Round 1: Solomon Vs Zerith

[Zerith]

Solomon had somehow grabbed onto Amenzanil like it was just a harmless stick and tossed it away like it was trash. As he watched the action, Zerith couldn’t help but feel like a solid punch had slammed into his stomach. He was sure it would have worked and to see what he thought was a brilliant idea was a painful pill to swallow, especially when it had required so much confrontation to maintain control of the halberd as it moved about.

Yet the monk must have forgotten that Zerith was a adult and not a mere child. So even as Amenzanil disappeared when it was tossed overboard, the halberdier was smart enough to know that the weapon was still there and didn’t just cease to exist. It was more out of fear than anything else when he put all of his concentration to heft his beloved polearm back up into his field of vision and over the railing before dropping it onto the deck. He just couldn’t risk losing the item in the waves. Not when the Serenti beckoned and after he had owned it for so long.

Who would have thought that his attachment to his weapon would lead to his defeat?

With all of his concentration being aimed on his halberd, there was no way the prince could defend himself from the fighter’s assault. In fact, the moment Zerith had successfully dropped his trophy onto the ferry gave him was just before Solomon’s fist collided into his chest. So the fist hit its intended target perfectly. The raised knuckle crashing into the chainmail covering the Ixian Knight’s sternum with all the force it carried behind it. It was a devastating blow, one that made next few seconds in Zerith’s world happy in slow motion.

Although he wasn’t sure, the warder would soon swear to his friends that he was able to feel his sternum crack under the pressure that slammed into it. At the same moment the air in his lungs disappeared and he could barely feel the hilt of his sword slip from his grasp when he dropped it to the deck. The prince feel to his knees shortly afterwards, hand clutched to his chest as he struggled not only to breath but to figure out just what had happened to him. He could hear the crowd gasp in surprise, followed by the sound of footsteps of someone rushing to get closer to him. Suddenly he started to shiver and finally felt cold as the rain soaked his clothing and dripped from his face onto the deck beneath him.

“Hey, asshole!” Jensen bellowed as he ran to his friends aid. His trenchcoat whipped around through the wind and rain violently. The immortal slid to a stop between the two men, using his body as a shield against any further wrath from the monk. “Your bosses said the fight was over. Though if you want to continue to act like a hormonal bull with a raging hardon, I’ll gladly kick your ass for free.”

“Jensen...don’t bother,” Zerith gasped as he tugged on his friend’s coat in order to get his attention.

“Fuck that, Z! If the guy wants be a prick that can’t listen to direction, I say he should get the shit kicked out of him,” Jensen added as he bounced on his feet, eager to get a demonstration of his own started.

“No... just...help me...out of here.”

Although he was reluctant to act, the immortal did eventually turned his back to Solomon after he can given him one of his dirty glares that he usually saved for Cassandra Remi. He picked up Zerith’s sword first and then managed to help the Zerith himself to his feet. The prince had to wrap his only usable arm around Jensen’s shoulder for support, and even then he still wheezed loudly. “Come on folks, show some respect for this guy! He put his body on the line to show you that those guys there were trying to sell you some dirty tricks and cheap shit! My friend here is a real man,” Jensen announced before he turned to look at Solomon one last time. “One of the few rare ones.”

“Cut...the bullshit...and get...my halberd,” Zerith struggled to say. He even laughed at first, but the pain that filled his chest in response to it made him wince.

“Whatever you want, Z. Just hang on a bit and we’ll get you looked at.”

“I’m sorry...if you lost...your mon-.”

“Dude, I don’t give a shit about a few coins.” Jensen injected as he helped the halberdier limp over to where his polearm rested. Once Jensen had managed to pick it up for Zerith, the halberdier immediately let go of the immortal and began to use Amenzanil as a makeshift crutch. “Besides, you should have seen the show you put on. The most important thing is that you’re alright.”

“Thanks...Jensen.”

“Nothing of it, Z” Jensen replied as he scratched the back of his head as he tried to find the best words to follow up with. “But if you insist on paying me back for any money lost, you know you could always just give me a share of any winnings you get at the Serenti. I think thirty percent sounds fair. You know, after figuring out interest and stuff,” he joked.

“You’re still...a dick,” Zerith laughed, causing him to wince again. Together with his friend, the halberdier left both Solomon and the demonstration behind him. He didn’t care if he won or lost anymore now he had made a point and showed everyone there what he was capable of. The only thing that matter to him now was getting to the Serenti and actually competing. The only difference now was that he finally felt ready for it.

[Solomon]

There had been a moment it felt as though the sun was beaming down on him despite the doom and gloom of the surroundings. He kept it resonating in his thoughts now that he was facing off with Zerith’s vehement host, Jensen, in what was less than an inch from becoming a new confrontation. In the instant he passed into the sentinel’s reach and realized the sword would be too late to stop him the victory bells within him rang. His blow crushed its target and brought the end of their challenge. He had beaten the Xian Knight; he armored his glare, brows still twitching, as Jensen’s lips redoubled their barrage.

Coming to his own Zerith managed to convince the brute that he, Solomon, wasn’t worth it. The rain matting his hair, stinging in the slash on his abdomen, he stayed a statue as his beaten adversary was helped through the remainder of the lollygaggers; a final jeer from Zerith’s protector as he was carried away for good.

I built that house when I was sixteen…

Solomon’s eyes twitched. Rainwater trickled its way down to his chin.

I was alone in the wilderness… I was dying, but I built a house. I should have died… but I BUILT THAT…

Watching Zerith carried off by his friend Reid and Erik cut into his line of view. After realizing his mobility was impaired they eased their ushering and lead him towards the Captain’s Mess, closing him off to the cold west wind and the memory of what had only just transpired.

“You went too far, mate. Ya should’ve stuck it to the script! None of that flashy magicks!”

“It wasn’t magic… it’s called-”

“It doesn’t matter Solomon,” Reid interjected, removing a long bandage from his bag and applying it to Solomon’s abdomen. “You went too far! Whatever it was, you almost kicked the floor out of the ferry! The captain had to put a lockdown on half of the lower decks. You almost killed somebody!”

“There’s charges gonna be pressed now!” Erik’s glare was hard. “Captain’s gonna bust in here any minute; if you can’t think up a good enough explanation ya gonna be looking forward to doing some hard labor ta make up for all this!”

His mind had drawn a blank. He feared he might have started to panic; he’d never gotten so aggressive during a fight that a bystander was hurt! What repercussions would there be? What sort of damage had he done? Yet as he sat there searching the grey faces of his supervisors a knock on the door disturbed them all.

“Captin’ knockin’ on his own door?” Erik muddled the though aloud.

“I’m afraid I’m not the captain,” the door opened on a slender man in a dark coat. “I’ve come on business of my own.”

The stranger closed himself in quickly as he came. Erik and Reid, mouths open to protest his presence were duly silenced by a raise of his hand; jeweled rings emanating in the misery of the Captain’s Mess.

“I represent an interested party.” The stranger began. “Have you heard of the Serenti Invitational?”

Reid and Erik exchanged glances. Solomon kept his eyes fixed on the newcomer, trying to ascertain the looming ambiance he had brought into the room with him.

“What’s the Serenti Invitational?” Solomon finally piped up.

“It is a challenge extended only to proven warriors; a competition of excellence amongst Althanas’ finest. I know you are waiting on Captain Issacs so I will be brief. The gentleman you defeated, Zerith Halberdier, he had been invited to participate. If I were to bring news of this defeat to the council, my staff and I may be able to have you compete in his place.”

“…this is all, it’s very tempting.” Reid stammered. “Why though? What’s in this for you?”

“We are sportsmen.” The drab stranger bowed his head. “We are looking for a surefire bet. Someone with Mr. Solomon’s fortitude and skill fit our specifications almost perfectly. It would be a chance for our company to increase revenues, and a chance for you to promote your intriguing new product.”

Reid and Erick continued their silent conversation, blooming eyes bouncing back and forth at one another. However, as the silence lingered in the room the stranger tipped his head once more.

“I can see you’d like to consider this further, no matter. I will meet you again once we make port.” The slender man gripped the door once again, sparing Solomon a long thin grin before departing. “I am very eager to hear what decision you’ve come to.”

The three remained quiet several moments after. As the impending presence the man had left began to fade from his mind Solomon spared a glance to the apothecaries, each of them with slender smiles of their own.

“He gives me a very, chilled, feeling.” Solomon said.

“Come’ on mate, don’t think like that. You need to get your rest!”

“Erik and I will talk to the Captain on your behalf. We’ll take care of this. Don’t you worry, okay?”

[Silence Sei]

Alrighty guys. A note to you, Solomon, your last post was made at 11:45 PM Central time, an hour and 45 minutes after the deadline, so I’m afraid that I can not count your last post in the rubric, but feel free to use it in your continuity.


Solomon/Zerith

Story 4/5: Solomon, as I said, your late conclusion made it to where I could not count it as part of this judgement. As such, your end of the fight was left with no conclusion. Other than that, most of the fight had all the essentials of a good story; A decent introduction (though it by no means gripped my attention), good rising action, good climax wwith Z taking that hit, and a nice conclusion by Zerith. While I wasn’t particularly wowed by any of the elements on their own, I did not see any transition from one area to another that would warrant a missed point (With the exception of that missed conclusion)

Continuity 5/5: You both did pretty average here, touching base on your characters continuity without ever really bogging us down with blocks of information. While that’s good for just your basic score, I would have liked to have seen more of your characters continuity fleshed out from the both of you. How did Solomon actually meet the Hyportine peddlers? Why was Zerith taking a boat when the IK base is in Concordia, and Serenti is just south of Concordia? Questions like this came into my mind but never got answered.

Setting 5/5: Both of you used your settings, albeit a bit sparingly. I would have liked to have seen more of a reaction out of the crowd during the barrel tumble from both of you. Zerith touched base by saying some of the sailors were rigging the barrels back up, but neither of you seemed to actually refer to whether or not a barrel or two toppled over, or how pissed the captain would be that some of his cargo busted on his deck? Hell, just saying that one bystander got hit by one of the barrels would have been enough for an extra point here.

Creativity 5/5: Solomon, using the barrels was a nice touch, but I felt using Eradication from Solomon’s position came off as a very Dragon Ball Z kind of move. If that is what you were going for, then great, but distancing ones self and using a big projectile attack isn’t a very original concept.

Zerith, you did everything I expected Z to do in his situations. There wasn’t anything drastically unique that I’ve seen out of Zerith, but you didn’t have anything just pulled out of your butt for the sake of being creative. Both of you should try to think of some things your characters might do that could take the audience by surprise. If Solomon had used Eradication up close on Z, for example, or if Z would have decided to stop the fight for a moment in order to protect the civilians from any dangerously straying barrels. Simple things like that could change the entire course of a threads scoring.

Character 6/5: You both stayed true to your character, but Solomon’s motivation of allying with swindlers just to pay his mortgage was something new brought to the table. I’m always hearing that the motivation behind fights (Particularly tournament fights) is money, but I never see why the character needs the money. Giving Solomon the reason of trying to keep his home was a nice touch, and it managed to get you the extra point.

Interaction 5/5: I saw several missed opportunities here to interact with things that weren’t of your creative minds. By simply PMing one another and collaborating with some bunnying, this fight could have been absolutely amazing. Instead, it seemed like Zerith and Solomon were the only two people on the ship most of the time, with the occasional comment from the salesmen about Hyportine. I would have liked to have seen Solomon actually use that rope like a whip, like the thought process you had wrote for him, but never followed through on. Z, something as simple as Jensen making his off hand, Rated R comments all during the fight could have helped you as well.

Strategy 5/6: Z taking the hit, as well as the stabbing attempt with his halberd, managed to get him an extra point here. Sol, I just could not buy the grabbing of a weapon flying straight at your character, and then tossing it aside as if it were nothing. Other than that misstep, everything was pretty sound strategy-wise, though.

Mechanics 3/3: I found mistakes in each of your posts during this match. Things like no spaces in between words (Z’s conclusion, for example), to writing ‘know’ when you meant ‘now’, to not typing entire words (Solomon’s first post). A good hint I’ve been giving everybody during this tournament is to type out your post, read it out loud, run it through a spell/grammar checker, read it again, post it, and then read it a third time out loud for good measure. It’s time consuming, but your mechanics score will thank you for it.

Clarity 7/7: Aside from misspellings that caused me to re-read entire paragraphs to try and make sense of one sentence, everything came off pretty clear to me. Just try to watch those mechanics, because they can directly effect your clarity.

Wildcard 5/5: It was a pretty average thread, and I enjoyed reading it. Would I read it again? Maybe, but there have been other fights during this tournament that have held my attention better.

Final Score:

Solomon: 50
Zerith: 51

Solomon gets 450 Exp, 200 GP

Zerith gets 1800 Exp, 100 GP

Zerith Advances to Round 2!

[Silence Sei]

Exp/GP Added. Welcome to level 4 both of you.