Round 1: Dissinger Vs Abomination

[Abomination]

Draug's breath was becoming heavy, with each one causing blood spurts all over his body. He needed time to regenerate all these wounds, and Seth would not let up long enough for that to happen. Most of the bandages had fallen off at this point, revealing how many stitches covered his upper body, making him look like a jigsaw puzzle. The Abomination discarded the axe, and the arms sticking out of his shoulders grow longer and leaner. If he simply managed to grab the Demon, it would be over.

Yet, his mind was clouded. Fragmented memories that didn't make sense filled his mind, was Seth Dahlios even alive? At one point he existed between life and death, and now he appeared to be whole. There were a few useful memories, however.

Blood dripped from his mouth as he said, "You're tenderizing me... Is this how you butchered Thomas?" Seth nearly choked. "What were you thinking? A wife and a daughter. Those things are not for monsters like us. If you didn't allow this weakness to get a stranglehold, you could have been... useful." Draug started walking towards Seth, his feet almost rooted into the ground with each step, kicking up large amounts of dirt. "Abandon this placid, feeble, imaginary life you think you're leading! Embrace your true self!"

The Abomination ran at Seth again, limbs growing from his body and stretching out to each side to cut off Seth's escape. However, the Demon strategically threw several of his Lung Poppers at Draug's joints, aiming for his knees and ankles. The blades dug in and nearly made Draug lose his balance, and rolled past the Abomination, retrieving the discarded battle axe and using it to cut down the extra limbs as they flew towards him. With each one he felled, blood sprayed onto him, and he felt the diseased flesh sinking into his skin. He had heard of what happened to people who fought Draug for too long, which is why he needed to end this soon. The Dark Son turned around and tried to grab Seth with several new arms, managing to barely wrap his claws around Seth's left bicep. The Demon swung the axe and chopped off the excess arms, but not before Draug squeezed down and caused something to snap inside. Seth grunted in pain and retreated, unable to raise his left arm above his shoulder anymore. The axe was weighing him down too much to dodge effectively, so his last act with it was tossing it like a boomerang and cutting into Draug's shin.

It was not a strong enough throw to completely cut through Draug's leg, but it was enough to make him stumble and fall backwards. Seth knew from the way the Abomination carried himself that his appearance belied his true mass, which meant that causing him to fall would cause a lot more damage than to a normal man. Draug fell, causing the ground to shake so hard that even Seth nearly fell with him. Draug felt several bones in his back crack, and for a moment it appeared as though his spine was damaged.

The Demon wasted no time. With Draug unable to move, he was at the mercy of his spells. He massaged his neck and tried to cast one of his spells, the effort causing him great physical strain.

"L-Life's...passing," he coughed. "... You... by!"

"No!" Draug yelled. "Life's passing you by!" They both released the spell at the same time, grey orbs of light flying at each other at the speed of an arrow. When it looked like the orbs were going to cancel each other out, they simply phased through each other, which caused Seth to just barely dodge it. Draug, being immobile on his back at this time, conjured an iron tower shield from his body and separated it right as the spell hit, causing it to disperse and dissipate. Right after the orbs were gone, Draug reached into the ground and pulled as hard as he could, causing a great mount of earth to rise from the ground. Along with the dirt, the great sword The Damned, which was buried up until this point, rose up and was long enough to reach Seth as it was coming out of the ground. The Demon tried to avoid the massive blade, but it grazed his side and the force sent him flying across the graveyard.

Draug's body then appeared to lift up on its own, as if he was levitating. In actuality, he was growing body parts from his back that were pushing off the ground, allowing him to get back onto his feet. Unfortunately, his mobility was rather stifled due to the damage, but now wielding The Damned he made sure that Seth could not close the distance to keep him from regenerating again. The main problem for Draug now was that he was low on blood, so he had to make a choice to either regenerate his wounds with his remaining supply, or use it for... another purpose.

He grinned.

[Dissinger]

The demon was forced to a knee. He felt weak, so very weak. His body felt like lead, breathing burned his chest, a constant wave of agony that refused to relent. To tell the truth, the demon was losing steam, badly. Still he kept fighting on, kept pushing. His daughter relied on him to not lose to Draug Remi today. Failure wasn't an option and so he looked about him, a smile gracing his face when he noticed something. Draug was slower, the wounds not even closing up. If Seth were to hazard a guess as to what was going on, he would have told someone that the Abomination was nearing empty on his reserves.

A hand pushed off his knee, forcing his upper body to move. With the act of motion he swung himself to his feet, carefully standing and watching the Homunculus. Eyes drank in the slowed movement slowly before the demon began to move again. He seemed to be rushing to his fate, only to have Draug swing, and Seth roll once more past him. The Dark Son had no way of taking advantage of his knowledge with the fatigue hitting both fighters and so Seth slid past in relative safety. A few of the arms grasped at him and tore at his shirt, but he was unscathed, for now.

Draug seemed to watch the demon as a hand roughly grabbed for the piece of wood he had spied earlier, finding the ax he had taken out the homunculi with. Blood smeared on his hands more as he wiped his brow moving sweat from his eyes. The ground was a festering quagmire of blood, and still the demon was not sated. Looking at Draug he carefully balanced the ax over a shoulder eyeing the Homunculus who seemed keen on studying the mage, letting him do as he pleased. Seth gave him a nod of acknowledgment moving towards the Homunculi.

That roguish grin never left his face as he carefully rested the axe across his shoulders, gripping the haft of the ax tightly. Draug seemed put off by the confident act, before Seth twisted his torso and brough the axe about cleaving into the abomination's right arm. The brittle bone snapped under the strain even as he used a boot to kick the stump back. Using his mobility he looked at it before he snorted, just as he thought.

Tattooed upon the palm was a circle covered in arcane formula. To the layman one would think it was a circle for sealing away something, and were not entirely wrong. Seth recognized it as an alchemist's circle, something necessary for transmuting things on a larger scale. Looking over at Draug he observed the other arm and thought he saw a similar tattoo on the other palm and snorted softly. Just his luck that he wouldn't be able to strip the Homunculus of Alchemy so easily. He stumbled a step as another wave of weakness flooded his frame, and the Hex Magi shook his head to collect his thoughts barely acknowledging the fist coming for him in time to move around the outstretched limb. A knife was plucked from his blet before he grabbed the wrist and torqued the arm, forcing draug into an uncomfortable position and stabbed a knife right under the armpit.

Draug was not a normal human, but whoever had made him based on common human conventions. One thing Seth had learned was a shot just under the armpit had the potential to rupture a small sack that store poisons within the body. He had been an unfortunate on the reciving end of the crippling nausea and pain that such a ruptured sack brought on a few occasions. Realizing he was still too close to the homunculi, he left Spite in the armpit of the abomination and moved back, backpedaling before he hit a tombstone and collapsed upon the blood muddied ground. He was down to one knife, and still wasn't sure he could comfortably use the gift of the magi and reset into a good position. Ebony and Ivory were hiding in the grass and he thought he could see one of the two knives glinting in the light.

[Abomination]

While the limbs he grew from his body were strong, they did not compare to the strength of his two main arms. Now left with only his left arm, Draug struggled to lift The Damned. He could no longer swing it with enough speed to catch the Demon. The memories in his mind bothered him, it was the first time he assimilated someone... reborn. He looked up and saw the faint traces of dawn creeping over the horizon. Before it could set in, a cloud covered up the light of the moon, plunging the two into near darkness. The pain was starting to catch up with him, and he dropped the sword in order to keep blood from escaping the stump attached to his right shoulder. He was aware of the Demon's attack, pulled the weapon out of his armpit, feeling the effects of the poison run throughout his body. However, it was nothing compared to the plague within him, so he merely endured the nauseating sensation that it brought.

"Your history is confusing," he declared. "Beyond a certain point, it stops. Just like mine." Seth merely smirked at this apparent revelation. "I don't usually think about it. I always thought that I was created from scratch, but I found out that was not the case." He shook his head. "No matter..." The decision to end Seth's life did not come lightly. It was in direct opposition to his orders, but he had no choice.

He stretched his remaining arm down to the ground, causing the same lightning bolts to ricochet from his fingers to the ground. This kept Seth back for a few moments longer, waiting to see what tricks the Abomination was unleashing, but nothing happened. Did the spell fail, or was something sinister happening underground? Then, Draug began to change. His figure grew a few feet, the skin on his body sloughing off to reveal his bones and muscles. His sharp teeth grew all the way to his ears, and his eyes became bright slits of yellow surrounded by black chasms. His spine elongated, giving him a hunched over look, and the rest of his body thickened to match his new height. His tongue elongated so much that it hung from his mouth all the way down to his chest, resting between rows of his seemingly never-ending teeth.

"That small form," he said in a voice that seemed to echo for miles. A deep, guttural voice that was half choking on blood, half exhaling. "Can be quite restricting." The ground shook beneath them, the Demon nearly stood on his toes, ready to avoid whatever was coming at him. However, the avenues of escaped all closed up at once.

Bursting from the ground, tentacles made of flesh and muscle rose up everywhere, slithering above ground like snakes. Inside of them were all of Draug's remaining weaponry, including all his daggers and swords. He counted nearly a dozen of them around him, with a dozen more around Draug's immediate area, although he couldn't see clearly if they were moving. They swayed in the wind, and Seth wondered how he managed to grow so many of them so quickly, and how they were here when he was there. Then, he noticed Draug's feet, and how firmly they were rooted into the ground. The Dark Son was barely moving at all during the last series of attacks, was it because he was growing himself from his feet? Every time Draug attacked, his appendages were always directly connected to him, with the exception of the flesh hounds and golem. The tentacles were likely no different. Seth knew he needed to gain even more distance to evaluate the situation, but when he tried to back off, all of the tentacles flew at him like whips, wrapping themselves around him so tightly that he was frozen in mid-air, unable to move.

Draug lifted his left hand and held it out as if there was a cup in it, "Your daughter will be joining you soon."

Then, he closed his hand, and the tentacles all shot out the weapons that were within them. Seth Dahlios was impaled from every direction, filled with more sharp implements than he could count.

The Lavinian Demon's heartbeat stopped.

[Dissinger]

Life faded from him slowly, it dripped out with every bit of blood leaving his body. His clothes were a tattered wreck from the blades that destroyed them on their way to his vital organs. The body hung limply in the embrace of the tentacles unable to support itself as the last vestiges of Seth's soul began to empty from the husk that was once his body. Thoughts echoed through his head, so many thoughts, so many possibilities. His eyes rolled up into his head before his body spasmed once, then again, the final last gasps of energy leaving the frame of the body.

This is how it ends...I die, I wasn't strong enough?

Seth Dahlios had prided himself on a strength that kept the monsters at bay. Draug Remi had been cowed by The Lavinian Demon's reputation, and now that was lost along with Seth's life. Trying to figure out where Cassandra Remi had taken his daughter was perhaps a foolhardy quest at best. Samantha Ambria would die, and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. He was a failure, he couldn't win, he couldn't defeat the darkness before him. He hadn't plunged into hatred's womb and stolen what he needed to save his daughter.

He felt anger kindle in his chest, a feeling of rage at the impotency in his situation. It warmed him, giving him a bonfire as he tread once more into the afterlife. Liliana wouldn't be coming for him, that much was assured. He was a failure to her, to his daughter, to everyone. He stopped his tread forth, into death and turned back, looking upon the shattered wreck of his body. Draug Remi had released it, leaving it to rot for some reason, pehaps not quite ready to assimilate him into Draug's conscience yet. Looking down upon his body he felt the rage in his chest reach a tipping point, and kicked the body with a fury he had long restrained.

The body began to spasm with the act, flopping over on the ground.

“Get up, we have work to do,” Seth commanded.

The body remained limp on the ground.

“I said get up!” Another savage kick rocked the body once more. Draug was surely watching the spectacle now. Seth reached down grabbing his head by the hair and yelled, “We don't die, until we are god damn ready to. I refuse to let some showboating piece of trash homunculus stop us now! We have a job to do and fuck you if you want to sleep on the job!”

Magic woke within the form of Seth Dahlios. The body twitching before the sounds of popping and cracking left the body. The ribs realigned before painfully reattaching. His left bicep, shattered above the elbow snapped back into place before magic fused the bones into one solid piece once more. The cuts and slashes to his form closed up, even as new blood flooded into his body. The bruises around his windpipe began to fade and slowly disappeared all together.

“Wake up!” Seth screamed at his corpse, before he felt a tug, and suddenly his eyes bolted open. The cool air of the cemetery once more brushed against his skin, his hands pushing against blood soaked ground. The final resting place of many a person was no longer his personal grave. Draug Remi seemed to sputter at the idea that Seth was pushing off the ground and getting up. All through the fight, Seth had a spark of life to his eyes, something that set him apart from the mindless killing machnes of the Cult of Blessed Torture. When last the Homunculi had seen them, that spark had remained, defiant to the very end.

Now, now there wasn't a shred of the light in them. It was as if something was possessing Seth as he roughly grabbed a lung popper from the ground and casually twirled it. The demeanor wasn't the jovial feel that had graced the beginning of the fight, but one of agitation, anger, and hatred. Seth's dead eyes looked upon the half wrecked homunculus and he spit a wad of blood and phlegm onto the ground. The act seemed to be the final act before the damn burst his anger rising with every act of reawakening.

“Play time's up...” Seth said, his voice colder than the snowy dunes of Salvar. The arctic chill was only surpassed by the grace that he raced forward charging the Homunculi. Draug's eyes seemed to widen at the foolhardy charge even as he tried to swing his god awfully large sword at the demon. He was strong, that was for sure, but these big knifes all had one major flaw, they took too long to bring back to a ready position if they missed.

Unlike Draug who got maybe a minute or two's rest, Gift of the Magi had revitalized him and given him energy. He was fighting almost as if he were fresh, right from the start. He easily slid to the side, avoiding the sword slash and threw the orb at his opponent before he spoke up, “I'm gonna enjoy tearing you to pieces Draug Remi, and when I'm done I'll get my answers from you, one way or another. I will sell my soul to the Father himself if it means my little girl is safe. I will sear the flesh from your bones and grind them to dust, and still Draug Remi you will not have suffered enough!”

[Abomination]

Draug missed the attack, The Damned climbing towards the sky and kicking up a gust of wind, but his flesh tentacles were rapidly approaching the Demon. If they had another moment, they would have skewered him once more, but Seth succeeded in his gambit. The black light spread across the Abomination's body, paralyzing not only him but all of his extraneous appendages. The tentacles stopped just short of piercing Seth's skull, frozen in time. Even his sword was stuck in the air, still held out by his remaining outstretched arm. He tried to move, but it was a fruitless effort, as he was completely entranced. However, he was also entranced.

Despite being unable to talk or even breathe, Draug was impressed by Seth's resilience. He didn't know that Seth could literally return from the dead, and his memories hinted that maybe even Seth didn't know. There was something otherworldly about the Demon, something that he doesn't tap into, or maybe feared tapping into it. The Abomination had never been returned from death, he was always in some form alive, but Seth was different. Death was a revolving door for him. Maybe he could actually accomplish Mother's task.

Seth Dahlios noticed that most of the flesh tentacles around Draug were fake; mere manifestations of stone created by alchemy. He was not as cornered as he thought he was.

The Demon sneered, "I'm going to make sure neither you nor anyone else threatens my family again. After this, it's over, I'm hunting you all down and not leaving even a droplet of blood behind. But first, knowing you, this is going to be the strongest, most effective cast of this spell yet. So tell me, how about some penance for your sins?"

Seth looked down and concentrated on the growing purple ball of energy in his hands. In his heightened state of magic, it took no time at all for the spell to manifest in his hands. He looked at the Abomination in fury, not the arrogance or cockiness he had before. He wanted this creature to find new ways of suffering. Death probably meant nothing to it, it claimed its very existence to be torture, but Seth believed that he could make Draug hurt.

As he was about to throw the magical sphere, he heard something stomping through the graveyard towards him. He turned around but Draug's fake spires of mud were in his line of sight, but it didn't matter, for they were destroyed by the flesh hound that jumped through them. Instinct took over as Seth unleashed the spell into the hound, who seemed unfazed as it pinned Seth down and threatened to rip off his face. He noticed out of the corner of his eye what was behind the alchemical creature, and it was the tree that Draug felled near the beginning of the fight, burst open from where the hound came out. Did he put the hound there back then as a backup plan?

The Demon lifted his foot and kicked the hound off of him, watching it act strangely for a moment. Did his spell not work on... things... like that? Then, it happened. As it was a part of Draug, it shared his sins. Hundreds of cuts appeared all over its body, as if it was being rolled up in a carpet made of knives. It shook violently as each cut got deeper and deeper, the very air around it turning red from all the blood it was letting out. When it was all over, nothing was left but tiny pieces of meat and bone. The creature was completely eviscerated beyond comprehension.

Seth had no time to revel in the spell's brutality, because another spell had vanished with his aggressive act. After being suspended in the air, Draug's sword came down with force, causing Seth to back off as it hit the ground and created a small crater of dirt. They had dug so deep in this graveyard, caskets were starting to become visible. The Abomination knew he had little time before Seth's next attack, so he dropped the sword and placed his palm onto the ground.

"We have a mission for you," Draug said. "If you succeed, we will release your daughter unharmed."

If Seth wasn't so angry, he would have laughed. "Trying to buy time now? You're more pathetic than I thought."

"I don't care if you believe me or not. The only reason we kept her alive is because of your eventual usefulness. If you wish to squander her life here and now, be my guest."

"I'm sick of your flapping lips, corpse. I'm going to put you out of your misery, for good." An orb of pure blackness formed on Seth's hand, its darkness making the rest of the scenery look bright and lively in comparison.

"I live for the day when you can make good on that promise. For now, you have a job to do. It's simple really, you can even use that spell you're holding there. Kill Rayse Valentino. That's all." The ground shook beneath Draug, the transmutation circle on his hand glowing and shaping the dirt. Seth charged him, Malice in hand and heart, ready to erase the Abomination for good.

But by the time the Demon reached him, all that was left was the bottomless pit that Draug fell into. The sun came up, shining light onto the blood-filled battlefield, and Seth was owed one question. While he did not get to ask it, he may already have his answer.

[Dissinger]

The homunculus had left, giving him an order from Cassandra Remi. He stared down into the hole, even as the light of the sun shown down on the Cemetery. Life was beginning to return to the world, the distant chirping of birds waking up. The demon remained resolute in watching the hole for any sign of a bottom, and knew he never would. Draug had run, fearing for his life. This pleased the demon momentarily, until he realized that he still didn't know where Cassandra Remi was.

Cries lit up the air behind him as the Ixian Knights flooded into the Cemetery. He knew they would be searching for members of the Cult of Blessed Torture, trying to find what happened to colleagues that had gone with Seth. More than one man was vomiting from the dead abomination left in the wake of Draug Remi's attack, and the disembodied arms from earlier. Seth turned to see Jensen Ambrose staring at him, his mouth opening with what would probably be some pithy remark before Seth amrched past him, “Save it Immortal. I'm not in the mood.”

He reached down grabbing the arm that still had a transmutation circle holding it up and making sure it was preserved. He then tossed it to Jensen Ambrose the Enigmatic Immortal, and the Ixian General of the Wet-works squad before he began, “Tell your girlfriend to trace that, either she can trace the arm back to Draug, or she can trace the magic in the tattoo back to him. Either way you will know where he goes.”

The light had uncovered a cemetery drenched in blood. Where before it had been a somber place of rest, now it was a charnal house that reflected the life of the Lavinian Demon. Broken tombstones, once the markers of friends and family, forever desecrated in the name of preserving his daughter. How many people had he killed, how many men sent to their deaths, just for a chance at finding out where the Cult's main base had been? The answer was not easy to explain, for even those on the edge of the fight between Seth and Cassandra had become casualties. It was hard to put a number when even people neither were aware of were among the fatalities.

The tombstone that held his hat and coat remained a stalwart companion, offering that which had been surrendered back without a single complaint. Seth carefully set the wide brim hat back upon his head and carefully placed the jacket back on while feeling the eyes of the immortal on his back. He carefully shouldered his satchel, ready to leave and never return. It was then he heard Jensen clear his throat. Seth didn't even look at the immortal before he hissed, “If you have something to say Ambrose, say it and be done with it.”

“How did you survive?” The immortal asked finally, “I watched the tail end of that fight, there was no way anyone impaled with that many blades could have walked away like you did.”

Seth stopped and looked down, feeling a bit of raw anger still burning in his chest. He closed his eyes before he shook his head and looked up at the sky, seeming to search for answers, “I don't know. I was angry he killed me, and the next thing I know, I'm here fully healed and ready to go again.”

“You mean to tell me that you got so angry you came back from the dead boogeyman?” Jensen replied, looking at Seth incredulously.

“Yeah, I did. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bit of anger to restrain before I knife someone on my side of this fucked war. If anyone find's my blades just get them in a bag and leave them at my dorm. I'll be by tonight to grab them,” Seth retorted, before he left the cemetery.

His life had once been a quiet and serene place. It had seen many hot and cold days, but it was a respectable life.

Then he had planted his first tombstone. Thomas, his best friend had been sent to bring him in. He was wanted for murdering two guards who had raped and broken the love of his life. Men who had been found strung up in town square with various words for their many crimes carved into their flesh. That day had been the beginning on the path of darkness. The first signpost was the cruel trick he played, that caused him to end his friend's life.

He tried to put the past behind him. Ignoring the signs that he had fallen. He had tried to reason that anyone in the same situation would do the same. In the end he had planted many more tombstones, placing them as markers for how badly his life had been going. At one point he had boasted about having a kill count so numerous, it would have emptied a small village.

Then he shattered those markers when he attempted to move on with his life. He had a wife and kid, the quiet serenity turned his cemetery into a place of silent reflection. Maybe he could leave the dead to their fates, and move beyond the fields of tombstones. He had tended to the cemetery, planting shade for the mass graves he had created in his lust for power.

Then Cassandra Remi had placed an abomination within that cemetery. A foe he would have to struggle with for all eternity. Seth Dahlios had shattered the sanctity of his own cemetery in an effort to combat the demons that plagued his bloodline. He was no longer a place of quiet and serenity, he was now an engine of wrath destroying the quiet life he once had. There was no going back, he had drenched his graveyard once more in blood.

Soon, there would be many more tombstones to plant in his garden....

[Abomination]

I know this won't count toward the match, but I wanted to have a little epilogue anyway.

Memnar was poring over his books, illuminated only by the dim candlelight in the study. His fingers traced the ancient writings within, and each passage caused a mischievous grin to sprout from his lips. The flames flickered for a moment, but he did not pull his eyes from the pages.

"I take it your task went well, seeing as how you came back alive," he said. Draug was standing behind him, covered in dried blood. All of his wounds were gone, his arm restored, and a frown was spread across his mouth.

"You didn't tell me he could revive himself," said Draug.

"Can he, now?" Memnar took a sip from a nearby goblet. "News to me. So I take it you found him worthy, although..." He glanced back. "You're in good shape. I expected you to be more beat up."

Draug shook his head, "Hex magic. He has one that restores his body. I used it on myself."

"Sounds like you could've continued fighting then."

"No!" Draug clenched his fists. "That damn spell took over my body and made me run! I was miles away by the time it ran out! Also, he did something that wasn't in my memories. The only words that pop up in my head are Wrath Engine."

Memnar closed the book and stood up from his chair, "Interesting. Looks like Mother was right in finding him to be a threat. We shouldn't return his daughter after all. But he'll still do the job, he knows what will happen if he pursues us." Draug glared at him, a wanting look in his eyes. "Oh, you're probably wondering why we didn't just send you to do this job. It's simple really... you're not quite compatible for it. You would be incinerated instantly. Seth Dahlios and his hex magic are perfect for the job. Of course, if we could find that damn spy none of this would be necessary. Rayse has been completely squelching any attempt we've tried to gain a foothold in Salvar. He knows exactly where we are at all times, and it's even agitating Mother. He needs to be dealt with."

The candlelight flickered once more, and Draug was gone. Memnar sighed and sat back down. "Don't fail us, Seth Dahlios. You have no idea how close I am to turning your daughter into one of my... experiments."

[Lye]

Thread is Closed to be judged shortly.

[Logan]

Hey guys, thank you for your patience in us getting this thing judged. As such, I did give you each a little extra judge's discretionary boost in wild card (kept it balanced between you both) and a tiny boost in the exp and gp rewards.


Dissinger


Plot -- 18/30


Story - 8/10 - The story here entranced me through and through. The entirety of this battle held vast amount of lore which found itself intertwined with plenty of each's individual story arcs. This is easily the highest category for the two of you, but specifically for Diss.
Setting - 7/10 - The use of setting in the battle sequences was solid, but where you really shined with setting was within the conclusion and turning it into a metaphorical representation of Seth's life. It was a wonderful use of language and prose, and it really helped solidify the end of the battle to mean something more.
Pacing - 3/10 - There were times when the pacing felt right, and then times where it felt wrong. The best example of good pacing is Seth's out of body experience. It was a perfect and abrupt stop, but then it ripped into the next sequence of battle components. I consider, personally, that type of pacing to be far too often ignored as it sets the tone and mood for the thread at that moment. The really bad parts were when you switched back and forth between each other in the same post. It just ripped apart any semblance of flow you had going.


Character -- 18/30


Communication - 5/10 - The dialogue was solid at times, and there were plenty of non-verbal visual cues. If anything, I would say at times the dialogue did feel forced, such as early on in your intro. Dialogue by itself is okay, but when you couple it with action it becomes substance. Your intro dialogue (before you met up with Draug) needed to be substantial, and it just felt flat to me.
Action - 6/10 - There certainly was plenty of action going on in this thread. I gave you an extra point here for the out of body moment as again it split the action battle sequence nicely, and it was a moment of action that was truly magnificent in the flow of the battle. I did dock you for a couple of moments where I didn't quite comprehend how Draug goes from being unstoppable to suddenly being a whipping boy to the chains. There were other moments like that, but that is the most prominent that stuck with me.
Persona - 7/10 - You obviously have a good grasp on who Seth is as a character and where he has been and is going. You understand his storyline, and pulled in bits and pieces while giving the reader a real sense of what lies ahead. This would have been higher had you actually played out the out of body bit a little bit more, or gave me a bit more of angered Seth. I realize it was close to the end of the fight, but it just felt like it needed to be even more than it was or go on more than it did.


Prose -- 18/30


Mechanics - 5/10 - If there is any category you need to improve on, it is here. There were various misspellings, typos, tense changes in the same paragraph, etc. I could tell when you posted from your phone versus when you wrote the post at home (or edited at home before posting). I know it can be tough to pre-edit a post on a mobile device, but you would certainly improve your scores greatly with just that one act. I can grab examples if you want them, but you're a seasoned veteran and you should know where they are by now.
Clarity - 6/10 - The majority of the time I felt as a reader I understood what was happening in your posts. There were a few moments where due to typos or mistakes something didn't make sense and I had to go over it a second time to infer what you meant. Example of the poor side is the crossbar bit with the abomination in the early part of the battle. I don’t know if I just missed something upon reading or if the paragraph's construction just was poorly done, but it left me scratching my head.
Technique - 7/10 - You both are practically masters of the English language, and you both consistently threw in various subtle techniques to enhance your writing. It showed. I alluded to the metaphorical cemetery use in the conclusion as being the best form of technique, and had to dock you a few for stumbling block moments where typos and such detracted from the thread. I don't really know how you could improve this without becoming too flowery other than focusing on your mechanics.


Wildcard -- 8/10 - I gave you 5 points for the tardiness of the judgement, and 3 additional for the out of body moment. It was beautifully done and really pulled me back into the thread at a point where my drive to finish reading it began to wane. Well done!


Total: 62/100




Abomination


Plot -- 17/30


Story - 5/10 - There is a quality story to who Abomination is, and I was happy to see you draw elements of that story out throughout the course of the battle. You stayed mostly focused primarily on the battle itself (the here and now, if you will), and at times it felt like, as a reader, I missed out of something more of who Draug was. Sure, if a reader followed Draug from beginning to end on Althanas they might know all of the small subtle nods at various story bits, but that isn't always going to be the case for the reader. The abomination is a good example of this. You make it clear Draug made it for Seth, but there is an element to that where the reader is supposed to infer why. I think the why needed to be clearer.
Setting - 7/10 - While Diss gained points for the use of the cemetery after the battle, you gained points here for your description of Draug awakening (so to speak) within it. You toyed at the aspect of the sun and darkness at various times so eloquently, I enjoyed it. I could see this setting and it made sense throughout.
Pacing - 5/10 - Your flow felt discombobulated as the thread switched to joint posting, but when you were the only writer of your posts (I'm specifically looking to your intro and the not included in the judgement conclusion), you shined here. I honestly wish you both would've just wrote your individual posts and just left them shorter, because I feel it would've made for a far better paced read.


Character -- 20/30


Communication - 5/10 - Your dialogue was hit or miss at times. Sometimes it felt like the right comment at the right time such as "You will feel my pain". I would've preferred Draug not explain in dialogue the whole concept of his pain being constant, and instead letting it be explained from the point of narration or through other means. The paragraph that followed is an example of dialogue feeling forced. It was too much at the wrong time. Shorter and to the point would've done wonders for you at times like those.
Action - 7/10 - I rarely misunderstood what you intended in Draug's actions. From the raising of the abomination to the final moments where Draug disappears into an endless pit within the ground, it all made sense with the exception of one moment in the battle. I understood how Draug had all of the weapons during the tentacles, but the whole of the tentacles wasn't well-written in my opinion and it left me a bit confused the first read-through. Once I read it the second time it made a bit more sense, but the fact I had to read a second time to comprehend it hurt you here.
Persona - 8/10 - Your early flavor for Draug was some of the best character writing I've read to date of any writer. As the thread wore on, you lost some of the early seasoning and went for pure meat, and it kind of lost some of the flavor of Draug. It just became this flesh beast doing crazy crap. It reminded of an anime, and while that isn't a bad thing, at times animes are over the top. And I felt like Draug, especially nearer the end, became over the top and no longer felt like Draug. He felt flat by being so over the top.


Prose -- 22/30


Mechanics - 8/10 - There was certainly a clear divide when it came to your mechanics compared to Dissinger's. You obviously took the time to proofread your posts before posting or at least make necessary edits thereafter. The lack of typos and mistakes made your posts easier to read. The only thing you could have improved on was the use of tenses when you switched to joint posting.
Clarity - 8/10 - Outside of the couple of moments where I thought to myself "wait, what?", you did excellent at making sure everything made sense in the moment. If I isolate out your posts, I understand almost every action, every thought, every sentence. Again, improvement would be found in the joint posting where you both just disrupted the flow of the thread in favor of longer posts.
Technique - 6/10 - Whereas I gave Dissinger credit for the use of the cemetery as a literary device, your lack of using it for something more than just a physical house hurt you a point here. You found other ways to incorporate various literary techniques, so this was a close category for that reason. One other place I docked you for was using 5' instead of just writing out five foot. It didn't hurt you badly, but it definitely would have made the flow of that one sentence significantly better.


Wildcard -- 9/10 - I also gave you the 5 points for the tardiness of the judgement. I added another 3 points for the introduction you gave to the battle, and an additional point as judge's discretion.


Total: 68/100


Additional Commentary: Overall, this thread was a great read, but as I alluded to in my comments numerous times you both fell short once you delved into the joint posting. For each of you, it would have been better to just stick to shorter posts and let your own personal styles shine through. I did enjoy the thread, and found a certain entertainment value in reading it. Thank you for your patience!


Dissinger receives 1403 EXP and 200 GP
Abomination receives 5377 EXP and 300 GP

Judge's Secondary Note: Finishing a thread in the tournament over 10 posts was worth 5%, plus you gained another 5% for the long judgement wait time. I also awarded you each with extra GP. Thank you for your patience once again. I know it was quite the harrowing experience.