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Thread: Sivi's reposted level up she was level 3 when i left now she is level 5 updating

  1. #1
    Member
    EXP: 16,941, Level: 5
    Level completed: 50%, EXP required for next level: 3,059
    Level completed: 50%,
    EXP required for next level: 3,059
    GP
    715
    Nightsangel's Avatar

    Name
    Sivienna Anzu Mizami
    Age
    24 in human years 98 in vampiress years
    Race
    Vampiress
    Gender
    Female
    Hair Color
    Purple with black tinged bangs
    Eye Color
    Light Lavender
    Build
    5'5 height and 122 lbs
    Job
    Exotic Dancer

    Sivi's reposted level up she was level 3 when i left now she is level 5 updating

    Updates newest in pink

    Updates are in purple.

    New updates in green

    Newest updates in white

    Full Name: Sivienna Anzu Mizami

    Race: Vampiress

    Hair Color: Dark Purple, with black-tinged tips

    Eye Color: Light Lavender

    Height: 5’5

    Weight: 124 lbs.

    Age: 22 years old (Human years) 98 years old (Vampiress years)
    23[(Human years) 99 years old (Vampiress years)

    Occupation: Exotic Dancer

    Magic: Darkness/Fire

    Birthplace: Haidia


    Appearance: Sivienna is slim and very curvy, she is 5’5 and she weighs 122 lbs. Her teeth are white and small, white fangs can be seen in them when she smiles. Her nails are longer then the average humans, and she also paints them with a dark purple nail polish. Her lips are blood red and her face is heart-shaped. To accent her slim, curvy figure she wears a slim silver-black bodysuit over her figure, and over this bodysuit she wears a loose flowing light green skirt and black half-boots. Her hair is a dark, bright purple and the tips of it are tinged black. The length of her hair is down to the middle of her back and her normal hairstyle is either, a loose, flowing ponytail or a tight well-kept braid. Her skin is very pale, almost as pale as the moonlight you see at night. There are no flaws or imperfections on her skin.


    Since her travels Sivienna's appearance has altered slightly, she now wears a loose, flowing light blue traveling gown that is made from cotton. She also now wears a simple necklace made out of seashells she found somewhere amongst her traveling. She still does not wear earrings and her hair has slightly grown longer, now it goes down to her lower back and she wears it in a loose, messy ponytail, a well-kept braid or pigtails.

    Since her blue traveling gown was ruined from a bloody battle. The vampiress has finally visited the bazaar and purchased some new clothes. Her new clothes are a simple leather belt etched with a flower design a green cotton dress with flowing see through sleeves and a sifan cloth Olive green cloak that she wears around herself. These are her only new appearance changes during her travels.Furthermore she also now has a midnight blue halter mini skirt set that she keeps in her cloth sack for in case she needs to change clothes.

    New clothing for winter

    Personality: Sivienna is sweet to those she knows and cares for, but she is vicious when angered. She protects and nurtures those close to her as well. Sometimes though she does go after stronger prey, but the charms she uses to seduce her prey are deadly, lust and beauty go hand in hand in her nature when she is seducing prey that is healthy and strong. When she does catch prey she makes their death as quick as possibly because she doesn’t like seeing anything in pain, even though she feeds, she tries to make the suffering of prey minimal.

    Since meeting Varsh, Koriku, Dario, Jasmine and Sylphiel, the vampire now knows what it is like to have true friends and she values friendship more then she used to. She now protects more fiercely those whom she has formed a close bond with and knows she also knows what comradeship truly means. Furthermore, since she has had her first true kiss without lust or passion involved she has begin to question if love actually does exist and if it does can she truly love someone.

    Sivienna still wonders if love truly does exist. Her wonderment of this has not yet been answered so she is still looking for the answer to this question.

    Skills: She is very proficient with an iron broad sword through years of intense training, besides learning how to dance gracefully she also took martial arts and Judo lessons, so she is proficient in hand to hand combat. The iron sword she uses was a gift from her instructor when she graduated with honors from the school she attended. Through her travels she found some old damaged iron armor which she repaired and nows wears to protect herself. Sivienna carries now items on her. She also knows the begin kindling of both Shadow and fire magic, this magic will grow more powerful as Sivienna herself grows more powerful.

    Special trait: Regenerative powers: This is an innate power that Sivienna was born with. Right now it is only able to regenerate small cuts and bruises. However, as she grows older and stronger this regenerative ability will be able to repair much more serious injury then small cuts and bruises.

    [COLOR=""]Now Sivienna's regeneration ability can heal more then a pretty big and slightly deep wound, she can heal a bit more serious wounds now, the same goes for large bruises and heavy bleeding, however her regeneration ability still has more room to grow to heal deathly serious injuries and wounds.[/COLOR]

    Special trait: Bloodlust: Since Sivienna has grown in strength one of the conditions she had when she was younger that she kept in check, has now returned to the surface. When Sivienna smells to much fresh blood, it triggers an intense effect in her mind, body and spirit which causes her to go insane. When she is in this bloodlust she will kill and feed recklessly from whatever human or animal she sees. This affect lasts until the scent of fresh blood has disappeared completely from the air in the area which Sivienna is in.


    Seduction bite: Sivienna uses her skill of dancing to move her hips and body is a hypnotizing seductive rhythm that lulls the victim into a weak trance-like state. While the victim is in this short trance-like state, Sivienna slithers into the shadows and appears in front of the victim taking a small bite in the victim’s neck draining the victim of a tiny portion of energy. (When she grows in level and gets stronger, she’ll be able to steal more energy from the victim she bites. Also as she increases her strength the trance-like state the victim falls in with length in time on how long the victim will be in the trance.)

    Sivienna's seduction bite now has grown a bit more in strength. Now when she bite's into a victim's neck a medium-large amount of energy is taken from the victim. Furthermore, the trance the victim falls into now last 5 and a half minutes, but it will only last that long and it will wear off after the 5 and a half minutes is up. (As she continues to grow this attack will get stronger.)

    Abilities:

    Sivienna's darkness and fire magic has now grown slightly in strength. Instead of knowing only the kindling of both magic she now has mastered the basics of magic and is starting to learn the intermediate teachings of her darkness and fire magic.

    Sivienna’s darkness and fire magic has now grown more powerful. Instead of only knowing the kindling’s and the basics of her magics. She now knows the intermediate teachings of her magic

    Sivienna's darkness and fire magic has grown more powerful now, she has grown from intermediate teachings to more advanced teachings and her magic is a bit more powerful now.


    Darkness Flame: In this attack, Sivienna calls upon the growing energies of her magic and calls forth a weak but glowing purple colored flame. What this attack does is it singes the enemy with a small amount of darkness based flame. Slightly weakening the enemy. (This attack will grow in strength as Sivienna levels up.)

    Now that Sivienna knows more advanced teaching of her magic, her Darkness Flame attack is now slightly much bigger then it was before. It can now scorch and burn the enemy's clothes a bit more away, it will still leave a small amount of tattered rags though. It is now a larger, brighter scorching ball of darkness and purple flames and can now leave larger moderate burns on an opponents skin if it touches the skin. (This attack will grow stronger as Sivienna levels up.)

    Darkness Portal: Now that Sivienna knows the intermediate teachings of her darkness magic. She can create a medium sized portal of darkness energy. This portal can be used to escape an enemies magical attacks or to evade a physical attack. It takes about 2 minutes for Sivienna to chant the spell to create the portal and the portal lasts for about 2 posts in which Sivienna can evade the attack or disappear to another section of the area she is in.

    Now that Sivienna knows the advanced teachings of her darkness magic. She can create a large sized portal of darkness energy. This portal can be used to escape an enemies magical attacks or to evade a physical attack. It takes now a minute and a half for Sivienna to change the spell to create the portal and the portal lasts for about 3 posts in which Sivienna can evade the attack or disappear to another section of the area she is in.

    Darkness fire wolf: Now that Sivienna knows the intermediate teachings of her darkness and fire magic, she can sometimes combine both into a life from that breathes and thinks on its own. It is shaped from her dark purple magic of darkness and its breathe and life is the purple flames that she conjurs from her magic. When the two mix they form the darkness fire wolf. This creature charges at the opponent its dark purple fangs bared and it will slash, bite and burn the opponent. It takes about 5 minutes for Sivienna to call the wolf from its portal and the wolf will remain on the field for one post and it will attack and protect Sivienna from harm by sacrificing itself if Sivienna is in danger. (She’ll be able to conjure more wolves as her strength and power grows.

    Now that Sivienna knows the advanced teachings of her darkness and fire magic, she can more accurately combine both into a life from that breathes and thinks on its own. It is shaped from her dark purple magic of darkness and its breathe and life is the purple flames that she conjurs from her magic. When the two mix they form the darkness fire wolf. This creature charges at the opponent its dark purple fangs bared and it will slash, bite and burn the opponent . It takes about 4 minutes now for Sivienna to call the wolf its portal and the wolf will remain on the field now for 2 posts and it will attack and protect Sivienna from harm by sacrificing itself it Sivienna is in danger. Also now she can conjure two wolves instead of one.(She'll be able to conjur more wolves as her strength and power grows.)

    Shadow Dragon: Since her time in Haidia, Sivienna has discovered that her shadow powers have altered slightly. After drinking the blood of a shadow dragon named Zek'smaugok. Her own shadow powers grew a bit more darker and voile. The way this spell works is Sivienna closes her eyes, conjuring the image of a purple and red scaled dragon. The spell itself takes about 3 minutes to conjure, then the dragon itself takes about 3 minutes to come forth from its black portal. The shadow dragon itself is a very large dragon, with red scaled wings and purple and red scales all covering its body. It attacks with a column of acidic breathe flame that can burn its victims a moderate amount when it attacks. It does have its weaknesses though, if its summoned is struck by a strong enough weapon (Tier 5 or above) Or distracted the dragon will be called back into the shadows from whence it came. Furthermore, if the dragon is blocked by a barrier it won't be able to harm its opponent, and also the dragon can be vanished by striking its weak points, which are its heart, neck and mouth. Also once the dragon uses its acidic breathe attack it'll disappear back into the shadows from whence it was summoned. This ability can only be used twice in quests and twice in battles, but Sivi must rest for a period of 4 posts before being able to use this spell again.

    Shadow Dragon-Now to summon the dragon it takes about 2 and a half minutes for it to be conjured and for the dragon itself to emerge from its portal it now takes 2 and a half minutes. It can now burn its victims for a little bit more then a moderate amount. Its weakness now is Tier 4(If I need to fix this let me know.) Now in order to use the Shadow dragon spell again Sivi has to rest for a period of 3 posts before she can use the spell again.

    Items and Weapons:

    New weapon: Rose etched titanium sword. It is made from titanium and has the design of a rose etched on it made from rubies. She also has a new soft leather sheathe with a flower design carved into it made from gold. (From before althanas crashed as well, can't find the link.)

    Newest weapon-Dragon claws-twin claws made from the bone of a slain dragon, they are bound with simple leather and they slip onto her hands easily.(Can't find thread link this thread was done before althanas crashed and the links were lost.)

    New Items: Darkness Pendent:The pendant increases all her Shadow Magic by one level for 3-1 number of Posts. Can be activated once a quest/battle. (Think this item was from before althanas crashed, so link lost also sorry!)

    Snow Globe- A round glass globe with a picture of the Mizami mansion inside, written on the simple marble base are the words "We'll always have Haidia." this is non-sellable. (I believe this item also came from same link as the dragon bone claws, link was from before althanas crashed, so its lost.)

    History: Sivienna was born in the continent of Haidia on a cold, dark night in a hospital sheltered from light and any means that could harm creatures of the night. Her parents were deeply in love with one another. Her father was a powerful vampire that was an executive at one of the companies nestled in Haidia’s continent, her mother lived at home and didn’t really need to work or anything because Sivienna’s father made enough money to support his family. After Sivienna was born her mother and father took her back to their home and performed a ritual of blessing on their daughter, to bless her with beauty, prosperity and good health.

    A few years passed after Sivienna’s birth and now she is five years old. She is well loved by her vampire parents and is given all the gifts a young vampire child could dream of. Her mother enrolled her in a judo class, dance class, art class as well as school. As her classes continued her parents found out she was a very quick learner in martial arts as well as in dancing. She couldn’t do much yet since she was only five, but she quickly learned the basics of dancing and over time she completed learning the basics of martial arts and Judo. Seven more years go by, and Sivienna is now twelve years old and is taking advanced classes in hip hop, reggae, any form and style of dance you can think of she is now learning. She is like a genius in dancing and is learning each form and style very gracefully and quickly. Her martial arts classes also have continued over the years so now she has earned a black belt in it at a very young age. She is well loved by her family and she hasn’t really made friends, she has acquaintances but not true friends due to her being a vampire.


    Two more years pass and now is where things In Sivienna’s life begin changing, first of all, she meets up with this young handsome vampire male, he seems cool, strong and powerful and he appears very interested in the beauty that Sivienna possesses. For now Sivienna has grown into quite a beauty with her long dark purple with black tinged tip hair, her slender curvy figure and her alluring beauty he asks her if she is looking for work. Sivienna is hesitant at first because of her upbringing, but eventually with some coaxing from the young male vampire she agrees to go to him to a club where he works as a bartender.


    Upon reaching the bar, which is Called Night Angels Heaven, he shows her around. She appears extremely interested and tells the young vampire she will consider his job offer just let her finish her dancing lessons as well as all the other lessons she is currently learning. Another three years pass in Sivienna’s life and now she is sixteen and quite the beauty. She has now completed learning how to dance anyway she would like to and is proficient and has a black belt in Judo and martial arts. Now then she remembers the offer the young vampire male made to her, about the dancing job at Night Angels Heaven club, so she goes to the club to tell him she is extremely interested now in the job. The young male vampire remembers her from three years previous when he scoped her out and saw her beauty, charm and youth and asked her to dance at the club. He tells her that she is hired for an exotic dancing job at the club and then he tells her all about the club. The club serves vampire clientele and other dark night creatures.

    Now a two more years pass and Sivienna has been working at the club as an exotic dancer and as well has been hunting humans for their blood which is of course what she did while young to since she was born to a vampire family. Soon though even though she has a job and is doing well, other trouble arise she soon learns that since she’s been away from home her father left her mother and in a desperate attempt to win her husband back, Sivienna’s mother chased after him and ended up dying in sunlight due to her desperation to find her husband. Saddened by this news Sivienna took a two-year break from the club and is now on a search for her husband as a traveling exotic dancer. She won’t rest until she finds her father and receives answers from him on why he left her mother and what caused this heartbreak and anxiety in her seemingly perfect family.

    Sivienna hadn't done much since she came to Althanas world. She hadn't traveled around the regions much nor seen many battles or quests. However, when she entered the Earshine Tavern., A bustling warm, friendly welcoming place, she didn't know what to expect, the reason she entered was because she was hungry, tired and needed rest from her earlier fight with some vampire slayers who had tried to kill her. Glancing around the tavern upon her entrance she came upon a man called Varsh. After speaking with him for some time she begins to take an interest in him. However, before she could truly get to know him an elven girl called Sylphiel entered the tavern and challenged both Varsh and the vampire to a drinking game.

    After a couple of drinks, the vampire found herself drunk and shortly after that she was pulled to the floor by the green haired man named Varsh. Since she didn't have control over her vampiric instincts she lowered her mouth to Varsh's neck and drank some of his blood. This was her first time in a long time since she fed and she felt bad about it but everything seemed alright between her and Varsh. It appeared that after Sivienna bit Varsh, the young man begin to have a love interest in the young vampire. Sivienna didn't have much experience with love so she found herself unsure as to what she should do next.

    Shortly after Sivienna got to know both Varsh and the elven girl Sylphiel, a few more people entered the quaint, bright cheerful tavern. One was a well-mannered, chivalric red mage by the name of Dario, another was a bright, cheerful handsome lad by the name of Koriku Windgate and the final person to enter the tavern was a girl by the name of Jasmine. Sivienna was surprised that so many young travelers could wind up all in the same small tavern. However, she didn't complain because she begins to like and even make friends with the young people who entered the tavern. Dario she liked because he was so sweet and well-mannered, Koriku she couldn't help but feel attracted to, his boyish good looks, his carefree nature and his crimson eyes all tugged at her heart. Jasmine came into the tavern rather late when everyone was preparing to depart for their separate ways. However, the young girl did stay long enough to get to know Dario, Koriku, Syphiel, Varsh and Sivienna slightly.

    With her attraction to Koriku growing stronger with each moment she was in his company, Sivienna did something impulsive; when she stared into the young lad's eyes she was so entranced, that she planted a kiss on his smooth, young lips. She knew after they had stopped kissing that he was a bit surprised by her kiss, she herself was also surprised. However, neither she nor Koriku had much time to ponder on their kiss as shortly after they kissed the holy knights of the church who were after Koriku, attacked the tavern.

    During the chaos that was the holy knights attack, Sivienna had found that the man Varsh whom she was also attracted to besides Koriku had run off in anger after she and Koriku had kissed. When she went looking for him she found herself trapped by the holy knights and caught in their grip. After the knights attack Sivienna doesn't remember much because during it she got knocked out while Varsh and the others were fighting the holy knights. When she came to she found herself alone in a darkened alley near the tavern. Contemplating her feelings for Varsh and Koriku she is still undecided on both of them. For now though she has left the tavern and is still wandering around Althanas. However, she wishes to remain in contact with the friends she made in the tavern and she still is hunting for her father, a desire born from the betrayal and hurt he caused her dear mother.


    Since her time spent at the tavern, Sivienna has learned much through her travels on Althanas. One day she had come upon a sign that was looking for travelers to escort three mages to a village in the continent of Corone. Letting curiosity get the better of her, Sivi had gone and seeked out Wilfred Waltz and agreed to escort him to Corone. However, many interesting things happened then, a rivalry between her and a knight of the apocalypse named Vladimir Sigma happened. The two argued the whole way they were escorting the Waltz siblings to Corone. Finally, as a test of strength they had a huge all out to the death battle with each other, it was fierce and very deadly, the Eldest Waltz sibling helped Sivienna out but he lost the use to speak because of Vlad crushing his throat. Also during this adventure Sivienna had saved a young kistune whom she dubbed Serenity. The kistune now travels with Sivienna and can help her in battles and quests if she is with the young vampriess.

    *Kitsune’s profile.

    Name: Serenity

    Fur color: Bright soft orange

    Eye color: Chocolate brown

    Weight: 10 lbs.

    Age: 2 years old. (She has extended life.)

    Magic: Blue flames

    Special abilities for Serenity:

    Speech: She has the ability to talk to both humans and animals. She can talk whenever and there is no limit to this ability. She was born with the power to talk to humans and thus is an ideal pet for those willing to have such a mischievous creature as their pet.

    Throw voice: She can mimic anyone’s voice as long as she hears it once. This is used to confused a person or to trick them into thinking that someone else is talking about them. She can only use this ability if shes heard a person’s voice, but once she hear’s that person’s voice she can mimic there voice whenever she wants to.

    Blue Flame: Her whole small body glows a bright blue color and this is the state in wehre she is gathering the flame magic that resides in her body. After she is fully charged she can spew blue flames from her mouth. These aren’t very strong yet only enough to singe someone’s clothes or bare skin. They will grow in strength as the kistune grows in age.(This will level up along with Sivi’s next level up.)

    The strength of Serenity's blue flame has now increased in strength they can now slightly or moderately burn someone's clothes or bare skin. (Her blue flames will grow in strength as Sivi levels up.)

    Super special ability.

    Transform: A large aura of pure blue flame’s surround the kistune’s body and in the midst of the powerful flames the kistune transforms into a much larger size. In this form Sivienna is able to ride her and use her much more applicably in battle. The kistune has no attacks in this form except for the power to float in the air using flames under her paws. She can uses her paws and fangs to bite people but really its more of a steed and battle companion for Sivi when Serenity is in this form. This transformation will last 2 posts and then Serenity will revert back to her smaller kistune form. (She can use transform 2 times in battles and 3 times in quests)

    This transformation spell will now last for 3 posts and she can now transform 3 times in battle and 3 times in quests.

    Personality: Mischievous and sweet. She loves to play pranks on people and see their reactions. However, she is reasonable and will always tell Sivienna to do good, not do wrong. She is adorable and cute and knows how to use this to her advantage. She is a good friend once you get to know her and extremely loyal. She won’t harm or hurt those she is close to though she may play the occasional prank on them.

    Mini history: She followed the escort party from Scara Brae to the Corone docks. Finally having shown herself, she was roughly attacked by Vladmir and saved by Sivienna. Not much else is known about her for she doesn’t talk much about her past. Now she lives and travels with the young vampiress, exploring Althanas under her mistress’s care.*

    Before the journey with the Waltz siblings had begun, she had camped out in a forest where she met a silver haired warrior named Godhand. Intrigued by him she stayed the night with him, only to be attacked by an Ent. Since he was strong , they really didn’t get to know each other well before the paladins of Scara Brae escorted him from the city.

    A few days after this tiresome journey, the vampiress had settled herself down in an old abandoned cabin. The moon was full and the night seemed peaceful. She had gone out for a bit to stretch and relax her muscles, but then something odd happened, a citadel monk came by to meditate near the flowing river that was by the cabin and shortly after that a young elf girl came and asked Sivi for the cabin. Not wanting to give it up a fight ensued one which Sivienna won, but in the process the cabin was destroyed and proved useless as a refuge. So Sivienna left again disappearing into the night.

    After her fight with the elf, Sivienna found herself in the town of Scara Brae, camping out in the forest. There she ran into a merc who had been hired to kill her, for her taking the life of a young noble’s son when she was younger. She managed to defeat the merc with the help of her friend Slyphiel and then had left the merc when it had turned into a baby dragon.

    Shortly after that she found herself in the city of Radasanth, low on money she had applied for a job at a local dancing club, only to be fired 2 days after being hired. Annoyed and miffed she had taken the job to show a young tourist around the city and help him find the Black Market. There he had need to go because he needed to get an unknown object back, she herself wanted to go because there was payment involved and she could acquire something good form the market if the timing was right. From the market she stole a titanium sword that she mistook for steel. The sword has a design of a blooming red rose etched into the hilt and it is compromised of rubies. She also stole a soft leather sheathe with a rose etched into the sheathe made from gold. The young male and her had managed to get away from the Black Market but not before she had fed from him and he had jammed his gun. Now that she has increased her strength she still is traveling Althanas but soon, she may work up the courage to find out where her father is and find the answers she seeks about what happened to her family and why her father left her mother!

    After her escapades in Corone's Black Market, Sivienna soon found herself with a job at a club in the fine city of Radasanth. She needed money to pay the rent in her apartment there. While dancing there she came across a young woman, a woman who intrigued and mystfied her. The woman seemed to have come to drink her troubles away, but the young vampric dancer caught the white haired woman' eye. After a bit of talk and flirting the two ended up in one of the rooms upstairs where a night of love and passion ensued. The next morning the woman named Sarah Dahlios and her parted ways, but the memory of that loving night hasn't left Sivienna's mind.

    Shortly after this passionate encounter, Sivienna made her way to the citadel. The large bright buidling shined in front of her, as she entered she asked the monk who came to her to lead her to an interesting battle. She was led to a futristic like room. It had a blue misty haze to it, and the city was all made of metal, a fountain stood in the center, near it a man by the name of Njin bosche. She fought him and almost won, but men burst into their room they were battling in and intrupted their battle. Protecting her opponent, SIvienna nearly killed one of the futrstic soldiers, but ended up sparing him. After this battle she and Serenity left the citadel, wiser now due to the battle, but still none the less learning about what the citadel had to offer.

    A few weeks later, Sivienna found herself in the cold library of Salvar. Here she met a man by the name of Seth Dahlios and agreed to lead him to the dragon roosts of Haidia. She had her own motives for doing this though, she wanted to try and find out what her father had been doing. She discovered that her father had ran off with another young vampiress, a dancer by the sounds of it. This angered her and caused her to increase the search for her father, though when she and Seth reached Mizami manor, her father's trail had run cold. Defeated, Sivienna dutifully led Seth to the roosts, that is after a night of lust happened in the library of Mizami manor. At the roosts they defeated a powerful adult shadow dragon and then made their way down to the tomb where Kycoo rested. Unleashing the beast into atlhanas realm, the creature sent a curse torwards Sivienna awakening her unborn child. What problems await the vampiress once her child is born? What dangers wait for her, she'll only know after her child is brought into the world.For now she waits, waits and plans for whatever happens next to her.
    Last edited by Nightsangel; 07-27-17 at 03:54 AM.

  2. #2
    Maul-Slayer
    EXP: 172,649, Level: 18
    Level completed: 14%, EXP required for next level: 16,351
    Level completed: 14%,
    EXP required for next level: 16,351
    GP
    16,175
    Breaker's Avatar

    Name
    Joshua Breaker Cronen
    Age
    Ageless (looks 28)
    Race
    Demigod (human)
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Light Brown
    Eye Color
    Hazel
    Build
    6 feet / 202 lbs.

    View Profile
    Hey again, before we move into the details I'm going to ask that you make similar changes as we did with your other profile. Please separate your skills and abilities, and include all items/weapons you intend to use in the inventory section. Please also include links to where items in the inventory were received if possible. Once you've done that I'll be able to properly evaluate the profile.
    ... They fell to him as prey to bluefin
    for the Jya's warriors knew not how to swim...
    13-3-2

    I wrote a book! ~ Most Suave Character 2010

  3. #3
    Member
    EXP: 16,941, Level: 5
    Level completed: 50%, EXP required for next level: 3,059
    Level completed: 50%,
    EXP required for next level: 3,059
    GP
    715
    Nightsangel's Avatar

    Name
    Sivienna Anzu Mizami
    Age
    24 in human years 98 in vampiress years
    Race
    Vampiress
    Gender
    Female
    Hair Color
    Purple with black tinged bangs
    Eye Color
    Light Lavender
    Build
    5'5 height and 122 lbs
    Job
    Exotic Dancer

    Ok no problem

  4. #4
    Maul-Slayer
    EXP: 172,649, Level: 18
    Level completed: 14%, EXP required for next level: 16,351
    Level completed: 14%,
    EXP required for next level: 16,351
    GP
    16,175
    Breaker's Avatar

    Name
    Joshua Breaker Cronen
    Age
    Ageless (looks 28)
    Race
    Demigod (human)
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Light Brown
    Eye Color
    Hazel
    Build
    6 feet / 202 lbs.

    View Profile
    Just let me know when you've made those changes, no rush.
    ... They fell to him as prey to bluefin
    for the Jya's warriors knew not how to swim...
    13-3-2

    I wrote a book! ~ Most Suave Character 2010

  5. #5
    Member
    EXP: 16,941, Level: 5
    Level completed: 50%, EXP required for next level: 3,059
    Level completed: 50%,
    EXP required for next level: 3,059
    GP
    715
    Nightsangel's Avatar

    Name
    Sivienna Anzu Mizami
    Age
    24 in human years 98 in vampiress years
    Race
    Vampiress
    Gender
    Female
    Hair Color
    Purple with black tinged bangs
    Eye Color
    Light Lavender
    Build
    5'5 height and 122 lbs
    Job
    Exotic Dancer

    Edits made Breaker couldn't find any of the threads for her items sorry. Let me know if I need to fix anything else and thanks ^_^

  6. #6
    Maul-Slayer
    EXP: 172,649, Level: 18
    Level completed: 14%, EXP required for next level: 16,351
    Level completed: 14%,
    EXP required for next level: 16,351
    GP
    16,175
    Breaker's Avatar

    Name
    Joshua Breaker Cronen
    Age
    Ageless (looks 28)
    Race
    Demigod (human)
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Light Brown
    Eye Color
    Hazel
    Build
    6 feet / 202 lbs.

    View Profile
    This isn't the first time I've asked this, but please separate your skills from your abilities. Here is the difference:

    Skills:
    Skills consist of knowledge based actions your character can take. This is best thought of as having the knowledge on something, but not necessarily the ability to do it. Common example include Swordsmanship, Herbology, Archery, Hunting, Cooking and Singing.

    Abilities:
    Abilities have a direct affect actions a character (including yours). This encompasses things like magic and body related actions (like speed and strength). Common Abilities include Elemental Magic, Speed, Strength and Summoning.

    If you require more information, consult The Beginner's Guide to Althanas

    Another thing you could do to make this profile more legible is get rid of the old versions of your abilities. Here's an example.

    Special trait: Regenerative powers: This is an innate power that Sivienna was born with. Right now it is only able to regenerate small cuts and bruises. However, as she grows older and stronger this regenerative ability will be able to repair much more serious injury then small cuts and bruises.

    Now that Sivienna has grown slightly in strength her regeneration powers can now heal much larger cuts and bruises. However it isn't strong enough yet to heal semi-deep gashes nor deep gashes nor serious injuries. (As she grows stronger in level so will her regeneration trait.)

    Sivienna’s strength has once more increased so now her regeneration ability can heal much more serious wounds. Now this ability can heal wounds that are pretty big and slightly deep. The same goes for large bruises and heavy bleeding. However, it still isn’t strong enough to heal mega serious wounds and bruises. She needs to grow more in strength for that happen. (As she grows stronger so will her regeneration trait.)

    Now Sivienna's regeneration ability can heal more then a pretty big and slightly deep wound, she can heal a bit more serious wounds now, the same goes for large bruises and heavy bleeding, however her regeneration ability still has more room to grow to heal deathly serious injuries and wounds.
    This is way, way, WAY more information than I need, and it's extremely confusing to read that the ability does one thing, and then read that it does something else. This ability should be condensed to;

    Now Sivienna's regeneration ability can heal more then a pretty big and slightly deep wound, she can heal a bit more serious wounds now, the same goes for large bruises and heavy bleeding, however her regeneration ability still has more room to grow to heal deathly serious injuries and wounds.
    Isn't that neater, and about a thousand times easier to read?

    Once you've cleaned up this profile a bit, we can proceed. As things stand, it's extremely difficult for me to tell how many abilities she has and exactly what they do.
    ... They fell to him as prey to bluefin
    for the Jya's warriors knew not how to swim...
    13-3-2

    I wrote a book! ~ Most Suave Character 2010

  7. #7
    Member
    EXP: 16,941, Level: 5
    Level completed: 50%, EXP required for next level: 3,059
    Level completed: 50%,
    EXP required for next level: 3,059
    GP
    715
    Nightsangel's Avatar

    Name
    Sivienna Anzu Mizami
    Age
    24 in human years 98 in vampiress years
    Race
    Vampiress
    Gender
    Female
    Hair Color
    Purple with black tinged bangs
    Eye Color
    Light Lavender
    Build
    5'5 height and 122 lbs
    Job
    Exotic Dancer

    Whoops made this profile along time ago xd not at my computer I'll clean it up tonight! Right now I'm resting. Thanks for the help though breaker!

    EDIT: Ok I cleaned up the profile Breaker. Hopefully that looks alot cleaner and more organized. Sorry it was such a mess before! Hopefully this is ok!
    Last edited by Nightsangel; 07-27-17 at 03:55 AM.

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