This round was weird, guys. The technical issues played games for nearly the entire round, and I think none of you actually got as far as you would have had things been stable. Everybody’s going to suffer a bit in continuity, but keep in mind that it’s not really your fault.
Thoracis
Continuity: [This wouldn’t have been bad, but nothing advanced nearly far enough.] 6/15
Setting: [I was left in the fog at times.] 5
Pacing: 7
Action: [It was a decent story, but I thought you got outshined in this category by Bleater.] 7/15
Dialogue: 8
Persona: [You did well here. Keeping up with character and action at the same time was impressive…] 7
Mechanics: 8
Technique: 7
Clarity: 6
Total: 62
Bleater
Continuity: [If only it had finished…] 6/15
Setting: [I thought you were the best in this category. Remember not to lose the big picture for the sake of the details, though. Balance!] 7
Pacing: 7
Action: [I thought the political game you played with your characters was extremely entertaining. I’ll be blunt with you: I believe Thor has a slightly better literary style, but I also believe your internal story more than made up the difference. This section ultimately won you the battle.] 10/15
Dialogue: 8
Persona: [I loved the tension between officers. Well played!] 7
Mechanics: [I have something to nitpick with you. Occasionally, your adjectives don’t quite line up right with the nouns they describe. For instance, I don’t think of a chin as something that can be bushy. It can be big, small, stubbly, whatever, but the beard is the part that’s bushy, not the chin. Again, this is nitpicking and I didn’t really penalize you for it. Other than this, there were errors speckled here and there but nothing horrible.] 6
Technique: 6
Clarity: 6
Total: 63
Tiberius
Continuity: [You disappeared in the middle of the battle! I got a beginning and a middle from the others… from you, I only got a beginning.] 3/15
Setting: 6
Pacing: [You disappeared!] 5
Action: [The disappearance really hurt your chances in this battle.] 5/15
Dialogue: 7
Persona: [Kinda blocky and flat. The characters didn’t carry all that much depth; rather, they seemed only to exist to serve their purpose.] 5
Mechanics: 7
Technique: [Your posts aren’t actually that long, but it feels like you ramble for some reason. I couldn’t help but think that a fair amount of your text is fluff – words and descriptions thrown in to make your posts seem longer than they really are. You don’t need to do this. If you’ve said everything you need to say, you’re all set.] 5
Clarity: 6
Total: 49
Bleater wins the match and advances to the finals.
Bleater gains 2200 EXP and 500 GP.
Thoracis gains 600 EXP and 300 GP.
Tiberius gains 400 EXP and 200 GP.
Also, for EXP purposes only (this score has no bearing on the winner of the battle):
Max Dirks
Continuity: [There was quite a bit of backstory here that was lost on me. I don’t know Dirks well enough as a character to understand some of what happened, particularly in your earlier posts.] 5/15
Setting: 7
Pacing: [The disappearance hurt you a lot here.] 5
Action: [The comedy was a welcome sight in the midst of a shitload of gravity and drama, I must say.] 8/15
Dialogue: [Same thing.] 8
Persona: 7
Mechanics: [A few errors, nothing major.] 7
Technique: [Your style is never difficult to read. Well done.] 9
Clarity: [The illusion stuff was cool… once I knew what the hell was going on.] 6
Total: 62
Max Dirks gains 600 EXP and 300 GP.
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