Story 5/10
Storytelling, Setting, and Pacing
Setting:
I love the intro that skie did, and setting was a strong point for the both of you. Granted most of that setting was mangled bodies and gore, but it was painted in an interesting light. This continued throughout and I feel it was a strong point for the both of you.
However, the one place you did fall short on in is the actual story itself, I know its leading up to something and as usual when it comes to Aurelianus, bigger picture rather than smaller (aka multiple threads) but as a stand alone this thread didn't. Pacing also seemed lacking. It seemed like the thread was rushed to be finished, it had a strong lead up but no middle or proper end.
Character 8/10
Communication, Action, and Persona
Avery is interesting, as most succubi and incubi I have seen on Althanas are all about the 'mmm yes sex pls.' and less about the more intricate details and darker aspects that I would imagine to follow such a race. Although I feel a little disappointed I didn't get a better read on his persona in this thread, he definitely came off as the more submissive type when pitted against Aurelianus, not only in the more devious/sexual aspects but in wits.
Aurelianus' character has always been interesting, from his personality to his looks to his speech mannerisms. TO me, he is a unique character with dark desires and forces an overall narrative that leaves the reader questioning him and his motives. This can be both good and bad as I imagine it can be infuriating to some.
I enjoyed the initial tit for tat the two shared, and the curiosity of Avery when it came to flesh crafting and Aure's finer arts
Action I am not sure what to say here in terms of action, as I feel this could be split into a few different categories, primarily sex and flesh crafting. Both were languid but felt a little short
Prose 9/10
Mechanics, Clarity, and Technique
Few typos here and there, including names. C'mon folks don't typo the names!
Edit: After re-reading both profiles I realise it is not a typo but a nickname. Withdrawn.
I like the small details; things like this which help paint the bigger picture and add more overall.
Beyond that, I had no real issue with reading the thread, I am not the most grammatically profound but read no real errors, my only qualm (and I am being nit-picky here) is the over reliant use of commas.The rings piercing his tapered ears chimed melodically as they perked up, picking out what the breath-taking creature had said.
Wildcard 9/10
I love this style of writing and you two bounced off each other really well. This thread was one of the first threads I ever read when I came to Althanas and I'm happy to see it finally come to an end, this isn't the first time I've gone through and re read it, it's one of the ones I really genuinely enjoyed. (I unno what that says about me) I didn't give a perfect score because I'd rather not give Aure a bigger head than he already has, and I am talking about the one on top of his shoulders.
Submit Thread for Judgment