It wasn't every day you were sitting at a bar (enjoying a fine single malt scotch), and a man suddenly pulled up a chair and sat down across from you. It was even more unusual for the man (who looked so slick that an open flame might start a fire; Sheex put out his cigarette just in case) to pull out a small bottle, set in on the table, and tap you on the shoulder with a grin that made a guy about to sell you a nice piece of swampland look honest.

Actually, this was Althanas. Such a thing was probably perfectly normal for a lot of people.

"My fine young man," the man began, "have I got an offer for you! This, my dear boy, comes from the Raiaera, land of mystic wonder! My friend, have you ever been to Raiaera?"

"Isn't that the place that got royally wrecked by a necromancer?" Sheex asked as he decided that setting whoever this was on fire would be doing sweet old ladies everywhere a service.

The man's smile flickered like the ember of a flame that had not been quite put out; momentarily dampened, but soon to burn bright again.

"Indeed, a tragic tale, to be sure. But, before those dark days, Raiaera was beautiful to behold. Enchantments, magical crafts; my good sir, so many wonderful things to be seen!" the man held up the bottle (a pinkish liquid of sorts), as his (very unrealistic) white teeth sparkled.

"And elf babes so hot the sun feels outdone. Look pal, whatever you're selling, I think I'll pass. Magic really isn't my thing," Sheex muttered as he finished off his scotch. "There are more important things in life anyhow."

"Like that waitress you've been eyeing each time she passes by?" the stranger said with a mischievous grin. Sheex muttered that the man was an astute bastard, if nothing else, but failed to see how a bit of colored water would help in that regard.

"Because my lecherous loser," the salesman ignored the rude remark Sheex responded with (it involved the man's mother, and a broomstick handle), "this is not colored water! Indeed, it is a secret potion, crafted from by gone times-"

"That will make any woman fall in love with me? Yeah, I tried one of those once. Not only did it not work, but the girl sent her boyfriend on me when she found out I tried to seduce her with a love potion. I ended up with a bloody lip, a sore face, and my hair messed up all for the low-low price of ten gold coins! So, thanks, but no thanks. Maybe that creepy old guy in the corner will fall for it though," Sheex tossed a few coins onto the table to pay for his drink, and made to leave. Of course, no good strange salesman gave up so easily.

"Ah, but did that supplier of happy nights allow you a free sample? Eh? Eh?" the man asked as he caught Sheex by the arm.

"No," the wanderer responded slowly, "all she did was cackle and keep calling me sonny."

"Then try it my dear friend. Try, and behold the wonders of an ancient race!" the salesman offered up the bottle, and motioned for Sheex to apply some to his neck, as one would cologne (or perhaps bug spray). With a "what the hell" shrug, Sheex dabbed three drops onto his neck, and approached the waitress he had been eyeing.

"Hey babes," the wanderer said with a smile not unlike that of the salesman's, "wanna play war? I lay down, you blow the fu-"

The sound of a solid slap-to-a-pervert's-face echoed throughout the bar.

"Thought as much," Sheex muttered as he rubbed his cheek, "and no, oh very scary bartender with the bat, there's no need to be violent. I was on my way out."

Ignoring the salesman's shouts of the potion took time to take affect, Sheex strolled out into the night. There wasn't too much to do in this town, and he had just got himself more or less banned from the tavern (which as any adventure knows, has a solid hold on all adventures....not that Sheex was interested in those things). With nothing else to do, Sheex decided to kick a rock into the air, and head off to the inn.

"OW! GOD DAMN IT!" a voice screamed, "WHO THE HELL IS THROWING ROCKS? I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL-"

"Please don't be a large guy with a giant axe, please don't be a large guy with a giant axe," Sheex found himself praying as he did the responsible thing, and promptly put as much distance between him and whoever it was that was screaming as humanly possible. It was to no avail, for the wanderer was rather poor with directions, and managed to round the corner just as the injured party was finishing their sentence.

"-blow the ever loving daylights out of him!" was the last thing Sheex heard before he found himself being pressed against an alley wall, with his tongue engaged in a fierce sparring match.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Sheex whispered as he raised up his hands slightly, and felt two very supple objects. He opened his eyes to find out that before him was a beautiful woman of about twenty-three years of age, and he was kissing her passionately.

"Freaking blow me. It actually works!" the wanderer exclaimed as the woman removed his pants.

"I would hope so," was the woman's reply as she fondled him, "otherwise I'm going to be very disappointed."

Roughly a half-hour later, Sheex stumbled out of the alley, muttering something about the randomness of the birds and the bees. The woman had left just as quickly as she had come (pun intended), which was all well and good with Sheex. After all, he himself was a tad bit worn, and a shower wouldn't exactly be a bad thing right about now.

Plus his head hurt. Wait, there was an actual reason for that; he had just been tackled to the ground by that waitress he had hit on. Except now she didn't seem so get-away-from-me-you stupid-pervert; she was in a more take-me-now-you-handsome-beast.

"Jackpot," Sheex whispered, "though maybe we could grab a room? All this 'in the back alley' stuff is kinda tiring...and that wasn't a sexual metaphor...and least not yet."

But before he could do the dirty deed, the waitress was shoved to the side by a feisty brunette. Then, the brunette was punched by a red-head, who was bitch-slapped by some goth emo chick, who was down right pulverized by a rather large woman with black hair.

"Ah, I get it," Sheex muttered as he crawled away from the melee (minus his shoes...a blonde was clinging to them rather fiercely), "this is one of those moments where I repent my lecherous nature, seeing as how the whole town is about to fight over me. Well, the joke's on you God! Like I'd pass this up!"

Shoeless, and now missing one of his socks, Sheex scrambled up onto a conveniently placed box. He cupped his hands together, and screamed as loud as he could the one thing that mattered the most at times like these.

"HEY! CAT FIGHT!" Sheex screamed as he sat down, pulled out his hip flask, and sipped at it. His money was on the tub of a woman with black hair, but that red-head looked like a biter. Better avoid that one. Sheex made a mental note.

"Enough! Stop this disturbance at once!" a very official looking man shouted, as he began tearing his way to Sheex. "None of you can have this man!"

"Spoilsport. I was conducting a legitimate tournament for my affection," Sheex muttered; the man (who looked to be a town guard of sorts) paid him no heed.

"You can't have him because he's MINE! Come into my arms, you gorgeous hunk of a man you!" the guardsman screamed, confessing his undying love.

"And now is when I repent my lecherous nature. Time to exit, stage right!" Sheex swore as he made to dash away, only to be blocked by the underdog of the fight, the brunette. The wanderer rolled his eyes, and motioned at the oncoming guardsman confessing his eternal love, backed by at least one-forth of the town.

"Ah. Save me, fair knight?" Sheex asked politely.

Two days, and a riot later.

"Yes my friend," the strange salesman grinned as he sat down across from a young man at a bar, "have I a deal for you!"

A cry of alarm went out as one Sheex Deltin (now shoeless, sockless, and shirtless) stormed into the bar, and delivered a brutal punch to the salesman. Without another word, the wanderer reached into the man's pocket, and extracted the small bottle of pinkish fluid.

"Moderation," Sheex smiled as he spied a very cute bartender pouring out the drink, "is the key."

From now on, he swore, Sheex would only use one drop.