Redemption Bracket: Tobias Stalt Vs Black Shadow

[black shadow]

What was but a few seconds felt like a few years to Black Shadow. Waiting for his opponent caused him to become a little paranoid. The slightest sound caused him to flinch. The sound of an owl caused him to redirect the aim of his bow, but he was smart enough to not release the arrow. Then the sound of footsteps hit his ears, human footsteps. They were light, almost unable to be heard. Aiming his bow, Black Shadow released his arrow. The deep sound of an arrow hitting a tree disappointed Black Shadow.

The footsteps stopped, they ended in the same direction as before. The battle had to end soon. Black Shadow readied another arrow and listened. The footsteps continued, and arrows began to fly. Whether Black Shadow made contact or not, he did not know. All he knew is that the footsteps continued, and the arrows continued to fly. This battle had to end soon.

[Max Dirks]

No general comments here, as I think you're both getting the hang of Althanas.

Tobias Stalt

Story - 4 (Solid introduction)
Setting - 4 (Your first post was excellent, but you lost some of the descriptive edge as the battle carried on)
Pacing - 5 (Starting in the midst of "a" battle added suspense)
Persona - 4
Communication - 4
Action - 4 (I didn't like your dodge. Though Black Shadow left the attack open ended, RP courtesy dictates you'd at least acknowledge it as an attack on your character. This is an example of where the setting can hurt your score)
Technique - 5
Clarity - 6
Mechanics - 7 (Solid writing, but I noticed a few excess commas)
Wildcard - 4
Total - 47/100

Black Shadow

Story - 4
Setting - 3
Pacing - 4 (Breaking the action to run to the forest slowed the pace of the battle down in a negative manner)
Persona - 4
Communication - 4
Action - 4 (You played through Tobias' convenient dodge well & tried to cater the battle to your character's strengths, but the actual act of running to the forest detracted from a good interaction)
Technique - 5
Clarity - 6 (Easy to understand)
Mechanics - 6 (Your spelling was good until the last few posts, then you started with the run-ons. Remember, if you can add a period and have two full sentences, you should add a period).
Wildcard - 3 (Missed two more days than Tobias)
Total - 43/100

Tobias Stalt advances!

Black Shadow is eliminated.

Tobias Stalt earns 750 EXP and 47 GP
Black Shadow earns 225 EXP and 42 GP