Solomon vs. Asukastrikes

[AsukaStrikes]

Sononva-!

Asuka's train of thought was cut short by a smack on her unflattering chest and a thwack on her head. Her consciousness left with the wind caught in her throat, the raging emerald eyes flickering for a moment in silent surprise. The next thing she saw was the blurry green canopy and the light-bluish hue of the sky. Leaves rushed by her fuzzy vision with its silent song, a dark shadow standing just out of the corner of her eye.

Darn th- Shoot!

It took her only a second to realize where she was and the maiden rolled hard to her right, scattering more leaves into the wind in her wake.

Kuzo! Kuzo! Kuzo!

She had been too careless with him. She underestimated her opponent. Again.

No one told me he was this good... Asuka grimaced at her blunder, feeling the back of her head throbbing like a bitch even as she staggered onto her feet, trying to keep a clear sight of the martial artist. Or this strong. Oww...

Carelessness had costed her more than once in a fight, whether it was a simple street brawl or a tournament duel. For the first time, she was nearly lost at sea fighting against a halberdier. For the second time, she nearly got cleaved in half by a tank of a man with a gunblade and a great sword. For the third time, she nearly ended up as a pile of flesh and bones at the foot of a tower.

No more.

A snarl escaped the wildcat's lips while she rested on her unsteady legs, her broken left hand hanging limply at her side. The fist was useless now, smashed and dislodged from its socket by the force of her own punch. She would need to be more careful after this - no more punching people's lights out at high speed.

"Nice move, Solomon." She chuckled over her own breath, her mind fighting to suppress the needles of pain shooting up her arm. In fact, she was furious now that a simple, unarmed man had bested her. She would prove that even the might of the males would not prevail in her wrath.

"But you're coming with me anyways."

Asuka let out a shout as she shot forward from the tree, using the cragged barks as a launch pad straight for Solomon. She had thought about feinting a skip to the left and elbow him in the face, but she thought otherwise.

She could swing her hand to her belt and let Kazeryu flash in the gust of wind, aiming for his arms or legs with intent to cut his options short. Or even use the flat of her sword to smack him across the head, more than enough to knock a large man into a dizzying fit.

But Solomon - her opponent - was unarmed. She did not want to use her sword if all that would be met was flesh and bone. It was not fair to him. It was not fair to her.

"HrrrRAH!"

Grunting through her clenched teeth, she barreled forward on sweaty legs and leaned on her shoulder, tucking in her right arm and letting her broken left trail in the wind.

The weapon - Her bare, weathered right shoulder.

The target - Solomon's chin.

[Solomon]

Solomon watched, his eyes shinning, as the girl was sent crashing to the grinding roots of the forest floor. The bloodied fist slipped out from under his arm as she fell, and a painful rasp reached out through her throat. He let her tumble to the ground, falling back the way she had come. The wound up fist had found it's target perfectly, and stopped her dead in her tracks.

An elbow might have done more damage... He thought to himself, almost a little annoyed he hadn't thought of it before. Then again, with the angle, it might have been harder to hit her.

After this thought he realized the new addition to his body's torments. Like a steaming cloth was bunched up pushed against his chest the new sore warned him to be more careful. However he was not sure if it was quite as bad as the pulsing headache she had given him right off the bat.

Ignore it! She's not finished yet! He turned around, his face pressed into a sweaty glare. The girl was beginning to rise. She was obviously stricken by the pain he had caused her.

I did warn her. He thought, a mild smirk coming across his face. He brought his arms and legs back into line, raising his right leg up and his right fist in so his limbs were nearly aligned. Then, reaching into his core of energy he stepped down into a forward stance, his left leg out and his right leg back. His hands out steadily in front of him.

Keep this up and you'll be out of here in no time. He grimmaced to himself. It was good to feel this strong again. It had been a long time since he had felt his energy flowing through him so freely and wildly. Energy itself felt like cool waters, or hungry flames that galloped freely under your skin and throughout your muscles. It empowered each aspect of your fight, those who mastered it were all but invincible!

"Nice move, Solomon." She said, her voice slightly on edge. "But you're coming with me anyways."

I've got this fight in the bag! Solomon said, smiling full toothed. As her body flicked itself into place, and came at him with full force Solomon prepared his counter. He'd fall low, then spring up with an uppercut to her belly. That should finish her off.

She came at him all of a sudden, preapring to bash him with her strong shoulder. He let his knees sink and his body lowered to the ground. As he did so, he passed by her eyes. He shot off the firey rage he had inside of him, aiming directly into the harsh green flames that made up her eyes. Now she'd know she was messing with the wrong man.

As he fell, he suddenly lost his look of anger and fury. After he had glared so harshly into her eyes, a thought came to him that he could not stop.

You're ready to kill her aren't you?

The words hung coldly in Solomon's mind. They were so strong, and so unsettling that he didn't even have the power to rise up again to deliver the nearly fatal blow. Instead he lowered to the ground, and stared onward in dumbstruck blindlness as the beating knees smashed up against his face. The only thing he had time to do was close his eyes. He didn't even bring his hands up in defence.

The thought was suddenly taken away by a new world of pain. A screaming from his chest made by his very bones as they collided with the hard pillars that made up the woman's knees. He took one directly in the face, causing his head to fall backwards. The next one sank brutally onto his collar bone, the structre snapping under the force, and sending immediate warnings to his brain. Pain. Nothing but pain.

Solomon fell backwards as the charging women passed over him. By the time he hit the ground it felt like an eternity had passed. His neck twitched and rang with the new torment, and his shoulders sank lower without the support of the bone.

His passion had died

[AsukaStrikes]

((Permission to Bunny Granted by Solomon))

Asuka, you IDIOT!

The maiden let out a surprised wail as she sailed clear over her opponent's head after their collision, her legs instantly numbed by the impact of bone against bone. The image of a fallen fist fighter flashing by her vision as time slowed, almost hanging in eternity, before everything around her flew by in a blurry flash.

Solomon.

Trees.

Sky.

THWUP!

"Hurgh!" Asuka groaned as her back met the hard, weather-worn marble overrun with vines and littered leaves in an astounding fall. The maiden's frail, sunkissed shoulders pushed against the ground as she felt the rest of her body convulse and arch towards the sky, her mouth gaping wide in pain.

"Argh..." A coarse, angry shout escaped her throat as she slowly rolled over on her stomach, pushing off the cold stone floor with her red-streaked elbows and huffs of labored breathing. The maiden's coppery locks spread about in a disheveled mess, light brown leaves and tiny sticks protruding out from the mess of dull metallic hair.

It took her a good five minutes later to compose herself, dragging her legs off the fallen column of an ancient temple of sort and making mental notes of whether or not any of her bones were broken besides her fist. After moving her arms and legs a bit, she let out a sigh of relief and slowly hauled herself onto her feet.

Damned kid nearly broke my kneecaps... Asuka muttered in her mind as she limped over to her proned foe, wondering if she had done more than just knocked him out cold.

"Hrrgh... Don't tell me you've gone and died already, you stupid man." She cursed her luck and stooped down to turn him over, stirring up the dried brown leaves from the forest floor. To her relief, the man was still warm and he was breathing well, if not a bit faint than she had wanted. He did not look that beaten up, but there was a chance his injuries were more internal than what could be readily seen.

Heaving a sigh of resignation, Asuka realized she was not about to get anywhere soon leaving her quarry lying unconscious in the middle of Concordia. However, she stood there staring at the man with no resolution to the puzzle.

Well... I guess I could drag him back or something... She mused, giving him a soft kick to the ribs. ...No, that won't do. Not with one busted fist, I won't.

Throwing her arms up in defeat, she painfully bent down and draped Solomon's limp across her shoulders, immediately feeling the consequences of her folly.

Ow. I guess there goes one of my ribs... Asuka groaned and pressed her broken left hand against her stomach, trying to hold in the piece of bone while navigating through the trees. Their dense canopies provided her much respite from the burning sunlight outside, which she was sure to immediately burn through her stamina well before she could reach another human being in her condition. Of course, that would all change when they reach the edge of the woods.

Especially with the weight of an entire human being on her back.

What's his problem? It's not like those creepy old folks are going to kill him or anything. She grumbled inside, pushing through the low undergrowth on tired, aching legs.

Right?

((End of Round One))

[Ther]

Solomon

Story
Continuity – 6 (It’s great putting the Kira reference in there, since it builds continuity to a previous post. Still I would’ve liked to know just a little bit more about it – why’d she got,
for instance.)
Setting – 5 (Nothing really special or intriguing about the setting or the use of it).
Pacing- 7 (Try not to put so much space in between your opponent’s attack and your response to it, r.e. Post #6).
Writing Style
Mechanics – 7 (Watch-out for minor typos, like “mounful” in the first post or “urning” in #6.)
Technique – 7 (I liked the imagery in the first post – it wasn’t overdone. This line intrigues me – “the wind was interested in them.” That’s great.)
Clarity - 8
Character
Dialogue – 5 (Again, I think the standalone dialogue paragraphs hurt. They work better in larger paragraphs.)
Action - 5
Persona – 5 ((Not a whole lot of character development from beginning to end.)
Misc.
Wild Card - 6

Total – 61

AsukaStrikes

Story
Continuity – 5 (It’s also good that you linked to your character’s previous history, but it wasn’t as intriguing, that is, there isn’t as much tension as Solomon’s opening in this case.)
Setting – 5 (No intriguing use of the setting, really.)
Pacing – 6 (See what I wrote above about Solomon in this category – it’s always better to start a post with your response to the opponent’s action. Also, shoot for longer paragraphs – so many new paragraphs makes your writing feels choppy.)
Writing Style
Mechanics – 7 (I also spotted some typos in your posts – try to use a spell check feature if you can.)
Technique – 6 (The choppy paragraphs hurts the imagery in your post and makes it really difficult for you to use any extended rhetorical techniques).
Clarity - 8
Character
Dialogue – 5 (Overuse of ellipsis hurt your dialogue – it makes it blend together. Also, the paragraphs of just dialogue make it less effective as well).
Action - 5
Persona – 5 (Not a whole lot of character development from beginning to end.)
Misc.
Wild Card - 5

Total – 57

Both characters will receive normal EXP/GP and 500 bonus EXP.

[Ther]

Solomon earns 1600 EXP and 200 GP. Solomon is now Level 3.
Asuka earns 800 EXP and 100 GP.