Round 1: Team C

[Cards of Fate]

Herding fifty cats is hard.

Herding fifty cats through a jungle is harder.

Herding fifty cats though a jungle that’s been lit ablaze without being able to communicate with them at all...that was damn near impossible. It had taken all of his time and patience, and every ounce of Viridian's persuasive abilities to get this group moving. The tough terrain seemed like nothing with the threat of fire just behind them. If Phi had stopped it, it wouldn’t be for long. Depending on the barrier, the fire could spread around it, and while it had bought them more time, it certainly wasn’t going to be wasted.

Fifty cat people followed Vince through the jungle, each handling the terrain with as much grace and ease as Philomel, leaving Vince to speculate the nature of their homeland. The largest stood at least seven feet tall, and looked more lion than cat, was right at Vincent’s tail the entire time. He seemed to be the only male amongst the group, the rest were all apparently female; he also seemed to be the only one who could understand Vincent to any degree.

After what felt like ages of running, the small horde broke through the tree line hitting the sand. At the water's edge was a small boat crewed by two of Philomel’s crew members with oars. They each raised an eyebrow as Vincent and his pride approached.

“How on earth are we going to get them all on the Fox?” One of the pirates asked as she glanced over each of them. “We could only take about five in each trip.”

“Take the refugees first.” Vincent commanded as he glanced over the seat. “If we try we can cram ten per trip if we have to. We don’t have time, we need to get the ship loaded as fast as possible.”

“What about you?” The one woman asked, looking at her companion uneasily. “What will you do?” Vincent smiled and gave them a thumbs up.

“I can get on the boat on my own accord. Focus on the refugees.” The lion man stepped forward and patted Vincent on the shoulder. The two locked eyes, and the lion opened his mouth to speak.

“Ikval, na duck.”

The words seemed to strangely alien to the scholar, and then the lion let out a chuckle and added.

“Tha-ank Yooo, mi fffrend.” Vincent’s eyes widened as the lion spoke rough common. With that the lion gestured, having been instructed by their earth spirit friend, and guided several cats onto the boat. Each of them seemed tense, after all the last time they’d boarded a boat was as cattle. The lion man gave each a pat, and with a rush of their strange foreign language he would assure them. Their body language was familiar, as if instinct reflected itself universally in the humanoid form. The first boat full of refugees set off, heading for the feisty fox out in the distance. Vince found himself chewing on his lower lip as visions of fate began to swim in the back of his mind. More sails, flames, chains, the terrified eyes of these forsaken slaves.

He shut his eyes and shook his head a bit.

<Roll call. Where is everyone?>

<I’m in the jungle.> Phi responded. <On my way. I successfully contained the fire, but the other ships are circling around so we need to hurry.>

<I am on the ship with Pester and Harmony.> Mordelian chimed in. <Gideon managed to take down one of the ships with an explosion, but I have no clue where he is.>

<Gideon?> Vincent called out. <Come in.>

The trio was met with silence as the knight failed to respond.

<Gideon!> Vincent exclaimed mentally as he turned back to the other side of the island. His pulse began to climb in speed as he took a step towards the jungle.

<Vincent, you need to guard the refugees!> Philomel added, causing the scholar to grind to a halt. <Besides, by the time you got there it would be too late…>

The scholar gritted his teeth. <He knew what he was doing.> Mordelain added. <I’m sure he can take care of himself.> The scholar took a deep breath and fought off the urge to go sprinting into the jungle once more. He’d yet to ever leave anyone behind ever, and he sure as hell didn’t want to start.

<Fine.> Vincent responded. <The moment these people are safe, I’m coming back.>

With that the scholar turned back to the group and took a deep breath, trying to slow his rushing heart. <Veridian, can you help me start translating their language? We have a lot of work to do before this is all said and done.>

FIN

[Max Dirks]

This was an energetic story, but it did not really expand on the prompt until the end. This is fine, obviously, but it lost you points compared to other groups who delved deeper into the conflict. Moreover, I felt the “check in” type conclusion was abrupt and wrapped up the story too conveniently. The exception to this was the cliffhanger with Knightly. Several groups ended on cliffhangers and this was the only one that left me wanting to read more. Your greatest strengths in this thread were mechanics and pacing. Aside from the setting issue, described below, the thread flowed well. There was a natural buildup of peril as the ships approached and the climax was excellent. There were several spelling and usage errors, and an odd perspective change from Cards, but mechanics were otherwise solid. Your weaknesses included setting and persona. I didn’t find it realistic that there would be a jungle in the middle of the plains of Gisela. I also found it silly that you walked to the encampment, which took several hours, when it was later discovered Mordelain could have simply transported you all through the ether. NPCs were a major problem in this story. You introduced too many of them and tried, in vain, to make them important to the story. In particular, Knightly’s love story was forced and unnecessary. I found it very distracting, though it did provide additional rationale for his sacrifice. Despite Mordelain’s excellent writing, even I became confused as to whom he was referring at several points in the camp. Too many NPCs leads to too many adjectives to describe them, which makes the story incredible difficult to follow. Overall, this was a mediocre tournament thread.

Story- 5 (Not much expansion of the prompt, but acceptable. The conclusion was rushed)
Setting- 4 (Setting was odd for the area)
Pacing- 6 (Except for Mordelain’s teleporting, everything flowed well)
Communication- 6 (Somewhat confusing due to the inclusion of too many NPCs; see action below for comments on the internal communications)
Action- 6
Persona- 4 (Too many NPCs made it difficult to follow the thread)
Mechanics- 6 (Some spelling and usage errors, as well as an odd perspective change from Cards, otherwise fine)
Technique- 5 (Except for the cliffhanger, there were really not really much advanced writing techniques used)
Clarity- 6 (Sometimes it was hard to follow certain actions)
Wildcard- 10 (Prompts met; All players participated and posted timely; no powergaming)

Total- 58/100

Cards of Fate receives PENDING
Philomel receives PENDING
Mordelain receives PENDING
Knightly receives PENDING

Spoils declined.

[Rayleigh]

Cards of Fate receives 773 EXP and 58 GP
Philomel receives 773 EXP and 58 GP
Mordelain receives 618 EXP and 58 GP
Knightly receives 425 EXP and 58 GP

Rewards have been added on 4.0.