Secret Arkanos. (Closed)

[Archanex Jotham]

(Short post. The speaker is the Rendarii, it's talking to both Starr and Archanex)

Yes Indeed.

The Dark is my aether. My storm. My nest. I reside within The Dark, an ancient champion of it's secrets. Your world knows me as Rendarii, and that will suffice. Your kaleen will train the one from the stars, and teach him the secrets as he will teach you more secrets. It will be glorious. And the tribes shall unite under a single banner.

Listen to me well, Starr. Release the power stored within the Rendarii, and strike against the heart of The Hedge Maqi.

Free Archanex Jotham.

Free the world.

The voice would resound in the mind over and over...

***

Archanex felt lost in the world he suddenly found himself in. It was dark, but he was not alone in the dark. There was an ancient presence that called out from beyond the veil of the world of men. Archanex, with all of his sagely wisdom, immediately knew what it was. The dangerous Rendarii talisman contained a secret so powerful and ancient, that it would shake the very house of The Thayne that many Althanians worshiped. Archanex shivered at that presence in the dark. It called for him, singing in the tongue of the Rendarii. Somehow, Archanex knew this tongue from his dreams. As a dark script, the syntax was all too familiar to him. His mind translated the words that were spoken from the dark, and he dared not repeat them in his head. All he knew was the betrayal that Lindra had enacted upon him. Archanex was trapped under the power of Necromancy, his mind immediately recognized that fact when he could not control his body.

As he struggled in the dark, he felt isolated and cut off from the outside world.

Immediately, the first reaction was despair. As he thrashed about in the dark, he slowly began to realize that he was pretty fucked. Since he had no command of his physical body, he had no idea how to move. The key, however, was that voice in the dark. At first, Archanex ignored the voice. When time passed ever forward, he found himself overwhelmed by the voice. The choir was repeated in his head over and over, and he knew that the Rendarii was furious. It was not of this world. Rather, the Rendarii was an ancient race of world destroyers that heralded from Archanex's distant star. Star. Starr. It was all relative. The Rendarii needed a powerful soul to enter the world of the Firmanent. It needed a sacrifice, as it's servants were hungry for more destruction. Archanex attempted to block out the voice with his feeble skill level, but soon realized he could not. He needed help. Dark help was better than no help.

And so, Archanex found himself falling to the clutches of the Rendarii...

[Starr Redmaw]

Starr, not quite as intelligent as a Hedge Magi, but certainly not entirely dim, interpreted the strange riddle in his mind the only way a rampaging goblin knew how. He advance up to Lindra, side stepped around a flaming cone of red, orange, and gold licks of fire and swung his staff, as hard as his small frame could, up at her skull.

Crack.

She stumbled backwards and dropped Archanex’s soul and body like a deadweight. In her vanity, and her pride, she cowed her face with her hood, as if she was scared the bestial creature before her would find her any more unattractive than he already did. Starr cocked his head, twitched his ears, and took to a wide legged stance with his staff held horizontally over his scrawny chest in defiance.

“These are our lands!” he proclaimed. “This is our home!” he cajoled. “This is our time!” he finished his lack lustre speech by leaping forwards to swing at Lindra a second time. A quicksilver flash of light ran down the staff, a skein of tomorrow cracking wood and bone fetish alike.

The crash of thunder, lick of blue flame and swirling lights that danced over the crags of the Arask plains drowned out the clash of wood against a swiftly drawn athame. Starr glared at the woman’s long, black handled, and dehlar blade. He recognised its metal from the great deposits the Innari worshipped, deep, deep down in the Windlacer Peaks. He snarled, his blackened teeth dripping with bile and contempt. He did not know what strength he had found, or if it was his strength at all, but he pushed up against the weapon and knocked her back once more.

“You pathetic creature,” she snapped, twirling the sacred and ritualistic weapon in a flourish before tucking it under the bone fetish tip of Starr’s stave. It was aimed at the silver chain of the Rendarii Talisman, a greater prize to claim than yet another futile life of a savage. “This is ours, you can keep yo-”.

The force of a hurricane rose from the amulet’s polished, silver setting, and struck the Hedge Magi square in the face. Starr, pushed back flat onto his back with similar gusto heard hear jaw snap inwards at the same time as the back of his skull imploded against a granite protrusion. A sensation not all that dissimilar to vomiting struck the goblin. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he groaned.

Good…the amulet whispered.

Several berserkers, blood soaked and cackling to the point their throats had forgotten what breath was circled Lindra. She squirmed, bloodied, winded, desperate, scrabbling in the reeds and the rubble of the incline of the crater she had created with her spells for her blade. She saw Starr rise through blurred vision.

The Rendarii reached out to Archanex, and with Starr’s blessing, it screamed to life the heart it required, the broken soul of a distant wanderer.

He ran forwards, invigorated by the grey swirls of ether that erupted from the necromancy core of the artefact he was, for some reason, fighting to protect with his life. Before Lindra could react, he brought his staff down and deflected her thrust, leapt past her, and cupped the amulet in his shaking hand. With the blood of his own injuries touching the singular gem on the face of the amulet, and his heart beating so loud in his chest it sounded like war drums, he smashed it downwards with a punch to the shattered corpse’s torso.

It did not occur to the Shaman of the Kaleen, that this was not quite what the talisman meant by strike against the heart of the Hedge Magi.

The thunder rolled, and the battle raged.

[Archanex Jotham]

For the first time since the whole ordeal began, Lindra was afraid. She began to fear for her life as she stood in place, injured by that dastardly goblin. A few moments passed and she suddenly realized that she no longer had control of the Overmage. Looking around in a panic, all of her companions were engaged against the kaleen warriors in a battle that was rapidly going south. Lindra suddenly heard the most terrifying sound of her life. A certain object was smashed against the physical body of the Overmage sending crystalline fragments everywhere, and a burst of energy and power. Her spider-web like control of the reanimated corpse was effectively gone. What have I done? She thought to herself as the power of the Rendarii talisman was suddenly released to play hell on the firmanent. The resounding explosion made her realize her own mortality and for a long moment, she actually considered abandoning her comrades. All eyes had shifted away from the central battle between Starr and Lindra, and she had received an opening to escape and fight another day. Thinking carefully about that option, she quickly discarded those thoughts. There was a mess that needed cleaning.

Lindra's eyes shot towards the Overmage as he began to float in the air, commanded by hands that were not her own. "Shit!" She yelled. "Fall back, all who are able." She called out loud, then repeated it again. "Fall back!" But it was too late.

Another of her apprentices fell in battle at the hand of the bastard kaleen's primitive swords. There was one left that she could account for, but he was beyond her reach. She turned his attention to Starr for a moment, and then to the Overmage who continued to flow as supernatural energy gathered about his person. What is happening!? She thought to herself as she looked at the Overmage. His massive amount of power swelled out, uncontrolled like a tsunami. Then, it receded back into his soul, stored in a safety deposit box. Lindra saw that the fatal injuries she had given him were now gone. What does this mean? Then, with a start, she realized that the Overmage was now looking at her.

***

"Stop!"

An unearthly voice commanded. It was speaking through the Overmage's voice box, and it addressed all those present on the battlefield. Both Kaleen and Hedge Magi alike.

For a moment, both blade and sorcery halted as all eyes turned towards the Overmage. He was staring in the general direction of both Starr, and Lindra. "This is not meant to be, this is not the way the balance is to be preserved." Archanex spoke through the Rendarii. He turned to Lindra. "Your superiors took the Talisman from the Goblin Horde long ago and the Kaleen simply took back what was there. If you will notice, no other objects were stolen from the Hedge Magi's stash. There were no casualties. Your superiors instigated this war." Archanex continued, images of past, present and future were burning in his head. Like a matrix swelling of information, the Overmage's mind expanded to everything the Rendarii star traveled told him. "Take your people and leave these boarders. For they represent a threat to the kaleen." Archanex had specifically called the Hedge Magi, Lindra's people, and no longer his own. Then Archanex turned towards Starr. "Call back your men, they have fought bravely this day." Archanex's nimbus cloud burned brightly around his body, almost blindingly. He looked at both Lindra and Starr, and there was a sort of peace on his face. "As of this day, I am free from the grasp of the Hedge Magi, and thus, free to write my own story." Archanex said. He walked over towards Starr and assisted the chieftain to stand. He looked at Lindra. "Tell your superiors what has happened here. Rendarii belongs to no one, but only who it chooses to be the host. By your foolish actions, Archanex is host." Archanex said carefully, his eyes glowing with a mysterious energy.

"But they are not your people!" Lindra suddenly called out. "They are naught but Savages!"

"The Kaleen..." Archanex said carefully in response. "Fight for their lands and to protect their own kind. That is not savageness. You fight for no cause and to steal things that belong to none." Archanex walked over to Lindra. "As a gesture of good will, I shall take your injuries from you so that you are not marred. But know this, I am done." Archanex continued. "Tell your superiors never return here without understanding they will be picking a fight with the kaleen, and many will perish." In an instant, the Rendarii had spoken through him and commanded an uneasy truce between hume and kaleen. Archanex stared at Lindra thoughtfully.

"I will withdraw." Lindra said. "But no this, you are an enemy of the Hedge Magi. Archanex Jotham. Betrayer." Lindra's injuries had been healed by the Rendarii's power and she gathered up what remained of her surviving apprentices. He followed her, limping away. Soon, they were gone.

When the Rendarii's power faded, Archanex was left in the fold. He fell down to one knee, exhausted. Turning towards Starr he looked at the Goblin's chieftain and wore an expression of understanding on his face. "You are very brave." Archanex said. "You fought well today, against a superior enemy. For that. I am grateful to have done my part in that matter." Archanex continued to speak. "I owe you something in return now, for freeing the Rendarii. I will teach you and the Kaleen matters. Matters of my people from the stars." Archanex said. "You will usher your people into a new age of prosperity and understanding of the outside world." Archanex pulled out a book. It was his personal grimoire, and a tome of great mystery and wonder. "This is my personal journal." Archanex said. "Starr. Kaleen. Gather around me, and let me tell you all a story. A story about a people from beyond the stars of Althanas..." Archanex then began to tell the Kaleen about the Overmages, and the star chariots.

To be continued.

Note: No spoils requested.

[Revenant]

Condensed Rubric requested.

Plot (17) – The first few posts took some time to build up exactly where the thread was going, but once you got into the swing of things it really picked up. Your descriptiveness really brought the flair of life to the thread, but it felt like there was a lot of background information that wasn’t mentioned. Finally, you built up to the climax of the story well but there ending left me wanting more in the wrong way. From what I read, there is a great story building up for your character with a lot of depth. While that shone through in places, a more even paced, detailed story using those elements would have really picked this up.

Character (20) – The anticipated buildup to the confrontation between the goblins and the magi was great, but the actual event was written almost entirely in the background. I feel that focusing as intently as you did on your main characters here actually worked to your detriment as it narrowed the focus so much that a large chunk of the action was taken completely out of the thread. Having said that, you both seem to have a very good grasp of your characters which made for a pleasant read.

Prose (17) – Archanex, you have a lot of very short, stunted sentences that don’t really flow well. This works as a statement of facts but gives no perspective to tie it all together and makes for halting reading. You’ve done well to keep your grammatical and spelling errors out of the main light, but there wasn’t enough of a flow to earn a higher score in this category.

Wildcard (5) – An interesting read which balanced the good with the bad nicely. Obviously, more good would be better, but I can already see good things blossoming for your character.

Total: 59

Archanex Jotham receives 730 exp and 110 gp.
Starr Redmaw receives 516 exp and 100 gp.

Spoils Requested:
Archanex – Nothing (granted)
Starr – 1x additional use of Conflagration/Channeling (Pending RoG approval)

[Letho]

EXP/GP added.