Redemption Bracket: Ciato Orlouge Vs Zack Blaze

[Zack Blaze]

Zack’s eyes moved up to the form of the eating Ciato and opened the book he was reading before this all went down. The tome in question was a book about controlling the ogre known affectionately by Zack as Makai. So far, the boy had only found the order to allow Makai to appear quick enough to take a shot for the smaller form of Zack. If he could decipher some more of the text, perhaps he could have a permanent partner for battle.

Dust clouds rolled back from whence they came as Zack read and pulled the pages in the opposite direction like it were a manga. A spare hand went to his stomach as it made the strangest sound in history; a reverse gurgle. It had been quite a while since Zack had last eaten, and he was so busy with discovering new facts about his minion, that he had lost track of time. Mentally, Zack Blaze laughed as he heard himself speak in reverse words.

“Man, I could really go for a blueberry muffin right about now…”

[Max Dirks]

I like the general idea here, but your choice to keep thoughts and dialogue moving forward while actions moved backwards made particular parts of this battle confusing. If you try this in the future, it might be worthwhile to write it in a more omnipresent "Tolkien-like" style. One part I admittedly liked that would only be possible VIA backwards storytelling, was the realization that this fight started over a muffin. Kudos for the twist.

Scores are below. I chose Blaze to advance because I think you displayed better character with him. Moreover, as written, the twist that I liked was attributed to him. Accordingly, Blaze will advance to the Redemption Bracket semi-finals.

Zack Blaze | Ciato Orlouge

Story - 5 | 5
Setting - 5 | 5
Pacing - 5 | 5
Action - 4 | 4
Communication - 5 | 5
Persona - 6 | 5
Mechanics - 6 | 6
Technique - 6 | 6 (for the inventive storytelling, not necessarily traditional writing techniques, but I thought it more appropriate to add extra points here rather than story)
Clarity - 4 | 4
Wildcard - 5 | 5
Total - 51/100 | 50/100

Zack Blaze advances to the Redemption semi-finals v. the loser of ToT v. Roht Mirage.
Ciato Orlouge is eliminated.

I'm on a slight time crunch, so Lye will add rewards.

[Lye]

Zack Blaze Gets:

2,000 EXP
100 GP

Ciato Orlouge Gets:

600 EXP
50 GP

EXP & GP Added!