the shadows to fire at the man. The projectile struck the target cleanly, yet as it did the magic dispersed as though striking a barrier of sorts around the man.
    That being said, you are pretty clear with your descriptions and dialogue and clearing up a couple of things would have bumped your score here.

    Technique: (7 of 10 Points)

    Finding some new techniques or methods to how to describe Artemis, as mentioned above, would help you here. But your main issue that seemed lacking was the description of how things happened during the fight scene. Since magic and powerful features were used during this battle, the way certain things were described fell flat.

    Post thirteen:
    The lord smiled as he began to walk toward Artemis. He raised a hand and a bolt of red and black energy surged out of his fingers at the young man.
    To drive home the moment of this attack, and what it actually looks like, it needed more. A lot of things happen during this battle, but they happen without enough oomph behind it. Since this is the main antagonist and this is the peak of the story, this reader really wanted to delve into the power and dread of it all. An example of what I mean:

    The lord smiled devilishly as he walked with a vigour of dread towards Artemis. He scowled as he raised his hands in a sudden motion and aimed them at him; firing a sharp bolt of red and black energy that twirled and spiralled out of his fingers like bursting water from a pipe.


    Your general technique you use throughout is fairly solid, and it set a strong mood with some strong moments, but adding just a bit more on these vital moments would have really drilled home the effort that you have put into this. What you do is good, it just needs some polishing touches.

    Wildcard: (8 of 10 Points)

    You are a talented writer, and I feel if you had chose a more complicated story, you would have been able to give more. You do so much right it was hard acknowledging the wrong. I would enjoy reading more on Artemis.

    Final score: 70

    Sir Artemis receives:
    Experience: 3015
    Gold: 1200


    Congratulations! Please note, your GP reward reflects your 500% bonus.
    Last edited by Gnarl & Root; 07-11-16 at 12:33 PM.
    The Destroyer of Worlds

    Part 1: The Gnarled Roots of Osiris
    - Philomel ~ "One of the best "opening" threads by any character I have ever read."
    Part 2: The Truth we Left Behind
    -Currently writing-

  10. #20
    Deliver Us
    EXP: 69,763, Level: 11
    Level completed: 40%, EXP required for next level: 7,237
    Level completed: 40%,
    EXP required for next level: 7,237
    GP
    0
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris's Avatar

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    Shinsou Vaan Osiris
    Age
    31
    Race
    Human
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Brown
    Eye Color
    Gold
    Build
    6'0", 155lbs
    Job
    "Executor" (Leader) of the Brotherhood

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