LCC - R1: Golden Dawn VS Child's Play

[Ceidon]

Just as Ceidon shot his final arrow, his bow was violently pulled down from behind. Unknown to him, the child assailant had just materialized a few feet above and was bearing down on the adventurer with a broad sword. Before the attack hit Ceidon, though, it caught his bow. Unwilling to let go of his own weapon, Ceidon toppled backwards and slammed his back hard against the misty rock. While his fall prevented the adventurer from being cut in two, the assassin’s sword still managed to catch Ceidon on the right side of chest. This left a centimeter deep cut from his shoulder blade down to the middle of his rib cage. Without attention, he would likely bleed to death in minutes.

Ceidon cried out, but it was not from the pain. Immediately after the attack, he watched as tar colored blood began to pour from the new wound. The blood made him nauseous and he vomited all over his own tunic. Like his blood, the bile was mostly black. In that moment Ceidon knew he was done for. Unable to move and consumed by disease, he gritted his teeth and waited for a final blow from the assassin who was now standing over him. However, the blow never came. Instead, the child assailant’s eyes moved to Ceidon’s pocket. Then suddenly everything made sense.

Being constantly berated by different types of pain across his body, Ceidon had forgotten about the wound on his thigh. He knew he was not in complete control of his faculties, but until that moment he was also unsure how the evil sword had suddenly affected him after being dormant for almost two years. When the Falchion of Darkness cut into his leg, it must have infected his blood stream. In hindsight, this was consistent with what happened with Kyo as well. Kyo used her own blood—the blood of a dragon—to free the weapon from its resting place. Then when she handled the sword with her wounded hand, it must have consumed her as well. If this was just a severe infection, Ceidon, a healer of some renown, had an idea about how he could stop this entire mess.

Temporarily free of mind, Ceidon called out to the child: “Please…Please help me. It…it’s in my blood.” He coughed, “I can’t help myself, please. I…I am a member of the Order of the Golden Dawn, sworn to protect the dark secrets of Althanas and I have made a terrible mistake.” He motioned to his pouch. “Inside…are healing stones. Shards of Dreniak. Please use them…” The child did not respond at first and this made Ceidon angry. A child… he eventually thought, his mind wandering once more. How on earth did I lose to a child? He made a fist with his left hand. His body soon began to convulse as he realized how annoying pathetic his situation was. He closed his eyes and when he re-opened them his pupils were black.

“Foolish child,” he said, shaking his head. In one last ditch effort, Ceidon summoned all of his strength and reached up with his right hand. He attempted to grab the much lighter child and tried to throw him over the edge of the rock, which would send him plummeting 30 feet to the rocky shore. “Let’s see you weasel out of this one,” he cried out.

[Play Back]

“Buddy….” I spoke with a panted breath, unsure if the foe could hear me over the sound of the waves, “you just made the biggest mistake of your life….”

Despite how weak I felt, I reached for my mask, ripping it off of my head the rest of the way and looking directly into the eyes of the mage. I am sure I looked disguisting, my face covered in my own vomit, and pale from wearing the mask all the time, but it would be worth it for one use of the Play Back ability. It had been the first time I had used my power in years; it was mostly for espionage and even then, required me at full health mentally and physically to stay conscious through the entire ordeal. You see, my real name is not ‘Play Back’, rather a code name I go by. It was also a description of my ability, which was now in full force through my mind (and hopefully that of my opponent).

And entire lifetime worth of knowledge instantly flooded my head from the moment I looked into Caduceus’ (a name as ridiculous as this man’s ability to recover, apparently) pupils with my own. I could see the monks of the comb Mountains training him in the ways of magic as if I was looking through the mage’s eyes. I felt the pain of leaving his parents, tears welled up in his eyes and a sick feeling within the pit of his stomach. I felt every ounce of pain he had suffered as he fought the demon Qlippoth on the astral plane. Every single moment of Caduceus’ life filled my brain in a matter of seconds, every feelings of joy, sadness, anger, envy, and whatever else shot through my body in an instant.

My body convulsed, thrusting violently into the air, my throat ever closer to the blade held to me with each twitch. Such erratic motions did not normally happen, but I was not using my ability on one person; I was using it on two. Not only did I go through the entire history of Caduceus in an entire sitting, but I was also living the thousands upon thousands of years that the Djinn that Caduceus has summoned experienced. It was too much for a grown man to take, let alone someone as old as me.

“T…a…l…e….n…” I managed to eke out of my head, “S…t..a…n….d… D….o…w….n…”

I had seen, above all else, that I had made a mistake. The two of these men (three, including the demi-god Cad was channeling) where not evil conspirators. They were just somewhat dumb, really clumsy and incredibly boring individuals who collected relics for the act of ‘balance’. The Golden Dawn would not be my enemies, at least for now. My eye lids began to close as I thought about the repercussions of this group. In the name of balance, they would eventually strike out against the Ixian Knights.

Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do at this point. My body stopped its twitching, as my head began to feel quite woozy. I raised a shaking finger at Caduceus before I passed out. “This….isn’t over…”

The last thought I had before losing consciousness, and by proxy the match against Caduceus, was the singular hope that the ‘lifetime overload’ of my ‘Play Back’ ability worked both ways, and that the magicians would soon get knocked out my visions of living under constant threat of undead in Lavinya, losing his true love, and the other concoctions of emotions I had experienced my entire life.

Not that it mattered; I was out of this fight.

((Concluding post))

[Zook Murnig]

As the magician fell into those platinum pools, he felt the psychic assault edging into his consciousness. A barrage of images, sounds, smells, thoughts poured through him, burning up in the salamander's flames. Cohen reached for the heat of his binding, drawing it about him to shield himself from the torrent of memory and emotion, but still it broke through in flashes of insight.

A life under siege from the walking dead, never knowing when you would wake among their shuffling numbers. A meeting with the scarlet-haired psychic, Sei Orlouge, his knights doing daily battle in the back-streets of Radasanth. The crushing weight of carriage wheels shattering ribs, squeezing the life from a young girl's lungs even as his heart was rent in two at her loss.

As the wall of fire closed in his mind, shutting out the ongoing storm, Cohen was yet awash in unfamiliar memories, but the tide had been stemmed and he was now able to sort through the unasked answers. The most relevant of these were regarding some new organization: the Ixian Knights. A ragtag band of warriors, led by the silent telepath Sei Orlouge, they fought for the betterment of all the lands of Althanas. Without focus or forethought, however, they seemed too ready to leap into the fray with whatever weapons they could find. Many among their ranks served the avatars of the Thayne, not truly understanding their grim nature.

Not a threat to the Order, Cohen decided, coming back into himself again. But they lack discipline, if they will take up mere children amongst their armies. One day these Knights might look upon the Order of the Golden Dawn and seek the secrets protected by its agents, steal the ancient weapons of darkness and light guarded by its vaults, all in the name of a "better world," no matter the cost.

The magician woke moments later, though it seemed an eternity since he had threatened the boy, Play Back, with fire in his veins and knife in hand. The binding had broken under the force of his unrestrained psychic aggression, and with the elemental fury of Djinn gone, his muscles ached with the strain, and his damaged left leg had fallen again to numb uselessness. His chest hurt where the knife had blunted against his reinforced vest, and he lay there, amongst the cold seawater and shifting sandy gravel, hoarsely groaning his pain.

Closing post.

[Enigmatic Immortal]

Golden Dawn vs Childs Play

Plot:
Storytelling 6.5/4.5 – Ceidon and Zook did a much better job of grounding this thread within the context of a larger story, making it more than just a random encounter. In particular, Ceidon really built up the lore around this thread. Play Back, while not as detailed as Ceidon or Zook, also did a good job explaining his character’s motivations and reasoning for joining the LCC.

Setting 5.5/5 – All four participants did a good job of setting out the scene and resolving actions within that scope. I never felt pulled out of the setting, though at times there were opportunities to build upon it which were not pursued. Of the four of you, Ceidon pulled ahead in this category, using the setting to drive events within the thread rather than simply existing within them.

Pacing 4.5/6 – Play Back and Hysteria pulled ahead here, both of their posts working together to create an easily readable flow between the two of them. Zook, you worked well with what was provided but had no defining moments in this area. Ceidon, this was one of your worst areas, and it almost seemed as if you were going to do what you wanted regardless of that the other posters were doing.

Character:

Communication 5/4 – Play Back, you took great liberties with your psychic powers in this thread. I couldn’t find anywhere in your profile where you have the ability to communicate mentally. Otherwise, the communication in this thread did little to really give life to your characters, and only Ceidon’s character really stepped out and off the page.

Action 5/5.5 – Zook and Hysteria did a really good job emoting their respective characters through their actions. I definitely got a better feel for who they were and they drew me in to the flow of the thread. Play Back, while your actions were not terribly engaging, you did nothing to really clash with the other actions going on in the thread. Ceidon, I enjoyed the way that you dictated not only your actions but those of your partner as well, which really make the thread flow smoothly. That being said, your actions often seemed to either ignore the actions of the opposing team or you seemed to be taking more actions than would be allowed for in a realistic time frame.

Persona 5.5/4.5 – Ceidon, the youthful enthusiasm that you portray in your character, along with more than a hint of foolishness, really come through well. This was your strongest category. Zook and Hysteria did well, though nothing really stood out enough to distinguish their character identities. Play Back, your discussion of the tournament and your place in it in your opening post and the world wisdom that you put into your character made your motivation for fighting Zook and Ceidon seem out of place. Knowing that you are in a tournament, it would have seemed more natural to assume that these were your opponents rather than criminals bent on Lornius’ downfall. While a certain amount of naiveté adds to your character,

Prose:
Mechanics 7/5 – Hysteria had multiple spelling and grammar errors throughout the thread. Zook, your writing was extremely well written. Ceidon and Play Back both did a really good job and I found very little errors in their writing and certainly nothing that jumped out at me while I was reading.

Clarity 6/5.5 – I never felt lost while I was reading either Zook or Hysteria’s writing, though Zook’s straightforwardness pushed him further in this area. That being said, there were no real problems in either Ceidon or Play Back’s writing, though there were times when I had to catch myself or reread a sentence to get the gist of what they meant.

Technique 5/5 – Nothing really leapt out in this category from any participant. Having the thread unfinished by all participants was somewhat disappointing.

Wildcard: 4/4 Unfinished thread.

Team Total: 54 / 49

GOLDEN DAWN WINS!

Zook Murnig receives 1500 exp and 65 gp.
Ceidon receives 1500 exp and 55 gp.
Play Back receives 450 exp and 60 gp.
Hysteria receives 450 exp and 50 gp.

[Max Dirks]

EXP and GP added!

Ceidon leveled up!