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Thread: Round 2: Champions of Lornius Vs Plane Curiosity

  1. #21
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    “That was supposed to be a boon?” Mordelain spat. It was a horribly un-lady like thing for her to do, but under the circumstances, she was not feeling particularly lady like. “Oh, I am sorry, I mistook the rocks, and the energy beams, and all the chauvinist rage of an age for aggression, not a prosperous opportunity ,” she would have spoken the word with less content, had she not been riled to her wit’s end.

    In a flit of gnat’s wing beat, the planes walker disappeared, and re-appeared by Resolve’s side. She emerged from the Void just ahead of the exorcist, legs parsed, fists clenched, and her nostrils flaring.

    “We don’t have passes,” Resolve said, clocking her companion as she re-appeared. “We have never been to the Floating City.” She rather wished she had, the idea alone amazed her, even though not an hour ago, she had stood before a city the size of a continent and wreathed in energy.

    “So you will quite understand, gentlemen,” Mordelain nodded curtly to Max, and then to Sei, “why we cannot acknowledge your request.” Instinctively, the pair closed the gap between them. Mordelain reached backwards with her right hand, and Resolve with her left.

    They were bound now, unified through war, death, and demeanour.

    “You turned down a perfectly good offer,” Resolve continued, feeling Mordelain’s kind hand engulf her own. The contact gave her a new found strength. She was starting to forget the planes walker was quite so old, and starting to see her in a new light. It was a light that thankfully started to abate her seething anger.

    “An offer faded and sadly now expired.” Mordelain continued, with a matter-of-tact tone.

    As the roiling clouds continued to approach the valley and the beauty of their boulder slew environ became insignificant, Plane Curiosity found their plans at a loss. Mordelain had been quite adamant, on the shores of the Slums of Zhayou, that they could outwit the lug headed duo with rhetoric, surprise, and alabaster promises. She sighed, a long winged epitaph to the affair.

    “We should be going,” Mordelain urged, pulling on Resolve’s hand to draw her into the field of her ability’s limit. “It’s getting cold.” Her skin burst out into goose bumps as a flustering breeze rolled down the valley from the east. It brought with it frozen promises, and long forgotten ideologies. Surprised by the jolt, and on the brink of throwing a switch, the exorcist made to swing for her companion as she started seeing red. Her fist stopped inches from Mordelain’s brazen cheek.

    “Yes, quite right,” she said, ashamed, and dropped her fist to her side.

    Mordelain looked down at the girl, smiled, then gave their adversaries one last solemn stare. “Good luck on your journey, Champions of Lornius.” Her smile turned into a wicked grin, “you’ve no chance of making it there by nightfall.” A prospect the women had hoped for when they had plotted their grand adventure over their breaking of bread. If they could not waylay one of the most ominous and potent men on the face of the world, then they sure as be damned throw a spanner in the works.

    “I hear the bears out here are partial to a bit of flaccid meat,” Resolve added, the fires long faded from view, but still burning in her heart.

    Mordelain extended her free hand, the shield still clutched tightly in her fingertips, and shook it. She took Resolve into her confidence tightly. “You can walk straight through these, for your information.” She let it drop to her sides. “You let your anger, and your hatred, and your pursuit driven by zeal blind you to the simplest of truths.” She shook her head, mimicking her contraption, and then, quite simply…

    They were gone.
    Last edited by Mordelain; 03-04-13 at 03:46 PM.

  2. #22
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    Dirks said nothing during the rest of the older woman’s rant. Though he fought it vehemently, he was unable to break free from the cherub’s mind control. When the two finally disappeared, Sei gave a heavy sigh and released Dirks from his influence. The Mystic hunched over and started to breathe heavily. Dirks, on the other hand, felt remarkably refreshed after he was freed. Without wasting any time, the gunslinger withdrew his ‘patented’ weapon and aimed it directly at Sei’s temple.

    “Don’t you ever enter my head again you shit-eating cherub,” he screamed. Dirks’ hands were trembling and his finger was brushing against the trigger. The Mystic said nothing in response. Instead, he simply looked up and stared at the criminal with his bright blue eyes. There was no fear in Sei's eyes. They just reflected heart-wrenching disappointment in the criminal and regret for his actions. Unable to look at the Mystic any longer, Dirks shut his eyes. A moment later a gunshot rang through the forest. With no rockslide to muffle the noise, the shot echoed off the mountains for miles.

    “What about all that talk of protecting your family, Sei?” Dirks eventually asked as he holstered his weapon. He bend down and felt his katanas. They were cool to the touch, so Dirks picked them up and placed them in their sheaths. “Do you not care about mine?”

    “Dirks…”Sei started. “I have extra-sensory perception. Those women did not smell like natural gas. They had no windburn, breathing irregularities, or any other possible sign that they’d ever been to the Floating City either. You’re so obsessed with saving Starlynn that you’re only seeing what you want to see…” Sei stood back up and put his right hand on Dirks’ left shoulder. “Besides, this isn’t you. Not anymore at least. Starlynn changed you, Dirks. She made you a man worthy of my kinship and made you noble enough to wear those robes.” He lowered his hand. “If she ever learned that you had killed in her name, even in death, she would never accept you back.”

    Dirks shook his head and turned away from the Mystic. Of course Sei was right, but killing two innocent women was nothing compared to the atrocities he was about to commit in order to save his beloved. It wasn’t compassion that had just spared the Mystic from a bullet. It was something else. Something far more sinister. The anti-magic jewel Dirks sought wasn’t independently enchanted. It was a soul gem and its power was derived from the soul it carried. Thus, a stronger soul meant a stronger anti-magic field. Its current occupant, Thoracis Rakarth, was not powerful enough to dispel the magical barrier protecting Starlynn. Dirks believed that there was only one soul on Althanas strong enough to free her and it belonged to the most powerful creature on Althanas. That's right. In order to save his beloved, Dirks would have to sacrifice his best friend.

    “I wouldn’t tell her.” Dirks mumbled. “My sins are my own…”
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  3. #23
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    Resolve allowed the warmth of the woman's embrace to suppress her anger, the seething red in her vision giving way to the tropical fluorescents of Bulganin's jungles as the pair materialized in the faraway world. She blinked, taking in the sudden wash of humidity, vibrancy, and the peculiar white noise of alien nature, finding herself speechless in the abrupt change. She was sure she'd never get used to it.

    Mordelain felt her relent and allowed herself the same luxury, her arms relaxing from the girl's frame. "Next stop: Floating City. When you have composed yourself, of course."

    "Those bastards," the exorcist growled, pale eyes unseeing as she glared at nothing. A neon-feathered bird fluttered out of a nearby shrub of flowering vines as if disturbed by her intensity, and she blinked with a frown. "What if that botched the match? What if we're disqualified because of them?"

    "In order to be disqualified," Mordelain began, tapping her bottom lip with a scholarly finger, "We have to break the rules." She paused for dramatic effect. "If you can tell me how we achieved that, then by all means, prove me wrong."

    With a sigh, Resolve acknowledged that the woman was right. She wasn't thinking straight, thought processes muddled by her temper. Quick anger was her greatest vice –– she was well aware of that fact –– and still she sweltered in the grip of her own wrath. Her fists clenched until her knuckles grew white again, gritted teeth bared. Deprived of her outlet, the exorcist had a very sorry case of violence-induced blue balls.

    Her companion saw it, her calm voice soothing as it washed over Resolve like cool rain. "Shall we go?"

    The exorcist sparked, sizzled, and, finally, sighed. "I really wanted to hit him," she lamented. "Is that too much to ask?"

    "There is one restaurant in the city that serves everything in edible vessels," Mordelain said, redirecting the conversation to something more positive. "Even the glasses are made of ice. You would like it."

    Resolve dared to look up to her companion's face at last, still ashamed. It would have been a crime to mar something so pretty and she nearly did so mere moments ago, blinded by her rage. "I'm sorry," the girl whimpered.

    The way one might melt under the apologetic gaze of a scolded puppy, Mordelain smiled and offered her arm. "Are you ready now?"

    The exorcist nodded sheepishly and wrapped her arms around the taller woman's waist, burying her face in her chest. Surprised, Mordelain simply patted Resolve on the shoulder, smile frozen hesitantly on her lips as she closed her eyes and they vanished together once again.

    Mordelain had visited the Floating City many times before, but never in such interesting company. This evening promised to be a good one.

  4. #24
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    The mute walked several paces ahead of Dirks, his eyes focused upon the giant city in the sky a few miles in front of them. Sei sighed as he thought about the teleporting woman’s words about delaying the Champions of Lornius, and shook his head. What would such a stupid and trivial thing accomplish in the grand scheme? The base of the Lotho mountains, where the majority of their battle took place, was just a few hours away from the Floating City anyways. All their scuffle accomplished was that the veteran warrior was now annoyed and Dirks had taken another step closer to madness.

    The Mystic was worried about Dirks. The criminal was plotting something nefarious, and at times Sei was tempted to prod Dirks' mind to find the truth. For now, he hoped it would never come to this. His eyes shifted downward, to the photo he had taken out of his pants pocket. As he heard Dirks approaching, the mute quickly stuffed the picture back into his pants. The quick motion was enough to cause the already irritated Dirks to raise some eyebrows in suspicion.

    “What was that?”

    A picture of Anita,” Sei was quick to respond to his friend, as if the answer had been rehearsed, “I miss her more and more the longer I’m away from her.” the Mystic could feel the hand of Dirks upon his shoulders as he talked. He closed his eyes once more and sighed.

    ~~
    The heat from the fires caused sweat to trickle down the mute’s face. He had toiled for hours the night before Dirks was to leave the castle with the telepath in tow. He lifted his head up to the sound of soft knocks upon the redwood door, three heads of long hair peaking through the crack. Sei smiled as he motioned for the girls to enter, straightening himself up to greet his daughters.

    “I’m worried, Papa…” The oldest of the three, Anita, spoke first. “There’s something that doesn’t seem right about this. If Max Dirks is so stern about this mission, why doesn’t he want to take me along? I think out of everybody here, I’d be the best choice for a partner.”

    Anita. You don’t fight.”

    “She has a point though,” Emma, the middle Orlouge daughter, spoke up, “this whole thing, this tournament… what does Dirks have to gain from choosing you as his partner?”

    Sei shook his head, motioning for the smallest of his children, seven-year-old Ella, to climb into his lap. The girl obeyed, and Sei eyed each one of his girls. As he looked to each of them, he began to realize that this was the very thing Dirks was missing in his life. Starlynn was the only girl who would be able to give Max Dirks this same joy.

    One day girls, you’ll understand.” Sei said, as he sat his youngest back on the ground.

    ~~

    Let’s just go,” Sei looked to his friend, throwing his shoulder off of the gunslingers hand. “Family is the most important thing to me Dirks.”

    “I know th—“

    Sei spun around before the convict could get another word in. “Let. Me. Finish. Family is the most important thing to me, Max Dirks. I swear to the Thaynes above and demons below that I will help you reclaim yours. But if you even think about tearing me away from mine, you will know fury and pain above anything you could even begin to perceive.”

    All of a sudden, fighting vulgar women seemed miniscule in comparison.
    2011 Althy winner for Best Comeback, Most Helpful Moderator, and Best IC Odd Couple (With Enigmatic Immortal). 2012 Althie Winner for Mr. Althanas, and best Bromance (also, with Enigmatic Immortal). 2014 Althy Winner Best Battler for Forrals Fortress.

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  5. #25
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    Plane Curiosity Versus Champions of Lornius

    Plot:
    Storytelling 6/7.5 – The story being told by both parties was equally interesting. I rather enjoyed the romantic angle of PC, and the bloody hunt for Thoracis that has degraded Dirks and Sei’s friendship for CoL. The edge went to CoL due to the aggressive desires of Dirks pushing the “Moral Compass” of Althanas to do harm and break his code was just tastier in my mind.

    Setting 5/5 – Surprisingly, nobody really did a good job of setting up the scene’s backdrop when I have seen greatness from all four of you. I am mostly concerned that you, Mord, who’s always blown me away with setting, seemed to take a lax break from it. Push boundaries guys, you are slipping in setting for your actions and dialogue.

    Pacing 5/6.5 – The first post set forth by you Mordelain was not the best I have ever seen you do, and I hold you to high expectations because you’re one of the best; So to see that level of quality hurt you guys. Resolve managed to pick up and thankfully, I haven’t seen it fall much after that. However Dirks and Sei’s pacing was nicely in tandem with each other and while there was a few back and forth placements between posts, it was nothing I couldn’t quickly get over.

    Character:

    Communication 7.5/7 – This was a solid breakthrough for both teams. PC had a great management for keeping up with each other, and never once did the story fumble between the two, and CoL kept the ball firmly in their grips when they had it as well. The edge here goes to PC due to a more natural flow.

    Action 5/7 – The action was all focused on PC reacting to CoL actions, which is normally fine but nothing you guys did to retaliate seemed to pop or shine. The action category was really dominated by Dirks. However, I do must point out that Dirks seemed to have more fun with Sei’s abilities than Sei. This score could have been higher if we saw Sei explore the opportunity to go ape-shit.

    Persona 7.5/6 – Admittedly, this was a great read for character between all parties. I really, really liked watching Sei and Dirks argue, seeing that fragile knife’s edge friendship teeter back and forth. But the show was really stolen by the unique concepts of Mord and Resolve. Both characters naturally played off each other well and never skipped a beat. They flowed in time and made a great connection that was almost tangible to the reader. This is what gave you guys a boosted edge. All Dirks and Sei need to do is synergize their angst and they’ll give you both a run for your money.

    Prose:
    Mechanics 5/6 – Mord! First post, second paragraph!
    The exorcist nodded, unable to speak because she as equally engrossed in her food.
    There were tiny errors like this sprinkled throughout the thread, and you all should know by now what I am about to say…………….PROOFREAD YOUR WORK! This is easily the best area to improve your work.

    Clarity 7/6 – Honestly, Sei, your What if spell made me ask myself “what the fu-“ or even better, “What if this spell was simpler to understand.” Even with your clarifying paragraph, I was still kinda confused. Perhaps you should think about using a simplified version of the spell. Outside that little instance, everyone seemed to be succinct and clear. Edge to PC for reasons stated above.

    Technique 6/6 – Dead even tie, with above average score for both teams using some advanced literary techniques. I’m not going to point them all out, but you both did a good job. Start replacing some of the more basic obvious ones, and you’ll be on a roll.
    Wildcard: 5/6 – This was a nice story, and decent fight. But what really won the day for me was Sei going against his own code. I do just love to see a hero fall…

    Team Total: 59/63

    Congratulations to Champions of Lornius

    Silence Sei receives 4950 EXP and 88 GP
    Max Dirks receives 4950 EXP and 63 GP
    Resolve receives 1350 EXP and 70 GP
    Mordelain receives 1350 EXP and 70 GP
    I could laugh...
    ...Till I die!

    Avatar Edited to Look AMAZING by Sagequeen

  6. #26
    Il'Jhain Runner
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    Experience and gold added.

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