The Necromancer's Lab. (Treasure Hunt/Closed)

[Call me J]

This quest ended up being one in which, for a variety of reasons, was essentially carried by Lorenor. While other people’s contributions were important parts of the thread, this thread really lived and died by what Lorenor did.

Total Score- 56.5

• STORY ~ 14/30

Continuity (5) ~ This thread was one of those threads where the introduction had me scratching my head. Lorenor, you generally show a lot of continuity, but sometimes, you don’t do a good job of making sure that you’re telling me the important parts of your history. While telling me about Lorenor’s ambivalence to the Gol’bron was nice, it was hard to understand why he was going on the mission. Conversely, I really liked the way you worked Antioch into this quest.

Setting (5) ~ The bigger problems in this thread really emerged from a lack of emphasis by many of the quest’s participants. Lorenor acknowledged setting periodically, but Dark Temptress was the only other one that really did a good job.

Pacing (4) ~ This thread didn’t really seem to go anywhere for very long periods of time. The entire part with Dark Temptress seemed unnecessary.

• CHARACTER ~ 16.5/30

Dialogue (5) ~ My one real comment is for Daggertail. Make sure that you watch to see that dialogue resembles the way a character would speak, considering the setting and circumstances.

Action (5) ~ A lot of the action in the quest was questionable, especially in terms of the way that Lorenor seemed to introduce himself to the majority of characters. Also, while I understand that you needed to continue the quest without Daggertail, the way in which she was dismissed from the quest was very illogical. Another thing I would like to add is how impressed I was with Sweet_Oblivion’s considerations about what his character would and would not know. This sort of attention to detail is quite rare, and it is good to see.

Persona (6.5) ~ In my opinion, this was the strongest area of the non-writing aspects of thread, both by Lorenor and the supporting characters, including Dark Temptress.

• WRITING STYLE ~ 19/30

Mechanics (6) ~ This varied a great deal based on the writer.

Technique (6) ~ Lorenor, I feel that you used considerably less imagery this time than you do normally.

Clarity (7) ~ Lorenor, you need to do a better job at times at making sure that what you think ends up on paper in a way that others can interpret it effectively. Sometimes, it seems like you’re trying to get a lot of ideas on paper, and they all come out at the same time in a way that backfires on their effectiveness.

• Wild Card (7) ~ I’m pleased to see the efforts that were put forward in this quest to see it through the end. Because I feel the score suffered a bit in other categories due to the constant comings and goings of people, I wanted to add points here to make up for that.

Spoils
Mutant Lorenor gains 2955 EXP and 847-500= 347 GP and his spoils. However, the flight ring is somewhat vague. I would like you to talk to an RoG mod about the exact specifics for it. If a judge feels that you have used it to powergame, they reserve the right to penalize you for it.
Daggertail gains 635 EXP and 367 GP
Dark Temptress gains 375 EXP and 141 GP
Sweet_Oblivion gains 608 EXP and 339 + 500= 839 GP

[Karuka]

EXP/GP added!