Newcomer (Semi?) Finals: Tobias Stalt Vs Kroom

[Tobias Stalt]

"Then do it," Tobias mused. He reached out to take back his smoke, smiled, and eased his fingers closed. The sensation of pipe meeting hand jolted Tobias awake.

A half empty pint had warmed adjacent to him and numbers in the pub had dwindled. The Elven songstress had broken from her work to share a drink with some raucous patrons on the other side of the room. A girl had slipped close to Tobias in the confusion of his awakening and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You've been out over an hour," she informed him in a hushed voice. "I had started to worry."

Tobias grunted. It had been far too long since last he saw Jak, and now, he worried about the man. "Ale," he managed to say, "I'll have another ale."

Blue eyed and golden blonde, the buxom woman placed hands on her supple hips and tilted her head. "Are you sure you need another?" There was no hint that she came to serve him, but Tobias saw no harm in asking. "I don't work here, I'll have you know. I was here listening to Alayne sing."

"Oh," Tobias seemed deflated.

Reaching into his cloak, Tobias produced the pipe he had smoked in his dream but a moment before. He stopped short when the bowl still felt warm. "Something wrong?" He glanced up at the girl, and she smiled. "I'm Kathys."

Pressing the pipe between his teeth, Tobias merely shook his head. At this point, I'm not even surprised anymore. "Tobias," he told her. Kathys smirked at him, reaching out and taking the pipe from his lips. She pressed it between her own, and she took a long drag. Tobias felt himself laugh.

"You've got great taste in smoke," the girl complimented.

Standing up, Tobias pulled out a chair and ushered Kathys into it. Placing an arm around her, he hailed the barmaid, and he leaned over to whisper in his new friend's ear. "Let me buy you a drink," he said. Her azure gaze met gold, and her full lips lifted into a wide smile.

"You speak my language quite well," Kathys remarked. She felt the man's firm hand move along her shoulders and travel down her back.

"Great taste, I attribute it to."

By the end of the night, Tobias could only remember the back of Kathys' head.

[Kroom]

Jak snorted as he turned away, throwing his eyes about for his bow. He had dropped the weapon during his initial skirmish with Tobias. That piece of oak and gutstring was an old friend, and had served him for years. No doubt it would break soon, and the smith would feel a twinge of sadness for the weapon's end. For now, it survived in quiet repose on the flat stone, waiting a few yards away.

"Easy to say," Jak said as he walked. "I wouldn't know." There was a small gasp in the world, and he turned to find himself alone. Tobias was gone, and the dream-world seemed darker now. Not that the other man brought any sort of cheer: most of the time he was damnably depressing. The world was literally growing darker. Jak sighed as the shadows and void came on.

"Guess he woke up." The words fell flat. He felt calm, resigned to an inexorable embrace of emptiness. He had nowhere to run as the empty grayness closed in, swallowing the encircling stone pillars like fog. Moments earlier, the idea of entering that empty grayness had terrified him; but now, as it came on and left him no escape, Jak was fortified by a sense of unreality. Nothing was going to happen to him, because none of this was here, any more than he was here - wherever 'here' was. When he woke up, as he was now certain he would, likely he would remember none of this, and life would go on as pleasantly as it ever did.

The silent onrush was not quick. It crept, crawled, fell like night. Jak stared out at the nothing and said nothing, idly scratching at an itch on his neck. It seemed wrong to try and force the encounter by walking to meet the void, and it was strangely satisfying to make the rolling emptiness cover every last inch to reach him, as if he were spiting the dead air.

Darkness grew thicker, until Jak could barely see all the nothing there was to see. The void was mere inches away, paused and waiting from him to accept it. It could have been hours after Tobias vanished, or it could have been minutes. It didn't matter. The smith slowly raised a hand, reached out, and touched the nothing, felt the nothing. That was odd. He actually felt the nothing, wrapping around his fingers and shrouding his body from his own eyes. There was a drifting sensation as he was lifted up - or was the floor dropped away? Like slumber, the void wrapped him and smothered him.

Like lightning, a thought split through his calm: whose dream was it? How had they gotten here? Who brought them here?

Darkness fell, suddenly smothering and forceful, like a drugged rag in the mouth. Jak fought for a moment - and then the world vanished.

[Max Dirks]

Good battle, though imagery in the middle was a bit repetitive. Tobias dominated early, but Kroom had the better conclusion. No individual comments today in the judgment - you two are no longer newbs - but as always I'm happy to comment in private regarding your writing.

Tobias Stalt

Story- 6
Setting- 5
Pacing- 6
Persona- 6
Communcation- 4
Action- 5
Mechanics- 7
Technique- 5
Clarity- 5
Wildcard- 54/100

Kroom

Story- 6
Setting- 5
Pacing- 5
Persona- 6
Communcation- 4
Action- 6
Mechanics- 6
Technique- 5
Clarity- 5
Wildcard- 5
Total- 53/100

Tobias Stalt wins, which means there will be a rematch next round!

Lye will be around to add EXP & GP shortly.
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