Round 1 Newcomer: Tobias Stalt Vs Wolf Oden Luka Frekad

[Wolf Oden Luka Frekad]

“Damn!! How could a lowly creature hurt someone like me. Guess I should have used my ace earlier,” I my thoughts echoed inside my head as I check my injuries. The merchant knew his stuff and was obviously aiming for my vital organs. The quick dodge had thankfully prevented a kidney strike but didn't do anything to stop the damn pain and bleeding. The withdrawing twist was a smart nasty move and compounded the injury.

The merchant was backing off but I made sure to keep an eye on him. “How dare those people not tell me this guy had assassin training? Well, I'll make sure to collect an extra fee especially if I lose,” I thought. “This was suppose to be an easy job...”

“Hmm, how should I proceed? This guy is obviously well trained and I'm missing my weapon. Not to mention, this wound will slow me down and needs to be treated sooner or later so I can't stand around forever,” I grimaced as the full extent of the pain started assaulting my mind.

“Guess I'll fetch my sword unless an opportunity shows for me to jump in. If he wants to beat me to my sword, he'll have to run and show his back,” I finally decided as I walked towards the sword making sure to keep my guard up against any possible attacks from the merchant.

[Tobias Stalt]

Tobias quirked an eyebrow as the wolf creature began to move for the blade he had relinquished moments before. Clearly, his opponent believed he would need the advantage of a true weapon rather than his natural gifts. The response within Tobias' chest was a tempered elation, the sort a child got when they were praised for their efforts. It did not last, though, and he began to stride forward toward Wolf as though he had lost his fear in light of the lycan's cowardice.

"You mean to tell me you're all big and wolf and claws, and you need a sword to fight me?" Not that Tobias could blame him; the thief had claimed first blood, and in an exchange of this kind that could be a deciding factor. Still, he needed to stay crawled beneath the man's skin in order to keep this tempo. He also needed to manage the distance between them- if Wolf got too far away, he could regroup just enough to turn the tide. Tobias was not about to allow that.

Spinning the dirk's handle expertly about his hand, Tobias adjusted his grip to the reverse and continued his predatory stalk forward. By this point, he had returned the distance to about four steps from either of them, and Wolf could easily turn about and make him regret it. But Tobias figured, if he wanted that sword, Wolf wouldn't be too horribly worried about spinning about to catch him off his guard.

If he were wrong, Tobias was poised to bury that dirk deeply in some other part of the monster's body.

He noticed the blood trail that came from the werewolf silently, eyes barely leaving the beast for more than a moment. The wound was bleeding. If he could manage it, it was possible to exert a wounded, bleeding foe into passing out from blood loss. It would be a feat, but a far more manageable one than taking Wolf's life in combat.

"You are welcome to concede, friend," Tobias offered in a crooning voice, lilting it with that calming, trustworthy mannerism that often took men's hearts. It was the one power he had that made him any sort of threat. With his opponent in this dangerous condition, the chance to get into his head would be more perfect than any other. "This is not something worth dying over. Cut your losses, and go back and make them pay for deceiving you."

His smile and words were genuine, which made them that much more believable. He stayed far enough away to give himself room to respond, should his glamour attempt fail.

[Wolf Oden Luka Frekad]

Limping slightly as I walked towards my sword, I noticed the merchant creeping closer. Obviously, the backstabbing assassin wasn't going to let this go without a fight. He was close, too close for comfort especially with the movements he had shown earlier. Should I make a dash for the sword and slaughter him? Or turn around and attempt to crush him right now? Either way, I needed to end this match soon so the monks heal me and assuming I won, figure out how to put Tobias's body back together.

Four steps between us... We were definitely in range of each other now. He seemed to be trying to talk pleasant about surrendering? I almost couldn't believe my ears. Yes, I was hurt fairly badly but I was under a contract, not to mention the arena staff would fix me up somehow through their magic. And to give up this chance to rip this lousy merchant to shreds? How else would I satisfy this overwhelming bloodlust that was now overpowering my mind. If I didn't rip off that merchant's smile, I would have to kill someone else, probably a lot of others.

“Well, it's time to show our hands... Let's get straight to the conclusion like the crowd seems to want,” I quickly decided as I sprung into action. This would be the deciding battle so I ignored my aching wounds and pushed my muscles to their max.

At just a few steps away, if the merchant wanted to attack, he would have to stick around long enough to take a nice slash from my claw. With my strength, I would think it should rip a good potion of his juicy soft belly out. My other arm would hopefully be able to stop his dirk arm or at least push it aside from the intended target since this guy seemed to know my vital points very well.

If he didn't want to fight, too bad! I would definitely love to see his back ripped apart.

Wrote this reply a bit quicker than usual so hopefully it's thought out well enough. I suppose we could go down together... Or maybe not. Feel free to contact me if you want to.

[Tobias Stalt]

Fair enough, Tobias grunted as his words fell onto his opponent's furry, deaf wolf ears. To fully evade a strike moving at abnormal speed was difficult. When it came, Tobias had already shifted his weight back on his heels. Leaning back out of the path as the claws raked across his chest, the "merchant" was left with a further shredded cloak and messy scratches deep into his leather armor. He had compounded the position of his body with his motion to affect a more fruitful evasion. Wolf seemed to have anticipated a head on strike, and that was a pretty direct and plausible approach. An approach Tobias would never consider, as he was not built to wrestle with a wolf.

No, Tobias was a lithe, fleet footed little wretch with an irritating knack for getting exactly where he needed to be. The attempt to glamour the beast had been about as effective as anticipated, but the words had played their part all the same. Wolf assumed Tobias did not want to fight, and so had rushed forward to capitalize.

Now fully committed to his strike and with Tobias shivering in anticipation behind him, Wolf would have to reap the consciences of his own vices. Or so it would be, if Tobias had anything to say about it. As the arm passed by him, Tobias twisted and stabbed downward toward the area between Wolf's neck and clavicle. "F... fucker, you almost got me!" Tobias cursed, uneasy about the damage that the wolf had done. The leather armor had taken the brunt of the damage, but the tips of the claws had raked through to skin. Now red was welling up that belonged to Tobias, and he did not enjoy the stinging that came when the wind brushed his open wounds, small though they were.

If he weren't so good at keeping his cool, Tobias would have begun stabbing repeatedly toward Wolf's back. He maintained control, , however, and kept his strikes precise. "When this is over, I'm going wolf hunting. Sick piece of trash." Tobias seethed, pummeled by a harsh wind littered with sand. The crowd was roaring again, only this time, it was due to the melee that had just erupted.

Finally, this was turning into a real fight. Blood had been let on both sides.

[Wolf Oden Luka Frekad]

“I'm totally going to rip off that annoying arm!!!” I thought as I tried to move out of the way of the incoming dirk, slash at the same time, and turn into a full wolf. Unfortunately, the twin goals of attacking while avoiding proved to be conflicting. By attempting to avoid out of the way, my slash wasn't able to rip deep into the merchant's flesh. It coated my claws with a small amount of crimson but didn't inflict the intended mortal wound. My dodge fared a bit better as I avoided the lethal strike although not completely as a small line of blood began to show on my arm.

As I got further into my wolf form, I could feel the blood leaking faster through my wounds as my heart rate increased. Additionally, all the pain, rage, and animal side started to fog my judgment allowing my instincts of wanting to tear, rip, slash, kill, slaughter this human to take over. Although I wasn't fully transformed after the dodge, I immediately charged at my foe to knock him down and open him up to a follow up attack with my claws and now canine fangs.

Sorry, having trouble thinking up a good reply... It seems rather short and not as well written to me but I'm out of ideas.

[Tobias Stalt]

Tobias felt his dagger slide through flesh, but ultimately not bury itself as deeply as hoped. When blood splattered back over him, the murderous merchant had a face like snow speckled red. The gleam in his gaze was bland, devoid of the hot blooded feeling that came with rage. The body of his victim further contorted, shying away from intended death.

Tobias let out a hiss of disdain. Now the target was more wolf than man, and without extreme caution this would go badly. The twist his opponent did was quicker than Tobias meager attempt to back off, but the small man was able to get his legs up underneath himself as the beast pounced.

Rolling beneath the vigorous monstrosity, Tobias kicked his legs upward toward Wolf's gut as he sailed over. Watching in terror as the canine extended his feral claws to rake at him, Tobias gathered his weight up under his shoulders, extending his weight back onto them. With some luck, Tobias hoped this would extend his body into an almost perpendicular position to the sand.

The kick served two purposes: the first would be to protect Tobias from taking a very brutal set of claws to the fact. The second intention Tobias had in doing this was to send the wolf flinging harmlessly over himself. He had never seen this done, but with something like this trying to overtake him the merchant had acted on instinct.

While doing this, Tobias kept his guard near his face, attempting to prevent the assailant from striking a lethal target or rendering him blind. His heart pumped now, terror beginning to shiver through his bones. This was the closest to death Tobias had ever been.

Unable to push words out through his adrenal response, Tobias hoped he would simply roll through, and Wolf would be sprawled on the floor. Blood from the wound on the murderer's stomach had slicked Tobias' clothes. The screams of the crowd had risen to their climax, but neither man seemed to pay them any mind.

Theirs was a world away from the Magus Cup now. Tobias and Wolf were gods of death, waging war on one another to vie for supremacy. The winner would walk out of this with glory, and the other would be left with nothing.

[Wolf Oden Luka Frekad]

“Just give up already!!! You stupid merchant have already caused way more trouble than the bounty was worth” is what I wanted to scream at the man. The blood dripping out of my body was starting to cause me to feel slightly light headed. Leaping to attack the merchant, I failed to notice his roll until too late. As I sailed over him, he struck out with a kick to my side destroying my gracefully flight.

Landing on my side, I growled with anger and pain. “How many tricks up his sleeve does this assassin have?” I thought as I climbed unsteadily to my feet. As quickly as I could manage, I dashed again at my foe although my advance was slowed slightly due to the blood lost and painful kick.

At this point, all rational reasoning had left me. All I cared was getting my revenge and ripping, slashing, and tearing this despicable creature to pieces. Where, it did not matter. Claw or teeth, either would do the job.

[Tobias Stalt]

The pain wrenching through his neck and shoulders as he extended his weight upward passed quickly as Tobias rolled through to his feet, remaining in the low crouched position and twisting to face Wolf. The beast had taken the impact shakily, but Tobias felt his own head ringing from the makeshift throw. That had probably not been the safest thing he had ever done.

On the brighter side, Tobias had prevented any sort of claw attack for the moment. Most of his blood remained inside of his body, save for the droplets that dribbled down his sliced leather armor. Reaching up with his right hand, Tobias smeared the werewolf blood on his face in an attempt to wipe it away, contorting his face in disgust at the putrid stink. He watched as the wolf beast recovered, then rose to dash in again.

Slightly rising, Tobias kept his feet level and timed the wolf's stride in his head. Noticing his opponent had become increasingly sluggish from the impact, the failed merchant put his weight on his toes and took a deep breath. Sand blasted his face again and irritated his eyes, but he did not look away. Brandishing the dirk in his left hand and narrowing his eyes as the predator closed, Tobias darted forward. They were on a crash course.

A mad roar took the crowd now, thunderous applause and the beating of feet against the floor to an inane beat drowning all else. Blood was the way of the world now, and blood would be shed. This was the end.

[Max Dirks]

This was easily the closest battle yet. I can see you both have T1 roots from the precision of your actions. Since this tournament is focused on newcomers, you'll be receiving full commentary. Once again, I'll be combining comments. TS refers to Tobias Stalt & WF is Wolf Oden Luka Frekad. Tobias, I saw at jedivsith that italics for action (prose) is a common. Here, not so much. I didn't dock any points for you doing this, but encourage you to flip it next round. Italics hurt my eyes on some of our darker themes.

	Tobias Stalt	Wolf Oden Luka Frekad	Notes
Story	5	5	I did appreciate your attempt to morph your battle into a story, but it felt incomplete. Why did the buyer want Tobias dead? How did the timid buyer (who had apparently had never negotiated with assassins before) manage to capture Tobias and place him in the tournament? Your incomplete battle left too many unanswered questions
Setting	5	5
Pacing	4	4	Your quick start eventually started to drag. At one point WF mentioned he had no idea what to post. It was equally apparent in his writing. This is one instance where action rather than run-ons ruined the pace of the battle.
Communication	5	5	WF: You had some redudancies between thoughts and prose.
Action	4	5	TS: Your character had a convenient escape or response to any action Wolf took. While this is typical of T1 where the goal is to out maneuver your opponent, all we are concerned about here is your writing. This doesn't mean take a hit, but keep pacing in mind when you prepare your next action. Your actions here essentially slowed the story to a point where it could no longer continue
Persona	5	4
Mechanics	5	5	Each of you had some minor spelling, grammar, usage and punctuation errors. WF: I am very impressed by your ability to maintain tense while using 1st person. Kudos.
Clarity	5	6	TS: Your early posts were wordy & chalk full of run-ons. For example, in post one you wrote "The feeling it cast over him sent his head spinning; only hours before, it felt like, he had been in the wastes of Salvar, nearing death." Assuming each comma is a break for the reader, your prose here sounds like William Shatner speaking. You could make it more clear by writing: "The feeling it cast over him sent his head spinning. It felt like only hours before he was nearing death in the wastes of Salvar." Interestingly enough, you got way better as the battle went on. WF: Sometimes it was unclear whether you were writing prose, thinking, or speaking due to your use of quotations. For example, “Just give up already!!! You stupid merchant have already caused way more trouble than the bounty was worth” is what I wanted to scream at the man." This could all be written in prose: "I wanted to scream at the man. The stupid merchant already caused way more trouble that the bounty was worth" or as thought: "'Just give up already!' I thought. This stupid merchant already caused way more trouble than the bounty was worth." However, combined it is confusing.
Technique	5	4	WF: You used what I call "active" battle technique, as in you responded to things actively as they were made in your own posts. While doing this, particularly with actions, is fine, I caution you about using it with dialogue. Repeating dialouge in your thread drags out the battle and breaks up any time of suspense or urgency you're trying to build. If you want your characters to talk, meet in the chat room or VIA instant messenger and bunny each other's dialogue. You will greatly improve upon your story elements this way.
Wildcard	5	4	Tobias was a bit more timely with posting than Wolf. Since this battle was unfinished, I had to take this into consideration.
Total	48/100	47/100

Tobias Stalt advances to Round Two!
Wolf Oden Luka Frekad is very much alive in the Loser's Bracket.

Tobias Stalt earns 500 EXP and 86 GP.
Wolf Oden Luka Frekad earns 125 EXP and 75 GP.

[Lye]

Exp & gp added!