I am honored that I was given the opportunity to judge this, as I found each work enjoyable in their own right. It was not an easy judgement, for the most part, so if it seems I’m being a bit nit-picky, it’s because I am.
Ashla, your story was entertaining, and very bittersweet in its domesticness. I did notice a few grammatical errors however, Cabbin, instead of cabin for example. Moreover, you had the father speak to little Ashla, which represents the initiation of daologue which she responds to by crying, and reacting, which means that dialogue took place.
Artifex, I liked how you give vivid, step-by-step moments of your character’s movements. It helped really give me not only a sense of his actions, but how those actions flowed through time. The element involving Morrigan did feel like internal dialogue to me though, like thoughts Leon is having while he practices, and so that was an element against you.
Vendredi your imagery was very vivid, I could feel the fall with your character, but there were some minor gramatical errors, humourless, instead of humorless, for example.
K-Zu-Ziro, your tendency towards provocative and somewhat experimental writing, as the genre is often called, is well represented here, but at times you use words whose meanings either contradict each other, such as “wizard's beady eyes were absolutely elephantine,” one’s eyes can’t be both at the same time, since the two contradict each other. It would have been better if you said something about the deep set character of his hosts eyes made an otherwise elephantine eyes seem smaller, or something of the like.
Ebi, you paint a vid picture with words here, your opening paragraph actually works for a fine summery of Alerar, the only issue I had with this was clarity. The dark elf’s attack on the protagonist came totally out of the blue for me, and after listening to the post mmultiple times, I’m not entirely sure why it happened.
Elite Optic, you really do make this character terrifying, and while the grammatical errors were few, Kings, instead of King’s statue, the only one that really stood out was “The tapping of the it's large feet on the granite floor.”
Philomel, while this work did not have any grammatical errors in it, and even though it did meet all the aspects of the writing prompt, the fact that it was more or less a paraphrasing of a pre-existing work, was a mark against you.
Redford, your conversation between redford, logan, and two strangers was easy to follow; the interplay between Logan and Redford really set the stage for what was to follow, with the second stranger; with redford’s ill humor being both fully expected and in-line with his personality as found in previous works.
Redford first place, Philomel second place.
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