Times were tough on these streets; crime was high, and pollution was higher. Everywhere grimy workers ground out their lives in gritty factories, and a cloud hung over the city. It was a depressing place, but not without value. Atop a tower of metal the prize lay, surveying the cobbled valleys of filth below, and the dashing rogue who daring now scaled sheer steel would have it. Ebony cloak adrift on the breeze, gloved fingers gripped tight yet another window casement, but soon the stealthy saboteur was quietly inside, and slipping into a nearby vent. The target was a vault on the top floor, and a few minutes of cramped crawling brought the dark-haired infiltrator to the dumbwaiter. After slipping down quietly onto the roof of the thing, sharp blue eyes drifted up the shaft, towards his goal. A heavy thump rocked his footing, and brought his eyes over to the triumphant-looking guard who had just dropped down from the other side.

"What the-" a fist answered the rogue's question.

Just outside the vault, a skinny guard white of hair chatted idly with his portly co-worker. "Where do you think Steve is, O'Malley?" the lanky one asked. "Probably crawlin' in the damn vents again;" his friend replied, "...and why'd you have to call me by name, Johnson?" The response was immediate. "So you'd know I was talking to you," the taller said simply. "We're the only two people here, you idiot," his shorter coworker replied, dark brow furrowed. "No need to be rude." the skinny guard retorted, and the other snorted. "I'm glad you'll be out of my hair soon; you can enjoy your retirement, and I can get paired with someone with a brain." O'Malley spoke with confidence, but his face changed quickly when his thin friend said "Is it Joe, or Carl? I've seen the way you-"

"Shut up, Johnson."

Back on the dumbwaiter, the daring saboteur duked it out with the diligent dog of industry. After a quick exchange, the two split apart for a moment, then the dark-elven guard snapped out a few jabs that were deflected, and received a heavy punch to the gut in return. He pulled a knife, and threw swipe after swipe at the nimble night-thief, but all of them missed. In his rage he grabbed onto the rope supporting the dumbwaiter, and cut the thing free. The dark-elf felt a hand latch onto the rope above his, and looked over to see the intruder swinging out just before soft boots landed on his chest. The knife clattered as the guard's back slammed into the wall, and he twisted to look up at his murderer as he fell. The dashing rogue watched the man's descent in silence as he sailed up, pulled by the counterweight. The dumbwaiter crumpled at the bottom of the shaft, and the ensuing explosion engulfed the guard's final words in a ball of flame.

That would draw some attention; he would need to move quickly to take advantage of the distraction. The dark-haired intruder was crawling through vents again in no time, carefully following his mental map through the convoluted twists and intersections. Soon the night-thief neared the vault, a fact confirmed when tiny metal shards snagged a dark sleeve. They were all over the place, but they weren't in the original blueprints. It was as if someone had meticulously stabbed the vent every quarter inch and bent the metal back upward. Strange, but the coiled rope at his hip provided a good cushion for his chest, and he slowly wiggled forward. It was pretty frayed on one side when he finally reached the vent looking down into the vault, but still seemed solid enough. The clamp he stuck to the roof of the vent a little further back, and hooked the rope to it. Without further ado, the dashing rogue descended into the steel vault.

The pressure plates on the floor were set up to trigger the alarm, so the saboteur stopped once he reached the safe, which needed two keys. He hooked the rope to his belt and hung horizontal just in front of the safe. Reaching into the pockets at the front of his black shirt, the thief produced a small case with several picks and assorted tools and placed it atop the safe. As he slowly worked on the first lock, he dimly heard the guards outside arguing about something. Once he finished the first lock, he wedged a small piece of metal between the two picks to keep them in position while he fiddled with the second lock. When he had all four picks in place, the thief turned them simultaneously and the safe slid open with a creak. Gold and silver sat gleaming, but the unassuming brown folder was stashed away in a pocket inside the saboteur's shirt. Now with his job complete, he began pulling himself up when the rope broke. His ass met the ground painfully, and all around him a wail rose from the alarm.

The intruder was on his feet and clenching his cheeks in pain when the first two guards burst into the vault, one thin and tall, the other fat and short. They stayed near the door while a line of very generic guards filed in and came at the rogue one at a time. He raised an arm to block the first one, then knocked him down with one punch. Then he raised the other arm to block the second one, and knocked him down with one punch. "Really, guys?" the rogue said, knocking yet another guard down with a single punch. "You can at least try." he quipped as he knocked down the final one, and eyed the taller of the two near the door. "What about you?" he asked, and the lithe dark elf strode forward and spoke with confidence. "I will stop your evil-" a fist silenced his speech, and sent him sprawling, nose bleeding. The guard's head flung back and slapped the floor with a crunch. He didn't move much after that; well, except for the twitching.

"Johnson, no!" the fat one yelled, rushing to the aid of his friend.

As the round man knelt on tiny knees, he tried to wake up his friend, but the spreading pool of blood disagreed. The solemn saboteur stood in silence for a moment before glancing at the open door to the vault. "You murdered him!" the portly guard blubbered, to which the rogue replied "I just punched him." O'Malley looked up in anger and screamed "He's dead now!" After a pause, the intruder said "I can see that." The rotund dark-elf's anger petered out as he said "He was two days away from retirement." As the grown man started crying, the other replied simply. "Tragic. I'm gonna go now," and started walking toward the door. He stopped in annoyance, and turned around when the guard said "You don't understand..." A few seconds passed filled with impatient gestures before the short dark-elf finally murmured softly " I loved him."

"Whatever," the dashing rogue said, walking out of the vault.

The roof access was easy to find, and the black-clad burglar was sliding across the zip line he had set up the day before onto the nearby apartments in no time. There was a man yelling at a rather attractive dark elven woman who must've been his wife. As the infiltrator walked toward them the husband started beating the woman savagely, so the stealthy saboteur sucker punched the man as he walked up. The wife-beater crumpled without a sound, and the woman looked teary-eyed at her savior. "What's your name?" the thief asked softly, to which she replied "Vashara. Oh, thank you..." She fell into his arms quietly sobbing, but looked up with hope when he said "I'm Nyadir. Let me take you away, Vashara." She nodded smiling, and her small son walked meekly up the stairs and out onto the room. "Are you gonna be my new daddy?" the adorable little tyke asked, her mother giving him a warm smile.

"Nope," the rogue said, and kicked the little shit back down the stairs.

He looked back at the mother and said "Come with me if you want to live," but she just turned back from the stairway eyes wide and brow furrowed. She couldn't find the words at first, but soon she said "Did you just-" "Awaaaayyy!" the burglar yelled as he picked her up and ran toward the rope ladder hanging just off the edge of the building. She screamed as he leaped off the edge, and he grabbed the ladder with one arm just as the building exploded. After swaying from the blast for a few moments as the airship above rose into the sky, the saboteur flipped the woman up onto his back and began climbing the ladder. At the top one of his henchman pulled her up, and greeted him as he stepped onto the deck. "Yarr, welcome aboard, cap'n." said the muscular blond man. "I told you to stop talking like that." his captain replied, but the man responded "Yarr, ah can't do that, cap'n. T'was in mah contract." The dark-haired rogue rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to murder my lawyer," he said as he walked further onto the deck.

Apparently, "ship-shape" was the wrong term to use when outlining employment contracts; damn smart-ass. The victorious infiltrator walked over to his bonus prize, who was staring at him with clear admiration. He held her close, and as she looked up into his eyes she said "I don't know why, but I feel like I can trust you." He grasped her hand, and they gazed off into the sunrise together. "When all this is over, we'll move to the beach." the captain said, eyes staring into the future they would have. A tall bald man in a purple robe who was watching them with confusion said "What the hell are you two-" "But what about Ricardo?" the slender woman asked as she turned to look at her newfound lover. "Don't worry. He exploded." he replied simply, and she paused for a moment. "Oh...right...Why did he-" "Think of it," he interjected, looking back into the distance. "It'll be just us, the beach, and a fucking missile!" She looked up confused as something flew past the airship.

"I think they spotted us," the purple-robed man said, to which the captain replied simply. "I can see that, Tonto." The bald one's eyebrow twitched before he replied. "I told you, it's Tommo." The dark-haired thief responded with "Just put up a damn barrier." The robed man sighed, and raised his arms. A semi-translucent bubble formed around the back of the airship, and the next few projectiles skewed off course. The enemy vessel was a few hundred paces back, but the dashing rogue had no canons on the back of his ship with which to retaliate. "Yarr, we should bring'er around." the stocky crewman shouted, but the purple-robed wizard responded with "No, we should not do that. I can't cover the entire side of the ship." The captain looked around the deck. "Well, what should we do?" he asked. The shine of dawn upon his dome, Tonto replied with worry in his voice. "I don't know, but soon would be nice."

Finally, the troubled thief settled his eyes on one of the canons, and knew what to do. Reaching into his black shirt he pulled out the documents, and stuffed them into the back of his belt. He pushed all the energy he could manage into an enhancement technique as he ripped open his shirt; his muscles expanded and started pouring sweat. With a grunt the swollen saboteur lifted one of the canons, and carried it to the back near a stack of cannonballs. The first mate ran over with enthusiasm, but after a few 'yarr's the captain silenced him with a glare. "Load!" the bare-shirted bad-ass shouted, and his stocky soldier stuffed powder and ball down the barrel as fast as he could. The first shot rang out, and the captain's muscles rippled as he absorbed the impact of the canon; the wooden deck cracked slightly beneath his feet. As the ball sailed through the air and struck a blow on the enemy ship, the burglar yelled a triumphant "Yeah, take that!" as his first mate loaded the next cannonball. Hopefully, they could take it down before Tonto got tired; there was too much cargo on this airship to lose.

As the second shot sent wood shrapnel flying all across the deck of the enemy ship, the blue-eyed smuggler shouted "Hope you like holes!" The bald wizard looked back in confusion before the bare-chested bad-ass finished with "...in your ship!" Tonto quietly shook his head as the pirate wannabe loaded another shot. "Taste my balls!" the daring rogue shouted as the next one hit, and the crew near him snickered. "What?" he asked, but the stocky first mate yelled "Yarr, she's loaded cap'n!" and the next shot was flying. "Avast, ye corpses!" he yelled that time, suddenly searching for good things to shout. "What a... shocking development!" he bellowed proudly. "That's not how puns work." Tonto said, but the next ball was flying yet again. The enemy ship was in tatters, but the straining saboteur couldn't quite get the balloon. "You surviving isn't very...canonical." he yelled as the next one hit. "Oh, come on." the mage muttered in annoyance.

"Keep up the good work, Tonto." the captain said proudly to his wizard. "It's Tommo, you asshole." he responded with spite, the shield he was maintaining beginning to flicker. Finally, a shot arced up and punctured the balloon of the enemy ship. Just as a cheer went up among the crew, the shield flickered long enough to let one missile in, and as it hit the rail it showered some kind of liquid fire all over the bald mage. He started running around flailing as he screamed, and the dashing rogue set down the cannon as he yelled "Tonto, nooo!" With a solemn sigh the captain looked away from his wizard. "Oh gods it hurts so bad!" Tonto screamed as he dropped to the deck. "Somebody help me!" The stunned saboteur spoke quietly "He was a good wizard. We will remember him fondly." "I'm right here, you asshole, put me out!" the bald mage yelled, the crew frozen in shock. "I'll always remember the good times." the bereaved burglar reminisced. "Seriously," Tonto continued, rolling around frantically,"...someone help me!"

The stocky first-mate took a step forward, but was stilled by the somber hand of his captain. "No, no; don't cling to the past." he said over the screams. "This is the worst pain!" Tonto yelled, finally breaking down into tears. "But cap'n, we could still-" the blond man started. "Now now, we need to let him go." the rogue rebutted with firm compassion. "I fucking hate yooouuu!" the wizard screamed, the final word stretching out louder and louder. "Now that we've accepted his death," the dark-haired captain began, voice raising to drown out the wailing, "...we need to do the respectful thing, the thing he would've wanted, and have a moment of godamn silence! Tonto! Shut the fuck up you big baby!" he finished with an angry yell. It must've worked, because the mage rolled towards the edge leaving a trail of melted robe, and finally fell off the side of the airship screaming "If's Tommo you diiiiiick!" His wail faded into a long moment of silence.

"Well, that was awkward." said the dashing rogue, turning his attention back to the falling enemy airship just in time to see their final missile collide with his balloon. Panic immediately leaped to the faces of the crew, but the infiltrator merely walked over to a folded backpack among some boxes. The first mate spoke up immediately. "Oh shit, we- I mean... yarrr, we've been hit mateys," and the bonus prize began asking if they could fix it. The bold burglar walked over to reassure her, placing one tender hand on her cheek. "Don't worry," he said softly, "In the end, despite all of this...I'll be just fine." Her brow furrowed for a moment. "Wait, what does-" she started, then the smuggling captain turned and sprinted for the edge of the deck. As he soared into the air he yelled "Later, bitches!" The bonus prize's scream of anger echoed through the trees as he fell.

The breeze felt nice after such a hectic morning, but the daring saboteur soon pulled the string on the strange back-pack he wore, and leather wings folded out on a wooden frame. As he caught the breeze and lifted back up into the sky, the enemy airship finally crashed and exploded just outside the city...and the other one exploded too. A shame, that; there was a good bit of cargo on that ship; enough to replace the crew twice over. Still, at least it wasn't a complete loss; the folder was safely tucked behind his belt. A small thump on the wing above him prompted the dashing rogue to reach up just as a slender dark-elf's severed middle finger rolled off into his hand. With a grin he put it between his teeth, and steered toward the northern mountains, laughing the whole way.