Tobias Stalt: Evocative and poignant, you explored the ills of Tobias and his turbulent life well. Few errors, and thus a solid piece of writing underpinned by just enough reference to canon and just enough left to the audience as guesswork and intrigue.Prompt: Look 30 years into the future.
Kroom: Excellent writing but I have to ask you tell more why, and less how when a prompt is about ‘potential’ scenarios. I was left bereft of oomph and disappointed when the count disappeared. On the other hand, is Kroom’s life destined to be a failure?
BlueSeasideGhost: A traditional family progeny piece. Entirely in character for Ashla and hopefully, Hannah does not have to go through the same trials and tribulations you have thus far (with the war and the like). Consider more setting focus next time.
Philomel: Philomel will be changing very little in the future, then. Hehe. Much more to the point and believable here, and a good effort at capturing the tomorrow. For the sake of clarity, consider italicising internal thought. Perhaps form a stronger dialect.
BlackandBlueEyes: Showing the end of a life in such vicious fashion is a well-deserved piece worthy of praise. You left me wondering if, finally, Freebird might…well, settle down. I just cannot see her in a thatch cottage with kids, though…
Whispers of Abyssion: Deep reference to ‘background’ and character events to show another possible future: ruination and war. Chilling, is it not? One thing to reflect on is if so many NPC’s are a risk in a vignette, or something to expand on.
Flames of Hyperion: Whilst well hideously well written (as ever), this piece over the other two was too thick with exposition and summary. Whisper told me so much in the opening line without weighing me down beneath the tomes of history.
Wings of Endymion: Flipside to Whispers, a human touch to an inhuman possibility. It is good to see human characters amidst the inhuman malady and circumstance. Be careful with tone vs. backdrop, and this is excellent material to explore further!
Verif: Non-standard text summaries this vignette beautifully, and sets the scene for a future thread (or an excellent army battle!). Be wary of overcomplicating text with compound sentences, and try less ‘earthen’ dialogue. Good work!
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