Broken Alliegances

[Dissinger]

It had been hours later that Seth awoke, feeling the frail form on his chest. The poison was gone as he slowly lifted his head, amazed at how easy the action seemed as he saw brown hair cascading across his chest. Sarah had slept with him that night, for reasons he could only begin to fathom, and she had apparently worried herself sick. As he looked around he found his shirt and vest folded neatly on a chair nearby, with his gauntlets similarly placed. She had stripped his entire upper body for some reason, and as he brought a hand to his forehead he finally fathomed it, sweat doused it and caused him to sigh realizing he had possibly broken into a fever, and this was her way of countering it.

Shifting underneath her caused her to shift slightly as she gripped him tightly. Raising an eyebrow he though he spied an eye on him before he sighed and said, “Fine stay there for all I care…”

“I think I will,” Her voice replied tiredly as she curled up against him.

He groaned as she continued to use him as a personal pillow before he said, “You know, if you were going to strip me, might have wanted the pants, at least then I would know what you were after…”

Sarah giggled as she moved forward and in a surprise move kissed him deeply. The act caught him off guard before he found himself reacting remotely. She had been one of his many lovers, and if it hadn’t been for the incident in her past he would have possibly married her. Instead they had been separated, yet it was all there. The tenderness and the love, the actions almost robotically going off as he returned it full bodied and passionate.

Soon their lips parted as they looked at each other like two children. She then looked down and gently began to trace over a few scars on his chest. He closed his eyes as she finally fingered the prominent scar. The death mark given to him by Scara Brae, it was a constant form of annoyance, and something he wasn’t sure if he relished or loathed. She then traced a frail finger over it before she said, “I heard about this little mark, so, who did you kill?”

“A few guards, they were getting too physical for my tastes…” He said softly.

She nodded as she began to trace over the innumerable scars on his chest. Each one was only about a couple of inches in length, but varied widths. She then looked at him as he said softly, “Not something I’m willing to share yet.” Again she nodded as she looked deeply into his eyes. He saw the bit of hope that shined in those brown orbs as she merely looked into his. For a moment there was nothing else in the world but Sarah Brown, and yet Seth sighed as he laid back on the bed breaking the magic.

“You don’t like me? Is that it?” She whispered softly as she began to sit up moving off the bed.

A hand gently snaked around her waist as he hugged her from behind and whispered in her ear, “I do, gods know I do. I just, don’t think you’re ready for that yet…”

“So what? You can sleep with a Radasanthian Noble’s Daughter, you can sleep with some vampiric tramp, but you can’t sleep with the woman who you wanted to marry at one point in your life!?”

Seth remained silent at the accusation as he closed his eyes. He knew it was true, Mariah had been one of his lovers as had Sivienna. The list of women he had slept with to sate his carnal hunger were varied, but few. He had tried to remain as pure as he could, and yet here he was refusing the one person he would have done so without a second thought. A sigh of guilt left his lips as he whispered softly, “Where are they now? What have I done with them since?”

“How about Lornius, you could have easily asked for my brother, or hell, even asked for me. Instead you chose the Vampire,” She replied curtly.

He clenched his teeth at the mention of Lornius, it was the one mistake that refused to go away. Sighing she turned to face him before she took his hands and placed them on suggestive parts of her body, “I remember a time when you were loathe to have your hands leave these spots. When I would have to find new ways to keep you from going further than this, and now I have to try and seduce you to do the very things you would do freely?”

“I don’t want to hurt you Sarah,” He replied softly.

She then shoved him back on the bed as she roughly kissed him. Pulling back she whispered softly, “I’m tired of being the prim and proper Mother, tired of being the one who has to play it safe. I want to live Seth; can’t you just for one night make me feel like that?”

“You’re worked up because of the deaths of our brothers. You aren’t thinking straight Sarah; this isn’t something that you can just throw yourself into. Afterwards it’s awkward as hell and you feel dirty…”

“Seth, please. I don’t need the birds and the bees talk from you. You were so raring to have this body, and now when I try to give it to you, as an act of Love you deny me? I don’t believe that,” She said as she glared down at him. Seth looked up at her before he sighed as relaxed under her his hands falling from her body. Sarah then leaned down so her hair formed a curtain from the rest of the world, giving them a more intimate climate as she whispered softly, “Seth Dahlios, I know we can never be what we were, but for tonight, can’t we just see what it would have been like? I may have been broken, but you put me back together and I never thanked you. Let me thank you Seth…”

He sighed as she gently let her hair tease his chest. Closing his eyes he said softly, “I may not have the strength you need Sarah…”

“I don’t care anymore Seth; you gave up your happiness for me. You shut yourself off from the rest of the world, and from everyone you cared about for the chance to make me happy. You sacrificed your name to be the man I wanted…”

She kissed him deeply before she pulled back and he whispered softly, “What do you want?”

“I want to make you happy for once. To let you forget for a moment how fucked up our lives are, afterwards you know what we have to do, but right now I just want to remind you what love is like again, what true happiness is.”

“That’s not true happiness or Love though Sarah…”

Sarah smirked before she whispered, “Then I want to make you satisfied and until you are that, I am not going to let you leave this bed…”

[Dissinger]

It began slowly soft kisses and gentle caresses. Soon it became far more heated as Sarah simply overcame her fears. They took their time letting her adjust to each level of intimacy until it finally happened. Once it began it was like a bursting of the dam of emotions. Soon all their pent up love and emotions went into each other as they kissed passionately and wildly. It could be said that at that moment, the Lavinian Demon was sleeping, but it was obvious that was far from the truth.

After their heated session once again they were resting in the bed as Sarah sighed, her head resting on his chest as he gently stroked her hair. He closed his eyes as she moved and whispered in his ear, “Had I known it could be like that, I would have done this far sooner.”

He sighed as he said softly, “I don’t think I’ve been this open with someone in a long while…” She then giggled as she playfully patted his chest.

“I’m surprised that for someone so rusty you know what to do…”

He sighed as he said softly, “Lets just sleep, we have brothers to avenge tomorrow, and I promise that it will not end until I take William’s last breath from his body…”

She looked at him before she kissed him and whispered, “You are so focused on revenge, I swear, if it weren’t for me practically throwing myself upon you, you’d have crawled out of bed to gut that bastard…”

“I suppose you’re right, you certainly know how to make your patients stick around toe recover fully,” He whispered as she blushed. He then smirked as he whispered in her hear, “Don’t worry your secret is safe with me and Garret…”

Her head snapped to the door before she sighed, “Don’t scare me like that…”

Laughing Seth said softly, “You moan to wake the dead dearest, I have no doubt William knows what we did…”

Blushing she sighed as she said, “Doctor’s orders, shut your mouth and kiss me…”

Kissing her gently they held it for a bit before he pulled back and said, “Lets sleep, we have a long day ahead of us…”

Nodding Sarah said, “I’ll stay behind, I don’t want you to hold back because you’re afraid for me…”

Seth shook his head as he said softly, “No, I want you there, you have to avenge them as well. I’ll protect you Sarah…”

Looking into his eyes she nodded as she accepted his word as fact. In a few hours, they would fight, and the Radasanth guild would be destroyed, yet at what cost?

[Dissinger]

An anonymous tip to the Radasanth Guard had produced the desired effect. With the guard storming the sewers in force and capturing criminals it seemed that the Guild of Thieves would never recover form this blow. The guard had captured so many that few of the older veterans would be around to even teach the tricks of their trade. As they tried every way to escape it seemed nothing would work as they were caught by the guard, with the exception of one man.

William, the man who looked so remarkably like Seth, began his trek through the sewers before he finally managed to land out of the sewers. He grunted as he jumped form the sewer pipe only a few feet higher off the ground. With a dull thud he landed on the beach that lead out into an old outlet into the bay. He smirked seeing it as he muttered, “Well the filth is dead at least…”

As he sighed brushing himself off, he stopped when he heard a soft cough. Frowning he scanned the area before he came to a stop, three figures each wearing cloaks were before him, each brandishing similar daggers with one exception. The one in the middle was wielding a black and a normally colored one. Smirking he moved forward coolly, “It seemed my reputation precedes me. So then, Seth dearest cousin, what is you want from me? Is it a petty vengeance, a simple release, perhaps a quick death?”

“Your head on our guild’s wall as a warning…” Was the cold reply.

William laughed as he spoke, “Well then, let’s see how you stack up, I could swear that you weren’t all that you’re cracked up to be…”

With those words he rushed forward as the three cloaked figures moved about. The deadly dance began with a simplistic slash at one of them before he moved swiftly. Catching the cloaked figure off guard a kick lashed out and sent them back, before he checked the daggers, they were similarly colored and so he moved to the next, blocking the attacks.

A twirl of daggers as one of the figures stepped between the downed comrade before William sighed as he said, “Well then, if that’s the way its going to be, better keep up!”

With those words his movements began to blur leaving images in its wake as he slashed into the two standing figures. Finding the one armed like Seth would they began to dance as the other figure staid back. He countered expertly and parried each blow before returning despite the odd magic. This frustrated William to no end as he tried to overcome the obstacle. Each slash timely countered. Each parried turned into an offensive strike against William. He was truly annoyed as the fast reflexes and hawk like vision.

“Not bad Dahlios, not bad at all,” He said as the two cloaked figures watched in silence. One was studying, the other worrying. Once again the locked up and continued to clash. William getting frustrated finally sent a kick into the man’s chest, sending the figure flying. Standing over the downed form he smirked as he pulled back the hood with a gloating smile, “Well Seth, time to watch you die…”

“That’s all well and good, but I’m not Seth,” The man under the hood said. William looked deeply into the eyes of the victim. Garret smirked, his dark hair clenched in the man’s hand as he stabbed forward. It was only by pure luck the man dodged the attack before he growled lowly.

“Alright then, we’ll do this the old fashioned way…” He said. Moving swiftly he began to move faster the blurs not even able to fully dissipate before replaced. Finally Garret was overwhelmed before a stab into the gut hit him, and a shove sent him out of the fight.

Garret groaned clutching his chest as William forced him into a lying position with his boot. His face once again filled with a smirk as he sighed. With one less place for Dahlios to hide, he turned to look at the two other cloaked figures, still leaving an illusion of images he said, “Who’s next?”

[Dissinger]

The next figure bolted before the other. It was a shock on the first ones face as they reached out for the other. Still the man laughed as the pitifully novice attacks came at him. He blocked them all before he reached out and grabbed the girl by the throat and hoisted her up. Clutching at his hand her daggers dropped as William chuckled maliciously, “Little mouse…”

Seth pulled down his hood as he shouted out, “This is between you and me William, put her down!”

Another laugh escaped William as he said bitterly, “You cost me my guild Dahlios. Atop of this, you caused my sister so much pain. I would say it’s only fair I return the favor…”

Seth growled as he stepped forward. William still effortlessly held up the girl as he said, “Temper temper dearest cousin. You wouldn’t want to frighten me, when I get scared, things die…like little mice who don’t know how to keep their anger in check…”

“What do you want William?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I want you to suffer; the Kiss of Death wasn’t enough. You simply had to go and fight through it. Admirable but with this little whore, you were able to overcome death itself. That my friend is unforgivable.”

“You have me, fight it out like a man,” Seth shouted. Garret meanwhile groaned as he watched the scene unfold. William turned to face Seth before it happened, much too quickly for either man to comprehend the sound before it happened. A sickening Snap echoed through the air before Sarah’s lifeless body hung limply in his hand.

“Oops,” He said as with a casual toss it landed before Seth. William then laughed as Seth knelt down to check. He was like anyone in fresh grief, he just had to know, be certain of the knowledge he already had. He slapped her face and called her name, but nothing would reach her now, the woman who had gone through life tormented and bitter, who had finally chosen life, and had chosen to be with those she loved, was gone.

“Sarah!” Garret called out as Seth stayed hunched, his hair hiding his eyes as he looked at the body. Garret didn’t know what to do, he was wounded, but as he fought he pushed himself to rise and start to head over to Seth before William held up a hand.

“Stay back! Even dogs know when to stay down,” William barked. Garret was once again shoved off his feet and to the ground as Seth remained abysmally silent. William then turned as said coldly, “Oh don’t tell me you had feelings for the vapid whore? She got what was coming to her. Trying to prove she could best the grand dream. It’s our Legacy, written in our blood!”

Seth slowly stood, the hair still hiding his eyes as the winds began to shift. The effect was eerie to the casual observer as they saw a gauntleted hand tighten into a fist. William however was far from casual as he said, “Such a hypocrite. You claim to be human, yet here you are being nothing more than a beast. You rutted with the girl, and so now you want vengeance for her death? You think that will make the pain go away? You’re nothing but a puppet to these people Dahlios, and it’s sickening. You could be so much more! I don’t see why you hold back!”

The wind whipped around his cloak, pulling at it and revealing the sight of something foreign to the gauntlets. Steadily a red drip began to appear on his hand clenched in a fist. He continued to stand there silent as the blood dripped from his hand. William watched with a morbid curiosity before he said, “Such the foolish cliché, what are you going to do glare me to death? I don’t doubt you’ll just be another broken man that I take back so my sister can finally complete her task. I hope you don’t expect to survive my sister, because if you do it’ll shock even me!”

Garret saw something when Seth whipped his head up, a glint of malicious intent as the eyes of Seth Dahlios went cold. In the depths of his heart the Thief stood before the Mage, face to face they stared at each other. Both looked at each other for the longest time before both said as one, “Kill him…”

With those words the hand was brought up to his face as he held it palm up, the blood pooling in his hands as he said eight words, the most powerful spell he had taken, whole heartedly, “You’d be surprised what you could live through…”

William’s laughter stopped when he heard the words and watched in horror. Energy began to crackle from the blood as it shot out. It arced over his arms, down his chest and over his body as he could feel the spell coming forth. The energy played with his wild hair as it came and finally, the orb began to form. It was a ball of pure crimson energy. The crimson globe formed by the purest form of hatred and malice he had done it again, and embraced his heritage.

“Dahlios, you don’t even know what that will do. You can’t be certain of the effects. I wouldn’t use it if I were you!” William said slowly backing up. Garret watched in silence as he saw his best friend move menacingly forward his arm dropping and the red orb still clutched within it. As William tried to turn to run he made his mistake, and the predator struck with a vicious efficiency.

“Oh but I do, enjoy your seven Deaths, that’s not nearly enough, but it’ll do!” He shouted as he spun and threw the orb with precise aim.

[Dissinger]

The orb washed over William and he found himself tied to a stake. Pondering what in the hell was going on he watched as a torch was brought to the stake, and slowly lowered to the brown wood. As the flames began to rise higher and higher he shook his head.

“No, this isn’t real it can’t be I was fighting Seth!”

In a flash he suddenly felt the rough texture of burlap against his face, and the coil of rope around his neck. He kept trying to look around before he heard the words, “Executioner, commence execution!”

Soon he felt the ground out form under him give as he fell, the rope began to bite into his neck. Feeling the life slowly choke out of him he tried to remember what he had been doing, the animalistic fear overcoming his sensibilities. Soon however he shouted out, “I was fighting Seth!”

Another flash, this time he was in the middle of the ocean, and he was tired. As he dipped under the water he fought to rise up again and broke the surface gasping, the illusion hard to fight against. He remembered the beach the sand underneath, but he was so far from it. As he looked out on the beach, he could see Seth and Garret slowly walking off, but he knew it was fake. It had to be, he was fighting Seth, not being thrown out to sea!

Now he was on the ground looking up at the sky. He felt a sigh of relief under he heard the sounds of horses. Looking around he could clearly see four horses, each with a rope tied to one of his limbs. Shaking his head he saw in a rather morbid fashion the riders waved at him before they began to ride off. He fought to pull them back only to feel the strain as they began to slowly pull him into four quarters. Stretching he felt his chest tighten before he groaned. He knew something was amiss. He couldn’t be dying like this; he was fighting someone wasn’t he? He couldn’t remember anymore before he felt the horses begin to strain as they continued to pull his clothes starting to rip as they gave a little to buy him some time.

Soon however he figured it out and shouted as best he could, “Stop with the illusions Seth I won’t stop fighting you just because you make me think I’m dying!”

He was a bit more comfortable now as he was tied to a chair. Slowly a figure walked around him, a gleaming knife in hand. He looked menacing as he moved swiftly and succinctly. Soon however William was left with nothing to wonder as the man slowly began to tear his shirt open. The knife gleamed once more in the air before he felt it puncture his skin and slowly slice him open. After the cut had been administers, the man’s hand began to reach for the cut before William shook his head, “Not falling for it Dahlios!”

Laying on the ground now he saw two heavy set men carrying large stones. They quickly placed them on a board that seemed to be resting on William’s chest before they walked off grabbing more stones. Each stone made it harder for William to breathe as he realized what was finally going on. He was experiencing a spell effect. The Hex Magi Seth Dahlios having hit him with one that made a person fight an illusion of death happening to him. As he realized this however the next illusion struck at his mind.

Once more he felt the rope on his hands as he tried to look around and figure out what the illusion of death he was to experience now was. Ashe looked around he seemed to be tied with his head against a barrel. Fighting to pull against his bonds he heard the sounds of something chopping before he felt a hand press onto the back of his shoulders. The feeling of something wet on his neck could be felt as he frowned trying to figure out what it was. The hand then roughly grabbed his head and moved it to the other side, where he came face to face with an Axe.

Trying desperately to find some way to dispute the illusion he was finding it hard to concentrate when the axe was picked up. He then heard a list of everything he did in life. Murders, incest, many other despicable and horrible accounts were tolled out. Before he heard the dreaded words, “Executioner, commence sentence!”

He hardly had time to think to call out before the axe came down.

[Dissinger]

A ship slowly made it way out of port. In its hold was precious cargo to two men aboard it. It wasn’t something that could be described in a tangible sense. It wasn’t the money or the items found after looting the Thief’s Guild. No, the cargo of that hold was seven coffins each with a name inscribed. The last one, the eighth coffin was more ornate, as befitted the person who resided in it.

Above deck under the stars a man stood his face out to sea as he watched the starry night. Many people were walking over the deck, but all knew better than to mess wih the man at the bow of the ship, as he watched the stars. In his hand he held a single item, a ring. The ring was a gift to the resident of the eighth coffin and as he felt the texture of the metal a tear slowly slid down his cheek.

What’s wrong Seth?

She was dead.

Besides I can’t stay cooped up in that guild forever. It would be shameful of me to waste the life you and Garret gave me.

And yet it was gone so quickly.

Come on Seth, be strong…

He couldn’t, the wind from his sails was gone. The reason for his happiness removed. Strength was not what he did to his cousin, who was later found with his head severed from his body an unexplainable black paint on his neck as if to draw a line across it. The body had been left where it was as the two men sought ot recover their fallen brothers…and sister.

You are so focused on revenge, I swear, if it weren’t for me practically throwing myself upon you, you’d have crawled out of bed to gut that bastard…

He had no doubt in his mind now. He had fallen so far in the span of a minute that he had wholeheartedly wanted his cousin William to not only die, but die a gruesome death. A death that would make him shudder in the afterlife.

I want to make you happy for once. To let you forget for a moment how fucked up our lives are, afterwards you know what we have to do, but right now I just want to remind you what love is like again, what true happiness is.

He closed his eyes as he leaned against the railing the tears falling freely. For a moment things had been right and he had forgotten his dead parents, his estranged love. He had forgotten the bitter taste of rejection when he had tried to help her. For one night, they had been that married couple he had always wanted. As he continued to cry quietly he felt the overwhelming grief of not just Sarah’s death, but the death of his parents, the death of his best friend Thomas, and the deaths of the other Lavinians. He saw many deaths, friends old and new and he couldn’t stand it as he broke down, falling to his knees.

“Dear gods why, WHY!?”

[INDK]

Well, I have to say, I’m a bit behind on Seth’s storyline. I get the impression a lot happened that I didn’t know about. That said, it seems like you are doing new things with him, and that’s good. He was not becoming stale earlier, but his adventures were bordering on formulaic. It’s one thing to get into a comfort zone, but you don’t want to get redundant because of it.

Total Score= 67.5

Introduction – 7 I would have liked some sense of context in your first post. Not knowing who the speakers were or getting any sense of what was going on really turned me off. If you could have even offered a vague setting it would have helped this a little bit. However, you did a great job of introducing the basic plot with a good deal of brevity. The second post makes things a whole lot better.

Setting – 5 Interesting premise, and you worked in your obligatory references to Lavinya. Still, nothing all that substantial.

Strategy – 6 I like the way Seth’s strategy is tied in symbolically with character.

Dialogue – 8 The spoken dialogue really felt more normal than most of your writing did. The Seth-Sarah stuff was the best.

Character – 6 I do think this could have potentially been a bit stronger, but you know who Seth is, what he does, and have a vivid past history. I needed more development here, especially since this was a solo quest.

Rising Action – 7 Great buildup around the climax, but pedestrian in other areas. This could have been paced a bit better in the early goings, but the problem was you didn’t do a particularly great job moving between the subplots you had created. An elaborate storyline is good, but you have to work better on weaving the parts together. There were also a few points of gratuitous dialogue.

Climax – 8.5 Easily the best part of the thread. It was one of the few parts where all the subplots came together.

Conclusion – 6 It seemed like you intended this conclusion to be abrupt. However, it needed to close a bit better if you were going to do that. The last line wasn’t particularly strong. Still, you did tie in a lot of the meaning well before the sudden end, and that can be difficult to do. I’m giving you a bit better than average points for trying something and almost pulling it off brilliantly. Had you just managed to put this together, you would have easily had an 8 or higher.

Writing Style – 7 You’ve improved a bit if memory serves. However, you occasionally do have typos and things like that

Wild Card – 7 All in all, this was some good work out of you. I like that you’re challenging yourself again with your storylines

Spoils=

Dissinger gains 1200 EXP
Dissinger gains Seven Deaths – Once per thread upon saying the words “You’ll be surprised what you can live through” a ball of crimson red energy will form in the hex mage’s hands. The orb when thrown will travel at the speed of an arrow with any added force of the caster’s throwing. The result is an illusion picked at random to simulate one of Seven Deaths; Burning, Hanging, Drowning, Beheading, Quartering, Disembowelment, and Pressing. The illusion is up to the victim’s discretion and often takes on the form of their greatest fear of dying. Should they not be able to see through the illusion then the spell will kill them, making their body react as if it had been put through the illusion, making it real. However, should they force off the illusion of death they are merely disoriented a post as they must fight off their body almost thinking it was dead.

[Thoracis]

Rewards Added!