The Diary of the Exile: Chapter 5 ~ Give Up Forever

[Jared]

Jared never believed in the cheesy cliché of life that flashed before your eyes moments before you died. It was an expression that people liked to utilize in order to add a more dramatic flare to that last handful of moments that, on their own, sounded tedious and uneventful. And even if they weren’t, he sincerely doubted that the mind’s last duty as a working organ was to replay the events that took place in the past. In support to that conclusion were the two times he died during his time with the Valkyrie and on neither of the two occasions he saw a short resume flashing before his eyes. The fact of the matter was that death wasn’t spectacular, it wasn’t all that of which the books wrote. It was just death, a pale cold finale of another cycle that in celestial proportions wasn’t even a drop in the ocean.

And yet once his aura extinguished and the gnarled clawed hands tore him away from his beloved, something did appear in front of his mind’s eye. Only it wasn’t a flash, but a paused frame that despite its stillness was somehow vivid and alive. And in that moment that preceded the eternal torment, Jared Namarealyen realized that his skepticism about the cliché was unwarranted. Because something that was his life flashed in front of his eyes.

It was Brynhilde’s face.

And when he was finally ready to let himself go to the forces of the underworld, the torment failed to begin. The malicious gloating laughter of Hel stopped as if somebody erased it. The hisses and devilspeak quelled down until they ceased to exist. The commotion of epic proportions that was bound to swallow the three that stood on the top of a hill made out of bones was stopped by a divine intervention. And once again, the exile found himself in a paused environment, where everything save for himself was simply intermitted. The demons and imps that seconds before fought for the latest catch simply stood, their limbs cramped in a static position. Even Brynhilde and their daughter were under the influence of whatever decided to put their doom on hold.

“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?!?” Hel bawled from above, but Jared wasted no time at searching the answer for that question. He snatched his limbs from the cold slimy hands of his paralyzed captors and started to make his way through the demonic crowd. He was halfway to the Valkyrie when the familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Temper, temper, my dear Hel.” it spoke from somewhere in the crowd. The Underworld goddess wasted no time at searching for this intruder, snapping her fingers again and turning her entire army into vapor effortlessly. All that was left on the small plateau of bone was dumbfounded Jared, two lifeless bodies of Bryn and her daughter, and one wily deity.

“Loki.” she growled from above, her levitating throne slowly descending until its ivory texture touched the bony ground and melted into it. “What gives you right to come into my dominion and stop me from doing my bidding?”

The red-haired god that Jared met on several occasions already merely smirked knavishly, making an expression that intentionally tried and failed to look like genuine thoughtfulness. He walked towards Hel’s throne with agonizing slowness, tempting her already worn patience, twirling his fingers playfully. Once he was almost close enough to step on her benighted dress, Loki finally replied to her inquiry. “I’m here to make you an offer.”

“Offer me what? I have everything I need.” Hel replied, her indifference and her condescending tone describing her lack of interest perfectly.

“Do you now? Let’s have a closer look at that. You lost one soul already, you’re bound to lose another one, and you gained two.” he did the numbers on his fingers, counting to two, then counting back to zero again in clear mockery. “I’d say you did a lot of work just to keep everything even.”

Hel was getting annoyed in a hurry, her eyes rolling and her fingers tapping on her throne. But Loki was always a jester and she knew how to take his little games in stride, so she let him speak further. “What are you babbling about now?”

“That girl over there, the one that opposed you so openly, the one even you couldn’t touch...” Loki spoke, nodding towards Jared’s daughter and provoking a frown on the pale face of the mistress of the Underworld. “If you proceed with this, you won’t be able to claim her soul. Because if Bryn remains dead, her daughter will never be born and the one person that stood against you and lived would just fade away into oblivion.”

The dark goddess wanted to retort, but she knew he was right. The little bitch that seemed unimportant at the beginning of all of this became a major nuisance and a thorn in her side. She wanted the girl, wanted her out of spite, out of malice, out of sheer hate towards the meddlesome pair that walked into her backyard and caused all this ruckus. She wanted to own her, to defile her and make her one of her slaves, one of her damned minions.

“So what is your offer? To let Brynhilde go and then hope that her daughter winds up here?”

“No. You let both Brnyhilde and Jared go and let them live their lives the way they want to and raise their child the way they want to.”

“And why would I be so benevolent?”

“Because you get their daughter once she grows up.”

“And who is to assure me that it will be so?”

“He is.” and with that said, Loki’s finger pointed to Jared who insofar felt like an audience member that watched a dialogue that took place on the stage above. Still in a rather stupefied state, Jared could only watch as the trickster deity walked up to him with that same quizzical grin that seemed always on that divine face of his. “This is what I was talking about Jared; the moment of choice. In one hand you have this, the eternal damnation in this place that consequently makes her...” he pointed towards the chestnut haired lass. “...perish. On the other you have salvation for you and your beloved Bryn and a good number of years with your daughter.”

“Before I turn her over to eternal damnation?” Jared concluded bitterly. “You’re asking me to pick between my own doom and that of my daughter?”

“Aye. I told you it wouldn’t be an easy choice. Between the longing of your heart and the righteousness of your soul, which will you choose?” Loki asked, his voice finally losing the jovial hue and becoming serious and strict. Behind him Hel was silent, obviously satisfied with the way things are revolving. Jared’s eyes fled to the two women that lay on the carpet made of bones as cold sweat trickled down his back, over his forehead, making his entire body feverish. To save one, he would have to doom the other. To get Bryn, his heart’s greatest desire, he would have to sacrifice his daughter’s soul and consequently his own. Because such betrayal could never be redeemed.

And in the end, it all came to the hypothetical situation that he mulled on for a number of times. If he had a wife and at birth there had to be a choice made between the child and the mother, he always said to himself that he would opt for the mother. Because they could always have another child. But after seeing his daughter in flesh, after seeing the magnificent woman she was bound to become, the simple choice wasn’t so simple anymore. However, in the end his love for the Valkyrie was too strong. He looked back at her and saw in her all that he ever wanted, his life, his soul, his fabled soul mate. Together they could weather whatever storm. Together they would make it.

“Very well. I... I...” he paused again, his eyes fleeing to the beautiful young lass that he was selling like a mere slave at that very moment. It tore him apart, but with both choices being so wrong, he thought he was picking the lesser evil. “I agree to your proposal. You may have her when the time comes.”

Hel smiled. She smiled like a scoundrel that just won the lottery. She was feeding on his anguish, on his despair. It was her drug, the food for her malice, and today she won in more then one way.

“So be it.” Loki said, his hand touching Jared’s shoulder gently. And even as he did so, the exile’s eyes darkened, his knees buckling beneath him as he passed out. The last thing he heard was an excerpt of the conversation between Loki and Hel.

“What’s your angle in all of this?” the goddess asked.

“Let’s call it a... long term investment.”

[The Valkyrie]

The baby was kicking again, turning somersaults and gouging into Brynhilde's ribs, leaving tender bruises. The girl was going to be a handful, that was for sure. Bryn shifted position, then opened her eyes with a horrified gasp, her hands going to her belly and her mind identifying the monotonous sound that filled her ears as the chanting of the priests and priestess around her. In a panic she struggled to sit up, a young priest helping her to her feet as her eyes darted around the room.

Jared lay on the altar right next to the place she had just left, not breathing, completely still. With a heartbreaking sob, she touched him, draping her body across his. What had she done? She'd hoped it had all been a dream, but here she was, alive and heavy with child in a demonic land, and the only person that held her together was laying lifeless on an altar. She may as well have killed him herself, she thought as she clung to what was left of the man she loved.

Two men, relegated to the Underworld, left to suffer at the hands of a goddess that hated Brynhilde and anything to do with the Valkyrie. Two men who would endure eternal torment, and all because she was foolish enough to love them. And now the armor that had taken her to the Underworld to begin with was useless, she couldn't even go back to try to bargain with her former mistress for Jared's soul.

The chanting stopped. A gentle hand lay on her back, and Bryn lifted her head from Jared's chest long enough to stare into the amber eyes of the V'dron. If before the eyes had seemed cold and uncaring, now they were filled with emotion, warm and comforting and full of sorrow. But the Valkyrie shrugged the hand away, shaking her head and closing her eyes as she lay back down across Jared's body once more.

She had failed. And this ceremonial chamber, dimly lit and smelling of incense, seemed more like a tomb. She would as soon die here as try to go on, living a mortal life and raising a child - his child - without Jared at her side. And what was his life the payment for? Nothing it seemed. Nothing at all. He was gone, Eryk still remained in the Underworld (where she thought he might belong after all), and she was alone.

But that was such a selfish thought, she realized, as the baby kicked once more at her ribs as though reminding her just what had happened. How could she worry about herself at a time like this? Just what had Jared done to send Bryn and their baby back, only for him to remain in the Underworld. Did he still lay atop that hill of bones? Were the demons tearing his soul to shreds at this very moment, tormenting him with visions of what he'd given up? Or did Hel herself have the exile in her clutches, leading him down the paths he might have taken, showing him what would become of his Valkyrie and their daughter?

A rending sob tore at her throat at the flood of images that ripped through her mind. She knew what Hel did to her victims, and the very idea killed the Valkyrie.

"You prayed, did you not?" the V'dron asked softly, still standing nearby, as though holding vigil over the solemn scene before her.

Bryn looked up once more, the light from the candles flickering like molten gold in her curls. The V'dron raised an ebon eyebrow, her bronze skin shimmering like the metal it resembled in the candlelight.

"I did," the Valkyrie whispered, "But no one heard."

"I believe you are mistaken," the priestess argued, "Think again."

Bryn thought back to the last moments before she awoke. She'd cried out to Loki as a last resort, begging him for help as the demons began to tear at her, with a pain that was anything but physical. The Valkyrie struggled to remember what happened next, and with a shock, she remembered.

The voice. It had been Loki's. He'd come and she'd woken up. But why the hell was Jared dead, if Loki had answered her prayers? Bryn began to shake with anger, her whole body trembling, and her fists clenching and unclenching at her sides.

"Wait Brynhilde Darkthorne," the V'dron warned in a threateningly low voice, "The gods do not always work in the time we believe they should. Perhaps your man here made a deal for your soul."

She stared at the priestess, emerald eyes wide in horror at the terrible realization of what Jared might have done. And she knew that if it came down to it, that was just the noble gesture he would make. With a low cry of anguish, Bryn turned her face away from the V'dron and back to Jared's still form, her clenched fists angrily pummeling his chest.

"How could you! You can't leave me here! I don't know what I'm doing here without you... please... oh gods please don't take him too..." she kept hitting him, although not hard now, her voice choked with burning tears as her fists thudded dully against his unmoving chest.

[Jared]

Jared thought that once the treacherous deal was concluded, he would be rid of the pain, the coldness and all the other traits that Hel’s realm had in ample supply, but he wasn’t. Because he was cold again, floating weightless through the abyss that seemed to pour more into him with every passing second. And then there was the pain, dull and far from deadly, but still drumming in his chest as if he was tied into a sack and getting beaten by a prizefighter. It was more then enough to make him think that Loki pulled a fast one on him and, in his divine power, decided to cast him in some kind of limbo. Not suffering eternal torment, not returning to life, but floating somewhere in between. Forever. And from that perspective it seemed even worse then being in the Underworld.

Luckily, the nothingness of the oblivion around him didn’t last long. At first he felt as if the abysmal darkness was somehow shallowing, not changing in hue but in depth, suddenly not seeming that endless. It became more coherent if that could ever be said for a heap of nothing, more mundane and not so despondent anymore. Still cold though, chilling his bones from head to toe. But then came the voice, distant and dreamy, filtered through a membrane that he couldn’t see, making it sound miles away. And it said:

“How could you! You can't leave me here! I don't know what I'm doing here without you... please... oh gods please don't take him too...”

At first, he was just overjoyed to hear something other then the beating of his own heart in ears. Beating of his heart? But wouldn’t that make him alive? The pain in his chest was veining, but it felt flat to him, empty and dormant. He decided to make an attempt at breathing and he succeeded, albeit with some difficulty that manifested itself in dry weak coughs. And then, as if somebody flipped the switch, the dense blackness around him was gone and his eyes opened up to behold the world again. And out of all the sights in the world of Althanas, his eyes were granted the most magnificent one. And suddenly he knew to whom that voice belonged to, he knew that he wasn’t drifting anymore and that Loki didn’t trick him. Because Brynhilde loomed over him, her face tearful and desperate, her fist knocking on his chest feebly. She never saw a sadder face on her and she was never more glad to see it. Because it was real, it was tangible... It was alive.

“I’m not going anywhere.” he spoke in a raspy, decrepit voice so unlike him. His hands were numb from the coldness, but he managed to put them in motion, lifting them to grasp her own that stood against his chest. And even though he was cold all over, feeling like a living icicle, Jared managed to procure a smile for her, meek and genuine. “You know that I always like to sleep late.”

He didn’t know where did the jest come from, but it was instinctive and he couldn’t stop it any more then he could stop bringing her hands to his lips and caressing them over and over again. Because she was alive and he was alive and they were together after a dreadful ordeal that couldn’t have a fairytale ending, and if that wasn’t a reason enough for mirth, then chances were there wouldn’t be one during their entire lives. The ritual chamber around them was silent, the priests ceasing their chant and stepping back from the altar where the two lay, rejoined and rejoiced. Only the V’dron stood close and though Jared couldn’t see her face, he could almost feel her smiling with satisfaction. After all, how many times one gets to facilitate a journey to the Underworld that concluded with something other then utter demise?

“I made a promise, Brynhilde. A promise to myself, to you, to her...” the exile spoke after he showered her hands with kisses, one of his hands touching her bulged belly. “I promised that if you don’t come back, I’ll go get you. And I’ll make the devil sorry for not letting you go. And here we are. All three of us.”

“For how long?” an acrimonious, realistic side of him spoke, reminding him of the deal he made and the betrayal of the child that the Valkyrie carried in her womb. But at this moment he brushed it aside, his subconsciousness brushed it aside for him, and he was just happy to hold her once again. His hand touched her face, touched the magnificent suave curls of her hair that he thought he would never touch again. And he felt that his soul was worth it - that his daughter’s soul was worth it as horrible as it sounded - just to have Bryn.

[The Valkyrie]

6 months later - Suravani's Oasis - Fallien

"Astrid, stop squirming while I change you," a golden haired beauty with a dirt smudged face growled as she struggled with a tiny chestnut haired little girl of only two months old, "You're making a bloody mess child."

Tucking in the edges of the diaper and lifting the baby into her arms, Bryn turned to Jared and sighed. The heat was getting to her and the baby, and they were both cranky and tired - the Valkyrie hadn't slept in at least a week, she thought.

Handing the baby girl to her father, Bryn wiped her forehead on her arm, then collapsed in a rocking chair near the door of the small stone cottage the Esseker clan had built for the expecting couple when they'd come there after their return from the Underworld. At least here there was a slight breeze, and Bryn closed her eyes just for a moment as she cooled off.

A familiar face sprang into her mind like a wildcat onto its kill, a face she'd been dreaming of lately as she drifted during the short hours the baby slept between nursing. It was as though her mind was asking of her the question she'd been too afraid all this time to ask of Jared - what had become of Eryk's soul? Opening her eyes wide, and glancing at the exile, Bryn frowned and bit her lip.

"Jared," she said finally, her voice tentative, "You never told me... what happened down there... in the Underworld after the demons... what happened to Eryk... what happened to you? How did we both get out Jared?"

She knew that anytime she mentioned Eryk it hurt Jared, cutting into his heart like a knife. It was why she hadn't so much as breathed his name since they'd woken up in that chamber in Haidia six months before. But not knowing was killing her, and she knew that if she didn't ask now it would drive her mad.

Bryn stood from the chair and puttered around the cottage, arranging and rearranging glass figurines on a shelf (presents from the Essekers and the Deklans for the birth of Astrid), wiping crumbs from the table, folding clean diapers, and keeping her eyes from wandering back to Jared's face. She wouldn't blame him if he didn't answer, or even if he flew off the handle like he had before when she'd talk about Eryk.

[Jared]

For the first time since the illusion of his homeland was broken and he wandered through the known lands of Althanas, Jared Namarealyen could say that life was good. Better then good actually. It was elysian. The chancy adventures were behind them now, stored away neatly in their memories just as their gear was in a wooden casket they held in their bedroom. And instead of the uncertainty of the road and the hostile encounters that frequently resulted in life or death situations they now had a sanctuary within the walls of their new home. Fallien was a land by Bryn’s liking, a realm of strong women and hard workers, but a realm attractive in its spartan way. Because you haven’t seen a dusk in its full glory until you saw it descending over the prairie around the Suravani’s Oasis, enflaming the sky as the blazing orb sunk beneath the horizon. Because you haven’t seen a night sky so big, so endless as the one above your head during the sleepless nights (which they had quite a few lately).

But the scenery was just one part of the medal, a small, less significant part. What mattered was that in this Oasis in the middle of Fallien desert, they made an oasis of their own, raising it with their love until it became their fort... their home. And of course, there was Astrid, the very materialization of this affection, a tiny beautiful thing that undoubtedly had her mother’s flare and determination. But even though she was a handful, it was a sweet trial for the pair. And when it didn’t seem so, Jared always liked to say what his mother always said: Little children, little trouble. Big children, big trouble. It seldom helped when you haven’t slept for three nights in a row, but it was something.

And in the midst of this storm of good events that swept them off their feet and simply carried them through the days, Haidia, the V’dron, the Underworld and the terrible bargain that was made simply faded away. Or at least that was what Jared kept telling himself. In reality it struck as the important things always did, blindsiding yhim in some dull hour of the night and making him mull until either the morning came or he fell asleep from mental exhaustion. It haunted him at random, this whisper in the back of his head that reminded him of Loki and Hel and the River of Souls. And he would curse himself for making a deal, curse as his stomach churned so much he wanted to puke. But then Bryn would sigh in her sleep or her hand would brush against his skin, and he would pull her close and chase away his demons with her divine beauty.

Today, however, the night demons came forth during the day and it was Brynhilde that initiated its appearance. She was sitting in an armchair, exhausted by Astrid’s strange sleeping habits, and the question just came up, catching Jared by surprise. He didn’t show it though. Instead he held Astrid leant on his chest, rocking her gently as he gazed over the grassland that was uncannily lush around the Oasis. It was a question that was hanging over his head for months now, a noose that he tried to evade in any way possible, but one could never escape the inevitable.

Finally, when the silence because dense and burdening and the Valkyrie begun doing some minor housework, he turned towards with an intention to speak. But what was he supposed to say? That this child that he held in his hands, this gorgeous baby that was both of them and neither of them, that he traded it for her? For this home that had a countdown that ticked away the seconds of their mirth? No, he couldn’t tell her that. She didn’t have to know that. Not now anyways. Not now when Astrid was still a baby and the time of her departure was waiting for her at some undetermined point in the future. Later. He would tell her later. No use ruining the time of rejoice with the doom that was yet to come.

“I...I don’t know.” he lied, keeping his face as honest as possible. He hoped that she would acknowledge the grimness of his face as something inspired by the reminiscing of their terrible experience in the Underworld. “When the demons overwhelmed us, I passed out, just like you did. And the next thing I know, you’re beating the life out of me back in the ritual chamber.”

He finished with a smile, weak and faux, but given the fact that neither of them was terribly fond of this topic, it was to be expected. “As for Eryk...” he continued, his tone unintentionally hued by a touch of bitterness. “I can only assume that by entering the Underworld and reaching him, you redeemed his soul and sent it to Val Halla. Although, if you ask me, if such a bastard winds up in Val Halla, I’d rather go back to Underworld when my time comes.”

At these words, prominently acerbic and hostile, Astrid squirmed in his hands and started to cry. He tried to hush her, rocking her gently once again, but to no avail. “Uhm... Maybe she’s hungry.”

((SPOILS: Holy - Jared discovered this spell during his tribulation in the Underworld. The effect of it are twofold. First, it imbues him with an azure-white aura some ten feet in diameter. Within this aura he and any of his allies have their morale elevated, and though it has no physical influence, it steels the will of whoever finds himself in the area of the spell. Second, the aura has a different effect on his enemies. Within the aura they feel discomforted, their focus wavers and they feel as if the energy is leeched out of them. This goes double for all the demonic and undead creatures that might flee in terror (if they are of lower level then he is). The spell lasts for five minutes and can be cast twice a day. It takes five seconds of focusing (praying) for Jared to summon this spell.))

[The Valkyrie]

Bryn knew he was lying about what had happened, and it hurt that he feared to tell her the truth, but part of her understood. And she knew in her heart that when the time came, he'd reveal what actually happened during their time in the Underworld. With a smile that mirrored Jared's false one, the Valkyrie nodded.

"I understand," she said, standing behind him and wrapping her arms around his neck, her hands laying over the baby that laid Jared's chest. But she didn't understand. And maybe she never would. It didn't matter now. What was done was done, and she had a home and a family, and that was the only important thing. Even if Eryk remained in the Underworld, there was little or nothing she could do now that Yarina's armor was useless to protect her in that place.

As the baby started crying, Bryn sighed, taking the Astrid from her father's arms once more and carrying the girl to the rocking chair. The Valkyrie calmly bared her breast, and lifted the baby to nurse. The beautiful child began to suckle noisily, making happy little sighing noises as she did. Bryn looked over their daughter's head at Jared with a loving smile.

"I'm happier than I ever imagined I could be," she admitted, tears rushing to her eyes, "I've never had a home before."

((Spoils - Bryn no longer has either the tiara (the elves in Raiaera wanted it back) or the boots (she returned them to the Esseker tribe) that belong to Yarina's armor. Somehow though, Bryn still has protection against the creatures of the Underworld anytime they visit this plane. Also, several glass trinkets from Fallien.

[INDK]

Well this was one of the best threads I remember reading on Althanas. It was dramatic but always appropriate. What a way to finish off a series.

Total Score= 81 Jeepers Batman! Take this judgement, print it out, and stick it on your refrigerator!

Introduction – 7 This introduction was pretty well done. The one qualm I have with it, is it really didn’t give me as great of a glimpse into the task at hand for these two as I would have liked. I knew it was something tough, and admittedly if I was familiar with the saga I might have known more. However, I felt like you took a bit too long to introduce some semblance of a problem. I don’t mean that in your first post you have to introduce the antagonist, but here I really couldn’t imagine what kind of an adventure this was going to be from the introduction.

Setting – 8 Though you two seemed to take a more minimalist approach to setting here, I felt it worked well. I especially liked it when Jared likened his feelings of futility with Jared running tired through unchanging scenery.

Strategy – 10 Now that was something I did not expect in the Climax! It was ingenious, since it kept with the cost/benefit theme that seemed so prominent in this thread, without seeming forced or in any ways illogical. Had you fought your way through an epic battle, it wouldn’t have scored so high.

Dialogue – 8 In a few cases, the dialogue was melodramatic, but it wasn’t needless melodrama. You guys did a really good job in keeping it balanced between conveying the character’s emotions and being too over the top.

Character – 9 The characters here were very elaborate. I don’t really have much to say, other than I felt you both managed to generate a great deal of empathy for characters that seemed both meaningful and unique.

Rising Action – 9 This thread kept me interested, which kind of surprised me. This really had a feel of culmination to it throughout, and it seems you both got the reader to feed on that energy.

Climax – 8 The strategy here was brilliant, but I don’t feel that Jared’s decision was synchronized with Byrn very well. In a battle, I couldn’t expect that, but in a group quest I should be able to expect a little more communication from the players involved. Also I felt like Jared should have spent a bit more time on the decision, or perhaps even begged for another way. While the idea was brilliant, the execution was only very good.

Conclusion – 7 I loved the irony in the conclusion with Astrid crying. However, I can’t say I was particularly thrilled here. It wasn’t bad, but I didn’t feel like I got enough of Jared’s emotions after six months.

Writing Style – 7 I was a bit turned off by some of the Valkyrie’s descriptions. Talking about a baby gouging at your ribs gives it a real sinister sense, which I don’t feel at all is what you were going for, especially when it should have been a moment of happiness. Be very mindful of your diction.

Jared, there were a few minor malapropisms in here most that didn’t seem intentional. Also, your flow seemed a bit off from time to time.

Wild Card – 8 All in all, this was a very good job. I haven’t tallied up the numbers, but I’m rooting for this to score 80+.

Spoils=

Valkyrie, I’m okay with you getting the glass trinkets without much specification, but I’m going to have to require that they be under 750 GP in cost should you decide to sell them.

Anyways,

Jared receives 1800 EXP and his spoils.
Valkyrie receives 3000 EXP and her spoils.

[Zieg dil' Tulfried]

Since I don't think this got EXP, I'm adding it now.

EXP Added! Jared levels up!