Diary of a Star

[Star Strike]

Dear Deneb,

Sugar tastes false. It leaves a taste in my mouth that does not bring me joy. Vincent gave me a bowl of grass today and I ate it.

I do not feel well. My stomach is turning but I continue to eat the leafy greens. I shall go lie down.

Twinkle Twinkle,
Stella Stern

[Star Strike]

Dear Deneb,

I woke up to find Vincent hovering over me. He looked upset. I do did not understand the reason at first.

Ioder told me I have been resting for several days. My face was really blue but I was uncomfortably warm. For groundlings, having a blue face means one cannot breath or one is too cold. Humans like Vincent have blue blood too but it turns red when exposed to air. Groundlings are really, really, weird.

I feel bad Vincent was worried about me. I want to go huddle under the kitchen sink again but Vincent won't let me. Instead he keeps telling me to drink sugar water. He promises when I get better I can point out all the stars with him. This makes me happy but I do not wish to be happy.

Why should I be when I am a waste of stardust. I do not wish to tell Vincent this for he will never leave me alone then.

Twinkle Twinkle,
Stella Stern

[Star Strike]

Dear Deneb,

I'm all better but I'm avoiding Vincent. He lies, telling me he cares about me.

I over heard him speaking with Leona about Tap and Celestial magics. Are they the same? What if they overlapped? Could they have been combined to make something stronger than either of the two??

These were all questions they discussed. It hurt my head to think they only see me as a research subject. I must avoid Vincent. Perhaps I'll run away tomorrow. Or I would but I have a meeting with Quin, the Five of Cups, tomorrow. He is better counseling than Leona because he understands my kind and is sympathetic. In our meetings there is not barrier of languages.

Quin will not approve but I will prank Vince by hiding his notes in the cook books in the kitchen. Perhaps I should choose recipes with high amounts of sugar or sound really, really, yuck.

Twinkle Twinkle,
Stella Stern

[Star Strike]

Dear Deneb,

I tired probing Vince about what he knows about my kind as I have not told him much. More of he has not asked much. He said he was too busy and would be spending today in a very serious meeting with the Major Arcana.

I used this time to decorate his office with lots and lots of salt, cause he is very salty. Then I removed and redid the binding so that while the book appears to be right side up the pages are upside down. I only got halfway through the history section when Vincent returned. I snuck back out without him suspecting a thing.

Am I not clever?

Twinkle Twinkle,
Stella Stern

[Star Strike]

Dear Deneb,

Vince assumes the pranks are because I feel lonely so he presented me with a hair pin today. It is very nice. I do not know why I am doing the pranks but they are funny.

Twinkle Twinkle,
Stella Stern

[Star Strike]

Dear Deneb,

The sky is falling down. There is something happening over and around the House of Cards and it makes the ceiling shake. I do not like it. I want to go home.

Vincent and Leona assure us it is no big deal and have given an assignment to everyone. That is but me. My job is to be happy and give people hope. I know I use that word in passing but in truth I do not understand what it means.

What is hope? Is it physical, metaphysical, conceptual, temporal? I know of many dances and tales that speak of hope but I cannot understand what is is outside of that.

I will need to research the library for books on the subject. I would ask Vincent to help but he has his minds on other things.

Twinkle Twinkle,
Stella Stern

[Star Strike]

Dear Diary,

Everyone is a "butt".

Twinkle Twinkle,
Stella Stern

[Star Strike]

Dear Deneb,

Leona has given me permission to start doing readings outside of our lessons but no one wants one.

I should not give myself my own readings because I could misinterpret them or inflict my own misfortune. So instead I have been following Vincent quietly throughout the day slightly out of his side. I am not sure if he finds this annoying or amusing but he has been teasing me about it during dinner.

No fun

Twinkle Twinkle,
Stella Stern

[Star Strike]

Dear Deneb,

I have not written in her for a while. My common is a bit better and Leona has taken me shopping many times. She has asked me to come with her to an important meeting of diplomatic importance. Since I appear "exotic" and "rare" I am being brought along as "eye candy" to distract the others from focusing and gaining the Hierarchy a better end of the deal.

Leona said I looked strange because my hair is heavily decorated with pins and brushes and my dress is extra glittery. She says typically she would have had me wear something more revealing but due to my size and fear of being touched my dress is nice, long, and flowing. It sparkles when I move just like I did before. It would move nicely if I could defy this planet's gravity.

While I like helping Leona I disliked people staring at me. I am so plain compared to how I once was. I miss being pretty and sparkly. A shattered mirror of the night sky, I am hideous.

Have to go. Leona wants to discuss the outcome before we return to the House of Cards.

Twinkle Twinkle,
Stella Stern

[Star Strike]

Dear Deneb,

I showed my dress to Vincent and Ioder. They hesitated asking me if the dress was compensation for the fact I no longer sparkle. I left them behind in the library and went to the training room to practice dancing. I miss dancing with my mentor and it was relieving to just move in time to the music in my head.

It's a song no one here would know or how to produce. It's called a Nanoúrisma ti̱s Nýchtas. In summary, it is the combined singing of every star, every galaxy, every being. We sing our heart out, our song echoing back and forth through the universe. To listen and participate in Nanoúrisma ti̱s Nýchtas is something one cannot put words to. But if I were, I would say that by joining in the song, one knows the true meaning of not being alone.

Then Vincent made his presence known by preforming the whistle. I cannot recall if I was actually singing but the sheer embarrassment of dancing when I have had not in a long time was a enough for me to stop and attempt to leave. Vincent chased me down, informing me that I should dance more but I did not respond. I simply looked away. I think he continued to state that he would really appreciate seeing me dance more but I do not know if these are simply lies due to the pranks I have been preforming.

Part of me hopes not.
Part of me just wants him to go away.

Twinkle Twinkle,
Stella