It's Living That's The Hard Part

[Krugor]

It didn’t take more than two seconds for the mushroom grew to full size, at least seven feet tall, bigger than the horses they came here on. Krugor chuckled as he saw the surprised face of both the Elves and the skeletons. There times when he grateful that he had met Talidus, and this was one of those moments.

“Noooo! Take them down now!” Warren suddenly cried out as he came running into the room through the main entrance.

The Master Chef knew that Warren was the only in the room who knew what the giant mushroom meant. Having watched the Cell the sculptor realised what the thing could do. And it was for the first time since they’d met that Krugor saw a hint of desperation on the man’s face.

“Oh my god, this is unbelievable!” Sidrall said while shaking his head. A part of him had thought that Krugor was sweetening his story up a bit when he told him of his spell, but this even surpassed his wildest dreams. Never in his life had he seen such a big mushroom.

“Alright people, get on quickly!” Krugor said when he realised that the skeletons were regaining their focus and charged again. There were only 5 Bladesinger’s remaining, including High Elven officer Sidrall, but it was still a bit tough to get them all on the mushroom. Not only were they being attacked while doing so, the mushroom also kept bouncing a bit. It wanted to go, to charge into some unknowing clay man. That was the spell’s original intent, but Krugor had attempted to use it for something completely different.

The Elves that had managed to climb on top of the 7 feet high mushroom quickly readied their bows and cleared a path around the thing, giving the other some more room to get on. Sidrall and Krugor were the only ones left standing after a while;

“Sidrall! Get on now!”

‘No way! I’m the highest in rank here, I need to go last. This was your plan, you go first!”

“Damn you, stubborn Elf!”

The Elf was now fighting with both his sword and a small dagger, taking on three skeletons at once at a certain point. It wasn’t an easy task, for he was getting extremely tired and couldn’t quite see straight anymore. Several wounds and cuts were showing all across his face and arms, and his valuable cloak had been torn in half. The man didn’t knew what happened when he suddenly felt a hand grabbing him by the collar.

“Now you know how that feels!” Krugor said jokingly before he pulled the Elven officer onto the mushroom. Without hesitation it shot into gear and smacked into the thick layer of skeletons in front of it.

“This sucks…”

Warren couldn’t say anything other than that when he felt the rubbery mushroom charging over him. The big fungus, ridden by a team of Elves and an undead made it’s way through all the skeletons, over Warren the Warlock and through the vacant hallways, moving at the speed of an arrow.

[Krugor]

The fungus was already starting to shrink to it’s original size when the group saw the light of the open main entrance appearing in front of them. Sliding across the marble floor they cheered the mushroom on, hoping it would reach the door quickly.

And it did, for it flew a small feet through the air when it passed through the doorway. Five bruised and broken Elves were thrown in the dirt and the mushroom returned to it’s regular place on top of Krugor’s staff. They didn’t have the time to rest though, not yet. Warren had gathered his remaining forces and when chasing them. It was necessary for the apprentice warlock to kill the intruders right now, or they would alert the Raiaerans. And then everything would be lost for him.

That was just the plan that Sidrall had in mind. He commanded his soldiers to climb upon their horses as he pulled Krugor on his own. There were 6 horses without someone mounting them as the skeletal cook sat on the same horse as the officer. The Bladesinger’s ordered their horses and made their way straight towards the Red Forest.

==//==

“Hmpf. Are you sure about that, officer Warzephyr?”

“With all due respect, sir. Do you think I would be standing here, with an uncountable number of wounds, risking my entire reputation and rank if this would be a lie?”

Sidrall Warzephyr had returned to Eluriand safely, together with his excellent group of soldiers. They were given a heroes welcome as the people of Eluriand had already thought of them death before they even left the city. However, every single one of them had been summoned by High Bard Calorfindil Tinil-Galas to give a report of the events and an explanation for the fact that they had returned with the captured skeleton in their arms. He wasn’t happy with that. Never in the history of Eluriand had a skeleton been given the same respect as a soldier of the Bladesinger’s.

“Very well. You may handle the case of the skeleton how you see fit. Now get out of here!”

The High Bard was a bit disappointed by the turn of events. The people seemed to like the skeleton as Sidrall had given a short summary of the battle to the citizens. His judgement was meaningless now, he couldn’t imprison him anymore without angering the entire city.

“Krugor Vrath-darr. Would you please get up here?”

For a third time Krugor entered the room containing the throne of the High Elven Officer. He walked up the steps and kneeled in front of Sidrall. This time was different, he knew that for sure. Now he was being treated like one of their own, instead of some filthy low-life. Sidrall rose from his seat and spoke to the crowd in the room;

“People of Eluriand! We have scolded, mistreated and accused this skeleton in the past! Those accusations were wrong, however! I, Sidrall Warzephyr, have fought side to side with this man and I personally guarantee his innocence! Anyone questioning my decision may take their complaints to Minas Teradryn and see for yourself!”

The officer opened a small chest carried by a young Bladesinger and revealed its contents to the public. He held up a pair of dark red, leather bracers with the Bladesinger’s Guild logo embroidered into it. They were handcrafted just for Krugor, as a way of thanking him for the deeds done to the city. Proudly the skeleton accepted the bracers, followed by a cheering crowd.

“There’s one more thing!” Sidrall said, silencing the crowd. “I hereby allow Krugor Vrath-darr free entrance to the entire city! May no one bother him on his journeys here or face my wrath!”

This news came a bit unexpected to the crowd and their responses clearly stated that. People whispered and pointed, unknowing of how to react to this statement. Rewarding a skeleton for a heroic act was one thing, accepting him as a fellow citizen was something completely different.

“Now, let us start the festivities!’

And with that the crowd continued their cheering, eager to start the party. They would deal with the skeleton later.

((Requested spoils: The dark red, leather bracers with the Bladesinger's logo. They have been specially made for Krugor and fit him perfectly. He now also has unlimited acces to Eluriand (not the rest of Raiaera) and can pass through it unharmed.))

[AsukaStrikes]

Judgement!

I counted this thread and Dying was the Easy Part as a single quest thread.

Introduction - 7/10

It's good and I can understand for the most part what was going on. There was just enough of some back story for me to understand his desperation for a bed, though I must admit had I not read a past thread of yours I would not have known that much about the necromancer and his ostrich obsession. Still, having your thread start out with a mad chase down the streets of Eluriand kept me interested. And that's a good thing.

Setting - 7/10

Seeing that the story eventually shifted through the entire city of Eluriand, plus the Obsidian Spire, that's a lot of ground covered in a single solo of this length. You took a lot of effort to incorporate your surrounding into your posts - from the dark Raiaeran night, the dungeon and the interior of the Obsidian Spire. There was particularly a lot of description about the Spire, even though there wasn't a lot of interaction with it as much. It’s kinda awkward to just go up and “touch” something, but there could be more interaction with your surrounding like. The scratchy dust from when you were being dragged behind the cart. The scent of mildew, moss and fungus in the dungeon. The chilly, empty halls of The Obsidian Spire. Those are a few things you could play around with more, but I think you’ll get the hang of it eventually.

Writing Style: - 6/10

Your writing style was very easy to follow, give or take a few grammar errors I found along the way. The pace flowed pretty well from one event to another, sometimes a bit too fast to effectively leave the reader with a good impression.

Also, at some points you repeated some words that could be left out while still retaining clarity. One I found was “Sighs of relief and sighs of despair met each other…” You could say “Sighs of relief and despair met each other…” and still mean the same thing.

I also noticed you switched back and forth between “Xem’zund” and “Xem’rund” in your posts. They might just be typos, but it is these typos that can really trip the reading pace. Take your time reading over the posts and, highly recommended, write it out on a word processor. MS Word has the tendency to jump at almost every foreign word not in the English Dictionary so you can spot these irregularities easier than just on the Quick Reply box.

Character - 6/10

Krugor appeared to me as if going on a rollercoaster of emotions from time to time – not the kind of thing expected from someone usually optimistic about life. It is understandable, though, that having gone through those horrible treatments would make Krugor more volatile than he would normally be.

Also, Krugor appeared to be well off considering he’s been kept inside a dungeon with little to no light at all. An everyday human would have already been thrown into dementia by the time the two weeks were up.

Asides from that, good work.

Dialogue - 7/10

The dialogue is one of your strong points here in this quest. Each words spoken, including those from the Elven NPCs were quite well thought out and matched their attitude. You portrayed the Raiaeran arrogance well with most of the NPCs introduced, especially during the first half of your quest before being dragged off to the Obsidian Spire.

Your dialogues were playful, witty and original. That I like. Sidrall Warzephyr’s last speech, however, seemed a bit off coming from a war veteran with underlying fear for the undead. The overall quality, however, dwarfed that little bump in the road.

Strategy - 5/10

Straight forward and to the point. There wasn’t a lot of strategy to read about, but nonetheless it suited well with the hasty retreat planned by Krugor. The elves appeared a bit too lax when it came to charging the former stronghold of Xem’zund, so that was a bit of a disappointment. Bringing in new recruits to the steps of a necromancer’s fortress was a bad move, especially after losing a scout party just a little while before.

Rising Action - 6/10

I can sense the tension rising slowly when Krugor was first cut off from the elves at the tower entrance. Still, I think you could do a bit more to add to the suspense. The rising action once the fight began wasn’t all that impressive, either, but nonetheless caught my attention.

Something that works well, especially in an isolation scenario, is to build up the character’s internal emotional turmoil. I understand that this might not work for certain types of character (such as the big bad Rambo-kind of person) though Krugor could look the part of having this emotional confusion.

Climax - 6/10

Charging away from the clay skeletons on a giant mushroom qualifies as a climax point for me. It came quick – a bit too quickly, perhaps – and ended quickly as well. Pretty well-played for a last-ditch attempt to get to safety, I would say.

Plus, mowing down that Warren fellow with the giant mushroom was a riot.

Conclusion - 6/10

Even though it was not exactly an ending to the story, you did a good job at wrapping up that episode. I somehow wonder that some day Warren might actually follow up on his plans to overrun Eluriand with his clay skeletons or otherwise the Bladesinger Guild will sack the Obsidian Spire to end the threat. Either way, this event warrants a follow-up story in the future.

Wild Card - 7/10

Considering that this is my first judged thread, I may have been a bit more critical than other judges. I like your witty thoughts and actions, plus quite a bit of comic relief from Warren. Great job and keep up the good work.

Special Regional Rubric Section: Regional Integration – 2/5

You did well in portraying the Bladesinger Guild and the High Bard Council, though I feel that at times it was not yet what it seemed to be. Great job, nonetheless.

Final Score: 68

Krugor receives 1089 EXP and 225 GP!

Spoil granted – Krugor gets his custom-made wrist band with the insignia of the Bladesinger Guild as well as unlimited access to Eluriand. Some Raiaerans still feel a bit unnerved around him, but he should feel safe to know no one will try to club him in a dark alley.

[Cyrus the virus]

Krugor levels up! Grats skelly.