Sumner v. Bloodrose

Sumner

Continuity 4

Absent, and because of that a lot of what was written and said made no sense to me as a reader. Who are you? What makes you do what you can do? And what part do you play in Althanas? It is obvious you are a bit outside of the normal realm of what is common for players on the site… but it was unexplained.

Setting 6

Well done for the most part.

Pacing 6

Dialogue 5

Your last bit of dialogue was odd, I didn’t understand it’s meaning, but what came up to that point was a bit out of the ordinary as well. Some of it was common slang, and in that sense it was confusing.

Action 6

Persona 5

Technique 6

The most technique I got was when you went into that smoke dream scene, but that made no sense.

Mechanics 8

A couple mistakes, but not bad.

Clarity 6

That little demon smoke thing… not a clue what that is… it’s completely unexplained, so it makes no sense and throws me as the reader for a loop… and not the good way.

Wild Card 6

Score: 58


Bloodrose

Continuity 6

Very little continuity really, but a lot more than your opponent.

Setting 5.5

Not terrible, you did well enough to remind the reader of where this was all taking place, but the opening was the best show of setting… and after that it was just the basics over and over. There’s more than just sight, you know that well, but there were just things missing like smells and the like.

Pacing 7

Dialogue 7

Very well done, the opening set the scene well and added to your overall persona and explained how it all came about.

Action 6.5

Persona 6.5

Technique 7

A lot more than what was given to me by your opponent.

Mechanics 8

Clarity 8

Wild Card 7

Score: 68.5


Rewards:

Bloodrose: 2875 | 300 gold

Sumner: 575 exp | 150 gold