Plot: (26)

Storytelling (8) – All of the required prompts were completed for round 3. This was certainly the most abstract of the threads for the final round. There was definitely a mystical/philosophical feel to the thread that was unique to it.

Setting (8) – Despite the interlude in the middle, this thread, to me, was all about the room and the clockwork maze on either end. The sheer lack of detail to the room in the initial post set up perfectly for the gradual, mounting changes that came with each repetition. It lent itself well to the horrific atmosphere that the room engendered. Each little detail that you added pulled me further and further into the story. On the other side, completely different but no less important to the story, the scene in the clockwork maze was pure action.

Pacing (10) – Your varied post length here really clinched the atmosphere, putting me as the reader in Erissa’s place, bursts of frentic energy punctuated by periods that should be relaxing but merely serve to heighten the tension. The break in the action following the escape from the room served to accentuate the point and allowed the characterization to blossom, a masterful was to allow the readers to come down from the high that the room’s horror built up. Finally, the chaotic combat between Erissa and the Sagequeen ramped the action up again to finish the thread off nicely. Every post, and everything within the posts, seemed deliberate in its execution, with no space wasted on extraneous points.

Character: (24)

Communication (8) – Erissa’s notes, her rambling to herself in the room, her discussion with Pennyworth, and finally the interaction with the Sagequeen really brought Erissa’s character to life. The blinding fear of her second incarnation and her descent to madness in her fourth incarnation were especially powerful, showcasing how easily even a mighty figure can quickly be brought low by something as simple as not knowing what’s going on. I liked seeing Erissa railing at her past selves while she watched the show unfold rather than getting mad at Pennyworth or Stern. Finally, you did a good job of showing Sagequeen’s madness through her opening words such that when she mentioned how people refer to her I was thinking “well of course they do.”

Action (8) – All of the actions in this thread really tied together to reinforce the theme that it’s the little things that make the difference. Your constant repetition of this theme through all of Erissa’s doings not only showed growth in her character, it tied everything together.

Persona (8) – This thread really allowed you to explore the full range of who Erissa is and to put it on display for the reader. You even gave alternate versions of Erissa to demonstrate how the things that happen to her shaped her and how different she could be given different circumstances. The “lesson” theme of the story and how Erissa deals with each difficulty put in her path really made me feel that she had, by the end of the thread, grown in depth as a character.

Prose: (25)

Mechanics (9) – Excellently written and flowed extremely well. There was only one error that jumped out at me throughout the thread.

Clarity (8) – You did a good job of keeping this thread clean and easy to understand, despite the areas of action and mounting madness that were part of it.

Technique (8) – Just about everything seems tied together into the theme of the thread, and as I go back over it I continue to find subtle things that you can only really catch if you’ve read the entire thread. There was only one real point that stuck out and not being really tied in, which was Erissa noting that she still had no shoes once she had been clothed after escaping the room. I was somewhat expecting that point, which stuck out as a point of note, to come up later in the thread but it did not.

Wildcard: (10)

Total: 85

Sagequeen receives 2295 exp and 310 gp.