One on One the way it was ment to be (closed to all except Baxter)

[Abraxos]

Abraxos was confused how the man had chosen to block the knee sweep rather then the dagger flying for his chest. As the man talked to himself arguing over what he should or shouldn’t do. Abraxos’s confusion was soon broke as the man came flying at him.

Okay didn’t see this coming, Abraxos thought to himself.

Abraxos braced his bo staff between the two of them. As the man was close enough Abraxos set his staff to block both of his arms at the forearms to keep him from striking Abraxos. As the man hit the staff Abraxos rolled onto his back fast enough to take no impact from the man but as his back hit the ground with the man flying over him he lashed out with his foot aiming for the groin attempting to throw the man over the top of himself.

[Symbiosis]

Baxter could hear the wind howl in his ears as he soared like a bird in the air. The feeling of the jump sent chills down his side like he was free falling sideways and he closed his eyes in terror as he soared towards the foe, bracing himself for impact.

However there was no impact. The quick witted opponent landed on his back and Baxter could feel a boot upon his hip. His flight met with turbulence and like a poorly crafted paper airplane he flipped and crashed with a loud wail of frustration and pain. Baxter felt the dirt upon his back scrape his skin away, a stinging sensation lighting his sensitive nerves on fire. The demon growled in a predatory manner, anger emanating from the hulking frame.

"Boy that stings," Baxter whispered. The demon let out a loud shriek.

"Shut up! Stop your crying and and your whining and charge!"

"No!" Baxter replied hotly. "He's just better than us. Clearly we are outmatched by his skill! It's as if everything we are doing is just being countered and pushed against us! We can't keep on like this!" Baxter looked to the exit where the sun was and longed to be in the light.

"I'll not let you just give up because things got hairy. You need to learn to trust me in these things and just do as I say," Symbiote said with venom. "Now charge the rabbit and don't let him get behind you."

"Why?" Baxter asked as he clumsily started rushing forwards in the narrow cavern hallway. "He'll just retreat or hide again! I think you're just losing your cool because you're losing."

Symbiote allowed himself a small chuckle before he replied. "You really think that shit, huh? Have you ever thought that maybe your best interest is in mine?" Baxter remained quiet. "If we don't find a way to beat him I'm out a body." Baxter's eyes slowly widened as he thought about the implied train of thought.

With renewed vigor he tucked his head and charged, making sure to keep his wide arms out to prevent the opponent from escaping.

[Abraxos]

Abraxos stood right in front of the man as he charged looking like a fool with his arms spread wide like a child pretending to be a bird. Abraxos jumped straight backwards against the wall of the cave.

Abraxos braced his staff against the wall of the cave and thought to himself, Is this guy just a fool or is he crazy enough to believe he can take on someone like me? Maybe I should take pity on him and beat him without killing him.

With that thought Abraxos aimed the tip of his staff for the mans throat as he charged blindly at Abraxos figuring that would put him on the ground and out of the fight right quick and in a hurry.

Abraxos almost smiled to himself as he watched the man approach the end of his staff without him ever knowing it was there.

[Symbiosis]

The two raced forwards at the opponent, Baxter howling in fear as he tried to follow the instructions he was told. It was all so new to him, to be in this type of combat, to be in a room where death was the only victor and chaos the supreme overlord. The demon, who knew combat well from his centuries of life, angrily shouted commands and attempted to aid the Salvarian native, but in the end it meant little.

The man was just too inexperienced to participate in this battle. He was rushing forwards like an insolent dolt, arms flailing to the side like a chick learning it could not fly. The whole scene would had been funny, if not so embarrassing.

The body of the demon fused human impacted against the staff, the bulk moving with such momentum that he could not hope to shunt the damage aside. With windpipe crushed and energy fast leaving him, Baxter let out a garbled plea for mercy. The demon felt the hatred within his veins swirl as he debated what to do. The plan was originally to try and force his foe I to the sunlight, as it seemed he could not do any of his tricks in the light, but what was really the purpose of pumping more and more adrenaline into the pen write? Baxter could not defeat this agent of chaos anymore than a fly could topple a mountain.

With a frustrated sigh the demon retracted its power from the Salvarian native, cutting off the pulsing mutations and letting the energy leave freely. The clear coat of demon skin slid off like water in a shower, the jaws slowly retracting in length. Baxter's eyes shut peacefully as he passed out and the demon waited as slowly the man's arms and chest receded.

"Poor Binky Boy's all tuckered out," Symbiote chuckled. There was a pause in the air as he pondered what to do next, and decided to address his foe.

"My name," The demon muttered to their assailant. "Is not important. You have defeated us, now take your victory in any manner you deem fit." Symbiote swirled within Baxter's chest gently before perching, like a cat upon a sleeping master. When Baxter would wake he would deal with him then, but for now the man had earned a small respite.

[Abraxos]

Abraxos felt the solid impact of his staff into the mans throat. It jarred his body slightly sending a slight twinge down his back to which had been knocked down on. The garbled noises that came from the mans now crushed wind pipe made no sense other then perhaps that of his body trying to survive.

As the man landed on the ground next to Abraxos he clearly heard the voice speaking from the center of the mans chest. The words spoken were true. The man was unconscious and clearly defeated. There was no need to hurt him further.

Abraxos walked over and picked him his fallen knife wiped it off on the mans clothing and walked out of the cave, across the meadow and to the golden gates where an attendant monk stood.

“My back is hurt a bit but I’ll let it heal on its own. The guy is down in the cave and he’s hurt pretty bad but I left him breathing, barely,” Abraxos said to the monk.

“Oh quick before I forget,” Abraxos said to the monk “Do you have an ink quill and paper?”

“Yes here you go,” The monk handed over a small sheet of paper and an ink quill.

Abraxos scribbled a quick note that read, If you want a few lessons on how to fight for real seek me out. My name is Abraxos. The monks will know how to find me.

"Give this to him for me when he wakes if you would," Abraxos asked and handed the note to the monk.

The monk bowed and walked to the mouth of the cave.

Abraxos left through the golden gates rotating his shoulder trying to work out the stiffness in his back.

(OOC: If you want to post a reply feel free to do so otherwise you can submit the thread for judgement.)

[The International]

Review of One on One
I’m going to make this a quick judgment given the two of you have had to wait so long, but I’ll focus on the critical points. I think it would be useful to tell the both of you that this site is more so a writing workshop than a game. The average post in most other RP sites is much shorter than the average post here.

Story: Symbiosis 6/10 – Abraxos 5/10 – While in a battle one can argue that the two player characters share the same story, this category focuses on who develops that story the best. I’m handing this one to Symbiosis. He gave me more detail, more escalation of emotion, clearer description.

Strategy: Symbiosis 5/10 – Abraxos 5/10 – I believe the both of you have a lot of room to improve on this category. Show and don’t tell. Give yourselves more time and put some more descriptive and emotional value to your characters’ actions.

Setting Symbiosis 6/10 – Abraxos 4.5/10 – More… I need much much more even in a battle. The majority of fiction principles advocate filtering everything through your main character to give it significance. If that is the case, make more of the setting important to your characters.

Continuity: Symbiosis 5/10 – Abraxos 5/10 – When it comes to continuity the main concern is How does this story fit into the world of Althanas, and did I properly convey it to the reader? There was very little connection to the rest of Althanas as there was more focus on the characters. You can do both.

Interaction: Symbiosis 7/10 – Abraxos 5/10 – Abraxos, we need more description from you. Symbiosis, good job doing the best you could with what you were given.

Character: Symbiosis 7/10 – Abraxos 5/10 – Symbiosis gave me emotion, facial expressions, opinions, personal strengths and weaknesses. Abraxos gave me a few quick pieces of internal and external dialogue.

Creativity: Symbiosis 6/10 – Abraxos 5/10 – This category covers the use of literary and rhetorical devices like similes, metaphors, themes, and more. This was a very simplistic thread with simplistic devices if there were any.

Mechanics: Symbiosis 7/10 – Abraxos 6/10 – There were run-ons and places where commas should have been Abraxos. Both of you make sure your syntax (the composition of a sentence) is on point by getting one another to read each others’ posts.

Clarity: Symbiosis 7/10 – Abraxos 6/10 – The mistakes mentioned in mechanics take away from your clarity score, but for the most part it wasn’t bad. However a large chunk of this could be improved upon by adding more content.

Wildcard: 5/10
The both of you have a lot of wiggle room when it comes to the average length per post. Take advantage of it and you’ll see ALL of your categories rise.

Total: Symbiosis 61 – Abraxos 51.5

Symbiosis gains 510 exp
Abraxos gains 160 exp