The Sky Is Falling! (Open)

[Ulysses]

Ulysses charged through the doorway and into the Queen’s chamber and was instantly cowed by the scene he saw. The Queen, who he’d never seen in person before, sat at a magnificent round table. She was partially concealed by a silky white veil, and a knowing smile sat on her lips. She seemed remarkably…calm? In the face of eminent doom, he would have expected her to show some more emotion, but perhaps that was just royalty for you. The Templar and Guard stood at her sides, still as statues and equally devoid of expression.

Another man followed him up the stairs, but Ulysses paid him little attention. He was probably just another guard of some sort. There were far more pressing things for him to pay attention to.

On a balcony leading out from the room stood the Prophet, who paced back and forth and watched the sky. His ramblings were no more logical than before, but Ulysses caught a couple phrases.

“The gods have fallen asleep on the job yet again!” the Prophet cried. “Soon, soon we shall—” The Queen hushed him and he fell silent.

Ulysses obeyed the Queen’s summons to sit at her table. He paused for a moment, trying to decipher the meaning behind the words engraved on each chair, but could not. In the end he sat in the chair marked Novellas and turned to face his Queen.

His entire life in Scara Brae, Ulysses had been a firm supporter of the monarchy. He’d ignored the occasional bad policy and wrote off the flare-ups of discontent and democratic feeling as foolishness, but right now he felt sympathy with the Friends he’d met earlier in the day. The Queen looked so serene in the face of this disaster…in that moment he realized something that gripped his naïve heart with existential terror.

She knew! he thought. She knew this was going to happen! Whether she caused it or not, she knew

“How could you do this?” he asked the Queen. “How…you must have known! If that madman knew, surely the royal family knew that the comet was coming. You could have evacuated…something.” He sighed, frustrated. It wasn’t as though the Queen would care what he had to say after all—how he’d ended up here, he had no idea. He still couldn’t get over the impression that he really ought to be by the ocean, in a little cottage with his wife…instead he was arguing with the Queen herself. There was really only one question he cared to know the answer to, though.

“What’s happening?”

[Revenant]

So here we are, the phrase, like whispered words, filled William’s mind as he came to the end of the darkened stairwell, though the revenant could no longer tell if the thought were his own or were given to him to think. A single door waited for him at the end of his destination, designed almost impossibly well to be undistinguishable from the walls around it and yet lolling open, bobbing back and forth almost imperceptibly as if it were a gesturing hand waving him forward.

And forward he went, still moving in the uncommonly fluid grace that had taken him over since that fatefully enlightening moment of clarity at the feet of the stolen prophet. Hazy fog and flashed of half-remembered visions clouded his animal brain, permeating all of his thoughts in a thick mental fog that made it hard to focus. And yet, when he managed to focus long enough, he understood that he could reclaim himself from whatever intangible force that played him like a marionette. It was an odd sensation, feeling his body moving and acting without conscious control, and yet something about the situation seemed right to him, as if everything were coming to pass as it was meant to be. Relaxing his focus, William let the mind-fog retake him and watched like an outside observer as his spattered, grotesquely charred and visceral form entered into the queen’s chambers.

There was no moment of shock or awe as he entered into the very presence of Scara Brae’s commanding persona, nor was there any sense of surprise that the gibbering prophet stood relatively peacefully behind her. It was as if he had expected no less than this exact outcome, or at least whatever force drove him onward had expected nothing less. Nor was he surprised to see the grim, stern looking hostility in the faces of the armored guards which stood ready, even now to draw steel and strike him down. After all, wasn’t it the blood of their own men that currently congealed like thick jelly upon his blackened flesh and bone.

What did surprise William was the fact that the queen’s guards did not attack the demonic stranger on sight. Even more surprising was the fact that instead of lashing out at the flesh of the tender form of Scara Brae’s ruler, the revenant found himself following the sibilant words that flowed from behind her pearl-white teeth and oh-so-human smile.

And then there was the other man, who had apparently entered just scant moments before his own appearance. What was he to make of this fresh faced stranger who, like he, bowed to the regent’s words but who spoke out with confusion, anger, disbelief, and resentment towards her. Taking the seat opposite him, the one marked Angelus William pooled his focus and concentration together, pushing aside the mind-haze just enough to be ready for whatever was to happen next.

[Duffy]

The Queen smiled, and solicited the need to reprimand them both with the pleasure at someone succeeding at long lost. She cleared her throat and adjusted her crown to redouble her legality, and set her eyes on Ulysses and Revenant, one by one.

“I can only hope that you have both heard of Milleius Cordeaux, or have at least encountered the prominence of his legacy – the great magical university that covers much of the city?” She continued on regardless. If they had not, in a few short moments, they most certainly would have. “Several centuries ago he was a powerful, and some say corrupt sorcerer that dwelt in this very tower. He was the advisor and court magician under the control of my predecessor, and as a man with such power, he was feared, respected, and reviled in equal measure.”

The cool air in the interior of the Queen’s chamber began, very slightly, to warm up. It went from a spring evening to a summer morning in temperature in little time at all. She took the time to mop her brow before continuing, allowing the tendrils of intrigue from her story to entice her audience. “Magic became far too uncontrolled in the city during his time as advisor. Very soon, the foundations of the island itself were buffeted by the strong and ill winds that the unbridled and untendered magic caused. My predecessor decided to restrain magic, and decreed the practice of the magical arts to be illegal anywhere in the streets of Scara Brae, and most certainly, criminalised the act of using magic on any other living, or undead being. I will not discuss the current political backlash against the Act of Nullvoid here, let us settle on that another day; the civil war which followed however, is a key fact to the reason you are both here.”

She stood, and the Prophet returned from the balcony at the sound of her chair scraping the cobblestones. “This,” the Queen gestured to the former madman, “is my brother, although the illegitimacy has given me no choice but to keep that fact hidden, he is a most potent magic user himself.”

“My sister is too kind; I am nothing more than a tinkerer and seer into the veil that exists between the realms. But, pray tell Ulysses and William,” he smiled maliciously, divining their names long ago in prophecy and bloodshed, “do you know why the people of Scara Brae can never know who I am, and what a magical sibling would do to my sister’s authority?” It was a simple, if exhaustible question. The Prophet took on a mantle of a wise, if young sage, shedding the former insanity as if it were just an act. His temple and brow smoothed out, his robes appeared more regal and his smile more human.

Whatever had brought them to the tower, had something to do with a war that had raged on unseen for five hundred years. From the afterlife, Milleius Cordeaux cackled as his curse found life once more, and fell upon the city that scorned him so.

Your response to the Queen will determine her next course of action, and ultimately, who she will bestow the providence of her boon upon.

[Revenant]

The revenant was as unfamiliar with Scara Brae’s illustrious history as he was with the name Milleius Cordeaux.

Just my fucking luck, William snarled in the back of his mind, the dark corner where he had ferreted his free will away, safely kept out of the hands of the commanding influence that held sway over his demonic form. Am I to be the puppet of every sorcerer’s ancient magic?

It was a bitter pill to swallow, knowing that the force commanding him was not an unknowable force of destiny moving the world steadily towards ruin, but a petty man reaching out to spank his disobedient children from beyond the grave. Frankly, the thought galled him, stoking the fires of his latescent anger. The molten rage flowing through his veins, locked away by Cordeaux’s curse, began to slowly build back up in intensity.

“”The Sky will fall,” the words were even and emotionless, spoken from William’s throat but not of his voice, “just as Scara Brae will fall, in flames.”

“No,” his true voice answered, “you will not use me this way.” William’s entire body shook as he mentally warred with the sorcerer’s curse. The tips of his claws dug gouges in the Queen’s table as he unconsciously dragged them across the glossy surface in his attempt to regain control. The Provost and the Templar shifted forward slightly, their eagerness to draw their blades and strike apparent in every move. But the Queen’s slight gesture stayed their hands.

Another flash of brilliance lit William’s mind with visions of chaos and destruction, the attempt of Cordeaux’s curse to crush William’s resistance once and for all. Refusing to submit, William clamped his eyes shut against the light, roared his defiance, and pulled every bit of strength he could muster from his demonic power. Caught between the two extremes, the curse broke, like a string pulled past its snapping point. Pushed to the limit, William’s power faded with the receding force of the curse, and within moments he had returned to his human form.

When the revenant opened his eyes, he was startled at what he saw. Webbed lines were pulled tightly across his field of vision, remnants of the curse’s destructive insight. Countless lines of the thread were wrapped around the Queen and her brother, as they did around the young man sitting in the Novellas chair and himself, proof that the four of them were the crux of the doom descending upon Scara Brae.

“I have seen Cordeaux’s curse and the weight that it bears down onto Scara Brae,” William said finally, once more his own creature, “the falling sky is nothing but the physical manifestation of the people themselves.

“They, your citizens, are the true doom of Scara Brae,” William glanced over at the lines of destruction curling around Ulysses, “or its salvation. If they knew the truth, if they knew the power that they held over their homeland, Scara Brae would tear itself asunder.”

“That,” the revenant turned his gaze to the Prophet, and though his eyes no longer glowed like hot coals, they remained solid and piercing, “is why they can never know.”

[Duffy]

"It would appear," the Queen began, slowly rising and walking around the circumference of the council chamber, "that it is you who shall save their souls." She gestured to William, and with her other hand, she wiped away Ulysses, and the room, and all existence.

They stood, ten feet apart, in a sea of nothingness, an eternal blanket of white wherever one looked. The Queen sighed, knowing that the next part of her tribute to the dead was not the easiest of tasks, nor the most rewarding. Long ago, to end a war, her forefather had come to a bargain with the powerful sorcerer Cordeaux, in order to suppress the Innari Civil War and bring peace to the city.

"To save the city from the comet, one must take on the mantle, and as much, take on the curse of the Cordeaux line." She clicked her fingers, and a battered steel helmet with two white wings on either side wrought of steel and eagles plumes appeared in a scintillating sphere of light.

"The previous owner of this helmet died a martyr to save the people, and in a way, you must martyr something in an oath to do the same. You must absorb the power of the comet, and the curse, and bind it in your body and soul forever."

She willed it forwards and the power behind it flurried her dress and the delicate fur lining of her collar. Time had grated dearly on Valeena's visage, and she appeared many years older than she in fact was. if any knew her beyond the guarded visage of the matriarch of an island, one might find her weak, tired and world weary.

The helmet stopped a foot or so from William's torso, and levelled out upright as if it were begging to be taken. There was, if one were to look closely, still blood stains on the dent where the fatal blow had been struck and slain the captain of the guard at the end of an ancient rebellion.

"Take it, if you wish to carry this curse. You shall be staved from ever learning magical arts, but in return for this sacrifice, I will gift this helm, the Lindquist Crown to you. You shall be given the title of Captain Regent in the City Guard, and the provost of Knighthood in the Knights of Brae. The city shall be yours, to defend, or enjoy - the Swan Men of the long ships could do with a man like you to bolster their numbers and lead them fearlessly as you have done today."

The aura of white hummed for a few short moments, then grew brighter. Valeena waited patiently for William to make his choice, whilst all the while, the comet loomed closer, and the fires of it's corona descended across the city, to scour district and slum and province alike from existence.

[Revenant]

William stared at the plumed Lindquist Crown with mounting horror. Slow seconds dragged on into eternity while the revenant’s thoughts shifted from the crown, to the plummeting comet, to the ever present Tome of Kal’Necroth that hung in his pack. How long had he carried that ancient, runic bound book in the hopes of one day learning Kal’Necroth’s forbidden magic so that he could reverse what was done to him? How many hours had he caressed the symbols that filled those ancient pages, dreaming of regaining his lost humanity? And yet he stood here now, presented the option of willfully throwing that away as the only way to save the thousands of fear stricken innocents below.

Why should I care if they live or die? he raged at the thought of even contemplating such an act. Didn’t I just spend the morning ripping the lives from those very same people? The choice should have been an easy one for the revenant. The fiery fate of a nation at his fingetips should have thrilled and enthralled a creature born for the sole purpose of destruction. Yet things, as they often are, were more complicated than that.

William reached to slap the helm aside, to deny the Scarabrian queen her victory and to damn the fate of everyone and everything but found the demon within him surprisingly resistant.

What is this? he questioned, Why can’t I do it? But even as he questioned it, William knew that the demonic portion of himself would never willingly submit to anything that would further the goal of removing it, even if it meant saving a nation to do so.

Besides, he heard his inner voice coaxing, could your human self really live with knowing that you let all of these people die so horribly? The simple question shocked him like a downpour of icy water, shaking him to his very core.

“No,” William whispered, again reaching for the helm, “no I couldn’t.” The battered metal felt cool and smooth against the revenant’s fingertips. Slowly, ever so slowly, he brought the helm up, pausing for just an instant to stare at the weary queen.

“For Scara Brae,” he whispered, nodding, and then placed the helmet on his head.

Instantly, he could feel the presence of a thousand voices whirling inside his head, filling him with shouts of support and encouragement. Opposing them, starting at almost exactly at the same moment, was the dominating curse that which had been controlling him. The opposing sides clashed and screamed in his head, but William could feel Cordeaux’s curse losing ground, and in doing so being bound tightly to William’s soul.

Finally, once the last remnant of resistance was vanquished, the featureless void around William flashed brilliantly. For a moment, just the briefest of seconds, William was the previous owner of the Lindquist Crown, standing stoic and defiant as the only thing between Scara Brae’s salvation and its destruction. And then, just as the previous owner had, William felt the crashing blow upon the helm which had felled the brave Knight. And, just as the previous owner had, William fell into darkness.

[Duffy]

As William slumped to the ground, Valeena felt the strain drain from her temples and she sighed with visible relief that came only at the end of a long shift in the mines, or at the end of a tiring day caring for a hustle of children. The council chamber slowly returned to view, as if the fog of the arcane had been blown gently away by unseen mouths.

"Thank you," she said flatly, to William, despite his inability to hear her praise. She stared at his body for a moment as her aides returned to the chamber from their vantage point on the exterior of the tower and huddle around the table, hands tentatively on the backs of chairs as if seeking permission to reform the meeting.

She turned on a heel and clapped. They sat. Time turned in a curious way outside of the tower as the comet shattered and scattered it's shards across the multi-verse. The onlookers saw a fleeting glimpse of tomorrow, then found themselves, without suspicion, going about their duty as they had been two days earlier.

Refreshing, invigorating renewal washed over Scara Brae, and all except those who had stood in the tower forgot their troubles, the flames, the rioting, the murder, spite and misfortunes of the slums. Ulysses and the mages-guild and all those who had tried to make it to the tower in Valeena's game had proven ill-equipped, except one.

"We are to discuss, first and foremost, the transition of Captain William Arcus into the Knights of Brae." The head council clerk shuffled his papers and placed the relevant scroll before the Queen as she sat in her customary chair. "If prophecy is fulfilled so easily, we must see to it that he is rewarded for his sacrifice."

"Is the Crown not enough?" The Magister of Foreign Affairs questioned, but averted his attention elsewhere beneath the Queens' scowl.

"He has been given the reigns to the city, by all means, but there is much more we must offer him, in time. See to it that he is taken to the finest quarters in the palace until he awakens, and address any questions he has to the Prophet. With the lunacy of the comet ceased, his visions and clarity should return." She cast her imagination to the semi-naked man she knew to be lying on the balcony, staring up at the stars with baited breath and wonderment.

Two guards entered, and lifted William up in a fireman's carry and carried him into the depths of the palace. He would awaken in the finest silk sheets, white as snow and as expensive as the country it was brought in. The four poster bed traditionally reserved for visiting dignitaries was used for the newest of heroes in a city of heroines.

In the recesses of time, a goblin scowled, and raised his fist to the pools of ether before him as if to suggest he would be successful next time.

Valeena smiled at long last, and for the first time that day, she meant it. "Now that we have dealt with that threat, we must discuss the Dragon, and the earthquake..."

And life went on.

Spoils:

Revenant receives the titles and ranks of Captain of the City Guard, (one of the district leaders) and the rank of provost in the Knights of the Brae. He is entitled to receive training and missions and has access to either faction's generic resources. He may chose, at a time convenient to him, to add two faction points to whichever faction he becomes involved in (he may add to one but still work within both).

The Lindquist Crown: A steel helmet with side guards, nasal guard and winged vestiges on either side. It has been restored to it's previous polished shine and is almost angelic in appearance. It is a similar design to those worn by the Knights of Brae, only more archaic and detailed. It has the following abilities, use-able once per thread or battle each. Using such abilities must be purely for the benefit or salvation of Scara Brae citizens or in pursuit of service of the City Guard or Knights of Brae. If it is misused, there will be dire consequences.

• Aura of Command: May rally and order City Guard or Knights to his side and allegiance. In a battle situation, this may summon two ghostly city guard, equipped with iron weapons and armour, for one post, or one Knight of Brae equipped with steel plate mail and a sword and shield for the duration of one post. They are all considered average in swordplay.
  
• Light of the Lindquist: May sprout angelic wings to glide or descend as if avian at double walking speed; not usable in battle.
  
• Pulsar - Can emit a blast of light once per thread that eminates from the crown and extends in a 20 foot circle. Repels evil spirits, undead and daemons of a lower level than the wearer of the crown.

The Curse of the Goblin King - Revenant cannot cast spells of an arcane or sorceress or innate form so long as he has accepted the curse. If it is removed, or transferred to another willing object or person, he may revoke this inhibition.

[MetalDrago]

(Sorry for taking so long to get to this. I will not be providing any commentary for the drop outs, except for Ulysses, who made it almost to the very end. Besides that, I will be giving experience to all but two characters. Pavel has requested that Jotham not receive any experience, and Wohe only posted once.)

STORY ~

Continuity (4/10) ~ While I do have a general idea about what's going on in this thread, I don't know when or why. While not throwing in reasons for being here are fine, the actual history behind this "curse" seemed to be pegged on at the last second. While I'm not saying to go into detail throughout the thread with the history behind things like this, a bit more effort would have helped the reader understand exactly what was going on behind the scenes a little better.

Setting (6/10) ~ This is Duffy's best score, and Ulysses did really well in this as well. Revenant was good, and I liked the way you describe it when Revenant is ready to attack someone. There are some areas you can improve on, however, at least in this thread.

Pacing (4/10) ~ Honestly, a little self-explanatory. With all the shuffling, and people leaving the thread, the pacing was pretty much dead in the water about halfway through. You guys got a nice finish to the thread, though, so I didn't dock too bad.

CHARACTER ~

Dialogue (6/10) ~ The dialogue was fairly good in this thread, from both Duffy and Revenant. Ulysses as well was really good. Overall, I say good job. There are a few knicks and knacks you can improve upon, just practice, practice, practice.

Action (5/10) ~ Overall, this thread had a lot of action, but in the earlier posts, all it did was confuse me. Because of the separation of the characters all over the city, I didn't know where one fight ended and another began. Toward the end, there was less action, but it felt more real to me, so this is a mixed bag for me. Because it went from really muddled to really believable, I'm going to have to lean to the middle on this score.

Persona (7/10) ~ Best area by far, for the two who used their own characters, though Duffy got me into the mind of the Queen pretty well. I really felt like I got to know Ulysses and William in this thread. It was good, especially toward the end, to see how they worked in certain circumstances. I only turned it to a seven, because I didn't exactly understand why William turned against his feral tendencies and took on the curse to save a race he didn't even particularly like.

WRITING STYLE ~

Mechanics (6/10) ~ A few errors here and there, but nothing too standout as to detract from the overall thread.

Technique (5/10) ~ Some good uses of technique, but nothing extremely standout to me. While I don't look for anything in particular, it was just missing something that screams technique at me.

Clarity (3/10) ~ If you don't know why, I'll be happy to explain over IM.

Wild Card (4/10) ~ At first, I got a migraine every time I tried to read this thread, but toward the middle and the end, it got to where I actually started to enjoy myself, so overall, not really good, but not terrible.

Overall Score - 50

Duffy Bracken Receives 1450 EXP and 175 GP
Revenant Receives 1450 EXP and 175 GP
Ulysses Receives 650 EXP and 125 GP
Alister Receives 200 EXP and 50 GP

Spoils:

Revenant receives the titles and ranks of Captain of the City Guard, (one of the district leaders) and the rank of provost in the Knights of the Brae. He is entitled to receive training and missions and has access to either faction's generic resources. He may chose, at a time convenient to him, to add two faction points to whichever faction he becomes involved in (he may add to one but still work within both).

The Lindquist Crown: A steel helmet with side guards, nasal guard and winged vestiges on either side. It has been restored to it's previous polished shine and is almost angelic in appearance. It is a similar design to those worn by the Knights of Brae, only more archaic and detailed. It has the following abilities, use-able once per thread or battle each. Using such abilities must be purely for the benefit or salvation of Scara Brae citizens or in pursuit of service of the City Guard or Knights of Brae. If it is misused, there will be dire consequences.
Aura of Command: May rally and order City Guard or Knights to his side and allegiance. In a battle situation, this may summon two ghostly city guard, equipped with iron weapons and armour, for one post, or one Knight of Brae equipped with steel plate mail and a sword and shield for the duration of one post. They are all considered average in swordplay.
Light of the Lindquist: May sprout angelic wings to glide or descend as if avian at double walking speed; not usable in battle.
Pulsar - Can emit a blast of light once per thread that eminates from the crown and extends in a 20 foot circle. Repels evil spirits, undead and daemons of a lower level than the wearer of the crown.

The Curse of the Goblin King - Revenant cannot cast spells of an arcane or sorceress or innate form so long as he has accepted the curse. If it is removed, or transferred to another willing object or person, he may revoke this inhibition.

Spoils approved, pending Realm of Greeting review.

[Silence Sei]

Exp-GP added.

Duffy Leveled, congrats hoe bag.