Both of you need to work on your mechanics. There were countless spelling & grammar errors in this thread. Lloyd, you had less traditional mechanical errors than Philomel, but you did omit some words & ended multiple sentences in propositions. These are very easy to fix with a quick readthrough. Note to Philomel: I did not discount for British spelling. Also, for clarity's sake, I recommend finding a better way to distinguish thoughts & dialogue from prose. Storywise, the thread was average. I suspect your score would have been higher here if your characters would have come back together to conclude the thread, but the rational for linking up in the first place (Philomel wanting to interrogate an Orlouge) was just bland. Persona was your strongest area. Though I didn't feel the sense of urgency & peril you were trying to convey, it is clear you put effort into developing your characters. In hindsight, playing on the outcast aspect of Lloyd's character could have helped here. Since your characters split & dialouge was unimpressive, I was unable to give you a higher character score.
Team 7 Judgment (Lloyd)
Story: 5
Setting: 5
Pacing: 5
Action: 5
Communication: 5
Persona: 5
Mechanics: 4
Technique: 5
Clarity: 5
Wildcard: 6
Total: 50/100
Lloyd receives 734 EXP and 100 GP
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