***Spoilers*** Star Wars Episode VII

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

What. A. Film.

Classic Star Wars. We laughed, we cried, we watched Han Solo make the classic mistake of approaching the villian on a walkway without handrails. Foolish error.

We saw Luke on a mountain not saying anything to anyone.

Predictions for Episode VIII?

Rey to be Luke's daughter.
Kylo Ren to start to turn from the Dark Side.

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

Oh, and genuinely did not see Kylo-Ren being Solo's son.

Or Phasma to be useless.

[Karuka]

The characterization was flat, the plot devices were ham-fistedly done, and it was essentially a lesser remake of episode 4.

Awful movie, 2.5/10.

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

The characterization was flat, the plot devices were ham-fistedly done, and it was essentially a lesser remake of episode 4.

Awful movie, 2.5/10.

Did you like Mark Hamill's beard?

[Karuka]

Did you like Mark Hamill's beard?

I am ambivalent to Mark Hamill's beard. I liked Finn's face, Rey's accent, and the adorable little ball droid. That's it. Nothing else.

[Ashla]

It
was
A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!!!!!!!!!

Spoiler:

I loved Han and Leia as an old couple! It was beautiful! And how they showed a freaking stormtrooper turning against his First Order! They're human too! Oh, and Ahsoka still gets the cake as best Star Wars girl, but Ray rocks too!


Whenever someone is angry, I'll ask them if they're going to go Kylo Ren. xD

[Gnarl & Root]

I thought it was very good, it was as I expected the film to be.

Maybe it wasn't that original(re-hashing the death star and replicate battle scene was a shame I think) but it was fun and had some other nice ideas. It would fall short of being a fantastic film, but I get the feeling they wanted to do that to move the story forward for the next film, and get the base idea out of the way.

The main thing I would be upset about was how little it felt like it was based after the war. After watching Ray climb through the ships wreckage, I wanted a bit more of that.

Overall I can't complain too much, an important character died, which was upsetting, but I still enjoyed it and look forward to the next.

[Mordelain]

4/5 out of 10.

I left the film feeling ambivalent and immediately forgot the plot by the time I got home.

[Max Dirks]

Spoiler:

My primary issues are as follows:

1) The fucking shields. Poe had to be tortured by the force to reveal BB2 to Kylo whereas Phasma basically just said fuck it with a blaster to her head. A hard nosed fuck it all Stormtrooper commander gives in at the sight of a Wookie. Ugh, even Brienne of Tarth and Commander Lyme are ashamed. Let's not even consider how ridiculously quick they found her given the base is supposed to be the size of a planet.

2) How Finn just finds Rey running around on the death planet. Need I remind you how the base is supposed to be the size of a planet.

Wouldn't it make much more sense if Finn found Rey randomly (because it'd be funny), and she force persuaded Phasma to put down the shields? Seriously, ugh.

3) How the fuck does Kylo Ren, who's presumably been trained by both Luke Skywalker and Snoke, and who apparently managed to kill hundreds of Padawan's ala Darth Vader get his ass royally handed to him by Rey who's basically a force virgin who didn't even have an Obi-wan Kenobi to make her swing a lightsaber around blinded?

Look I get they were trying to play him off as an amateur as well, which is kind of cool (two amateur jedi's going toe to toe and causing ridiculous amount of havoc because they are uncontrolled would be baller), but this makes no sense. What should have happened is that a pissed off Chewbacca flies the Falcon up and blasts a Kylo Ren who's about to kill Rey, leaving some baller scars for episodes VIII and IX.

4) The chick hero passing of the torch scene. Two characters who don't even know each other hug like old friends. I get that Leia is supposed to know about Han because of the force and Rey was sad (because they poorly set up Han as the father she never had), but the unspoken hug was stupid. Maybe this will make sense later, say if Rey ends up being Rey Skywalker.

5) The pacing of the final battle, the character Poe Dameron, and all that nonsense was stupid. I can't tell you how pissed I was that BB2 didn't decide to stick around with Rey. Now she's stuck w/ R2D2. I don't even want to get into how convenient it is that he woke up. Maybe this will make sense later too if Luke chose to be found at the end of the movie.

Minor fixes and I'd be wet. Now I'm just meh about my childhood favorite movie series.

[Max Dirks]

Spoiler:

Prediction:

Rey is Luke's daughter, who was hidden from the Knights of Ren during the purge. Luke went into hiding not because he was ashamed of failing Ben Solo, but because he was unable to protect his wife, the mother of Rey (maybe they name her Mara Jade as a last fuck you to the now defunct expanded universe). Max von Sydew (really that should be his jedi name), is the man who took Rey to Jakku. Rey and Kylo kiss at some point because what is this series without unintentional incest (first cousins, ew). Snoke is Darth Plageous, or Darth Plageous' clone, who survived Palpatine's attempt to kill him and remained hidden (possibly as a child clone) on Kamino. Kylo saves Rey from Snoke ala Darth Vader. Finn becomes the new Han Solo. His backstory is never really explained, but he becomes the love interest of Rey and they make mocha Jedi babies.