Distractions

[Lavinian Pride]

A resounding slap hit the air as one of the men hit her with a backhand. She spat out the blood before she said, "Should have known you were into that kinky Sado masocist crap..." Another hit winded her as she refused to shut up croaking, "I don't play that way boys..."

"For once in your life bitch, shut up!" A man growled as he hit her again. This time she had to remain silent as she was winded and trying to recover her breath. Soon another lantern was lit revealing her to be in some kind of stall. Wincing as the light hit her she heard the last voice she ever wanted to hear.

"Well now, if it isn't my shy girl..." Stanmen's voice drifted through the air. As she groaned a foot carefully pried her legs apart before he said, "Yeah, locked legs alright. I'll give you a chance to live though, if you'll be a whore for me, customers would pay to get their hands on a hot little body like yours, and since I got your gear, I don't think you'd be too dangerous if we tied you down..."

"Go to hell..." She managed wheezing before she felt a boot connect with her ribcage collapsing her lungs and winding her again. She coughed and gasped while Stanmen knelt beside her and grabbed her by her hair pulling roughly to force her to look at him. Looking up she could see anger and hatred burning in his eyes as he drew her face closer to his.

She could smell the left over bits of his dinner on his breath as he hissed, "You're going to beg by the end of this you slut, then I'm going to make you pay for nearly castrating me. I'll be your first customer and so will my boys, that way you learn to treat us with respect."

She continued to gasp as he said, "Start begging and I may not go so rough on you princess. Otherwise, I'm going to have to break you in..." A few chuckles echoed through the area as more lanterns were lit revealing them to be in some kind of barn. Across the main area from Sarah was the Barbarian who had rescued her from her earlier plight. Groaning she looked down her hair covering her face before Stanmen grabbed a handful and yanked her head back up, "Start talking to me bitch, start begging..."

Another cough was heard through the air before the sound of her forcing as much spit through her pursed lips could be heard. Stanmen took a step back as he growled, "You little whore! You think this is a game?" He then wiped the spit from his face as he went over to another stall. The sound of something metallic scraping the floor could be heard as he moved, large battle axe in hand into her stall and said, "I could just gut you and have my fun, either way I'm going to make you beg for it..."

[The Barbarian]

Shit shit shit! Tyrael’s mind raced as he saw that all eyes were on the spectacle. Now was his best chance to get loose, but he’d also need to be the distraction she’d need in order to live a few extra seconds.

His arms began to ache from being held up for so long and his back was starting to cramp. He really had no other choice but to use his Break ability. Doubling his strength would quite literally rip the rope into pieces, but getting to her was a whole other problem. Berserker would make him faster, but it would reduce his ability to keep them up.

Wait….perfect!

Closing his eyes, he concentrated on his mark, making sure to focus correctly and not screw things up. Another life was in his hands, as bitchy as she could be, and he wasn’t about to mess up now. Perhaps this was his test…the test of protecting others who were complete and total strangers…

“Break!!” Tyrael roared as his strength doubled. He tore away the rope like cotton candy and broke away at the bindings at his leg. Stooping low before they could get on him, he grabbed the lantern next to him and swinging it into the face of the guy on his left. Glass and cheap iron erupted on his nose and forehead, sending shards falling to the ground. Tyrael could hear an order from Stanmen, who was now looking at the monster on the loose, and scooped up the largest piece of glass from the ground. Grabbing a man rushing him by the throat, he lifted him off the ground and tossed him like a sack of potatoes into two other men.

“F*ck!” Stanmen said as he began to turn back to the girl, who was hanging as helpless as a dead rabbit in some butcher’s shop. Flinging the glass with all his might before three men jumped on top of him, it flew like a saucer, slicing through most of the rope holding her up. His immense strength treated the glass like an arrow, but he still hadn’t the strength to fully cut her down. If she yanked down hard enough, she’d break free, but she was on her own now. Tyrael was busy taking body shots and clawing at a guy hanging around his neck as if he were a cape.

Help…those…in…need! Tyrael’s conscious rose from some grave deep within his mind, telling him that he could still help before the other men reached him. Stanmen was about to gut her like a fish…but his attention wasn’t on the barbarian anymore. Reaching behind his head with both hands, the warrior grabbed the man on his back by the head, ripped it off violently, like someone might pull a vegetable out of tough soil, and chucked it like a ball at Stanmen, clocking him on the side of the head.

There…bought ya some time… He thought as he shook the corpse off his back and stumbled back, adrenaline gone. His strength was still with him, but his breath was fading. The two other men had been going to work on his front and now he was feeling the effects. And still another three men finished circling him in.

One last move I got before I’m completely screwed… He thought with a smile. This was battle. This was what a barbarian lived for…

[Lavinian Pride]

As the glass cut through the rope Stanmen lifted the axe. Sliding his shoulder down he made to swing at her before she hissed, "Never corner a Lavinian!" Pulling down on the ropes Stanmen's attack missed the mark and sank into the soft wood of the stall side. Before he could act she had already grabbed the glass shard from the ground and moved to slash.

Stanmen was not a fool and seeing the glint of the glass in the light of the lantern let his axe go before jumping back. The sound of metal upon metal could be heard as Sarah got to her feet dropping into the stance of a Lavinian dagger fighter. Her eyes locked onto Stanmens as he spoke, "That’s it bitch, when I'm through with you you're hanging outside the promenade, no one crosses Stanmen and lives..."

"Funny, I would think the same would go for picking on a Dahlios..." Sarah said arrogantly as she waited on Stanmen's strike. She knew going on the offensive wouldn’t work as she only had a glass shard; she had to make it count.

Stanmen however seemed all too eager as he lunged forward rather stupidly. Sarah grabbed his hand pulling him forward before she sank the tip of the glass deeply inside him. Her hand moved along the hilt of the dagger as she pulled it out of his hand and with an expert twirl slashed through the major arteries of her victim. Coughing, and with a wet gasp, he fell to his knees as copious amounts of blood escaped him. She then took the dagger and stabbed down into his spine, separating the vertebrae before neatly cutting it. The men nearby watched in horror as she twirled the dagger casually and pointed it towards one of the goons.

The man saw the rampaging Barbarian and the pissed of frigid bitch before he shouted, "Stanmen's dead lets jet!"

“Better run” She growled before she looked around. Noticing a second dagger on Stanmen she frowned before she knelt by the corpse. She then muttered, “You little…stole my daggers and everything!” Tearing her dagger belt off the body she once more let it go around her waist before the adrenaline shorted out. Groaning as she leaned against the wall she gripped her ribs as she said, “Ooh I think that last kick bruised these guys…”

[The Barbarian]

Tyrael raised his arms to fight, even though they burned like the very depths of Hell. It was more of a scare tactic than anything else, since his body was throbbing with pain. It was then he heard the cry of fright as Stanmen went down and the rest of his crew ran out of the barn. Walking slowly over to the girl, who was leaning against a wall, he said, “Name’s Tyrael. Don’t gotta tell me yours, but I thought my own name sounded kinda better than ‘oaf’…”

He grinned at her as he turned away to gather his weapons that they had thrown into a corner. Heh…didn’t even need them… He thought as he looked at his bloody hands. Pieces of flesh from where he’d dug his fingers under the man’s chin were under his nails. Slightly grossed out but not negating how manly he felt, he left it there, not caring much about personal hygiene at the moment.

As he hoisted his weapons onto his back, he told the girl, “If ya want, you can ride on my back. I won’t feel your weight for a good eight or nine more minutes; should be enough time to get back to the main road.

“Wow! Whoooo boy! Ya did it! Woooooopdeeeeedoooooo!!!!!”

Tyrael’s eyes closed as he heard the sound of the ghost from earlier. He opened them and turned to face him, but was surprised to see a few dozen other ghosts with him. Apparently, Stanmen had been quite the busy bee.

They all cheered and gave random but ordinary thanks and ghostly hugs. He couldn’t hug them back, since the young woman would see Tyrael hugging the air, but he just smiled at the ghosts as they faded away, their killer now killed. “Good job, Tyrael. You are learning…”

The barbarian smiled, recognizing the voice of his angelic mentor. He’d given the hero thing a shot, and ended up helping more people than he thought possible. But I didn’t even get a chance to kill him…

Shaking away his small regrets, he looked at her with quizzical eyes. “So you need my help or you still got it on your own?” He said with a soft smile.

[Lavinian Pride]

Sarah remained still for what seemed like forever as she heard the last of the men bolt. She was in pain that much she knew. How much was a question that she knew would probably be answered the next morning, with a nice long bath and a relaxing day. For now it was so late she would pass out as soon as she hit the bed, which she was grateful for if nothing else that night went right.

Every breath hurt and every pain was magnified now that she was fully feeling her body. As she closed her eyes she looked down, many loose strands of hair falling to make a curtain as she assessed the damage. She could feel numerous bruises and aches forming as she took a steadying breath. Realizing Tyrael was waiting for an answer she braced herself. As she looked at him she chuckled softly before wincing, "I thought you'd know by now, Sarah Dahlios doesn't take help form anyone..."

She then sighed as she took a few shaky steps before she groaned and clutched her side. Moving over to Tyrael she said, "However, I'll pay you to carry me back to the main road, twenty gold sound fair?"

She knew he might get the joke, however she also secretly hoped he wouldn't. The twenty gold was what seemed like ages ago, when she had nearly slammed a door in his face. Things had seemed simpler then, now she was stuck with an odd friend if anything, and was in the middle of a barn her dagger belt around her slender hips and her pack pulling her shoulder and giving her a constant source of annoyance through pain.

Looking up at her barbarian comrade she waited to see his reaction.

[The Barbarian]

((OOC:Bunny Approved.))

“I suppose. But don’t pay me ‘til we get there.” He said with a wink.

He bent low as he scooped her up in his arms. She seemed to weigh not even one pound; it was as if he were walking with his arms out in front of him. “Let’s go.” He said softly as he stepped out into the darkness of the night. The same owl was still hooting like a moron, but it was cut short as the sound of a predator nabbed it. Smiling, Tyrael felt justice would always prevail.

The walk back wasn’t too hard, mainly walking over fallen logs, trampling through bushes, and scaring off the random lone coyote or wolf that felt hungry. The term "not out of the woods yet" was becoming all to clear to him. But he made fairly good time and reached the road just as his Break was about to wear off. He could feel his arms becoming as heavy as lead and twice as stiff. Letting them hang at his sides, he nodded his head at the young woman, “Well, Sarah, this is it. Fate’ll let us know when we’ll meet again.” He looked at her with his big glowing blue eyes, “And don’t let that spirit die. You leaning against a wall doesn’t suit ya.” Weakly raising his left hand, he patted her lightly on the shoulder, “Take care of yourself.”

On that note, he turned and walked away, heading for the Bazaar. Perhaps his next test would lie somewhere within the depths of a merchant’s money grubbing hands. Even though he was bruised, bloody, exhausted, and very hungry…he felt like he wouldn’t have traded this night for any other. He’d made a friend, albeit in a very odd fashion, learned something new about himself.

“I had complete faith in you Tyrael.” His mentor said.

The warrior nodded slightly, smiling proudly, a part of his heart shining brighter than ever before.

[Lavinian Pride]

Without even a word of warning he swept her quite literally off her feet. Rather than fight against the rather suave treatment she went with it. Let him think he was the good guy. She was tired, sore and frankly didn't want to deal with bumping egos. They had clashed once already and she didn’t like the fact she came off twenty gold richer.

As she waited for them to make it through she rested her head on his chest. The rocking of her body as he carried her made her feel like a little girl being carried by her parents away from the mean monsters. She felt almost safe in his arms, yet it was a false security. They had both needed each other. Had he not freed her, she'd have been dead, but if she hadn't been freed, he would have been swarmed until he couldn't fight. It was this fact ringing in the back of her mind that reminded her that the world was dangerous, and she had to always be vigilant.

As they finally reached the road she stood on her feet a bit shaken and wobbly but alright. As he spoke he began to walk off as she checked her gear before she gave him a casual salute. Moving to the inn she had wanted to stay in she paid for a cheap room and began the tired trudge upstairs. With each step she could hear gold jingle in her satchel before she reached her room. Finally once in the safety of the inn's room she looked in her pack to see twenty gold staring her in the face.

"Son of a..."

He had left without her giving back a single coin of his money. She knew that she should have remembered, but part of her felt partial to the gold. Slipping off her gloves she carefully cupped it in a slender hand. She wasn’t one who enjoyed taking gifts from others, but she was almost pleased to see the gold in her hand. Sighing as she collapsed on the bed she closed her eyes as the moon began its downward trek. Perhaps no one would know who killed Stanmen, but the gift of an Underwood free from the crime lord would certainly be welcome.

Raising her head up she blew out the light of the candle letting darkness claim her world once more.

[Storm Veritas]

JUDGMENT TIME!

A very nice little quest here. I like that neither of you were too far reaching, and didn't attempt to create some monstrous scale search for the Holy Grail. Both of you write very well, and I had a good time reading this; it was well crafted and very easy to follow. I'll give some criticisms, but it is more opinion than cold advice, as most of the stuff I don't care for is subjective. There is little to nothing that was done wrong here.

Also, I will be using the traditional rubric, probably for the last time here.

Introduction - 7 Very nicely done. I don't mind the cliched tavern entrance when it's done well. This was good, although the speed of development of the opening scene doesn't match the rest of the thread.
Setting - 5 I had a very good feel of setting in the bar, but setting was somewhat inconsistent here. I like the succinct writing style, but sometimes I just didn't get a feel of the environment.
Character - 7 Very well done. Sarah is by nature a little distant from the reader, but that mystery makes her interesting. Tyrael is expulsive, a bit simple, but easy to delve into. I was satisfied here.
Writing Style - 6 I've seen better from you, Sarah, but it was certainly very solid. A simple endeavor, but well executed.
Tyrael shows a ton of promise, but there were a few things that annoyed me. There were several points where it was clear that you didn't re-read your post before throwing it up there, because even though the spelling was correct, the text didn't read right. Also, I strongly recommend against specifically "naming" your skills in combat. It seems very dragonball z-ish, and unrealistic. Would he really care what the name of his powers were, or would he just do it?
Again, I'm nitpicking here, because the writing was very good on the whole. In my experience, with all the mistakes I make in writing, I love to have an honest vantagepoint, so I don't pull punches when I see stuff that I think could be improved. I can't stress enough that these are subjective opinions, and that you can take or leave my thoughts, because you're obviously both good writers.
Dialogue - 8 Strong. Strong to very strong. Both were for the most part very convincing, and I love the attitude you two convey with thoughts and phrases. To nitpick once again, I thought the NPCs were a bit cliche with their mean-spirit, and there could have been a bit more humor or just off-tempo style writing. And "Whoop-dee-doo" aggravated the hell out of me, because it seems very un-barbarian and childish. But that's me.
Rising Action - 5 Very good for a short quest. I was interested in the rescue, even though you could see it coming a mile away. I like that neither character was helpless or faultless. I liked that there was a sense of urgency. It just wasn't immensely compelling, or of a grandiose scale needed for a higher score.
Climax - 3 Well written and somewhat satisfying, but I would think tearing someone's head off and using it as a dodgeball, then killing the rapist ultra-asshole would warrant a bit more detail and emotion.
Conclusion - 6 Again, it was clean and well written, but lacked fire, and settled a short quest. It was serviceable. Having Sarah get robbed at the end was a cute little twist - I gave you an extra point for that.
Strategy - 4 Less than profound. I like simplish quests, but I could tell you what was going to happen in the next post almost without fail throughout the quest. Unnecessary turns aren't a good thing, but neither is predictability. To be fair, in a simple quest such as this, you're largely handcuffed with strategy. There isn't much you can do in terms of creating some complex conspiracy in a dozen and a half short posts. Even though 4 is a low score, I don't think you did poorly here, but the four is a product of your quest style in this case.
Wild Card - 6 Two very good writers make a very nice, cleanly written short quest. These are the types of quests that make Althanas fun, without always taking everything incredibly serious. Very nicely done. I've been a fan (and continue to be a fan) of the Dahlios family writing style, and now Tyrael has grabbed my interest as well.

SCORE - 57

SPOILS -
Lavinian Pride (level 1) gets 746 EXP and 100 gold (to hell with IC losses)
The Barbarian (level 1) gets 746 EXP and 100 gold

Good job folks. Looking forward to more from each of you, be it together, in solos, or involved with other Althanians.

[Thoracis]

EXP and GP added!