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Thread: Curratore Dam [WIDE OPEN]

  1. #11
    Member
    EXP: 5,386, Level: 3
    Level completed: 10%, EXP required for next level: 3,614
    Level completed: 10%,
    EXP required for next level: 3,614
    GP
    1,531
    K-Zu-Ziro's Avatar

    Name
    K-Zu-Ziro
    Race
    Insectoid
    Gender
    Genderless
    Eye Color
    Reflective, black
    Job
    First Scout of the Hostoland Empire

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    Four of six were dead, and the two lingering separatists made haste with their fleeting moments. A fugitive life lay ahead, a destructive legacy lay behind. Critically damaged, but not destroyed, Currutore's fate as the future delight of a snorkeling archaeologist was all but sealed. The final two explosives sat placed and primed, but not detonated, at either end of the upper section. The seventh member of the original crew had her wrinkled finger on the trigger and would ignite the remaining devices the very second her two comrades had successfully escaped the limits of the blast radius.

    An errant block, artificially angular and colossal in mass, sloshed through the roiling waters and ran along the ongoing duel. The majesty of Alerar's ancient stonemasons fell to the looming shadow of Mother Ivra's savage indifference. The force of the bulging river drove the stone with so much power that it ploughed into the sodden mud of the river's bank. Timed with impeccable inconvenience, the freshly shoved mud pressed against K-Zu-Ziro's ankle and caused the creature to teeter just as the purple whirl of Krotar's runed beam blade emerged from the water's spray with murderous prowess. "Barrrgggghhh!" Ziro backed into a fall and Digsy's straps seemed to loosen. The rodent's vocal distress proved immaterial, K-Zu-Ziro attempted to block the incoming blade by crossing its pincers in an X across its chest as it tumbled backwards.

    Impact was always agony, but this agony played the role of an accomplice to the amputation of K-Zu-Ziro's precious pincer—the left one. The iron-equivalent sword cracked into the snapping appendage and left it hanging by a single sinew. No clear break had been made at the joint, instead the insectoid's wrist was a jagged wreck of stabbing spurs. The sinew tore and the claw fell alone into the muddy waters. Ziro's fall followed, it fell onto the hulking rock; the flattened granite scraped the giant bug's back upon connection. As though it were lying in bed, the creature looked up from its prone state and at the furious mask of Krotar. A second wound meant a second oozing breach that would inevitably sap the insectoid's movement system dry.

    "Dying once was bad enough. You're supposed the be the glorious child of T-Zu-Hosto. This is just fantastic."

    Mux Drik's sarcastic diatribe permeated their shared mind and focused a spotlight on his own sanity; it hinged on the virtually hopeless notion that one day the back door to his birdcage might be left open. To truly perish, for keeps, locked within K-Zu-Ziro would be final horror for a life stolen. Digsy, still strapped onto Ziro's shoulder, wriggled frantically. “Come on! Let's go!!!” the rodentine member of the trio reverted to a primal state and bore his impressive gnashers at the encroaching demon.

    K-Zu-Ziro—carrying two injuries, flat on the ground before a lethal rival and finding movement more difficult by the second—readied itself for another strike…

  2. #12
    Member
    EXP: 1,680, Level: 1
    Level completed: 84%, EXP required for next level: 320
    Level completed: 84%,
    EXP required for next level: 320
    GP
    445
    Arch_Nemsis's Avatar

    Name
    Nosdyn Krotar
    Age
    N/A
    Race
    Demon of Haidia
    Gender
    ~M
    Hair Color
    Black
    Eye Color
    Gold/Yellow
    Job
    Bad Ass

    View Profile
    For a long moment, the demon was actually surprised that his attack had hit.

    My previous entanglements in The Citadel were for naught...this is...a good change of pace. Nosdyn thought to himself.

    He carefully studied the putrid blood that poured from the injury that he'd given his opponent. Something happened at that point, Nosdyn hesitated. He wasn't sure what it was about the fact that he'd hurt someone...and quite badly... that felt so damned anti climatic. Nosdyn was angry to be sure, but he did not want to substitute a confused opponent for the true opponent. Nosdyn's aura of fear was permeating his body as he stood before the injured creature, water was everywhere. Nosdyn amplified his fear aura to it's fullest potential. He stared directly into Ziro's eyes at that point. The maddening sound of Nosdyn's weapon seemed to make the air vibrate. Then, Nosdyn shut his weapon off, the magnificent blade vanishing into thin air. Nosdyn attached his weapon to the scabbard area of his belt and looked back towards Ziro. Nosdyn's eyes held an accusatory stare about them. The blue skinned demon was not sure how to proceed, Ziro was already injured. But then, the something occurring within Nosdyn's heart and soul continued.

    Nosdyn understood what it was he was feeling.

    The doubt and anxiety he'd felt soon turned to rage and an amplified one at that. Nosdyn cracked both sets of his knuckles and proceeded to stalk towards Ziro. "Don't take this personal, bug." Nosdyn said in a low voice as he proceeded to attack.

    Instead of cutting the creature down to bits with his mighty weapon, he was about to beat the shit out of the bug. Nosdyn reached back with his left arm and swung it forward with all the might he could muster. At the same time, he simply let go of any semblance of sanity that was locking him to his current state. He allowed his full rage, which was potent, to activate. His body seemed to have a red glow about it as he activated his rage to it's fullest capacity. Nosdyn timed the seconds down to see if the damned bug would take the second hit as well. If his second hit would connect, Nosdyn would proceed to hit the bug over and over. But that's only if the bug truly did not intend to fight. If that was the case, Nosdyn would beat the shit out of it. Nosdyn growled with anger as he swung his mighty fist right at the bug's head. He intended to make every precious strike count. This was the first time he'd fought an opponent who could be hit and he was going to take full fucking advantage of that.

    No mercy would be shown.
    Fear. Fear is my weapon.
    Fear, anger, cruelty, these I bestow upon you. My chosen Death Knight.-Arthas
    ~Nosdyn Krotar~
    ~Scary Mask~

  3. #13
    Member
    EXP: 5,386, Level: 3
    Level completed: 10%, EXP required for next level: 3,614
    Level completed: 10%,
    EXP required for next level: 3,614
    GP
    1,531
    K-Zu-Ziro's Avatar

    Name
    K-Zu-Ziro
    Race
    Insectoid
    Gender
    Genderless
    Eye Color
    Reflective, black
    Job
    First Scout of the Hostoland Empire

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    Digsy and Drik crawled through the black bowels of K-Zu-Ziro's telepathic birdcage. Wailing a fearful chorus, they were lost to a lonesome nightmare. Together, they wandered the woods, far from home. A fading light forced them forward, deeper into the distant forest. The setting sun's dying glow pulled them up a set of creaking steps and through the open door of a forgotten home. Within they found decades of decay, lost time's smile was a hillbilly's grin, smug and toothless. Pleasure and laughter reigned over the ghosts of a terminal bloodline, a million years to die at a dead-end. The dead sons and daughters were buried in the back, still wearing their necklaces and shoes, proud and pretty. Above Digsy and Drik, the roof's beams were rotten and collapsing, below them they felt melancholy's loss beckoning them to the grave.

    Nosdyn's fear had rattled Ziro's companions into a maddening terror. Digsy was screaming out desperate tears, in the real world, while dreaming in the nightmare. Mux Drik, for the first time since his murder, was no longer completely confined by Ziro's dominating telepathy. Unfortunately for him, he had fallen to Nosdyn's night terror instead. Ziro felt them lose control and immediately abandoned them, the arthropod had no time to deal with their mammalian weakness. If the bug were gifted with a genuine empathy then their plight might have concerned him. The fear aura, though powerful, had a negligible impact on the less emotional thought process of Ziro, an insectoid.

    K-Zu-Ziro's bemusement at Krotar's decision to deactivate his weapon was short-lived. This was an opportunity to address the imbalanced scales. While Nosdyn wound up his left swing Ziro strained its rapidly weakening muscles to deliberately position the jagged stump and its stabbing edges directly in the path of the mighty punch. For the second swing Ziro repeated the same defence, aiming to skewer the shit out of the raging demon. While taking measures to protect itself with its left arm, K-Zu-Ziro used its remaining right sided pincer to snap quickly and repeatedly at Nosdyn's crotch.

    It was then that the last two charges on the dam exploded, rendering the remnants of the majestic elven structure into a rushing mix of broken concrete, granite blocks and surging water. A final torrent emptied into the already swollen waterway below. Moments separated the wave and the fighters downstream.

  4. #14
    Member
    EXP: 1,680, Level: 1
    Level completed: 84%, EXP required for next level: 320
    Level completed: 84%,
    EXP required for next level: 320
    GP
    445
    Arch_Nemsis's Avatar

    Name
    Nosdyn Krotar
    Age
    N/A
    Race
    Demon of Haidia
    Gender
    ~M
    Hair Color
    Black
    Eye Color
    Gold/Yellow
    Job
    Bad Ass

    View Profile
    Nosdyn felt the block more than anything else.

    Then he felt something else, a futile attempt at his manhood.

    Normally, the surface dwellers were very prideful of their manhood and reproductive organs. But Nosdyn knew how The Citadel's laws operated he felt the intense pain when the pincers clutched at his sensitive genitalia but he did not cower or wince away in agony and pain. He did not go down quietly into the night. No. Instead, Nosdyn did the unthinkable. Nosdyn allowed the pain he currently was experiencing to bring him to such a euphoric state of mind, a psychotic state of mind, that the demon smiled. More importantly, he looked the bud right in the eyes and carefully sized up the creature as the pain in between his legs swelled and reached up Nosdyn's spinal column. Nosdyn felt something squish in between his legs, but he did not care. He simply allowed the agony of euphoria to fuel his battle rage.

    And fuel him did it ever.

    Nosdyn's face twisted to such a psychotic state of being, that it was almost terrifying to look at. He did now know the nature of the bug's race fear receptors. He did not care. The only thing he did care about at that moment was to harm the creature in such a complete way, that it would think twice before ever returning to The Citadel's halls. It was then, that Nosdyn clenched his same fist tightly, the one that the creature had foolishly blocked with his arm. Nosdyn had knowledge of close-combat range, and he would take advantage of it even as he accessed his battle rage ability.

    Fueled by the pain he felt, the rage he was so complete that Nosdyn felt every fiber of his being swell in hatred. He wore his face, a mask, as a bloody and crimson stained monster from a childe's nightmare. Even as he realized what he was doing, he willfully did it anyway. He aimed the attack at a higher state. He intended to kill with his very hands. He pulled his hands slowly, feeling the weight of every muscle in his arm, no, every muscle in his very being, tighten. The demon's intent was masked only by the pure hatred that burned in his eyes. And so, with every amount of strength he could muster, which at that state he was in was considerable, Nosdyn struck.

    He aimed for the side of the bug's head and he would be certain to repay the favour for the creature even daring to assault the demon's manhood. Nosdyn yelled with a fury the entire time, and then as the sound pierced the very air, he began to laugh uncontrollably. At his opponent, at The Citadel, at the very essence of life itself. It suddenly all made so much sense that it made the demon feel a strong sense of purpose. Hell's fury was channeled through the demon's veins as he swung his mighty fist at his opponent's head. There would be time for regret later.
    Fear. Fear is my weapon.
    Fear, anger, cruelty, these I bestow upon you. My chosen Death Knight.-Arthas
    ~Nosdyn Krotar~
    ~Scary Mask~

  5. #15
    Member
    EXP: 5,386, Level: 3
    Level completed: 10%, EXP required for next level: 3,614
    Level completed: 10%,
    EXP required for next level: 3,614
    GP
    1,531
    K-Zu-Ziro's Avatar

    Name
    K-Zu-Ziro
    Race
    Insectoid
    Gender
    Genderless
    Eye Color
    Reflective, black
    Job
    First Scout of the Hostoland Empire

    View Profile
    The churning fray fractured Ziro's skeleton in the wash from the dam to the river bank, it was a handicap from the beginning. Next, the loss of a vital pincer to the surreal slash of a purple energy sword compounded the insect's calamitous ordeal. Digsy and Drik fell, devoid of defiance, to Nosdyn's radiating insanity. K-Zu-Ziro, unfamiliar with consistent misfortune, observed as the attempted block of Nosdyn's attack using its broken limb to cut into the demon's swings proved trivial. Ultimately, K-Zu-Ziro's final defeat came when, with utter desperation, the rabid mutilation of its opponent's genitalia only made said opponent more powerful. In the time taken by those events, the fluid inside the insect's body had become so low that movement became impossible.

    Hell's infamous fury struck K-Zu-Ziro in the right eye, blackening half the world. The skull around the eye faltered, lines spread across the creature's entire head like cracks in a hard boiled egg. Then the rest of the world darkened. Digsy's distress had whimpered into relentless tears, he was still in the house in the woods. Mux Drik was still in that house. The insectoid, mentally stout and initially resistant to the nerve-racking assault, was to join them. Defeat sent K-Zu-Ziro to hell.

    “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, help me mother, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no don't, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, are you listening to me, can you help me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, mama, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, god no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I want my mama, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, why did I wander for days to end up here, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop it, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, mama, no, no, no, no, no, no, why me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't understand, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't touch me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, how could this happen to me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please take me home, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no please, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, mama, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, help me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, help me mother, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, why, no, no, no, no, no, no, no don't, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, god no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I want my mama, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, how could this happen to me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, mama, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please take me home, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, help me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no please, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, help me mother, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, why, no, no, no, no, no, no, no don't, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, mama, no, no, god no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I want my mama, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, no, no, no, no, why did I wander for days to end up here, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop it, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't understand, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's so dark, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, mama, mama, mama, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, why doesn't anybody help me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't touch me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, how could this happen to me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please take me home, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, no, no, no, no, why did I wander for days to end up here, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop it, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't understand, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't touch me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, how could this happen to me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's so cold, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please take me home, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Ziro, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, help me mother, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no don't, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, mama, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm shivering, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, god no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I want my mama, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, why did I wander for days to end up here, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop it, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Mux, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, why me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't understand, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't touch me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, how could this happen to me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please take me home, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no please, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, help me mother, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, why, no, no, no, no, no, no, no don't, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, my feet are wet and cold, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, god no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I want my mama, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, how could this happen to me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please take me home, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no please, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, mama, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, how can I be here, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, help me mother, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, why, no, no, no, no, no, no, no don't, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, god no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I want my mama, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, no, no, no, no, why did I wander for days to end up here, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop it, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what is happening, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't understand, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't touch me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, how could this happen to me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please take me home, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, no, no, no, no, why did I wander for days to end up here, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop it, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, why, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, mama, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't understand, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't touch me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, how could this happen to me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please take me home, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.”

    Ziro left the real world and entered theirs as an apparition, watching the rotten room from the height of the opposite corner. Digsy's horrific chant carried a sense of eternity, before and after it. Mux Drik, once again in his own body, stood next to Digsy. The last time K-Zu-Ziro had seen Mux Drik's body was during its dismemberment. The pair faced into the corner together. Drik, unlike his ratty comrade, was empty and sedate. Unfortunately, the insectoid was not capable of sentimentality, but it was burdened with a sense of devotion to its social group. An irresistible desire to assist them overcame Ziro. In making that decision, the mind of K-Zu-Ziro remade its own body in the nightmare. Its health in the dreamland was not connected to its lack thereof in the real world. Ziro landed on the creaking boards beneath. “Ziro,” Digsy broke his forever chant and came into the moment, “don't come here, stay back, you can't help us. It has us, we're here and we'll always be here. Go down the stairs and into the woods, get lost in the woods. This isn't safe, this isn't a home, it's not a home.” K-Zu-Ziro became cautious hearing Digsy's advice, the Hostian child's words were pitifully sincere.

    At first it was a puzzle; why were Digsy and Drik standing in the corner when nothing was holding them there? But as K-Zu-Ziro crept through the dream the thing they were afraid of became a reality for the dying insect, as it was for his companions. The beast in the nightmare was shreds of dresses and shirts, trousers and skirts. A belt strangled the thing's neck, and hair pulled from the dead was stuck to its head. Its feet were brooms and mops, a hundred thousand floors had been swept and washed for nothing. The tattered fabric fluttered with whispers, the demon's nightmare was nattering at Digsy and Drik. It was retelling the house's tragedy. A floorboard snapped under K-Zu-Ziro's foot, the giant bug readjusted and reared back, knowing it would draw the nightmare's attention. When it turned around, a face presented itself: five slouching eye sockets moved in circles around each other, a broken nose pointed sideways, a little mouth strained to make itself heard and these features were all pushed much too deep into a bed of water-logged soil.

    Having been spotted, K-Zu-Ziro did not need to sneak any more. Two bounding leaps closed the distance between the insect and the ghost. “They raped me and burned me in the fireplace,” the ghost said staring at Ziro's bug eyes, but the insectoid had no inherent sympathy for such a conundrum. Ignoring the misery of its phantom tormentor, Ziro snapped at the whirling clothes and broomstick shafts with merciless tenacity. When cut, the threads splattered septic puss over cobwebbed trinkets still standing on an old dresser. When cut, the wooden handles clattered to the floor in a pool of their own piss and shit. No legs to stand on, no body to depend on, the ghost was just an odious head. K-Zu-Ziro ended the horror show by opening a puss stained claw and snapping it closed through the head. Then, like the real world before it, Nosdyn's nightmare regressed from shadows to void.

    Reality continued regardless of Ziro and co's perception of it. The final detonation of the remaining explosives atop Curratore Dam, and the success of the Tusqualun Separatist Union, unleashed the reservoir's remaining capacity. It formed a second wave of torrential rock and concrete. Ziro's lifeless body was washed from the granite slab and sucked into the churning carnage. The victorious Nosdyn Krotar and the ineffectual K-Zu-Ziro were separated by fate. Alerar's capital, Ettermire, was also subject to fate's whimsy; two gigantic waves were heading downstream and towards the city.

    ~

    Sister Aug Lea phased into High Lord Mis-Co's plantation home.

    “Ah, the monk...” Mis-Co said in lieu of a genuine greeting.

    “Ettermire will be destroyed.” the monk said with impious satisfaction.

    “Ah, delightful!” after a pause Mis-Co continued, “Do you think either of the candidates would be useful allies going forward?”

    “I don't think we could control or count on either of them. The demon came out on top though.”

    “The positions in the new government will have to be filled elsewhere, I suppose. We should track their development going forward, they do have potential.”

    “They do, but...”

    High Lord Mis-Co grunted with disapproval, “But?”

    “I don't want to risk going back there to heal them, I don't want to get caught!”

    ~

    Resplendence in the shape of an eagle the size of a horse blocked the sun. Its lashing feathers bent nature's intent to become fire and fury instead of dull and brown. The godly raptor swooped down and along the dam's wondrous cascade. K-Zu-Ziro, with Digsy still strapped in, sloshed in and out of the second wave of water. The eagle soared along the burgeoning waterway's length, until it came across the insectoid's still carcass. Upon spotting Digsy and his companion, the bird plunged into the frothy mix with pointed dynamism. Ai'brone plasma melted the bird's feathers and reformed them into the shimmering scales of a gigantic salmon, its lungs pushed outwards and became gills, wings to fins and a beak transformed into a gulping mouth. With its tail thrashing through the current, the thrashing fish chased down Ziro's errant remnants. After closing the distance, the fish widened its jaws beyond the fantasy of any sea shanty and swallowed its target whole.

    Once K-Zu-Ziro, Digsy and the bodiless mind of Mux Drik were snug with digestive juices, the fish charged ahead of the second wave. Its speedy rush soon brought the supernatural salmon to the original wave of overflowing dam water, and again, it overtook the danger. With the dual floods threatening Ettermire, the salmon simply buried its head in the river's sandy substrate and recited a prayer with bubbling earnest. A second transformation occurred. Every time the salmon pushed water and silt through its gills, it doubled its size. The salmon flapped slowly once it was so big its head and tail were out of the river; it was four hundred feet long and blocking the river completely. No matter how big the mysterious magician grew, it was no way to prevent the impending disaster. A final phase to complete the transformation was necessary. The soft rays of the fish's fins hardened into solid bone and grew digging claws at each end, while the tail grew in length and was thick at its base but tapered to a tip, whiskers sprouted from its nose and finally its shell of fishy scales flaked away to reveal a slick coat of waterproof fur. The eagle had become a salmon, and the salmon had become a river otter. Its kindly mammalian eyes checked upstream to see the torrent approaching and with no time to waste it pawed away at the earth in an attempt to add the capacity in depth and width required to accommodate the incoming excess. Curratore Dam's first flood ploughed into the otter's patch and poured left and right into the freshly improvised breadth. Through the power of the Ai'brone's kindly devotion, a virtually bottomless plunge pool accommodated the second flood. Ettermire was saved by a magical eagle-salmon-otter.

    ~

    Digsy woke up first. An overzealous healing monk was eyeballing him. “You're a delight, aren't you?” she said while being upstaged by the adorable pattern of freckles on her cheeks. “I've heard of Hostians before of course I have, but dear me, you are sooooooooo cute!” she tumbled into infatuation, patting him on the head. Digsy's nose twitched awkwardly. After coming to terms with the pretty peppered face, Digsy took aboard the details of the sandstone room he was in. “Must be the Citadel,” he thought to himself. “Well, aren't you going to say anything?” the monk pestered him. Digsy looked around and spotted K-Zu-Ziro's shattered shell spread across a stone table, it looked more like an alter. “I washed all the otter's stomach acid out of your fur and sucked all that water out of your little lungs and you can't even thank me?” she giggled between her words. Digsy's eyes turned glassy. “Oh...” the healer realised. “Are you going to save my friend?” finally, Digsy spoke. The girl's smile came through a closed mouth. Then she span four thousand, six hundred and eighty degrees in thirteen seconds. Her robes twisted into a fragrant mist of lavender and her human body fluttered into the form of a hummingbird. “IT WAS YOU! YOU CAUGHT US!” Digsy's realisation stunned him. This being's supreme power was intoxicating; and now coming face to face with her meadow breeze whimsy, he was victim to the innocence of puppy love. Ziro's mortal injuries were immediately obvious: fractured skull, missing pincer, broken abdomen. Ai'brone's foremost shapeshifter dusted the corpse with glitter. A claw grew from the unsightly stump, the holes in the insectoid's flank and skull were filled quickly. The girl's freckles returned when she took on her robed human form again. K-Zu-Ziro was still motionless, Digsy was visibly concerned. “One last thing,” the girl was fresh faced with freckles again, “I need to find...” she started fumbling through a collection of conical flasks. “Ah!” she said grabbing a small container with yellow goop inside, “this is the stuff. But… we don't have enough! Digsy, there's a bucket over there. Bring it to me!” she pointed. The lovesick rodent scooted off the edge of the operating table and scampered to where she pointed, his little body disappeared behind the bucket and from behind he pushed it with all his might. Once the bucket was at the monk's feet she began to pour the little flask of liquid into the much larger bucket. It poured way beyond its capacity. Creased with curiosity, Digsy's brow displayed his wonder, “how are you doing that?” he begged of her. She winked. A moment later the bucket was full. She grabbed a hose from a hook on the wall, stuck one end in the bucket and then sucked on the other end to create a siphon. Before the yellow liquid came out the other end she popped open a hole in K-Zu-Ziro's exoskeleton with the tip of a finger and fed the tube into the creature's body. “Almost done!” she tapped her foot and counted on her hands. “Okay, all done!” she proclaimed pulling the hose loose and healing the hole with a stern stare. K-Zu-Ziro sat upright.

    “We'd like to debrief the three of you on this breach of Ai'brone authority, after that you're all free to go.”

    “Does this mean we're not getting a job with the Aleraran government?” whined Digsy.

    (ooc: this is gonna be my last post before we send it off to get judged. wanted to say big ty for doing this with me. i know you've been busy and stuff so I appreciate it! it's been mad decent fun.)

  6. #16
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    (Some minor bunnying if that's okay with ya mate)

    ***

    "Get off me." Nosdyn said coldly.

    He removed the knocked out bug from his body making to carefully remove the now tightened pincers that were grabbing his reproductive organs with a strong death-like vice.

    It took a bit of time, but he'd actually gotten the process done and did not care to look at the amount of damage that the bug had actually gotten done. Nosdyn was in pain, but the pain was still charging his anger, and he was in near hysterics. The first of the monks to arrive in the chamber got knocked out by a sucker punch from Nosdyn. The monk foolishly attempted to touch the demon in his currently psychotic state. Several more monks arrived, at that point, Nosdyn could not discern between ally and enemy. He howled in a battle frenzy. Foaming at the mouth, he began to swing at anything that came his way. His body appeared massive, as every muscle in his physique was tightened by his battle-rage. Nosdyn's paranoid eyes darted back and forth until finally, there was a loud shout from one of the monk leaders. A sudden shockwave of energy pulsed through the air.

    Nosdyn felt a paralysis radiate through his physical shell and try as he might, he could no longer move against the monks of the orders. Though in his eyes, all he saw was the bloodied figures of an enemy. Several monks converged on him at that point, and proceeded to weave their accursed powers on him. Soon...

    ***

    Once Nosdyn came to, he realized what had happened.

    He awoke in the Medical ward of The Citadel, his injuries fully treated...he wasn't certain how much time had passed.

    Nosdyn sat up as he came to, his heart still beating irregularly from his heightened state of psychosis.

    He heard several people talking in the chamber.

    "He's awake." Said a gruff male healer. "What do we do with him?"

    "He took down some of the bombers by himself...that deserves merit." A second voice said.

    Nosdyn turned to look at a bunch of unfamiliar monks.

    He didn't say a word just yet he merely listened.

    "He's a liability, he injured several after the event was over." The first monk said.

    "The event was not his fault. Need I remind you that the monks who organized the battle were doing so against our orders. Both participants suffered massive injuries." The second monk added.

    They were all looking at Nosdyn.

    "You represent the last remnants of a dying age." The first monk, clearly the leader, said. "There will come a time when Althanas has need of your skill, warrior."

    Nosdyn felt confused. "I don't quite follow. Aren't I in trouble or something?" The demon asked.

    "No. Quite the contrary, you will be decorated for your heroism in the previous events. Furthermore, we are going to train you to control that temper of yours." The monk said with a serious expression on his face.

    "...The black blood burns hot within me. But I understand why you are doing this, you don't want to have anymore of your kin hurt. Do you expect an apology from me? I do not give apologies." Nosdyn said sincerely.

    "Regardless of the reasons why, it has been deemed that you are an asset. Your kind is normally quite hostile...we get that. But there is a different quality about you. You represent the best hope for us all." The monk explained. "There is other reasons behind this all, but I am not yet at liberty to reveal them. But know this, Nosdyn Krotar, we will train you to become an asset. What you do with the lessons that we have to offer will be entirely up to you." The monk said.

    Nosdyn nodded. "All right. I think I follow where you're coming from. Just be aware...I won't work for free." Nosdyn stated. "I expect to be well paid."

    "Understood." The monk said carefully. "We will arrange a salary for you and other accommodations. In the mean time, Nosdyn, rest. You have earned it." The monk said carefully.

    "What about the bug?" Nosdyn asked carefully. "How is he doing after the battle ended?" Nosdyn had to know.

    "Your friend is doing well. Hopefully your paths cross again soon on more amicable terms." The monk said.

    Nosdyn nodded. "I don't think I can go back to sleep at this point, I have no idea how long I have been asleep. Though I am pretty hungry..." Nosdyn explained

    The monk nodded as he looked at Nosdyn. "Very well, I will arrange for a hot meal for you. And I will talk to you further as time passes, once you have recovered your strength; we will begin your full training." The monk explained and then summoned another monk to prepare a nice hot meal for Nosdyn.

    And so it all began.
    Fear. Fear is my weapon.
    Fear, anger, cruelty, these I bestow upon you. My chosen Death Knight.-Arthas
    ~Nosdyn Krotar~
    ~Scary Mask~

  7. #17
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    Shinsou Vaan Osiris's Avatar

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    Thread: Curratore Dam
    Participants: K-Zu-Ziro / Arch_Nemsis
    Judgement type: Full Rubric

    Judge's note:

    I apologise for the delay in posting this!

    Commentary

    Plot

    Story

    K-Zu-Ziro - 6
    Arch_Nemsis - 6

    The way you both wrote the story ensured the reader wanted to continue reading until the very end. The length of the story as a whole was just right, although the general feeling was that the story transitioned into the battle a bit too early. The reader would probably want to read more about the Tusqualun Elves and their agenda before the battle started. K-Zu-Ziro and Nosdyn’s separate agendas, and how they opposed their brief from Sister Aug Lee, re-enforced the dam section of the story and made this particular section more enjoyable to read.

    There were good moments of actual tension (Nosdyn being knocked off the cliff in post four and the continuation of that in post six, as well as K-Zu’s bombing of the lower levels of the dam), and Ettermire’s rescue at the hands of the Eagle-Salmon-Otter was very well written, and served as a strange and unique twist to the story.

    A final point to note was that there seemed to be a small contradiction in the plot – Sister Aug Lee’s initial intentions were to save the dam (Post one: “Your objective will be, of course, to prevent the destruction of this dam”) and yet in post fifteen it is implied that she is, in fact, in favour of its destruction (“Ettermire will be destroyed.” the monk said with impious satisfaction”). It may well be that this was an intentional faux pas, but if so I’m afraid it was not communicated clearly enough for the reader to pick up on.

    Setting

    K-Zu-Ziro - 7
    Arch_Nemsis - 5

    There were varying strengths and weaknesses evident in the setting of the thread. A highlight of this particular catagory was that the consistency was actually quite good between you both. The consistancy of the setting was always clear enough to ensure the reader never found themselves, at any one time, feeling that both characters were describing different places.

    In post one, K-Zu-Ziro sets the thread up very nicely with an opening scene in a basement in which the Tusqualan Elves are readying themselves for their assault. Then, quite suddenly, the reader is whisked to the dam itself. More transition between these two settings in paragraphs one, two and three were required on this occasion to tighten up the opening post and ensure that the reader could follow every movement and every change in scene. These are the paragraphs where the reader’s attention is first grabbed, and it is important to be especially consistent in these opening areas.

    K-Zu-Ziro is responsible for some high-quality description of setting later in the story (Post five“ K-Zu-Ziro stalked the gangway with a spindly gait, making its way to the lip of the dam. Peering over the gushing gate of the centre arch, the Hostoland trio saw it was open to regulate the reservoir levels. Rainbows flourished in the splashing spray of the falls. While Mux could appreciate the juxtaposition of an artificial Elven structure versus the organic magic of a rainbow, K-Zu-Ziro could not. Unfased by the spectrum's colour and the roaring cascade, the creature hopped onto the pink stonework ridge and stared down.”) and keeps the quality high throughout the rest of the thread.

    Arch_Nemsis was weaker in this area and whilst there were some promising examples of setting in post six (“He could see the afternoon sky as he broke through the surface of the wave of water. Fighting with everything he could muster, Nosdyn swam against the current, he coughed the entire time.”), at times throughout the thread the reader would struggle to follow his movements, as well as visualise the surrounding area. The advice here is to work on bringing the world around you to life and bring in some techniques, such as the use of similes, to really aid the reader in painting a picture of the world around you.

    Pacing

    K-Zu-Ziro - 5
    Arch_Nemsis - 5

    The pacing of this thread began very well, starting from the insertion of the participants onto the dam up until the actual destruction of the lower levels. The feeling was that the pace and tone of the thread suffered once Nosdyn challenged K-Zu-Ziro to a battle, as everything seemed to grind to a halt in order to accommodate the fight, but the pace then picked up again and carried itself through to the end. Advice here would relate to making sure that the timing and placement of the battle in such a story is right - such a sudden change of scenario can disrupt a thread's pacing quite a bit without the correct build up of tension.

    Character

    Communication

    K-Zu-Ziro - 7
    Arch_Nemsis - 6

    This was a strong, solid area for both characters.

    K-Zu-Ziro’s cold, bug-like personality came through brilliantly. The reader was left in no doubt that K-Zu himself was an almost mechanical being that only cared about succeeding in his own agenda in post five (“Saving the dam and our success are unrelated.” Ziro's mechanical mind clarified the situation.) and yet his two companions, Mux Driks and Digsy, were written to compliment that cold side with a believable human touch. There were three distinct personalities rolled into one character, and all three shone as one. One area for improvement might be the use of further dialogue and inner thoughts, simply to expand on an already solid area.

    Nosdyn’s character was written very well. The reader could pick up on his sense of pride at being a Demon, and his drive for honour (and the honouring of the Demon code). He also shows a very obvious affinity for his own kind (“"Krotar...I recall your clan. Filthy, salvage beasts. Your patron is one of the smaller Overlords if I'm not mistaken?" The operative suddenly said. "Do not speak of my family..." Nosdyn said. His desire to kill was growing with every passing moment. "You would do well to bite your tongue."). Improvement in this area would be to bring in more of Nosdyn’s inner workings and give the reader more of an insight into his raging personality. We know he is a Demon, but the reader would like a little bit of insight as to why he is the way he is.

    Action

    K-Zu-Ziro - 6
    Arch_Nemsis - 6

    The writing is solid in this category. The general feeling the reader would have about this piece was that most of the character actions in this thread seemed to be aligned with their differing personalities.

    K-Zu-Ziro’s actions were mostly all designed with a specific purpose in mind. He was mechanical, thorough and single-minded when it came to executing his plans and this suited his bug-like personality. A weakened Alerar was what he desired, and mixing this goal with the destruction of the separatists below him in post five ensured no loose ends (“Of coooouuuurse,” it clicked with Mux, “if the dam blows then Alerar's capital city will be weakened and we win, if we save the dam and get close to their government then we win.”).

    Nosdyn’s actions were also, more or less, in line with his character’s persona. Most of his movements and decisions were based around his lust for blood as a Demon, his anger and rage and his desire for honour and for the most part were good. He naturally wants to fight, so nothing seemed to out of place when it came down to the action.

    Persona

    K-Zu-Ziro - 7
    Arch_Nemsis - 6

    Again, this was fairly solid. Both K-Zu-Ziro and Nosdyn show their personalities well in this thread. There were, however, small weaknesses that could be noticed here. In post two (“His eyes, his eyes told all...they were full of hate”) the reader would want perhaps a subtle clue as to why Nosdyn is seething with hatred, without having to allude to his whole backstory. There were a few occasions where these sort of sentences cropped up, yet no explanation or insight was given as to why he is feeling this way. To improve this, try to give a brief explanation of the situation. Perhaps he has been slighted? Perhaps he is looking for revenge? Emotions, and dealing with them, play a huge part in character building.

    Prose

    Mechanics

    K-Zu-Ziro - 6
    Arch_Nemsis - 6

    Spelling in this thread was very solid, and for the most part sentence structure was correct with the exception of a little bit of sentence fragmentation. Paragraphing was utilised effectively and with varied lengths for effect. However, there is a big flaw in one section of the thread that simply cannot be overlooked.

    K-Zu-Ziro – in post fifteen, there is a block of dialogue that repeats the words “no, no, no” for a good portion of the page. Not only does it look awfully out of place amongst what would be described as otherwise good, solid writing, but it broke up the pacing of the thread horribly and ruined the presentation of that post. In future, the recommendation would be to replace that dialogue with: “no, no, no, repeated over and over endlessly” or a similar mechanic to preserve the integrity of the piece.

    Clarity

    K-Zu-Ziro - 6
    Arch_Nemsis - 7

    There was very little in this thread that wasn’t clear, but a re-read was required of the first post for two reasons already mentioned – firstly, the lack of transition between settings in the opening paragraphs, making it difficult to pinpoint who was where, and secondly to confirm Sister Aug Lee’s actual intentions (which seem to conflict with the paragraph near the end in post fifteen). Again, a way to improve both this and the setting would be to ensure that you follow through on all transitions to new locations, just to ensure the reader has the best visualisation possible.

    K-Zu-Ziro - One problem in this area is that the sheer volume of description and similes you use to describe an action or a place can sometimes effect the clarity of the writing. The descriptions were so complex and long winded that it actually took another read through to understand what had actually happened. To improve this area, simplify the descriptions and remove redundancies (“Unseen forces converged within the notion of each edge; the simplicity of every polygon silenced the psionicist's mind. The utter absence of chaos provided a level of placidity necessary to transmute matter and energy.” Could be simplified to “Unseen forces converged within the discs; the simplicity of every polygon silenced the psionicist's mind. The silence provided her with a level of focus necessary to transmute matter and energy.”).

    Technique

    K-Zu-Ziro - 7
    Arch_Nemsis - 5

    K-Zu-Ziro, overall you write extremely descriptively and are clearly adept at it. There were some excellent uses of imagery and similie (post 3 - "Beads of conjured glue bubbled and blistered under the sun's unyielding blaze. Without adhesive, the cell's hexagons and pentagons began to fall away, fading back into the air particles from which they were generated") and, points on clarity aside, the writing helped the reader to visualise everything well.

    Nosdyn, you use a good amount of description in your posts and the way you describe the sound of your blade in post two was an excellent (“With the strange and maddening snap-hiss”). You were probably the more clear of the two writers but you also used less description and would benefit from perhaps bringing adjectives mixed with adverbs into your writing, along with more similes and metaphors, just to add a bit of colour to an already solid base.

    Wildcard

    K-Zu-Ziro - 6
    Arch_Nemsis - 6

    The story was good to read and the characters of K-Zu-Ziro and Nosdyn complimented each other nicely. I also really enjoyed Ettermire’s rescue by the Eagle-Trout-Otter. Well done!

    Total scores:

    K-Zu-Ziro - 63
    Arch_Nemsis - 59


    K-Zu-Ziro wins! Congratulations!

    K-Zu-Ziro receives 825 EXP and 100 GP
    Arch_Nemsis received 225 EXP and 95 GP
    Last edited by Shinsou Vaan Osiris; 12-30-15 at 03:14 PM.

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  8. #18
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