Shady Business Practices: (Closed to Red <3)

[Cards of Fate]

Whilst the three retired into the captains quarters, Vince found himself sitting on the deck rather annoyed.I know I told him to play the part but good lord...The scholar mused to himself. The other sailors grunted and spat several unpleasant things about the captain, their employer, and the giant behind there backs. Vince went about his work, fastening lines, hauling cargo, and making sure everything that needed to be loaded on the boat did so. Afterwards, when the crew was simply waiting for the captains orders to push out, he found himself playing dice with the crew once more.

Donnie, a portly man with no hair on any part of his body seemed eager to throw all of his gold at Vincent's absurd luck. Albert, a skinny man who appeared to have no business on the boat spoke up. "Did ya'll hear this boat is owned one of the blokes that slew Pode?"

The statement caught Vincent off gaurd as he chucked a set of dice, causing them to careen wildly and almost go overboard. "Excuse me?" the scholar asked. "Didja just say we're on the boat of a Podeslayer?" the men all nodded. Rumours of the purge of the red forest had traveled quickly.

"Yeah, and it aint this cocksucker up with the captin either. They say his name is Cain, a mean motherfucker indeed." Albert continued. "I heard the son ova bitch dealt the killing blow to the bitch herself, tore her head right off." The crew oohed and ahhed for a moment as Vince tried desperately not to lose his cover.

"They really say that bout this Cain fella?" he asked. "Never heard of no man who could rip a goddesses head off."

"And more!" Albert exclaimed slapping his knee. "I was in Beinost when the ship left Raiaera! Some of the men I talked to served under him! Said he was seven feet tall! Mane of golden hair like a fukkin lion mates!" Albert continued to spin this tale of a herculean figure while Vince simply glowed in the fact that he was having tall tales spun about himself.

"I heard there was five of them Pode killer blokes!" Donnie interjected. "And all of the other four was dames!" The crew paused for a moment before bursting in laughter.

"DAMES!" Albert cried. "Must have been one 'ell of a fukkin cat fight!" The entire crew calmed down to a chuckle before Vince rose to his feet.

"Good thaynes, how fuckin long are they gonna take in there!" he growled. "Let me go see what mittens and cocksucker are up to..." before he trudged off towards the captains quarters.

[redrout]

Joseph was busy explaining their route to the captain and their mercenary before Vincent burst through the door. For a split second, he was the Emperor, the learned scholar, his visage keen and his eyes bright, standing tall at the doorway, before he recovered his composure. Joseph raised an eyebrow.

“Oh? Have you something to add, Mr…..” The enterprising assassin glanced in the direction of the captain.

“Vince,” The captain stated quickly, and all three shared a glance. The facade would be broken if care was not taken this second. The crowd eyed the uppity crew member for a moment.

“Yeah.” vince began rather indignantly. “When are we heading out! Is mittens over there really that slow that you have to explain the route eight times?”

Joseph piped in, standing as the captain closed the door. The assassin removed his hat, setting it on the desk before him.

“Ah, Mr. Vincent, as much as I’d like to have you thrown overboard for your indolent and indecent behavior, I must ask why ever you are interrupting us?”

The giant furrowed an eyebrow, turning in a chair that was too small for him. He stood a full inch over Joseph, even though he was sitting down.

I got faith in you Vince, but I’d rather not make the guy angry.

“I’m just wondering why we’re not halfway to Ettermire by now! You’re not the only person with places to be snooty, I have some sweet elven ladies to meet up with, if you catch my drift. ”

Joseph mustered up some disgust, and painted his face with it lightly, his lips turning upward into a little sneer for a moment.

“I’m sure they’ll get along just fine without you, as long as someone has the coin, hm?” He turned, motioning at the door. “Captain. Will you please get him out of my sight?”

[redford]

“But do they have the goods?” Vincent gestured to his groin and made several thrusting motions before the captain could get a word in edgewise. “It’s all about size…” he turned an eye over the large gentleman before him. “I bet mittens here agrees with me.”

John merely snorted a little and turned back to the captain and his employer. Such men as this ‘Vince’ were common on ships. The sea apparently drew the most vulgar and uneducated sort of men. The captain responded to Vince’s outburst with a string of curses as he advanced upon the ragged sailor.

“So help me Vince if you don’t get this boat movin’ right now I’ll keel haul your ass and use your carcass for birdfeed!” Vince recoiled, a massive grin painted across his face as he turned tail, the captain shouting at him all the way out onto the deck.

“I’ll use your bones as my anchor, Vince, I swear on the Thayne! You! Get up and unfurl that sail! Move, people! I don’t have all day to scream at y’all!”

The captain’s barking faded as Joseph closed the door. He retreated back behind his desk, and rubbed his palms together. He spoke as confidently as nobility was able.

“Now that we have some privacy, gentlemen, let’s talk business.”

[Cards of Fate]

“FOR THE LAST TIME VINCE!” The captain's voice howled, “NO DICE ON MY SHIP! I’VE SAID IT ONCE, I’VE SAID IT TWICE!” The captain’s spit flew from his mouth as he bellowed, landing in his gnarled beard. In his hand he held a fistful of dice, pilfered from the perverse troublemaker. “I RUN A TIGHT SHIP HERE, AND I HAVE HAFFA MIND TO GUT YOU AND FEED YE TO THE FISH! DON’T TEST ME BOY!”

Vincent Cain simply shrugged and blew off the captain’s shouting. Ten days at sea had taken it’s toll on the captain’s patience, and Vincent’s shenanigans were getting on his last nerve. The scholar had been searching for ways to cause all sorts of trouble, telling raunchy stories, and other stereotypical behavior to pass the time. Three more days and they would be in Beinost offloading goods.

The sun shone brightly overhead in a cloudless sky, casting a burning glow over the entire deck. Most of the crew members had retreated to the shade, awaiting orders. The horizon seemed to blend in where the sky and water met. On one end of the boat, John was keeping himself busy by helping several crew members move the ships guns about. Much to the amazement of the entire crew, John could lift even their largest canons by himself, and was putting the entire crew to shame, all the while never removing his gauntlets.

The shining spectacle of the iron giant had held Vincent’s interest for the entire trip. Whenever he could, he was chatting or heckling the man. John, however, was a man of few words and rarely gave the vulgar sailor a response. The other potential recruits had turned out to be unremarkable, and bided their time gawking at the half-giant while sitting in the shade. Most had done only what was required of them so they could have their ration.

After taking his lumps from the captain, Vincent had decided he was going to find a new source of entertainment other than idle games. Carefully he approached the giant on his blind side as he held one of the ship’s smaller cannons like a farmer holds a baby cow. Without ceremony the scholar jabbed his fingers into the man’s ribs.

“OI MITTENS.” the words left his lips in a grunt. “YER PRETTY FUCKING STRONG AINT YE?.” John responded by slamming the cannon onto the deck, doubtlessly frightening all below decks.

“Yes, Vince, what of it?” he stated wearily, turning to look down at him, appearing to tire of his hijinks. The scholar simply donned an impish grin as he gestured to a loose barrel nearby.

“Betcha I could win in an arm wrestle,” he cooed flexing a bit.

The half-giant’s eyebrow arched upwards quickly, then his eyes narrowed. “You know what? Fine. You can have your arm wrestle; but if I win, you leave me be.” Vincent cackled maniacally, rubbing his hands together.

“But if I win, you hafta get “MITTENS” tattooed on your forehead!” A crowd had begun to form at this point, partly from sailors summoned to the deck from below by the commotion, and others were already descending the rigging. Even the captain seemed to turn a blind eye, likely knowing that events such as these relieved a crew of their stress.
John stomped toward the barrel and knelt in front of it, placing a massive forearm on the top. Vince followed suit, clenching the giant’s gauntlet-clad hand in his, his hand seeming to disappear inside a massive fist. Even the angles of their arms were odd.

“Aint gonna remove the bling boyo?” Vince asked cocking his head to one side.

His adversary snorted. “Can’t. We gonna start?”

The crowd, who up until now had been heckling, betting, and generally laughing at Vince, were silenced at the presence of the Captain. He spoke, eyeing the both of them.

“Now, I normally don’t condone such acts, but bein’ as ye’ve all been needing a moment’s respite, I’ll allow this non sense.” He cracked an evil grin that barely showed through his beard. “Also, WINNER GETS AN EXTRA RATION! GO!”

Vince began to push up against the giant’s arm, grunting slightly as John followed suit. To the crowds suprise, both men met at a stalemate for a moment. The two men sat locked in place, their muscles rippling as they tensed. Vincent could feel magic coursing through the gauntlet in his hand, strange and almost foreign. Realizing he might be blowing his cover, and revealing his true strength, he began to yield slightly, allowing the giant to push his arm close to the edge.

A cry was heard from the nest high above. “BLACK SAILS! BLACK SAILS!” The crew instantly scattered as the captain snapped into action, barking orders.

“All hands, get those cannons out! Get me some chain-shot and bring up the powder kegs, boys! To Starboard! Bring us about to face them! They don’t call her the witch of the seas for nothing, lads, let’s giv’em what the Irillien’s got!”

The crew cried out in unison, and all went about their duties, preparing guns and sails for battle. No one seemed to noticed as Vince flexed with his full strength and sent John’s hand smashing against the barrel, cracking the lid. The scholar’s eyes shot to Joseph, who had emerged from hiding armed to the teeth.

“Jo, my blade! We have time for charades later!”

[redford]

Joseph, having emerged from the cabin to see what the arm wrestle was about, darted back inside and emerged with both their swords and his own daggers. He tossed the sword to Vincent, which he caught deftly and spun out of its sheath. He turned to the Captain.

“How long until we are upon them?”

The captain called down, turning the ship’s wheel once more. “T’won’t be long now, the Irillien’s a fast one, and so is she,” he finished, pointing a finger toward the quickly-advancing black ship.

Who knew we would even be out here? We haven’t even made….. Joseph’s thoughts were interrupted by a revelation. He called out quickly to Vincent.

“Vince! Remember those nobles we ripped off to get this haul?”

Vince stopped short of helping load a cannon. “Yeah, what of…. Ooooohhhh.”

As if to punctuate his statement, a cannonball whistled overhead, followed by the roar of a distant crew and the rattle of swords. The captain abandoned his post to another sailor and barked more orders.

“Bring us alongside, men! Hold fast to stations and prepare to fire!”

A moment of eerie silence followed that almost frightened Joseph. Anticipation hung in the air and the only sound in the world for a split second was the wind through the sails and the rushing water beneath.

“FIRE!”

Cannonfire boomed in Joseph’s ears as a group of assailants swung on ropes in their direction. They landed, spying him as a soft target. Joseph smirked, drawing a dagger as the pirate advanced, running at him with sword held high.

Just as he was about to dodge, however, a massive form collided with the pirate’s blind side, sending him careening sideways and over the edge of the boat. Joseph looked up, already knowing it to be John. He turned his back to Joseph and spoke.

“Behind me.”

[redford]

John glanced to the side, ensuring the pirate lay motionless before scanning the ship, which was quickly being overrun with pirates. His practiced mind scanned their battlefield and tried to find a tactic that evened their odds.

We're outnumbered, he thought as he directed Joseph. It was his job to protect the noble, but if he didn't join the counterattack they would all be dead anyway.

"Joseph, get belowdecks, I'll ke-" His words were cut short by a trio of soldiers who burst from the deck fighting, their screams punctuated by another volley of the thunderous cannons below them. John prepared to strike, but Joseph stepped from behind him, deftly blocking his sword with a dagger and ducking under a second, using his off hand to pull a dagger from his thigh to slit the throat of the third man who trailed behind the other two. John joined the fray, kicking the knee of the first man, now off balance. His leg snapped, bending backward and screams of pain replaced those of battle. He turned, seeing Joseph pull a kerchief from his suit jacket, wiping the blood from his blades as the last man dropped. He smiled up at John, obviously quite pleased with his performance.

"I can take care of myself, my good man. What say we teach these pirates a lesson, eh?"

John's eyebrows raised. Though quite surprised, he knew this was not the time to be questioning what was going on on this gods-forsaken ship, and turned to join the fray as rusty iron hooks sprouted from the enemy ship, latching on to the Irillien. John thought of a terrible plan. But if it worked, an excellent one.

It just has to work, the half-giant thought as their ships drew closer, now barely two feet away from each other. A knife sprouted from his hand, and he sprinted toward the enemy ship, leaping across the water on the enemy vessel. The enemy ship, while formidable, appeared to be in disrepair, with frayed ropes and rotted deckboards here and there.

But he wasn't here to muse as to the cloaks and daggers. He was here to protect the ship and its contents, and right now that meant getting this ship away. He began to slash at the ropes holding their ships together, dodging a few sword strikes along the way, and knocking away more than one pirate who stepped up to stop him.

A voice rang out amidst another cannon volley.

"Oi! First to bring me the giant's head eats triple for a week!" The captain shouted, turning the ship's wheel. John smirked a little bit as he thought of another ploy.

This thing won't go anywhere without a wheel now, will it? A quintet of pirates stepped in front of him.

[Cards of Fate]

While Joseph and John had gone to cross the gap, Vince had opted for a bit of defense. Each swing of the scholar’s blade seemed as if it was part of some well-choreographed dance, spilling the blood of pirates without mercy. His unruly blonde hair danced in the wind as he spun about, blocking, parrying, and countering blows with the ease of seasoned soldier. Pistol shot cracked like lightning in this veritable storm of man and steel, causing Vince to have to move erratically to avoid being riddled with cheap musket balls and black powder.

The crew was faring well, no deaths yet as far as Vince could tell. The captain was brawling with five pirates at a time whilst the crew seemed to be involved in some brutal melee. Blood ran across the deck in a deluge, anything from a stray blade cut to a fatal gash freeing the crimson tide. With the mix of sea spray and blood, the deck was begining to grow slick. Every step Vince took was a test of faith, praying that he would not slip and fall, leaving him vulnerable to attack. All he could do was hope that John and Joseph were doing good work on the other side of the battle.

As if to punctuate his thought, Joseph leapt back over the railing as the two ships separated a few more feet, now having no ropes holding them together. John continued to wreak havoc in their ship as Joseph approached, dodging a few blows in the process to unite with him.

“I must say, I am glad we brought him along,” he said as they fought together. Vince nodded in agreement, ducking beneath an errant swing from a sloppy pirate.

“I concur!” Vince shouted back, plunging his blade through his aggressor. “Remind me when this is all said and done to give him a much longer contract!” The scholar chuckled at the absurdity of discussing business in the middle of combat, but the two were nothing if not absurd.

“What should his pay rate be?” Joseph asked as he slit a man’s throat, releasing a torrent of crimson. Vince pondered this for a moment as he pulled his blade free from the earlier man and quickly cut down two more men.

“I think we should have him on some sort of commission pay.” Vince offered, stopping to turn to Joseph. “You know, a small cut of all the goods he delivers safely to incentivise him to achieve,”

Joseph stifled a chuckle amidst disarming a pirate of his unfired pistol, killing another with it. “We should pay him based on his weight,” he said, tossing the pistol aside. “Thayne knows he’s worth three men right there!”

Vince stifled a guffaw as he kicked a man in the chest, sending him careening backwards and over the side of the boat into the blue sea below. “Goodness Joseph, he’d drive us bankrupt within a week with that sort of salary!”

“Well,” Jospeh began, tripping a pirate that was chasing a crewmember. “That all depends on how many people we don’t have to pay instead.”

The cracking of wood sounded from the other ship, and both entrepreneurs turned to see John just as he tore the wheel off the enemy ship, tossing it into the sea.
“I think…” Vince murmured staring in shock, “That I’m going to have to agree with you on that one…”

[redford]

John kicked a man down the stairs and he tumbled into his brethren, bowling them over. This was bad. He’d separated their ships, and thus removed their advantage in numbers, but had trapped himself on the boat with a hundred angry pirates who, at the moment, definitely did not fear his size. He blocked a sword strike and returned in kind as more of the pirates swarmed around him. Pain spiked his leg, and he swiped at it instinctively, bowling over a sailor. A dagger protruded from his leg and he reached down to yank it out as another blade pierced his back and several soldiers jumped upon him. Their captain’s voice boomed.

“Ha! Good work lads, this one worried me that’s for sure.” John looked up to see a shorter man in an old, tattered captain’s suit, complete with hat and coattails. He tried to advance, but the blade in his back twisted, causing him to wince in pain and grind out a curse. The pain, coupled with the six men holding him, bound him in place. The captain turned his gaze to the Irillien. “Now, my boy, you’re going to buy us our freedom.”

He called out across to the Irillien “If you want your giant to remain alive, you’ll offer my ship parlay!”

John thought to himself. Fat chance, pirate.

[redrout]

Vince, across the gap, pondered for a moment. “They’re going to try and ransom him to us…” he mused aloud to Joseph. “And let me tell you something about me Jo, I fucking hate negotiations.”

Joseph turned to the captain, knowing already what he had in mind. He murmured, “Captain, get me every gun on this boat ready to fire, quietly please.”

“A man after my own heart,” Vincent cooed, grinning. “Have the guns ready to fire on my mark, and no sooner or so fucking help me you will all be dead men.”

The captain set about giving orders and not screaming them as they pulled alongside the crippled pirate ship. A moment later and The captain returned, nodding in acknowledgment

“Ahoy!” Vince roared across the small gap. “I hear you’re in possession of my giant?” The entire crew save the captain looked slightly confused as Vincent stepped into a leadership role. “Unfortunately he isn’t for sale, so I’m going to be needing him back in one piece my good man.”

“Well, as long as you’re prepared to offer me and my crew their freedom, I don’t see why I should keep him,” The captain responded, stepping forward.

Joseph stepped forward a step and held himself with the air of a noble, brushing the charcoal from a shoulderpad. “My good man, that giant is definitely worth much more than you and your crew’s freedom.” He smirked evilly.

“But you cannot buy it.”

[Cards of Fate]

With that, Vince enacted his plan. The scholar burst forward as fast as he could, hitting speeds the men barely had time to process as he crossed the gap in a flash of blue light. Strapped to each of his legs were two flintlock pistols, “borrowed” from some deceased pirates. Before the pirate captain could bark an order, he found a bullet in his brain as Vince flew across the deck. The other gun took out one of the six men holding John, covering the man in a bloody mess. The men holding John barely had time to vocalize as they met Vince’s bloodied blade. Within a minute, Vincent had slain seven men.

Grabbing hold of John, the scholar grunted. “You need to go on the fucking atkins diet…” he groaned as he hefted John onto his shoulders. The pirates had begun to move, like a swarm of ants after their hill had just been kicked. Vince took one look at the way back to the ship, clogged by men and steel, and turned tail. “I hope you can fucking swim mittens…” he grunted as he took off, lugging the giant in tow. He got to the edge of the boat, put one boot on the side wall and yelled over his shoulder.

“FIRE.” With that he and John both tumbled into the deep blue as the Irelian did what she did best. Every single cannon unleashed fire and lead point blank into the disabled pirate ship. Somewhere below, the pirate powder kegs caught fire and exploded. The entire ship went up in an instant, raining splinters and fire all around it. Vince and John sank several feet into the water, letting the salter brine fill every orifice. Vincent looked to the surface, the salty water stinging his eyes, and watched for a proper opening.

With John anchoring him down, Vince kicked with all his might and speed and forcibly pulled the giant to the surface, gulping in fresh air as soon as they could. The smell of burning flesh, wood, and powder filled the air, leaving the two to ponder the destruction the had just escaped. John managed to grow a spike from his strange armored hand and plunge it into a piece of debris, anchoring them to the surface for the moment.

Somewhere above, the Captain’s voice could be heard. “Get those guns loaded men! I ain’t waiting to see if she sinks! Get those two up from the drink!”

Another volley sounded overhead and what was left of the ship went quickly into the deep, taking any survivors with it, save Vincent and John. The two treaded water whilst the crew took the ship around the flames and threw ropes below to the two.

“So…” Vince mused as the ship rolled up. “Want a job?”

A rope soon appeared, and several of the larger crew members pulled the two of them up into the Irillien. John’s injuries, while not life threatening, had bled profusely, and he sat on the deck with his back on a cannon as the doctor sewed his leg shut. The half-giant absently reached into his pocket, withdrawing a small wooden box. He opened it, and several floppy, dripping cigars fell out, salty and ruined. He sighed exasperatedly.

“Damn,” he said, leaning his head back. Joseph merely chuckled.

“With what we’ll be paying you friend, I wouldn’t worry too much.”